20 Classic Funny Quotes

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1. Others laugh at me for not seeing through things, I laugh at them for wearing nothing at all.
2. In school, you just coast along with the money; at work, you just coast along with the money. Ah, that's life.
3. I really want to strangle my current cowardly and soft-hearted self!
4. My mother praised me for being virtuous and good-natured, saying I was so idle I couldn't do anything.
5. I want to have a simple, five-year relationship with Momo, then marry him and live off his family for free for the rest of my life...
6. Don't flirt with your sister; your brother-in-law has caller ID.
7. At lunchtime, a woman asked her two male colleagues if they wanted tofu. I almost choked on my food.
8. What's a mistress? He's just a person, after all.
9. They say forced melons aren't sweet, but I like bitter melons.
10. When three of your friends are all idiots... you're probably not much better off yourself.
11. I remember a poet I used to like once wrote about chasing the sun. He wrote, "Since I can't catch up with it, I'll just crash into it."
12. Classic saying: Without experiencing poverty, one cannot grow up; without suffering setbacks, one remains naive.
13. As a foodie, eating doesn't mean I'm hungry; it just means my mouth is lonely.
14. I'm learning sacred knowledge, and you're using grades to measure it? This is a disgrace to academia!
15. The greatest distance in the world is when we go out together, you buy an iPhone 4, and I buy four bags of apples.
16. A minute to be attracted, an hour to like, a day to fall in love. But forgetting him takes a lifetime.
17. My socks are full of holes, but my future is not a dream.
18. Our love is like drinking; I'll drink it all, you can drink as you please.
19. It is said that women like to hear sweet words, but actually men like to hear them even more.

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20 Classic Funny Quotes

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