Write to Myself 2

After walking for a long time, we finally found a reasonably priced but acceptable hotel. Once inside, he quickly went to the bathroom. When he came out, he pushed me onto the bed and started kissing me. I slowly responded. After a while, he started taking off my clothes, including my bra, and began kissing my breasts. I held his head, and my mouth began to moan wantonly. He grabbed and squeezed my breasts forcefully, causing me pain until tears streamed down my face. He then moved his hands down, slipping them inside my pants and underwear, touching my clitoris. He said, "Do you want it? It's wet, don't you want it?" I didn't respond at all because I had previously told him that I couldn't accept him if he touched her. Actually, I knew they had definitely slept together. After a moment of internal struggle, I finally gave in to him. After he undressed me, he asked me to help him undress, and we continued our passionate kissing. He pressed my head down, guiding me to his penis, wanting me to perform oral sex. I usually only perform oral sex on him after I've washed myself thoroughly. Seeing my hesitation, he said, "I'll kiss you, you kiss me too," and I agreed. We'd never done oral sex without washing before, and he rarely licked me. That night, he licked me very earnestly, lifting my legs high and giving me oral sex seriously, even biting my labia. This was the most pleasurable oral sex I'd ever had with him. We did it for almost ten minutes before he penetrated me. His penis wasn't big or long, and he usually only lasted a few minutes, but this time it lasted about twenty minutes. We did missionary positions, with me on top of him, sitting and embracing. After he ejaculated, he drifted off to sleep. The next day, I woke up first and watched him sleep. At that moment, I didn't feel any resentment; I just looked at him happily. Later, he got up, and we did it twice more before he went to shower. While he was showering, I secretly used his phone to call that woman, but she didn't answer. So I texted her saying we were together. Only then did I go in to shower with him. We did it inside too. He picked me up, put me on the sink, and penetrated me. Finally, he made me penetrate him in front of the mirror. This was the first time I'd ever had sex in front of a mirror. After we made love, I told him about the text message. I knew he was angry, and I was angry too. When we checked out and ate, we were both preoccupied and didn't eat much. I went back to school by myself. As soon as I got to my dorm, my current boyfriend said that the girl asked for my number; they knew each other. I said I'd give it to him, knowing it was inevitable, and I was honest with him. He hung up immediately and ignored me. The girl started texting me abusive messages. By evening, I was waiting for his answer. He said he chose her, and I burst into tears. I cried for a long time before calling him myself. The first few times the line was busy, and I knew they were calling each other again; my heart sank. I finally got through several times, but unfortunately, we argued. I got angry, hung up, and wanted to go to his school to find him. Just as I was about to go back to get my bag, he called and said he was coming to my school to find me. That night, on my school's basketball court, we were both silent. I tried to cling to him by saying I'd always follow him around and not study, but he was very annoyed. The standoff continued for over two hours until midnight. During this time, the woman called, but I was afraid to answer, worried that if I made a sound, things would escalate. Later, they started arguing. I had an urge to run out of the school gate and get hit by a car. Surprisingly, he didn't stop me; instead, he deliberately lagged behind to return the woman's call. I turned back and saw this, so I kicked him twice. He then walked away quickly, and when I chased after him, he ran off. I couldn't catch him. When I reached the school gate, he was nowhere to be seen, so I started crying loudly there.

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