Finally Found You - ◆No Improvement

After finishing their coffee, the two continued walking towards the hotel.
"May I hold your hand?" Zhao Ye turned his head slightly to look at her and asked. No matter what he did, he always respected her and would never make her feel uncomfortable.
She had hugged me earlier, so holding hands is probably acceptable.
Zheng Jiaqi remained silent, her fingertips nervously clenching and fiddling with the seam of her trousers. Suddenly, her hand was touched by a warm source of heat. She instinctively flinched and tried to dodge. The source of heat seemed to sense her fear, touching her briefly without making any further move, waiting for her reaction.
Once she stopped reacting excessively, the warmth touched her more intensely, until it enveloped her small hands.
"Your hands are cold, let me warm them for you."
"Why are your hands so cold? Put them in here to warm them up." Suddenly, this sentence popped into her mind. It seemed to be what Meng Can had said to her last winter when they were back in their hometown.
Fearing she would be further traumatized, Zhao Ye wouldn't let her see any news from China. She didn't know the current situation in the country, nor did she know Meng Can's attitude towards her. Perhaps he no longer wanted her; otherwise, he wouldn't have stopped contacting her. With all her shame exposed to the world, what right did she have to deserve anyone's love? She was the most despicable person in the world!
Extremely sensitive and fragile, she often inexplicably negates herself, sometimes even because of...
Even a single word from him could set her on a wild daydream, leading her to contemplate suicide.
Suddenly, her throat tightened, tears welled up in her eyes, her nose stung, and she abruptly pulled her hand back, then ran away crying.
This wasn't the first time she'd cried for no apparent reason. Just a simple offer to warm her hands would set her into tears again. Anyone who isn't extremely patient simply couldn't stand her tendency to cry at the drop of a hat.
Zhao Ye chased after her and hurriedly asked what happened, but she just shook her head and cried, refusing to say anything. So Zhao Ye didn't ask any more questions and took her back to the hotel.
After comforting her for a long time, watching her take her medicine, and seeing her fall asleep, Zhao Ye returned to his room. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he couldn't stop thinking about how she had been willing to sacrifice herself for him in the coffee shop earlier, which touched him deeply.
Even if she never gets better and stays like this forever, he won't mind at all. He'd rather spend his whole life coaxing her. He took out his medicine, put it in his mouth, sipped water, his Adam's apple bobbed, and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. For the first time, he felt motivated to take his medicine.
For her sake, he must take care of his health and live a good life!
They spent nearly three months traveling in Europe, but Zheng Jiaqi's condition did not improve much. She remained aloof and indifferent, seemingly without desires. She mostly sat on the balcony in a daze, following Zhao Ye's instructions to do whatever he wanted without any opinions of her own, like a puppet on a string.
One day, while the two of them were having dinner at a restaurant, Zhao Ye went to the restroom and left his phone on the table. Suddenly, the phone started vibrating, and she saw the caller ID on the screen. Her pupils dilated and her heart clenched.
It's him!
Her phone kept vibrating, and Zhao Ye still hadn't returned. After hesitating for a long time, she finally picked up the phone and pressed the answer button, "Hello..."
It had been almost half a year since Meng Can had seen her or heard her voice. This long-lost voice brought a ray of light to his heart, which had been dark for so long. Her voice was like heavenly music, turning into a sweet spring to relieve his bitterness.
After a long silence, Meng Can suppressed his longing and casually asked, "How was it? Did you have fun?"
Actually, he had so much to say to her. He wanted to ask if she was feeling any better, and if she had been thinking about him all this time. He really missed her. For her sake, he was willing to put aside his pride and ask his rival for some photos, just to see what she looked like now, even if it was just through the photos.
But all the words he was about to say were swallowed back down his throat, simply because Zhao Ye had once said that mentioning the past in front of her would upset her, and that her condition was fluctuating, so he should not contact her or appear in front of her.
He knew Zhao Ye's words were exaggerated, and he also knew Zhao Ye's purpose. The reason he hadn't come to find her was because he was afraid that what Zhao Ye said was true, and his sudden appearance would upset her, especially since she had been so resistant to him that day. He didn't dare gamble with her life and health!
On the other end of the phone, Zheng Jiaqi felt the same way. The long-lost voice brought out all her emotions: her incomprehension, disappointment, and longing for him. But what she thought about most was the exposure of her nude photos. She had been seen naked by everyone, and he must be disgusted by her! He was so bothered even when Zhao Ye touched her hand. He definitely couldn't accept her being made public. How could she face him? She resented him even more for not keeping those photos safe. Instantly, all her emotions were out of control again!
And just like that, without warning, she burst into tears in public again, one hand tightly covering her mouth, tears streaming down her face. Her phone slipped from her other hand and fell to the ground with a "thud." The person on the other end of the line was still talking, "Hello, hello, Zheng Jiaqi, what's wrong? Talk to me!"
When Zhao Ye came out of the restroom, he saw her curled up on the booth sofa, covering her face and crying. Some customers at the next table were whispering among themselves.
He rushed over to check on her. She was curled up on the sofa in the booth, hugging her legs and sobbing softly. Her condition fluctuated.
Zhao Ye had always thought that her condition had improved recently, and that she hadn't had such a big emotional fluctuation in a long time. He never expected that she would still be like this.
He called Dr. Sharon to explain the situation, and Dr. Sharon asked him to bring her back so she could check on her.
The next day, Zhao Ye booked a plane ticket back to the United States.
Later, when he found out why Zheng Jiaqi had suddenly changed again, he called Meng Can back immediately, his tone full of reproach, "Do you know that because of your phone call, her illness has relapsed, and all the counseling has been in vain!" Why is he always so persistent!
"How is she now?" Meng Can had heard her crying from the phone call that he hadn't hung up that day. She really hated herself and was so afraid of even hearing her own voice.
"What else can we do? We have to start all over again! If you don't want her to become a real mental patient, then don't bother her!" With that, Zhao Ye hung up the phone.
He was a young man who didn't know how to hide his emotions and even seemed to be shirking responsibility. He had a complex mix of feelings for this man, mostly hatred, and this hatred stemmed largely from Zheng Jiaqi's feelings for him.
After returning to the United States, Zheng Jiaqi seemed to have returned to her previous state. She suffered from insomnia every night and locked herself in her room during the day. At first, she would just cry silently. Later, she forced herself to change her lifestyle. She would either listen to extremely sad music for a long time or study desperately. She wanted to find things to do so that she would not have any extra thoughts to think about those things. She also wanted to make herself look more normal so that Zhao Ye would not worry about her anymore.
However, it is precisely this series of behaviors that reveals her abnormality, which is a characteristic of patients with severe depression. Her bipolar disorder has not improved at all.

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Finally Found You - ◆No Improvement

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