Stories of Beasts

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-30

1. One day, Xiaoming drove his tortoise home. They got stuck in traffic. The tortoise got impatient, took the keys, got out of the car, and walked back. Some time later, Xiaoming heard someone knocking on the car door. He opened it and saw the tortoise panting, "Damn it! I gave you the wrong keys! I can't open the door! *_*!"
Comment: Turtles and rabbits are both beasts.
2. A panda encountered a kangaroo storming out of a supermarket and asked, "What's wrong? Why are you so angry?" The kangaroo, panting, replied, "That bastard wouldn't let me in! He made me check my bag first!"
Comment: Pandas and turtles are the same.
3. A transfer student joined the class. She introduced herself, saying, "I may not be the smartest, I may not be the most beautiful, I may not be the most outstanding—I may not be the most humorous." Just as the classmates were praising her humility, she suddenly said, "Hello everyone, my name is Wei Bihui."
Comment: There are also those who say "shit smells so good".
4. In junior high, two classmates (desks) somehow started arguing. One of them called the other an idiot! The other immediately got angry and retorted, "Your deskmate is the idiot!" A group of classmates nearby were stunned for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.
Comment: What a slip of the tongue!
5. Two ants were walking along the road when they suddenly saw a very large pear. -- Guess the names of n countries. One ant said, "Hey, a big pear!" (Italy); the other ant said, "Oh, a big pear!" (Australia). Hehe, let's carry it! (Spain); let's take it home! (Bulgaria); let's eat the pear! (Kenya); the pear isn't tender! (Lebanon).
Comment: These two guys are from the South.
6. A man went to a car dealership and slammed 2,000 yuan on the table, saying, "Give me a Santana." The salesperson was shocked: "You don't have enough money!" The man was puzzled: "Doesn't it say 'Santana 2000' outside?" The salesperson: "Oh----then turn right when you go out, that company's Mercedes is only 600!"
Comment: Who can blame us for being good at Chinese?

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