[A humorous and apt observation about men and women.]

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1. A girl's makeup process: (--) (--) ( -- )( ) ( )() (**) (**) (*癶癶*) 2. There are only two kinds of women: the diligent ones go shopping in stores, and the lazy ones shop online.
3. He married a beautiful woman, but she was neither stunningly beautiful nor a beauty that could topple kingdoms or cities; instead, she bankrupted his family.
4. Actually, women are like slot machines. You have to put money in to play, and once you've played, you want to play more. Even if you run out of money, there are other people waiting to play.
5. People who are too calculating and petty are not suited for dating; they're better suited for grocery shopping.
6. When it comes to blind dates, 70% depends on tone of voice, 20% on facial expressions, 10% on the content of the conversation, and the remaining 90% depends on appearance.
7. In men's eyes: If a woman is ugly, she's a dog no matter what; In men's eyes: If a man is handsome, he's gay no matter what; In women's eyes: If a man spends money on a woman, he's a father no matter what; In women's eyes: If a woman is beautiful, she's a bitch no matter what.
8. Men's criteria for choosing a partner: First, she must be beautiful. If not beautiful, she must have good temperament. If not temperamental, she must be gentle. If not gentle, she must be understanding. If not understanding, she must be reasonably good-looking. If not good-looking, she must know how to dress. If she doesn't know how to dress, she must be good at housework! If she's too lazy to even learn housework, she should swallow her pride and "pursue" him. If she can't even "pursue" him, it's best if she's rich. If she doesn't even have money, then... sorry, I have to go!
9. If a guy pursues a girl, she will almost always reject him unless she already likes him. Conversely, if a girl pursues a guy, even if he doesn't initially have feelings for her, he'll often agree if she at least meets his standards. So, a girl who fails to win a guy's heart must be incredibly annoying to him.
10. Those who see marriage as the end of their lives are easily moved to tears when they see others getting married. Marriage, like the lie that "once you get into college, you can have as much fun as you want," is burdened with too much meaning. Such people, if unhappy in their marriage, begin to doubt true love and criticize their marriage, just like blaming college for not being able to find a job after graduation.
11. "Honey, it's thundering outside, I'm so scared..."
"Don't worry, it's just thunder, it'll pass in a bit."
"Okay, honey, could you come out from under the bed first?"
12. I told my wife that I dreamt last night that we went to Beijing to eat Peking duck. She asked if she ate any in the dream, and I said she didn't, she just watched me eat. That idiot immediately slapped me, saying I treated her badly, and went back to her parents' house in a huff. Even more ridiculous, my brother-in-law called and scolded me, making me redo it. Can I redo it?
13. A young wife said to her husband, who had just gotten off work, "Honey, I want to change jobs."
The husband was taken aback. He had finally found his wife a job, and she hadn't been working for long. Why was she making such a request again? He asked, "What's wrong? Are you unhappy with your job?"
The wife said, "No, my new colleagues are tired of seeing my old outfits."
14. Just now, my wife threw me a half-eaten peach, and I said, "You throw me your leftovers? Do you think I'm a dog?"
My wife glanced at me, then snatched it back. I immediately got angry and said, "You'd even steal a dog's things? Are you even human?"

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[A humorous and apt observation about men and women.]

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