Hesitant Heart

Night deepened, yet the quiet streets remained brightly lit. I leaned against the balcony railing, gazing into the distance, a sense of loss, emptiness, and restlessness making me irritable. My husband was still sitting on the edge of the bed, his anxious and confused face reflected in the bedroom window. He was smoking, one cigarette after another; I knew why.
Today was a rare day for us both. Since having a child, it's been difficult for us to share a bed. Tonight, the child's mother had taken him away. At eight o'clock, after showering, we undressed early and went into the room. The warm air from the air conditioner felt wonderful. I leaned naked against the headboard, the bedside lamp illuminating my full, shapely figure. Although I'm almost forty, my breasts and buttocks were round and firm. I was grateful to my parents for giving me a beautiful face and fair skin; I thanked my husband for his constant care. On this rare night, I opened my legs, my inner desire and excitement making me wet. I watched him approach and then raised my genitals to receive him. Without foreplay, he entered me, his vigorous thrusts eliciting cries of pleasure from me. I wished this intensity would never end. However, less than two minutes later, he withdrew, becoming limp. I felt as if I had fallen into an abyss just before reaching the gates of pleasure…
I've always felt my libido is very strong, especially now that I'm almost forty; these physical urges have become increasingly intense.
My husband coughed from the smoke, and I suddenly felt a pang of sadness. His failure wasn't entirely his fault. We've been married for so many years, and he's never wronged me in any way. For years, due to work responsibilities, we often neglected our sex life. Sometimes, when we undressed and went to bed, it was because of fatigue that we ignored his desires. As people reach middle age, those who have experienced sex often feel a lack of sexual desire—that's the feeling of new passion. Coupled with busy work schedules, the frequency of sex inevitably decreases significantly. Over the years, my husband has tried many methods to rekindle that passion, such as making love in the community garden, in the stairwell, in the car, or on the balcony on summer nights. I know his good intentions. He knew my sexual needs, and his smoking today made me feel guilty, which made me realize my own narrow-mindedness and selfishness.
I went back to my room, and the cool air soothed my troubled mood. My husband came up to me, looking apologetic, and said, "Honey, let me find someone for you. Maybe you can go on a trip, or go to Beijing... find D!" I said, "Honey, don't blame yourself, I don't blame you! I won't go! I'm sorry! ...
Just thinking about D makes me feel guilty, and my heart trembles..."
D and my husband were college classmates and very good friends. He was a civil servant in a Beijing government agency. D was a very good person, tall and strong, refined and humorous. To be honest, after my husband and I met him during our courtship, he had always given me a very good impression for many years. It was in 2005 when I went to Beijing on a business trip. My husband called him in advance to ask him to host me. During my few days in Beijing, he took care of me every day, taking me sightseeing and to eat delicious food. But it was on this trip that things happened, and in retrospect, it was bound to happen. It was my third day in Beijing. After several busy days, I felt apologetic and wanted to treat D's family to a meal to express my gratitude. However, D's wife happened to be away on a business trip. For dinner, D brought his friends and their families, saying it would be more lively with more people, or perhaps for other reasons. Everyone chatted and laughed freely at the table, but D's friends would occasionally give D and me mischievous looks. After dinner, we went to a bar in Sanlitun. It was almost midnight when we left the bar. D said goodbye to his friends and their families. The two men swayed and I couldn't make out what they were saying. D and I went together, and D drove me back to my hotel. Perhaps because of the cold wind, D became quite drunk after getting in the car. When we arrived at the hotel, D insisted on taking me back to my room. Seeing his intoxicated state, I felt it wasn't safe for him to walk alone, so I helped him back to my room. After entering the room, D immediately rushed into the bathroom, closed the door, and I heard him vomit. He hadn't come out for over ten minutes, so I should go in and check on him. D was leaning against the sink, splashing cold water on his face when I went in. He said, "Sorry, I'm fine. I just drank too much, I'll be okay after I throw up." Seeing him like this, I could only tell him to be more careful in the future and take care of himself. I helped him out and handed him some tea I had made for him. He took a sip and said he wanted to lie down for a while. I told him to lie down, but he fell asleep soon after. To be honest, I had also drunk some alcohol because I was happy, and my head was spinning. Seeing him asleep, I grabbed my sweatshirt and quietly went into the bathroom. I locked the door, intending to take a hot shower. Perhaps it was the hot water on my skin, but I felt aroused. I gently touched my most sensitive areas with the soap suds and almost cried out.
I stayed in the bathroom for a long time, and when I came out, D was still fast asleep. A lone man and woman were going to be alone in a room tonight. I wanted to sleep, but I had a feeling something was going to happen. The night was quiet, and I don't know how long we silently endured this, lost in thought. I was drowsy when I felt a pair of large male hands press against my breasts. I felt both ashamed and delighted, wanting to pull him away, but I was too weak. He kissed my earlobe with his tongue, and I trembled as if electrocuted… I was wet, very wet. He tried to unhook my bra, and I instinctively sat up. I saw D! His face was flushed, and he was very ashamed. He said, “Sister-in-law, I’m sorry…” I saw the urgent yet timid look in D’s eyes and felt incredibly guilty. I wanted to rush up and let him hug me. But I couldn’t. The heat and trembling all over my body made me incoherent. D couldn’t say anything. His usual eloquence was gone. He just kept repeating, “Sister-in-law, I’m sorry…” I only remember asking D, “Is it really going to happen?” D said, “I don’t care about anything anymore.” These few words made me feel like a river that had broken its banks, unable to stop my unbridled passion. I lowered my head and quietly obeyed him as he took off my top and bra. A pair of firm breasts bounced out. D started undressing too, quickly, his strong, muscular physique making my heart race. I lay back on the edge of the bed, half-asleep yet fully aware, feeling my pajama bottoms and black panties being removed. We were familiar yet strange; the alcohol had made us very open.
Afterwards, D held me close and we talked for a long time, discussing the essence of sex, its pursuit, and communication. Listening to D's generous and lengthy talk, I felt both excited and calm. Yes, sex certainly has a social aspect, but it also has a physiological one! Love can certainly lead to sex—that's the social aspect of sex—but can love imprison sex? Sex, as a physiological phenomenon, is a need, an enjoyment for humans and all living things. When both partners in a relationship let go of selfishness, sex is no longer lewd, but joyful. As a woman, is it necessary to have a burning sexual desire while simultaneously imprisoning yourself and your husband?
Dawn broke, and the two lovers, exhausted, fell asleep. I don't know when, but D quietly got up and went out to buy a lot of food. He stood smiling in front of my bed, while I was still naked. I told him to leave, quickly put on a sweatshirt, and blushed as I rushed into the bathroom.
Our openness made us move quickly. At D's suggestion, we skipped the day's activities and stayed in the room all day. We talked a lot... D had had naughty thoughts before; he had masturbated for me, and when he had sex with his lover, he would fantasize about me and feel more passionate.
D is also a gentle man. During sex, D explored my pubic hair with his tongue, and I obediently opened my naked legs, exposing my genitals, which I had only recently acquired after marriage, to the second man. I also carefully observed his differences: thick, hard, with a large head, and when erect, it pressed against my lower abdomen... He boasted that it was the result of his fitness regimen. He kept kissing me, from my breasts and lower abdomen to my pubic hair and clitoris. I was like a newlywed, overflowing with love juice. When he entered me, I felt an unparalleled fulfillment, far surpassing my relationship with my husband and before marriage… It felt like a long-lost youth. We made love four times, each time with overwhelming climaxes. The last time, I was the one on top…
I left with mixed feelings, ashamed yet satisfied. We agreed to keep it a secret, that it was just an activity we needed each other for.
But somehow, our agreement not to contact each other was frequently broken by his burning longing. Eventually, my husband discovered the truth, and I had no choice but to break the agreement and tell him.
Anger, silence, forgiveness… A drunken escapade!
My husband's tolerance highlighted my selfishness, and his understanding allowed us to meet repeatedly over the years. Each time, he gave me overwhelming passion and an unending longing.
Today, he brought up D, his close friend. He wants to give me a different experience, to love and be passionate with D under his care. Just thinking about it makes my heart race. Is my husband disgusted and resentful of my infidelity…? I dare not speculate; I can only fulfill my duty as a wife!
For the past few months, he's been urging me to
check out 69.com. Can a married couple really accept the involvement of a third person? Will they still have that passionate, selfless love?

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/96414.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=96414&aspx=1

Previous Page : Lewd but not disorderly

Next Page : Salted pig's trotters

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

Hesitant Heart

comment Open a new window to view comments