Five jokes about a careless professor, etc.

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-22

That won't do.
A visitor to the mental hospital saw a patient hanging from a beam, emitting
strange "ha ha" laughter. Another patient asked, "Why is he doing that?" "He thinks he's a chandelier." "Ugh, your hospital is really irresponsible. Why didn't you remind him to come down?" "How could that be? If he came down, without the chandelier, wouldn't it be pitch black all around?" (A separate anecdote follows:)
A
tavern manager was at his wits' end because business was bad. One day, he happened to go to a bookstore to buy books and saw a large banner on the wall: "Finding readers for good books, finding good books for readers." His eyes lit up, and he immediately ran home, had someone write a large banner, and pasted it on the front wall of the tavern. The next day, a crowd gathered outside the shop, pointing and gesturing. The banner read: "For good wine, find a drunkard; for a drunkard, find good wine."
Before the war began
, a man rushed into the restaurant and ordered the waiter, "Before the war starts, bring me a bowl of soup!"
The waiter was startled and wanted to ask him something, but seeing his anxious expression, he could only hurriedly bring the soup as well. "Quick! Before the war starts, bring me a mixed salad, fish fillets, and borscht!"
the man said urgently again. The surprised waiter also brought the dishes at a rapid pace. After the man finished eating, he said to the waiter, "The great war is about to break out! Quickly go and get me a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes, let me tell you all about it!" The waiter quickly brought the coffee and cigarettes, then sat down excitedly, waiting for the latest news. The man leisurely exhaled a smoke ring, then extinguished it with his finger, saying, "The great war has broken out! Look, I don't have any money to pay the bill!"
Later,
a Mongolian woman went to a department store in the city center to buy boots. She looked at the colors and styles, then at the sheen, carefully selecting before finally deciding: "Salesperson, please give me the boots I looked at first." "Which pair? The red ones?" "I saw them even earlier than the red ones!" "The yellow ones?" "No, even earlier!" "Oh, you want the brown embroidered ones?" Seeing the woman nod, the salesperson apologized, "They were bought by a customer who arrived two hours after you." The
Careless Professor
Professor Fielding was always careless. His wife asked him to throw a bag of trash in the bin outside, but he absentmindedly carried it onto the subway, then to the lab, and finally home. His
wife was astonished: "What are you carrying?" Fielding said, "Oh dear, I forgot to throw away the trash."

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Five jokes about a careless professor, etc.

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