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A man suffered from severe stuttering, always stammering when speaking. One day, his wife couldn't stand his stuttering any longer and urged him to see a doctor. At the hospital, after registering, the doctor called him in and he said, "Doctor...you...can...you...cure...my...stuttering..." After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "The cause of your stuttering is that your penis is too large, a full forty centimeters. If you want to cure your stuttering, you must have surgery to remove fifteen centimeters." To cure his annoying stutter, he underwent the surgery, having fifteen centimeters removed. After the surgery, his stuttering disappeared, and he spoke fluently again. He happily went home. His wife was very happy to see that his stuttering was cured. However, that night, after they made love, his wife felt very unsatisfied and said to him: "I think you're better off the way you were before. Go ask the doctor to help you put it back tomorrow!" The next day, he went to the hospital again and said to the doctor: "Doctor, please have another operation. I want to put my penis back to its original shape." The doctor replied: "It's too late..."

After dinner, the leader inspected the "Jiangyin Wool Textile Factory." Unfortunately, the neon sign for the factory name at the gate had a circuit malfunction, and the first character "Jiang" was not lit. The leader could only see the last five characters, so he asked the factory manager with concern: "Are the raw materials easy to obtain?"

Tom was about to have sex with his girlfriend for the first time after work. A colleague told Tom that masturbating before intercourse could prolong the time. Tom decided to try it. He thought of many places, such as the office, the break room, and the toilet, but found that none of them were safe. Finally, he came up with a plan. After work, Tom drove away from the company, drove for a while, parked the car on the side of the road, and then crawled under the car and pretended to be repairing it. Tom felt safe, so he closed his eyes and began masturbating while fantasizing. Just as he was about to climax, he suddenly felt someone kick his foot. To prevent the pleasure from fading, Tom kept his eyes closed and asked, "What?" A man replied, "I'm a policeman, what are you doing?" Tom, still masturbating with his eyes closed, replied, "Can't you see? I'm checking the undercarriage." The policeman then said, "You'd better check your brakes too, because your car slid down the slope five minutes ago."

A woman went to a pharmacy and asked the clerk, "Do you sell extra-large condoms?" "Yes, do you want to buy one?" the clerk asked. "Oh, I don't want to buy one," the woman replied, "But do you mind if I wait here for someone to buy one?"

A farmer went to a prostitute. The prostitute said, "Ten dollars for the grass, twenty dollars for the chair, fifty dollars for the bed." The farmer threw down fifty dollars, and the prostitute laughed, "Sir, you're very romantic!" The farmer said, "Romantic my foot, fifty dollars, five times on the grass."

A couple came to a wishing well. The husband bent down, made a wish, and threw a coin into the well. The wife also wanted to make a wish, but when she bent down, she accidentally fell into the well.

The husband was stunned, then laughed and said to himself, "It's fucking effective!"

Two dwarfs were having sex in their respective rooms. One of them finished quickly, and from the other room, they heard, "1, 2, 3, hey... 1, 2, 3, hey." In the morning, he asked the dwarf, "Hey buddy, did you last all night?" The other replied, "Damn, I jumped all night and couldn't even get onto the bed!"

17. A little girl went to a bakery to buy breakfast. She said to the owner, "Boss! I want a chocolate doll." The owner asked, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" The girl replied, "Of course I want a boy! Because there are more edible parts."

19. One day, a wealthy woman went to play golf and got bitten by a mosquito. Because the itching was unbearable, she went to see a doctor. The doctor asked the noblewoman, "Where were you stung?" The noblewoman replied, "Probably between the first and second holes!" The doctor, seemingly enlightened, said, "Hmm, I imagine your legs must have been spread wide!"

22. Dong Zhuo hosted a banquet for his trusted confidants, including Lü Bu and Li Ru, with Diao Chan in attendance. To test their loyalty, Dong Zhuo ordered Diao Chan to blacken his nipples. During the banquet, the candles suddenly went out. When they were relit, everyone's hands were black

except for Diao Chan's, which remained clean. Dong Zhuo then rewarded Diao Chan. Diao Chan smiled, revealing his black teeth. Once upon a time, a monk, on his deathbed, kept reciting Shakespeare. At that time, Shakespeare didn't exist. Later, a scholar researched this and finally discovered: this monk had never been with a woman; he was reciting: "What is a b?"

A hunter was hunting when he saw two birds in a tree. He shot one down and discovered it was featherless. Just as the hunter was wondering what was going on, the other bird flew down and yelled at him, "You son of a bitch! I just stripped her naked, and you shot her down!"

A priest told a young nun that his penis was the key to heaven and made her massage it for him all night. The young nun was overjoyed and went back to tell the older nun that she had found the key to heaven. Upon hearing the young nun's description of the priest's penis, the older nun was furious and said, "Damn it! He told me it was the horn of heaven and made me blow it for forty years!" A world

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renowned bioengineering PhD wanted to conduct an experiment comparing the reproductive abilities of white, black, and Chinese people. He placed three female chimpanzees in three separate rooms, and the three men were locked in each room. After a month, the white man emerged, holding a baby chimpanzee, and proudly declared: "See, white people have such strong reproductive abilities!" Two months later, the black man emerged, holding a baby chimpanzee in each hand: "Black people reproduce so quickly!" Two more months passed, and still no progress in the third room. The black and white men began to mock the Chinese man. Three more months passed, and still no progress. The PhD was starting to lose patience. Suddenly, the Chinese man burst out of the room, holding a baby chimpanzee, and angrily shouted: "Who the hell put a male chimpanzee in here? It took me so long to get it done!"

A big bad wolf invited a little white rabbit for beer, got her drunk, and then raped her. One day, the big bad wolf wanted to do it again, so he said to the little white rabbit, "Little white rabbit, let me buy you a beer!" "Little Rabbit hurriedly said, 'I won't drink anymore, I won't drink anymore, drinking too much beer will hurt my backside.'

A couple was having sex. After the man entered, he lay on top of the woman without moving and gently said, 'We're connected now.' The woman was a little unhappy. The man attacked fiercely, and the woman shouted loudly, 'Mobile is better than Unicom!'

On the street, a pretty lady said to me, 'For 100 yuan, I'm not the kind of person you think I am. For 200 yuan, I'm yours tonight. For 300 yuan, don't treat me like a human being tonight. For 400 yuan, I want to ask how many people you're bringing tonight. For 500 yuan, I don't care if you're bringing people tonight or not!'" A mother told her little girl, "

If someone sexually harasses you, say 'No' if they touch your upper body, and 'Stop' if they touch your lower body!" The next day, the little girl was sexually harassed and came home crying to her mother. After hearing what the little girl said, the mother angrily asked, "Did you refuse that person?" The little girl looked at her mother with innocent eyes, nodded, and said, "That person touched me both up and down, so I said 'No~~Stop!'"

Old Zhang bought a robot female secretary. Pressing her left breast allowed her to do office work, pressing her right breast allowed her to do housework, and she also enjoyed sex! Old Zhang was very satisfied, but on the third day, he angrily complained: "Damn it, why didn't anyone tell me that the anus is a pen drill?!"

A woman went into a sex shop to buy a vibrator. The shopkeeper said, "They're all up there, choose one yourself." After carefully selecting, the woman said, "I want the red one!" The shopkeeper glanced at it and said, "Miss, that's a fire extinguisher!"

During a military exercise, a shell accidentally landed in a melon field. A soldier was sent to investigate. A ragged man, looking miserable, said, "It's just stealing a melon, why the shelling?"

Women have eight fears: being unwanted in their youth; losing their virginity in love and being dumped; no bleeding on their first night and their husband complaining; their husband's erection failing; their husband having affairs without condoms; their husband discovering their affair while they're having an affair; and having a son who looks like a leader.

Late at night, a man was walking through a graveyard when he heard knocking. The more he listened, the more frightened he became. Finally, he saw someone carving a tombstone. Relieved, he said to the man, "You almost scared me to death! What are you doing?" The man replied, "They misspelled my name, I'm correcting it!"

A man went to the hospital. The doctor asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "Don't laugh after I tell you." The doctor replied, "Of course." The man pulled down his pants, revealing his genitals were only as thick as a matchstick. The doctor laughed. The man was furious: "It's been swollen for days, and you're still laughing!"

During a reconnaissance mission, a military officer's female secretary was unfortunately arrested. The enemy ordered her to write a letter to the officer, inviting him to meet at a coffee shop. The secretary, quick-witted, wrote immediately, and when the enemy wasn't looking, she plucked a pubic hair and tucked it into the letter. The letter reached the officer, who was initially delighted, but then noticed the hair inside and exclaimed, "Oh, so it's a conspiracy!"

A customer, in a hurry, didn't have time to buy a condom. He temporarily used a sausage wrapper as a temporary fix. Afterwards, the wrapper remained inside the prostitute. The next customer, after finishing, found the wrapper on his penis and asked, puzzled, "What's that?" The prostitute, embarrassed, blurted out, "A hymen."

The customer glanced at it and cursed, "Bullshit! Hymens have expiration dates?!"

A couple was having sex when the woman suddenly jumped off the bed, ran into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of rice from the rice container, and threw it at the man, angrily saying, "Stop embarrassing yourself here! Go back and raise your chicks before you come back!"

A monkey found a phone card and, wanting to test what kind of card it was, quickly climbed a tree. Just as it reached the top, it was struck by lightning. The monkey angrily exclaimed, "Damn it! It's an IP (being struck by lightning) card!"

A couple was having sex when the husband always demanded the lights be turned off. One time, halfway through, the wife suddenly turned on the light, angrily saying, "So you've been lying to me with cucumbers all this time!" The husband also angrily retorted, "Damn it! I haven't even asked you what happened to the child yet!"

A shop kept a parrot. Every time a customer entered, the parrot would say "Welcome!" A young woman didn't believe it and left six times. The parrot repeated the greeting six times. On the seventh time, the parrot angrily said, "Boss, someone's playing with your bird!"

A pretty female nurse was examining a male patient when his penis suddenly became erect. The nurse wiped it with an alcohol-soaked cotton ball and it went soft. The nurse laughed and said, "With such a low alcohol tolerance, you still dare to stand up and drink!"

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