50 absolutely hilarious one-line jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

001◎A pig is an animal, but it is also a synonym for fat people!
002◎ I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said, "The Japanese also have the character for 'person' in their name," and she finally agreed that whales are not fish.
003◎A man's knees are said to be worth gold, but I cut off my entire leg and didn't find a single piece of copper!
004◎ In spring I bury corn in the ground, and in autumn I will harvest a lot of corn. In spring I bury my wife in the ground, and in autumn I will… be shot!
005◎If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you!
006◎Though you've frequented brothels, you're still young; please use Hui Ren Kidney Tonic.
007◎A single conversation with you is worth ten books!
008◎ At 0 years old, you make your debut; at 10, you strive for excellence every day. At 20, you have lofty ideals; at 30, you work hard. At 40, you're basically settled; at 50, you're popular everywhere. At 60, you play mahjong; at 70, you stroll around leisurely. At 80, you chat about everyday life; at 90, you're hanging on the wall!
009◎Without clothes on, I am a beast; with clothes on, I am a beast in human clothing!
010◎ Abbess, please give in to this old monk! …A long, long time later… Abbess, please spare this old monk!
011◎“Honey, I…I’m pregnant…three months along, but don’t worry, it’s not yours, you don’t have to take responsibility…”
012◎We have a small disagreement: she wants me to turn dirt into gold, while I want her to treat gold like dirt.
013◎ Ten years of studying Chinese is not as good as half a year of chatting on QQ.
014◎I was too lazy to get out of bed this morning, so I took out six coins from my pocket: if all six land heads, I'll go to class! After thinking about it for a long time, I decided against it and decided not to take the risk... 015◎I spent 80,000 yuan on a Western Zhou Dynasty pottery jar. Yesterday, I took it to an appraisal program, and the expert solemnly said, "This isn't from the Western Zhou Dynasty at all! It's from last week!"
016◎ I can tolerate a fake figure, a fake face, fake breasts, and a fake butt!!! But I absolutely cannot tolerate fake money!!!
017◎A gentleman will feign death for a true friend, and a woman will get plastic surgery for a man she loves.
018◎When I grow up, I want to marry Tang Sanzang. If I can play with him, I'll play with him; if I can't, I'll eat him.
019◎A mountain cannot hold two tigers, unless one is male and the other female.
020◎ Don't wait until everyone says you're ugly to realize you really are ugly.
021◎If I could sell my friends, and each one was worth five dollars, I could make a small fortune.
022◎Personal Ad: Requirements are as follows: a. Alive, b. Female.
023◎Give me a little sunshine and I'll rot.
024◎ You need to eat a little bit to have the energy to lose weight.
025◎ Rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye, to the Bridge of Helplessness.
026◎Fate deals the cards, but we play them!
027◎Q: What do you like about me? A: I like it when you're far away from me!
028◎Come back soon, I can't fool everyone by myself!
029◎Life is like Song Zude's mouth, you never know who will be the next unlucky one~~~030◎If you fall down, get up and cry again~~~031◎In this world, besides teeth, the hardest thing to get rid of is love.
032◎ A dinosaur went to the restroom while passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "Waaaah, I'm finally not worried about not getting married in this lifetime..."
033◎Being born is easy. Living is easy. But living life is not easy.
034◎My cousin, over forty years old. He initially studied literature, but failed the imperial examinations for three consecutive years. He then took up martial arts, but during training, he fired an arrow that hit the drummer, who was then expelled. He then switched to medicine, wrote a prescription, took it, and died.
035◎How much sorrow can one have? It's like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel... 036◎Life is finite, but eating is infinite~~~ 037◎There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!
038◎ When we were young, we often made faces at ourselves in the mirror; when we get old, the mirror gets its revenge.
039◎Are you blind? Can't you see such a big shield? Why do you have to throw stones at my head!
040◎ When problems arise, first look for the cause within yourself; don't blame the Earth's gravity just because you're constipated.
041◎ Making decisions on a whim, making promises on a whim, and then walking away on a whim.
042◎ We're moving too fast; our souls can't keep up...
043◎Don't stoop to the level of earthlings~~~
044◎ A girl only needs one successful time to go from virgin to woman, while a boy needs repeated trials to go from virgin to man!
045◎When you're out in the game, you'll eventually have to change wives!
046◎When I was little, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up, but when I grew up, I realized that the whole world couldn't save me... 047◎The rich are all bosses! But those who owe money and don't pay it back are even more so!
048◎Even if I were a toad, I would never marry a female toad.
049◎Why sleep so much before death, when you'll have plenty of time to sleep after you die...
050◎A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef isn't a good driver.

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50 absolutely hilarious one-line jokes

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