12 Jokes

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1. The power went out tonight, and the boys' dorm across the hall started yelling, "Power back! Power back! Power back!" After ten minutes, the power actually came back on, and they started yelling again, "We want women! We want women!" Then the dorm supervisor came...
2. When the summer vacation first started, I was a complete chubby person. After a summer of persistent effort, I got used to it.
3. One day, while riding the bus, I saw a high school couple sitting in front of me. They were discussing infidelity and cheating. The girl said, "If you dare to betray me and cheat on me, I'll castrate you and then break up with you." The boy replied, "Hmph, if you dare to castrate me, I'll get sex reassignment surgery and then sleep with your husband!"
4. Today I was on the bus when a sexy girl got on. After finding a seat, she took out some tissues and wiped it clean. Just as she sat down, she farted. A guy next to me calmly said, "Damn, so clean! She even blew on it after wiping it." I burst out laughing.
5. Last night at the freshman welcome party, our class performed a chorus of "We Are All One Family". Before going on stage, the senior encouraged everyone, saying, "Junior students, don't be nervous, be as calm as your seniors." So, more than a dozen of us marched onto the stage in unison. After the senior came on stage, he announced, "Next, we will present a chorus for everyone! The name of the song is 'We Are All One Family'."
6. After composing his essay, Gongsun Ce would habitually lick the tip of his brush, sometimes leaving his lips stained black with ink. When Zhan Zhao first saw this, his expression was strange. "Mr. Gongsun, I have a question, but I don't know if I should ask..." "Guard Zhan, please speak freely." "Did you just kiss Lord Bao?" "Damn it."
7. I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, so I got up and went to the living room for a smoke. I found a cockroach and started talking to it for a long time. I told it my views on life, my dissatisfaction with my boss, the pressure of life, and how I was being exploited. When I finished my cigarette, I stomped it to death. There was nothing I could do; it knew too much.
8. Airport ticket check. "Sir, what happened to that scar on your face?" "My mother had a C-section..."
9. One day, a mooncake was hit by a car while crossing the road. Looking down at his split belly, he said dejectedly, "So I was filled with five nuts." Overwhelmed with grief, he prepared to bite his tongue to commit suicide, but after taking just one bite, he spat it out: "Pah! That's fucking disgusting!"
10. A couple went to register their marriage. "Have you had a premarital checkup?" "Yes, he has a house and a car." "I meant at the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."
11. The young man said, "I was very obedient to my first girlfriend, but she said I lacked assertiveness, so we broke up." The Zen master scratched his head. The young man continued, "I was devoted to my second girlfriend, always trying to be the best for her, but she said I was too nice and she wasn't comfortable with me, so we broke up." The Zen master scratched his head again. The young man said, "Zen master, do you want me to use my brain?" The Zen master angrily replied, "Damn it! What I mean is, I'm a monk, what do I know!"

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12 Jokes

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