12 classic dirty jokes

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1. A father and son were taking a bath. The son noticed that his father's penis was bigger than his own. The father said, "Yours is a small tricycle, mine is a big Mercedes." The mother replied, "A Mercedes? It stalls as soon as it hits the road." The father said, "That's on the old roads. On the new roads, it's amazing."

2. Question: Who is the most miserable man in the world? Answer: The cook in the artillery company. He wears a green hat, carries the blame, and can only watch others fire the cannons.

3. An old farmer bought aphrodisiacs. Afraid that the drug wouldn't be strong enough, he fed it to his rooster first. After taking the drug, the rooster raped all the hens in the village and then flew to the tallest tree in the village. The old farmer asked the rooster what he was doing. The rooster said, "Don't fucking bother me. I'm waiting to play with an eagle."

4. An elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the misty peak and exclaimed, "Wow, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!"

5. A new recruit was always late getting up and was scolded. So he bought dye and painted himself to look like camouflage. At midnight, the bugle sounded, and he was the first to rush out of the barracks. The officer praised him: "Very good! You're dressed very neatly, but next time, remember, the grenades should be hung at the back."

6. Xiao Li saw a will-o'-the-wisp while using the toilet at night and was terrified, so he threw a brick at it. Then a voice came from behind: "Who did I offend by taking a dump?"

Within the time it takes to smoke a pipe, he was hit three times by the brick. 7. A young couple was arguing and threw a pillow from upstairs. A beggar happened to be passing by and was delighted. A moment later, a quilt flew down, and the beggar was overjoyed. So, wiping away tears, he shouted upstairs: "Brother, please be kind and throw that woman down too!"

8. "Brother, stop touching her! You've touched her top and bottom, you've rubbed all the hair off! This skin is so tender, you've made it all wet! How am I supposed to sell them now? These peaches are fresh, if you don't want to buy them, that's fine!"

9. A female reporter asked a farmer about the origin of mad cow disease. The farmer said, "I milk her ten times a day, but the cows can only mate once a year." The reporter was puzzled; the owner shouted: "I rub your breasts every day, and have sex with you only once a year, how can you not go crazy?"

10. A teacher was teaching literacy in a rural area. He asked a peasant woman to recognize the characters for "quilt." The woman couldn't remember. The teacher prompted: "What's on you when you sleep?" The woman said, "My husband." The teacher was both amused and exasperated: "And when I'm not here?" The woman replied: "The village head."

11. A row of prostitutes were waiting for customers on the street. An octogenarian woman asked curiously: "What are you waiting for?" The prostitute replied irritably: "Waiting for lollipops!" The old woman joined the line to wait for candy and was arrested. The police asked the old woman: "You don't even have any teeth, can you still do it?" The old woman laughed and said: "I can lick.

" 12. A newlywed scholar, gazing at his naked wife, was inspired to write a poem: "Two small peaks on the plain, a small pit below the mountain, spring water gushing daily, green grass all year round." His father, overhearing from next door, exclaimed: "Son, this is truly a blessed place. I'll be buried here when I die."

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12 classic dirty jokes

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