[Beijing] Reflections after a year and a half in the park (purely emotional, not passionate)

As the saying goes, every effect has a cause. Everything we do has its initial purpose. Friends, do you still remember why you came here? Do you remember your lowest point? Perhaps you've forgotten, perhaps you still remember clearly; I belong to the latter.
Let me tell you about my lowest period. February 2013 was the most difficult time of my life so far. I was like a walking corpse, feeling like there was no light at the end of the world, completely disoriented. During the day, I could fill my time completely, leaving no spare moments. But when I returned to my little apartment at night, that was when my nightmare began. I don't remember how many times I drank in that apartment. I became addicted to the taste of Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor), pungent and strong, just like the pain in my heart, like being cut by a knife, like being pricked by needles. Countless times I sat on the floor, leaning against the radiator, lost in thought. Every night, I numbed my senses with alcohol, perhaps spending the night half-lying, half-sitting on the floor, and then going to work the next day.
Do you know what's the most torturous thing? Whenever I feel lonely, I think of that person in my heart, of everything from the past. Looking at the things we once shared, at all the clothes, shoes, and other items you used to buy me, I truly feel that you are everywhere in my world, your presence etched in every corner, so deeply, so painfully.
Even though you have a new boyfriend now, I believe you won't forget our past. Since we broke up, I rarely log into QQ, I created a new account for work, and I no longer post statuses or forward messages on WeChat. My only purpose is to prevent you from remembering even a ripple of my memory. People are truly strange; I miss her terribly, yet I don't want her to know. I once boldly declared that you would regret it, but now I realize it was pointless. I sincerely hope you persevere and don't regret it, because I know how painful regret is.
It's been a year and a half now, and I still can't forget you. At the beginning of summer, I cycled to your workplace. Perhaps it was divine punishment, but as soon as I arrived, it started pouring rain—a rare downpour. Cycling in the rain, the flooded roads and obstructed visibility made it difficult to move forward. Looking up at the sky, the raindrops stung my face, and the pent-up pain in my heart suddenly burst forth. Tears streamed down my face with the rain. I wonder if anyone was nearby that day? Do you remember that shirtless man, holding a bicycle and roaring in the pouring rain? That was me. I didn't get back to my little place until after 2 a.m. I'd cycled over 60 kilometers that day. Although the distance wasn't far, I caught a cold after being soaked to the bone. Fortunately, I'm physically strong and pulled through.
Now, let me talk about my initial motivation for going to Liujiu. I discovered Liujiu by accident. I remember it was April 2013. At the time, I was surprised, doubtful, excited, and mostly curious. Looking back now, I've been involved in this field for over a year. During that time, I was scammed by female shills, but thankfully I was vigilant enough not to suffer any financial loss. Even the near-scam couldn't dampen my curiosity. Just when I was about to quit, fate smiled upon me, and I was fortunate enough to have my first experience related to 69 (a euphemism for sexual intercourse). That experience was more of a spiritual connection for me. Of course, I also have my own requirements for women: neat, generous, polite, and good at communication. Although I'm not yet 30, I really feel I've passed the age of jumping straight into things. Perhaps spiritual communication is the most important thing.
Everyone needs a way to release their inner feelings. My life no longer has a woman of my own, so I've started to appreciate women:
smiling foolishly at a beautiful woman on the street, assuring her I have no ill intentions;
joking with a female colleague at work, assuring her I have no ulterior motives;
accidentally touching a girl on the subway, assuring her I didn't intentionally touch her skin;
and so on. Women are a beautiful sight: the innocence of youth, the innocent purity, the shy beauty of a flower, the allure of maturity, the grace of a woman past her prime, the kindness of an old woman. Women are a gift from heaven to men and to the world; they balance the world and fill it with warmth.
Writing this reminds me of that girl named "Second Uncle." How are you? Here, Second Uncle apologizes to you. I hurt you. I don't expect your forgiveness; you'll understand when you grow up. I hope we'll have a chance to meet again.
A word of advice to all men: cherish the woman you love. She dares to entrust her life to you; give her the love she deserves, not arguments, sadness, or disappointment.
I've written a lot of rambling stuff, without any particular theme or thought. It's more like a complaint, a recollection, a confession, and a way to console myself for a past experience.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/95937.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=95937&aspx=1

Previous Page : My Wife's Male Best Friend Continued 1

Next Page : Am I wrong in my thinking?

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

[Beijing] Reflections after a year and a half in the park (purely emotional, not passionate)

comment Open a new window to view comments