Three dirty jokes

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① "Ode to Breasts"
Breasts, also known as milk. The breasts of a woman, numbering two, one on each side. They begin to develop in adolescence, reaching maturity at sixteen. By day they lie dormant, by night they radiate brilliance. They are called "Mimmets," "Boobs," "Twin Peaks," "Flower Chambers." A place that beauties have always vied for, a haven of tenderness for heroes since ancient times. What is their quality? New cotton in early summer. What is their flavor? Peach and plum blossoms in spring. What is their appearance? Rippling autumn waves. When in motion, like a timid jade rabbit; when still, like a languid white dove. High and majestic, fleshy and trembling, pink and tender, dewy and lustrous. They steal the souls of men and ignite the passions of women! I bow my weary head, exploring your twin jade peaks, like a ship entering harbor, like an old man returning home.
② *Qinyuanchun: Cao*
So many sexual techniques, they've exhausted countless men's backs. Their golden spears never falter, both inside and outside the Great Wall; the Yellow River's banks overflow with lustful waters. Emperors Tang and Song only knew anal sex; Genghis Khan, the proud conqueror, ejaculated outside the vagina, his semen reaching over a meter high; all the legendary figures of romance have been having sex all night long!
③ 2007 Annual Summary Report
These days
Greenhouses mess up the seasons.
The young lady has confused the generations.
Relationships messed up the process.
The levels confuse abilities.
The police disrupted the order.
Money has corrupted officialdom.
Cell phones are ruining families.
These days
Beautiful women don't cook.
The lack of gentleness in the kitchen
Gentle and indecisive.
A woman with strong opinions lacks femininity.
A woman's extravagant spending habits.
Not spending money recklessly is not fashionable.
Fashionable but unreliable
It's not safe to watch.
These days
A wife is like a mobile phone – economical but only usable locally.
A mistress is like a China Telecom connection – secure and stable, but you can't take her out.
Xiaomi is like China Mobile – convenient to use but too expensive.
Lover Wants China Connect - Elegant and Trendy, but Often Out of Service Area.
These days
The professor shook his head and gesticulated – making money everywhere, becoming more and more like a businessman.
Businessmen are increasingly resembling professors as they appear on the podium.
Doctors who refuse to treat patients—treating human life like dirt, increasingly resembling killers.
The assassin is swift and decisive, leaving no loose ends; he's becoming more and more like a doctor.
Celebrities flaunting their sex appeal – willing to sleep with anyone for money, increasingly resembling prostitutes.
The prostitutes are charming and attractive – with clearly marked prices, they're becoming more and more like celebrities.
The police are rampant and domineering—bullying the weak and fearing the strong, increasingly resembling thugs.
Local thugs, each ruling their own territory, are increasingly resembling police officers, taking responsibility for their actions.

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