Eagles and airplanes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-12

1. A woman was giving birth. The doctor said they could transfer the pain to the baby's father through a device. Her husband said, "Let me transfer 20% first." After the connection was established, he felt no pain at all. So they increased it to 50%, and he still felt no pain! 100%, and still no pain. Later, he heard that Wang Er next door had died from the pain.
2. A guy was playing golf and hit his ball into a pasture. He went to look for it and saw a cow wagging its tail in distress. He lifted the cow's tail and saw a yellow ball embedded inside. He knew it wasn't his. A woman came by looking for her ball. The kind golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, "Does this look like yours?" Then he got a beating.
3. A man stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long will it be for a haircut?" The barber looked around and said, "About two hours." The guy left. A few days later he came back, and again, "About two hours." He left again. A week later he came back, and the barber said it would be an hour and a half. After he left, the barber asked Bill to follow him to see where he went. Soon after, Bill returned laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "Where did he go after he left?" Bill said, "He went to your house."
4. A man bumped into a woman in a hotel lobby, his elbow touching her chest. The man said, "If your heart were as soft as your breasts, you would forgive me." The woman replied, "If your penis were as hard as your elbow, I'd stay in room 221."
5. An old Italian man stopped a car heading to Rome, pulled out a gun, forced the male driver into the woods, and forced him to masturbate three times. When the driver was exhausted, the old man said, "Angelina, this good man will drive you to Rome."
6. A couple had been married for many years. One day, the husband told his wife that he wished her breasts were bigger. She asked how to make them bigger. He said, "It's simple, just wipe your breasts with toilet paper every day." The wife didn't believe him, "That's all?" The husband said, "Anyway, it'll work really well for your butt!"
7. As a jet fighter flew overhead, one eagle said to another, "Look at how fast it is!" The other eagle scoffed, "Hmph, if your tail caught fire, you could fly that fast too!"

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