This is hilarious! Hahaha, 18+

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-08

1. A godfather and a godfather are two different things, falling in love with him and falling in love with him are two different things, looking scary and looking scary are two different things, a younger sister and a younger sister are two different things, getting her and getting her butt are two different things, not interrupting and not interrupting are two different things. These Chinese characters are truly profound...

2. A 100-year-old prostitute had sex with a client who only had one testicle. Due to excessive force, the prostitute died. After the police finished their investigation, they remarked with emotion: This is a bloody lesson—a century-old prostitute, ruined by one testicle!

3. I've been pondering a question: Online banking is called "wangyin" (网银), so what is mobile banking called? Can someone tell me?

4. The difference between a parachute and a condom! 1. Teacher: What's the difference between a parachute and a condom? Xiaoming: If a parachute breaks, one person is lost; if a condom breaks, more people are lost. General asks his soldiers: What's the difference between a parachute and a condom? Battalion Commander: Using a parachute is fighting the enemy; using a condom is fighting your own people. Company Commander: The umbrella protects the whole, the cover protects the part! Female cipher officer: If the umbrella breaks, one person is lost; if the cover breaks, one person is gained! Female medic: The umbrella, "if it fails, it becomes a ghost," while the cover, "if it fails, it becomes a person!"

5. A man and a woman drifted to a deserted island. They had run out of food and were starving. The man suddenly had a whimsical idea and said to the woman, "Let's cut off my penis and eat it together." The woman went over and touched her penis. The man said, "At this point, you still want to have sex?" The woman replied, "Don't misunderstand, I just want to make it bigger so there's more meat."

6. After a passionate night, I woke up feeling great and hugged my girlfriend, saying, "Darling, we'll never be apart, we'll be together forever." Just then, my roommate on the lower bunk objected: "We agreed to only borrow it for one night. You can buy your own when you get your paycheck at the end of the month."

7. Late at night, Xiaoli was walking home from a karaoke bar when she encountered a few thugs in an alley: "Hey little girl, you're pretty good-looking, want to have some fun with us?" Xiaoli was unwilling but didn't dare say anything, so she turned around, leaned against the wall, and said to them with her back to them, "Hurry up and finish." A few seconds later, a voice came from behind her: "We're hidden, come find us!"

8. Do you know what shredded potatoes are? It's just potatoes cut into strips. Do you know what a loser is? Hahahaha.

9. Question: If a woman is sand, how can you hold her firmly without letting her slip through your fingers? Answer: Get it wet.

10. In class, the teacher was teaching everyone to recognize characters. When he got to the character for "man," he said: "The top part is 'field,' and the bottom part is 'strength.'" Xiaoming interrupted, "If there's no strength at the bottom, is he still a man...?"

11. "Come on, buddy, I'll take you to a place where girls don't wear bras." "Where is it? Take me there quickly!" "Not far, it's in the kindergarten next door."

12. Who is the most tragic man in the world? A: He's the cook in the artillery company. He wears a green hat, carries the blame, and can only watch others fire the cannons.

13. Wife asks: I heard you hired a new secretary. What does she look like? Husband: Average looks. Wife: And her figure? Husband: Just so-so. Wife: And her clothes? Husband: Pretty quick.

14. A beautiful female colleague at the company. The boss flirts with her: Guess what I'm talking about: There's a thief in a grassy hut, all alone with two hammers. The beauty replies: There's a ghost in a ravine, disheveled and with a mouth.

15. Why are so many big stars and directors embroiled in prostitution scandals lately? Answer: Those who achieve great things don't concern themselves with trifles (prostitutes).

16. Being too handsome isn't good either. As soon as you get on the bus, the female ticket seller will have her eye on you, making it difficult to avoid paying the fare.

17. Are dumplings male or female? Answer: Male! Why? Because it has a "foreskin"

18. There was a mother and son on the bus. The five-year-old son kept saying he needed to pee.
The mother said: "Don't make a fuss, we're almost there, just hold it in!" After a few stops, the son kept saying he needed to pee again, and she couldn't hold it in any longer.
The son said: "I can't hold it anymore, can I pee in a corner?" The mother said: "Are you trying to kill me? So unruly!!" Saying that, she hit her son. The people on the bus couldn't help but feel sorry for the child. He was young, and of course he couldn't hold it in for too long when he needed to pee.
The son said: "Mom, I really can't hold it anymore, otherwise you can open your mouth and let me pee in your mouth."
The mother said: "How can you do that?"
The son said: "Why can Dad do it, but I can't?"

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