The most popular jokes on the internet in 2011

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1. Since its establishment, the National Development and Reform Commission has only done two things: 1) raise prices, 2) defend price increases.
2. Currently, effective anti-corruption measures in China include: 1) marital discord; 2) home burglary; 3) accidents; 4) reports from mistresses; and 5) online curses.
3. Shanghai said to Beijing, "Burning down a building after a grand event is one of our old traditions..." Beijing nodded, and then both Shanghai and Beijing silently watched Guangzhou...
4. I caught a cold, but worried about the expense of going to the hospital, so I said to my wife, "Let's make some ginger soup." My wife replied, "Ginger is too expensive, let's go to the hospital instead..."
5. Reasons for the popularity of foreign milk powder in China: 1) It does not contain melamine; 2) If it does, there is a huge amount of compensation that can be claimed.
6. Everyone must die eventually, but some die from gutter oil, some from lime-coated flour, some from milk powder containing kidney stones, some from toxic vaccines, some from dilapidated buildings, some from demolitions, some from diaries, some from alcohol and sex, and some from under the wheels of a BMW… China’s slogan: “A glass of milk a day” has shocked a nation! Death is not scary; what is scary is not knowing how you died!
7. China may not be the country with the most land disputes with its neighbors, but it is certainly the country with the most land disputes with its own citizens.
8. Since no one died after the New Zealand earthquake, there won't be an awards ceremony, there won't be as many heroic deeds, there won't be any movies made, donations won't be possible, flags can't be flown at half-mast, the whole country can't stop playing online games, celebrities can't commit fraudulent donations, and there's no way to create miracles of life!
9. Education: Go in with hope, come out in despair; Healthcare: Go in with minor illnesses, come out with major illnesses; Real Estate: Go in living in cramped conditions, come out as mortgage slaves; Performing Arts: Go in as innocent girls, come out as prostitutes; Imitation: Go in as Dou E, come out as madmen; Officialdom: Go in as Hai Rui, come out as He Shen; Coal Mine: Go in squatting, come out lying down; University: Go in as campus beauties, come out as withered flowers!
10. China's National Bureau of Statistics announced that the average monthly income per capita in Chinese cities has exceeded 9,000 RMB. Some people said, "Comrades who are dragging the country down, please forward this message." Seeing this news, I couldn't help but feel saddened. I was ashamed to forward it. Thinking about it carefully, I realized I've not just dragged the country down, I've dragged it down to its very core.
11. Ideal Life: Earn a Saudi salary, live in a British house, use a Swedish phone, wear a Swiss watch, marry a Korean woman, keep a Japanese mistress, get Thai massages, drive a German car, fly on an American plane, drink French wine, eat Australian seafood, smoke Cuban cigars, wear Italian shoes, date Spanish women, watch Austrian operas, buy a Russian villa, hire a Filipino maid, have Israeli bodyguards, enjoy Turkish saunas, and be a civil servant in China. If you achieve the last one, all the others are attainable.
12. The film academy is recruiting again, and many beautiful women have come. When asked what they think about unspoken rules, the beauties calmly replied: "As long as there are rules, things are easy to handle."
13. Starting from midnight on April 14th, the government will raise the price of gasoline and diesel by 320 yuan per ton. After receiving the news, people across the country expressed that since the price increase does not include gutter oil, the impact on their daily lives will be minimal.

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The most popular jokes on the internet in 2011

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