18 Classic Dirty Jokes That Are Absolutely Subtle

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-18

1. After a shipwreck, one female passenger and ten male passengers drifted to a deserted island.

A month later, the woman committed suicide because she found the events of that month too disgusting.

A month later, they decided to bury her because they found the events of that month too disgusting.

A month later, they decided to dig her up because they found the events of that month too disgusting.

A month later, God resurrected the woman because he found the events of those months too disgusting.

2. A grown man came to a hotel and saw many beautiful cars in the garage. He

asked the owner, "Why are there so many beautiful cars?"

The owner told him, "I have a five-year-old son. He does three things. If you can do them, you can choose any car here to drive away.

If you can't, you'll have to leave your car here. Many people can't do it, so...

" The man thought, "If a five-year-old can do it, surely he can do it too," and decided to give it a try.

The boss took him to a room where there was a beautiful woman.

The child kissed her, and the boy did the same.

Then the child touched the woman's whole body, and the boy did the same.

The third thing the child did was take out his penis and bend it three times...

3. A man was living in seclusion in the mountains. One day, he was lying naked in the grass, resting.

Suddenly, a little girl picking mushrooms came: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5..." She eventually gave up and left. The man was very pleased.

The next day, he slept there again, and a little bear picking mushrooms came: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5... 6, 7, 8..."

4. It is said that Snow White and Pinocchio lived in a big forest.

One day, Snow White finally couldn't stand the loneliness,

grabbed Pinocchio's head and squeezed it between her legs, saying, "Tell the truth, tell a lie, tell the truth again, tell a lie again..."

She said this a thousand times before she finally let Pinocchio go.

5. Two fishermen were fishing on the beach.

One day, one fisherman caught a mermaid. From the tail up, she was a stunningly beautiful woman, but the fisherman thought for a moment and released her.

The other fisherman was puzzled and asked, "Why?"

The first fisherman shrugged and replied, "How?"

6. Donation

A man and a woman met at a blood donation center and started chatting.

The woman said, "I'm here to donate blood, they'll pay me five yuan."

The man said, "I'm here to donate sperm, they'll pay me fifty yuan."

The woman thought about it for a long time. Then they parted ways.

A few months later, they met again at the donation center.

The man greeted her, "Hi, here to donate blood again?"

The woman kept her mouth tightly shut, shaking her head and making "woo-woo" sounds…

8. A man was a gambler.

One day, he went to the suburbs to gamble and only had about 180 yuan left, but a taxi back would cost 200 yuan.

He thought he could talk to the local gambler when he got there and maybe he could let it go.

When they arrived in Chengdu, he told the taxi driver, "Sorry, I had bad luck today, I only have a little over 180 yuan left, I'm a bit short, sorry."

The taxi driver, however, was incredibly rude. He cursed at him, saying some very offensive things. Since

he owed the driver money, he couldn't retaliate. That was the end of that day.

Two or three months later, he went gambling again and had good luck, winning several thousand yuan.

When he left, he went back to Chengdu.

There was a row of taxis parked outside the casino, maybe about 20.

As soon as he stepped out, he saw the last one—the one with the driver who had cursed him before.

So he did something…you absolutely wouldn't believe it.

He went to the first taxi

and asked, "How much to Chengdu?"

The driver replied, "200 (this is the standard price).

" He asked, "300, are you going?

" The driver said, "Yes, why not for 300?"

He said, "Then you have to brake halfway there

." The driver asked, "Why?"

He said, "You have to give me ****

!" The taxi driver: ! #%%…tnn…—**j

cursed him. He left,

and then went to the second car, where the same conversation took place. The result was the same...

The first dozen or so cars all said the same thing, until finally, when he got to the car of the driver who had been cursing him,

he asked: "300 yuan, will you go to Chengdu?"

The driver replied: "Yes, definitely

." He said: "Then I have a request, you have to go to all the cars ahead and tell the drivers: 300 yuan, I'm leaving! And you have to look really happy!"

The drivers said: "That's easy."

Then he ran to the front and greeted all the drivers: "

300 yuan, Chengdu, I'm leaving! "

9. Once upon a time, three bats went to a bar for drinks.

The first bat said: "Boss, a glass of fresh blood."

The other two saw this and said: "You're so old-fashioned, what era are you living in?"

The second bat said: "Boss, a glass of lemon blood."

The other two bats laughed: "Look at your taste."

The third bat said: "Boss, a glass of boiled water, I want to make tea."

11. A hospital. The doctors and nurses were all ugly. A patient went to have a tooth pulled and bled to death…

12. Eric Tsang wanted to quit acting and become a monk, so he went to a temple to ask the abbot to take him in.

The abbot said he had to pass two tests, the first being to be a vegetarian for three months.

After three months, Eric Tsang went to see the abbot to ask for the second test. The abbot gave him a bell and told him to tie it to his penis, saying, "If you can see Ye Zimei's three points fully exposed without the bell ringing, I will accept you as my disciple. "

So he summoned Ye Zimei, and Eric Tsang's bell rang loudly.

The abbot frowned and said, "You fail!"

Eric Tsang was unconvinced: "I don't believe that all the monks in this temple can pass this test!"

The abbot had no choice but to summon ten monks and have Ye Zimei expose her points again. Sure enough, only Eric Tsang's bell rang, so loudly that it fell to the ground.

When Eric Tsang bent down to pick up the bell, the other ten bells rang…

13. A pervert, a money-grubber, and a homosexual died at the same time, and they all wanted to go to heaven.

God told them that they must undergo trials on the way to Heaven and change their bad habits from their previous life in order to enter Heaven; otherwise, they would only be able to go to Hell.

Three people set off for heaven. Suddenly, they saw a group of beautiful women by the roadside. A lecherous man in front couldn't resist rushing over to grope them, but ended up falling into hell.

The other two continued walking and suddenly saw a wallet on the ground, with a thick wad of banknotes faintly visible.

The greedy man bent down to pick it up, but just as he was about to touch it, he remembered the lecherous man's miserable fate in hell. He resisted his greed, straightened up, and walked the rest of the way alone, ascending to heaven...

14. Manager Huang and Miss B were having an affair.

One day, Miss B gave Manager Huang a painting of two doves with a dead sheep underneath. Manager Huang's secretary couldn't understand it and handed it to the manager, who then burst out laughing...

15. Snow White taking off her clothes—guess the name of a beverage.

16. Men's favorite day: January 31st. Their least favorite day: December 1st.

17. A tonic produced in Shandong is extremely potent. If a man takes it, a woman can't handle it; if a woman takes it, a man can't handle it; if both take it, the bed can't handle it.

A reporter asked, "Why not grow more of this good medicine?" The old farmer squinted, smiled faintly, but didn't answer…

18. Two brothers surnamed Mei reported for enrollment.

The elder brother was named Fengwu, and everyone said his name was beautiful.

When asked how he got it, he said, "The night before my mother gave birth to me, my father dreamed of a phoenix perched on a parasol tree, hence the name."

Everyone praised him. When asked about his younger brother, the younger brother wouldn't speak.

Then the elder brother said, "My younger brother has always hated roosters crowing on banana trees…"

19. One day, a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife. Because he had never bought underwear for his wife before, he didn't know which size to get!

After arguing with the clerk for a long time, the clerk finally used fruit to describe it!

Clerk: Papaya?! Gentleman: No! No!

Clerk: Apple?! Gentleman: No, no, no!

Clerk: Wax apple?! Gentleman: Smaller!

Clerk: Egg?! The gentleman happily said: Yes! Yes! Yes!

When the shop assistant turned to get the underwear after understanding, the woman suddenly shouted: "Miss, wait a minute! It's been fried. "

21. In the office, a female office worker asked a male colleague to tell a short but witty dirty joke.

The man pondered for a moment and said eight words: "I am the farmer who hoes the field, you are the midday sun!"

22. A man and a woman, because they didn't have a house, spent their wedding night at the woman's house.

The next morning, the young couple didn't come downstairs for breakfast, but the elderly couple didn't think much of it.

At noon, the young couple still didn't come downstairs. The elderly couple thought they were too tired the night before and still didn't think much of it.

When it was time for dinner and the young couple still hadn't come down, the old man couldn't sit still anymore and said to his youngest son, "Did something happen to your sister and brother-in-law last night?"

The youngest son replied, "Nothing happened. Oh, by the way, last night my brother-in-law asked me for some Vaseline, and unfortunately I had just run out, so I gave him some super glue I use for model making!"

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/216835.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=216835&aspx=1

Last access time:

Previous Page : Three dirty jokes

Next Page : A letter from a mature woman.

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

18 Classic Dirty Jokes That Are Absolutely Subtle

comment Open a new window to view comments