Online dating and meeting girls: personal experience sharing (9)

Hey everyone, it's me again, Lao Xu.
After reading so many of my articles, you should all have a basic understanding of online chatting. This time, I'll give a brief summary. Since chatting is purposeful, we can't chat for half a year and still expect the other person to consider us just friends. So, this time I'll talk about a chatting process.
I'll show you from the beginning how to use chatting to gradually get a girl to agree to a date. First, we attract girls with our profile, then build a relationship through chatting, making her feel that you are a high-value man, and finally, we smoothly ask her out. Here's a five-step process, evenly distributed over one to two weeks or even less. This is just my usual method, shared for your reference:
Step 1, Comfortable Conversation. What does this mean? It means you should chat comfortably like two friends. At the very least, you should be able to have a conversation; it can't always be her listening to you or you listening to her without any real exchange. Here, you absolutely mustn't have any other ulterior motives or neediness, or be eager to show off your attractiveness (showing off or starting flirting). So what constitutes a comfortable conversation? We need to pay attention to three principles: 1. Keep the topic light throughout. For example, when you first meet a girl, never discuss overly in-depth topics (like her ex-boyfriend's situation). 2. Avoid being needy. For example, if a girl takes five minutes to recall a message, you can reply in eight minutes. Also, keep the word count under ten characters per line. Don't try to flatter her by immediately praising or complimenting her; this was already discussed in the previous article. 3. Ask fewer questions and use declarative sentences as much as possible. Constantly asking questions will put pressure on the other person; nobody likes being interrogated. It's not that you can't ask questions, but you should gradually learn about her. A comfortable conversation is the first round of chatting, which might only involve about ten sentences, but the entire conversation could take thirty minutes or even an hour. This isn't important; the main thing is to make the girl feel comfortable and perceive you as a polite, well-mannered, and high-value man.
However, you can't maintain this comfort level indefinitely, right? If you continue in this comfortable state, you'll fall into what we often call the "friend zone," where she only sees you as a good friend. This can lead to situations where the conversation runs out of things to say. Girls don't lack one or two friends, but what they need is a charming man (otherwise, why use a dating app?). Therefore, you need to break this comfortable conversation, which is the second step in the process.
The second step is breaking the comfort zone. At this point, you can break the comfortable relationship by teasing her, making fun of her (be careful with the details), asking her to do things for you, etc., making your conversation more interesting and less harmonious. It looks a bit like playful bickering and teasing, like a playful fight. Breaking the comfort zone generally uses the following techniques. The first is push-pull, which means using praise and criticism simultaneously. For example: "Uh, you're a girl with a big face, one of the prettiest ones." Or: "You look a lot like a celebrity (the girl is happy to hear this)," and she replies asking, "Who?" Then you say, "Um, that really famous celebrity." Then she'll continue to ask, "Who is it?" You tell her it's Li Yuchun. That's called push-pull. Second—teasing. For example, if a girl makes a mistake, you can tease her, "Hey, did you drink too much?" Third—giving nicknames. We know that people who are familiar with each other give nicknames. So, this can help you get to know each other quickly. Remember, don't give her overly ambiguous names like "baby." Because it's not the right time yet. For example, you can say, "Hey, you look a little naughty, let's call you 'Rogue Rabbit'." Or, "You look a little silly, let's call you 'McDull'." Use your imagination to come up with nicknames like that. Fourth—arrogant and humorous, be a little proud and narcissistic. First, it will make the girl think you are very confident. Second, it will create good interaction. For example, you can say to the girl, "Isn't it wonderful to chat with such a talented and humorous man like me?" The girl will usually reply, "Pfft." No matter what she says, OK, you've already achieved your goal. Fifth—screening. This means you evaluate the girl from a higher perspective, or question her. This helps girls rationalize that you're a high-value man, laying the groundwork for attraction. Don't start by showing off. It also helps eliminate some girls who aren't interested or only see you as a friend. For example, saying things like, "A girl like you probably has no sense of humor," or "Are you only good at makeup and taking selfies?" is a filtering technique. Basically, using these methods to break the ice can create better interaction with girls and differentiate you from other uninteresting men.
Most people have some dating experience and might know how to tease girls; the first two steps aren't difficult. However, if you keep teasing a girl, she won't know what you're trying to do. She might think, "Is this guy just here to joke around?" So, we move on to the third step
: demonstrating attraction. Further enhance her interest, making her genuinely interested in you, truly attracting her. This is called demonstrating attraction. Demonstrating attraction means showcasing your value or excellent qualities, not just directly displaying them. Remember what I said in my last article? For example, "I own a Rolls-Royce, and I live in a large ocean-view villa." We need to guide her to ask questions. Through these questions, we can subtly showcase our own qualities. For example, we can ask a girl, "What's the most romantic thing you've ever done?" She might then launch into a long explanation. Then she might ask you questions in return, which is a natural way to demonstrate your value. You could say, "There was a girl who wanted to ride one of those wooden tourist buses. One day, I rented one, parked it downstairs, called her down, and took her for a spin." (I know some might ask, "Hey, you have a C1 license and you drive a bus? Please, girls don't care about that. If she asks, just say you rented a driver.") This example of a conversation subtly demonstrates my value and that I'm a thoughtful and romantic man. Another example: "I had such a bad day." She asks what happened. You can say, "My car got scratched, my wallet was stolen, and someone said I wasn't handsome." This is also a way to guide her to ask you questions, letting her know you have a car and a wallet, and that you have good taste in life. This also subtly and naturally showcases your value. What other excellent qualities can we showcase? Here are some excellent qualities I've summarized that you can showcase:
1. High quality of life; 2. Good taste; 3. Courage; 4. Other girls have liked you before; 5. Responsible; 6. Filial piety; 7. Compassionate; 8. Ambitious; 9. A male leader in a group.
Now, you can use the points mentioned above to set up guiding topics and construct your own attractive story. You can study this carefully yourselves. In short, it's like building a showcase, so it's best to have pictures. A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Anyway, after reading so many articles, you should have a general idea. If you don't understand, go back and read them again. Those of you who have read
this far might be saying, "Wasn't it supposed to be five steps? How come we're already at the end after only three?" Don't worry, I've been quite busy lately. These articles were all pre-written. That's all for today. See you in the next article, where I'll talk about two things everyone wants to know: Step four, escalating the relationship; Step five, confirming the invitation.
I'm Lao Xu. If you like my sharing, please leave a comment to support me, and you can also add me as a friend to get to know me!

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