Humor and comedy 11271

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

1. The girl walked up to the goldfish scooping stall and said, "Let's see how it goes. If you catch a goldfish on your first try, I'll consider being your girlfriend."
The shopkeeper took the boy's ten yuan and pulled out a stainless steel strainer used for hot pot from behind his back: "I don't have any change, you can use this to scoop it out."
2. A man and his friend went to karaoke and hired a prostitute. When it came time to pay, they discovered they only had a bank card and no cash. The waiter said, "You can pay by card..."
My friend said: "This card is in my wife's name. If I use it and receive a text message from your karaoke bar, she'll kill me..."
The waiter said, "It's okay, we can help you pay for it at the restaurant..." The man was very happy to hear that, and then he paid... But as soon as he entered the house, his wife slapped him twice and showed him the text message on her phone: Yang Guofu Malatang, 8580 yuan... Damn, she's taken over the restaurant?
3. Old Wang said his ultimate goal in life was to be able to buy things without looking at the price. Through ten years of unremitting efforts, he finally achieved it—he went blind.
4. In junior high, there was a sentence-writing exercise. The original sentence was something like, "The Great Wall is my upright spine." A classmate wrote, "The Turpan Basin is my sunken belly button..."
5. a: Have you bought your train ticket home yet?
b: I bought it.
A: Soft sleeper, hard sleeper? Soft seat?
A: Actually, hard seats aren't bad!
b: Hard standby...

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