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Attempt to rape 

I can't remember who brought it up first, perhaps it was an unspoken understanding? Once, we talked about rape. He asked if all women have a deep-seated fantasy of being raped. I thought about it carefully, and it's true, when I see images or read descriptions of rape, I always feel a strong urge… So we decided to try it! Actually, I was very nervous, repeatedly emphasizing to him to pay attention to my expressions, and to stop if the pain became unbearable. He joked that rape is a kind of destructive beauty, a "beastly" act of ignoring the other person's feelings and only caring about his own release. My heart was filled with excitement, fantasy, and unease as I followed him into the room…
As soon as we entered, without a word, he pushed me down onto the bed, lifted my skirt, and quickly entered me from behind after only taking off his shorts… I let out a soft moan. I've always been sensitive around him, seemingly never needing foreplay, or perhaps we've always been so desperately yearning for each other that foreplay is never necessary? The intense physical stimulation combined with the deep longing in my heart quickly brought me to a climax… I collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily and drenched in sweat. Turning back, I smiled at his handsome face. “Baby, it’s so hot. Can’t you at least turn on the air conditioner? Can’t you at least let me take my clothes off?” He started “teasing” me again… “Look, you’ve stained the sheets. Look how quickly you blew up. Look at you…” I said, “Stop talking! This is rape? It’s really exciting!” He laughed. “This? This is just a warm-up, okay? Rape? I didn’t even dare to use my full strength. Look at how you screamed. I was afraid it would hurt you.” I was extremely embarrassed. “Stop teasing me! Will I die if I don’t laugh at you?” I got up, took a shower, and lay down to rest for a while. He rolled over on top of me again. I said, “Can’t I rest for a bit?” He playfully flicked my nose and said, “Do you think I’d let you off so easily?” …Soon I was back… After showering, I lay down and said, “Baby, shall we try rape now?” My heart started pounding, and I silently gave in… I forget how he dragged me to the corner, but in just a few thrusts, it felt like he was pushing into my stomach. I started screaming, trying to tell him it hurt, it really hurt, but before I could even open my mouth, he covered it tightly. I was now face down on the bed, my arms pinned beneath me, my head pressed against the bed as he covered my mouth. In just a few thrusts, the pain swept through my entire body. I struggled desperately but couldn't move an inch. I desperately tried to make a pleading sound, hoping he would understand, but all resistance was futile. Instantly, I was drenched in sweat… A sense of despair mixed with a strange pain and pleasure overwhelmed me… He released me, and I screamed, “It hurts! It hurts so much!” He held me tenderly in his arms and gently kissed me… I said, “Is this what rape is like? It’s terrifying.” He said real rape should continue, but he was worried I couldn’t handle it, so he let me go to see… That day, I orgasmed four times. But we didn't go all the way with the rape. Looking back, it was really exciting! Sometimes, I believe that extreme pain is followed by even more extreme pleasure. Someday, we'll truly experience a moment of unbridled…rape…

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