My Men - Old Li

After writing the title, I realized I'm already on the seventh list. It's a bit alarming not to notice until I count. Since breaking up with that lecherous guy, I haven't dated anyone for almost a year, not counting my relationship with Da Liu. During this time, I've had some time to reflect. Having dated so many men, yet none of them leading to marriage, there are certainly various reasons, but I think I need to reflect on myself. I've shared these thoughts with my online friend H, and his response was: "I feel you're more suited to be a lover than a wife." When I pressed him for a reason, he couldn't give a specific explanation, only saying it was a feeling. I think he's just an online friend, hasn't met me in real life, and doesn't really know me, so he can't give a concrete reason.

Later, I slowly realized that besides my own willfulness and bad temper, easily sleeping with men is probably a major reason. Men certainly don't want their wives to be so frivolous, and perhaps it's this behavior that makes others treat me like a plaything. Maybe my ex-boyfriends were taking advantage of me while secretly looking down on me. This is a truth that's easy to understand with a little thought, but I hadn't considered it before.

But since I'd already thought of it, I figured I had to make some changes, otherwise in a few years I wouldn't even be available to anyone, even if I paid them. So I secretly resolved that any boyfriend I dated next wouldn't get away with it so easily. Old Li was the first "victim" of this resolution. He was introduced to me by a helpful older woman at my workplace. He was two years older than me and also worked for a state-owned enterprise.

According to the custom in state-owned enterprises, familiar colleagues usually address each other using "old" or "young" followed by their surname to show intimacy. So after we got to know each other, I started calling him Old Li, and he seemed to enjoy it, saying that only old married couples call each other that.

Old Li was recruited to the state-owned enterprise after graduating from university, and after starting work, he pursued a part-time master's degree. People with such high levels of education are key personnel to be cultivated in state-owned enterprises, so he always worked in the office and naturally kept himself clean-cut, dressed very respectably every day. Plus, he wore glasses because he was nearsighted, which made him look very refined. However, someone who only knows how to study won't survive in a government office. Old Li wasn't the kind of person who became dull from studying too much. His success at work, besides his academic background, also stemmed from his excellent interpersonal skills. Judging from his behavior during our first meeting, he probably had girlfriends before, or he was simply talented; he showed no nervousness whatsoever, talking fluently and citing numerous examples. Unfortunately, my knowledge wasn't as profound, and I couldn't join the conversation. However, he quickly noticed this and immediately changed the subject. My first impression of him was quite good. My intentionally ladylike image probably pleased him as well. We hit it off, exchanged phone numbers, and met up every few days.

After dating Old Li for about two months, I had gotten to know him better. He seemed good in many ways, had no bad habits, and was ambitious. I decided to cherish this relationship and introduced him to my parents early on. My parents liked him very much and often invited him to their home for meals. This time, I learned from my previous mistakes and remained very reserved. Old Li is a rather traditional man, so for the first few months, our most intimate act was only kissing. I genuinely wanted to marry someone and was serious about Old Li, so I didn't contact Da Liu again. As a result, these past few months left me incredibly frustrated, but for the sake of long-term happiness, I had to grit my teeth and endure it. Yet, I secretly resented Old Li's lack of romantic understanding. I could tell he wasn't averse to sex, but his self-control was just too good. Several times he was already unable to resist, yet he managed to hold back, leaving me feeling like I was suspended in mid-air, which was incredibly uncomfortable. I both loved and hated his behavior, and could only hope he would eventually confess.

It wasn't until six months later, during our National Day holiday trip, that he finally made his move. Our first time sleeping together wasn't successful either. We both admitted to having past sexual experiences, but I was afraid he would be disgusted by my lack of detail, so I didn't ask too many questions about his past. In my opinion, even if he wasn't very experienced, he wouldn't be lacking in experience. But after we actually slept together, I discovered that his experience was exactly as he claimed—only a few times with one woman.

After arriving at our destination, we went to find a hotel. Old Li insisted on getting two rooms, and I couldn't object. Plus, we were tired from the journey, so we rested early the first night without any problems. The next day, after dinner, he came to my room and had me sit on his lap. While we chatted about our day's sightseeing, he gently stroked my thigh. But I wondered if he would give up halfway through this time too. Perhaps being in a foreign land brought us closer, or perhaps he felt the time was right. He seemed to have made up his mind and said his legs were numb, suggesting we sit on the bed. Hearing this excuse, I almost burst out laughing. I really didn't know how he came up with that. But I didn't dare laugh out loud, so I forced myself to nod shyly, and he pulled me to sit on the bed.

Nestled against him, the atmosphere gradually became ambiguous. If Old Li were bold enough to push me onto the bed, he would be punished. But he simply held me, seemingly in no hurry. I had decided to act like a lady, but I honestly didn't know what a lady should be like at this moment, so I buried my head in his chest, resigned to whatever happened. I decided to remain calm and wait for the right moment.

After dinner, back in the room, I changed into loose clothes. Since I didn't plan to go out again, I didn't wear a bra. After holding me for a while, Old Li started groping me. He quickly noticed, but didn't say anything. However, I could feel his excitement; his grip on my breasts tightened, making it hurt a little. Afraid of affecting his mood, I endured it without making a sound. Fortunately, he then became gentle, and soon I was panting heavily. These sensual breaths aroused Old Li as well. He carried me slowly to the bed, very carefully, as if afraid I would suddenly wake up and run away.

The two of us finally lay on the bed. He was no longer satisfied with just touching me through my clothes; he reached inside and played with my nipples. This direct stimulation made my body involuntarily writhe, arousing his interest as well. He rolled over and pinned me beneath him. With a soft gasp, my clothes were lifted, revealing my breasts to him. Speaking of my breasts, they weren't very large; a man with large hands could almost grasp them with one. Perhaps because they had been played with so often, they had lost their former elasticity, appearing even flatter when I lay down. The dark red nipples stood out against the areolas, prompting Old Li to immediately lean down and suckle them. With him doing this, my already wet vulva became even more uncontrollable. I wanted to cry out but hesitated, so I had to hold back.

"Let me see your genitals," he finally stopped and whispered in my ear. He had touched my genitals quite often when we were intimate before, but because of his restraint and my feigned modesty, I had never let him see them. Now that he's making this request, he's definitely trying to gradually strip me naked so his penis will be more easily punished. I was secretly hoping he'd penetrate me, but thinking about my already darkened labia, I was afraid he'd be disgusted if he saw them. Although I'd read many articles online saying that darkening of the vulva isn't directly related to the amount of sex, many others believed it was, and I think most people believed the latter. Thinking about this, I didn't respond. Perhaps thinking I was unwilling or too shy to speak, Lao Li didn't say much, but kissed my lips, and soon our tongues intertwined, our saliva connected.

He must have been unwilling to give up, because soon he started kissing me while trying to pull down my pants. But this position was really difficult; it took a lot of effort to get them down a little. I was enjoying the kiss, so I naturally lifted my lower body to cooperate. This small action encouraged him greatly; he immediately got up, stood on the ground, grabbed my pants leg, and pulled them off with a tug, then impatiently pulled off my underwear as well. I remained steadfast in my stance, simply covering my eyes with my arm and feigning shyness. I could only feel his hand stroking my thigh, and after a while, he gently parted my legs slightly, probably wanting a better view. But after a long while, he didn't seem to do anything else, merely watching, occasionally I could feel his warm breath. Unable to bear being left hanging any longer, I sat up, our eyes meeting. This startled him, and he seemed somewhat taken aback. After a moment of hesitation, he quickly leaned down and kissed me again.

We kissed, our emotions stirred again. As he kneaded my vulva, I gradually couldn't help but moan, though I dared not cry out. I simply opened my legs, hoping he would enter me soon. Old Li finally couldn't resist any longer. He released me and eagerly pulled down his pants. I pretended not to want to look, covering my eyes with my hands, but I was also very curious about what his manhood looked like, so I secretly peeked through my fingers. I saw him taking off his underwear, his penis swaying with his movements. This long-lost sight immediately made me breathless.

I stopped covering my eyes and stared at him with hazy eyes. He was ready, but when he saw me looking at him, he seemed a little nervous and immediately looked away, only looking at my body. My shirt was lifted, revealing my breasts, my slender waist, and my snow-white thighs, outlining a beautiful curve. It must be very tempting. Old Li gently spread my legs, revealing my wet vulva. He tentatively rubbed his penis against it, then glanced at me. Seeing that I didn't object, he thrust in. It wasn't very deep, but it felt good, as I hadn't had a man's penis in a long time, and I couldn't help but moan softly. But as his penis slowly went all the way in, he suddenly began thrusting violently. I screamed, yelling loudly along with his movements. After a while, I remembered I shouldn't act too lewdly, so I covered my mouth with my hand, trying not to scream too loudly.

I had to hold back my noise, so naturally, I couldn't get into the mood as quickly. But he seemed to be pounding garlic, pushing hard inside. Before long, he couldn't hold on any longer, pulling his penis out and stopping, seemingly ejaculating on the sheets. Although I was a little disappointed, I was quite knowledgeable about men by then, so I didn't think he was useless. After a long time without sex, I could understand why he ejaculated quickly on his first time. So I took the initiative to hug and kiss him, just wanting him to rest before doing it again. But whether he was really tired or what, his penis couldn't get hard, it was always half-erect. I had no choice but to give up, and we slowly fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, we did it again. He seemed unwilling to give up, this time it lasted much longer, but he still seemed very inexperienced. Although I still didn't climax, I was in a good mood. Judging from his expression, he probably just lacked experience and would get better with more practice. The biggest surprise was that he encouraged me to moan, finally I didn't have to deliberately hold back.

Later, after returning home, I soon suggested moving in with Lao Li. Perhaps knowing I had already slept with him, my parents didn't object too much and agreed after a few days. We started living together.

Just as I expected, his sexual skills became more and more proficient, and I often reached orgasm. With his encouragement, I no longer needed to pretend in bed, and everything seemed to be going smoothly.

In fairy tales, princes and princesses live carefree forever, but life isn't a fairy tale. Living together day and night, differences in habits and conflicting views are inevitable, and perhaps there are other reasons as well. In short, after a few months, something felt off between us. Perhaps the novelty had worn off, leading to less tolerance, and even trivial matters easily escalated into arguments. I didn't know what to do.

Upon reflection, the disagreements weren't particularly significant, yet they escalated. It seems maintaining a romantic relationship is easy, but maintaining a marital relationship is difficult. Finally, after a year and eight months, we broke up.

This was arguably the most serious relationship I'd ever had, and the failure was a huge blow; it took me a long time to recover.

But life goes on, and as my emotions calmed down, I came to terms with it. These things depend on fate; if we weren't compatible, it was better to end it sooner rather than later, to avoid further suffering.

[The End]

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