Joke selection for December 4th

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1
My younger sister got a boyfriend. Yesterday, my mom asked her, "Why does he like you?"
My sister said, "He thinks I'm pretty and gentle."
Mom asked again, "Then why do you like him?"
My sister said, "I just like that he thinks I'm pretty and gentle."
Comment: Is it only him who thinks you're pretty and gentle?
2
During a speech at an international dietetics conference, a renowned nutritionist discussed unhealthy eating habits, stating: "There is a type of food that is extremely dangerous and should absolutely not be consumed. Eating it causes pain, sorrow, and disease. Unfortunately, many people still eat it." He then asked the audience: "Can anyone tell me what this dangerous food is?"
A man stood up and said: It's a wedding cake!
Comment: Correct. It is indeed extremely dangerous, yet some people are still consuming it.
3
"Mom, I don't want to get married anymore. That person is an atheist. He doesn't believe in God, nor in heaven or hell."
"Don't worry, my dear. Once he's married, he'll immediately know that hell exists."
Comment: This person is a woman, right? It seems her mother has successfully sent someone to hell.
4
Daughter: Mom, I have a bank now.
Mother: Where did this bank come from?
Daughter: That means I have a boyfriend.
Mother: You can't just spend the money in the bank like that. When it's due, you'll have to pay it back with interest.
Daughter: When is it due?
Mother: After getting married.
Comment: How will they pay it back after marriage? Banks should be more strict with transactions after marriage.
5
A famous actor was chatting with a girl.
"Don't you recognize me?" the actor asked. The girl shook her head.
"People who frequent the cinema know me."
The girl's eyes lit up. "Where do you usually sit?"
Comment: ... He can only sit opposite everyone, right on the screen.
6
On a sweltering summer day, the squad leader led a group of new recruits in bayonet training. The soldiers were all listless.
The squad leader had no choice but to order a halt and address the soldiers: "Listen up, these scarecrows are your real enemies. They burned down your houses, killed your parents, kidnapped your sisters, stole your money, and drank all the wine in your homes!"
No sooner had the squad leader finished speaking than a soldier, rifle in hand, glaring with bloodshot eyes, shouted at the squad leader, "Squad leader, tell me who drank all our wine?"
Comment: ... It seems that drinking his wine was the real offense against him.
7
In college, we played a card game called "80 Points to Level Up" in the afternoon. Four guys were rude and liked to swear. One of them yelled at a classmate: "I'm your grandpa!" A little while later, he yelled again: "I'll fuck your grandpa."
Comment: There's nothing I can do; without a girlfriend, I have to rely on myself.
8
We recently reviewed cadres, and your name is on the list. The general feedback on you is very positive. Many female colleagues say you are highly competent and passionate, and they especially hope you will be promoted and stay in a higher position for a longer period.
Comment: Well, that depends on the figure and appearance of the female comrade I'm working with.
9
There was a coffin shop by the roadside that played the same song every day. One day, you couldn't resist going in and asking the owner, "What song is that?" The owner replied, "Jacky Cheung's 'Someday I'll Wait for You'..."
Comment: I must say, the song the boss chose was really appropriate.
10
Me: "Boss, give me a bowl of green pepper and shredded pork rice noodles, extra green peppers, extra shredded pork, and extra rice noodles." Boss: "Isn't that two bowls already..."

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Joke selection for December 4th

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