Wife swapping, and then what? - Chapter Ten: I'm Yours

Life went on quietly, and no one mentioned that night again.
Although we are both trying to forget, it's as if there's a thin film separating me and Si, and I can no longer feel the intimacy we used to share.
I am heartbroken over the hurt I have caused Si, and I often sit alone in my study, wondering how I can make amends for my mistake.
Si has been extremely sensitive lately, like a wounded little rabbit. Sometimes even the slightest noise can startle her. I often see her sitting quietly alone, lost in thought, not knowing what she's thinking.
Watching all this unfold, I was helpless. I felt immense guilt and remorse for hurting Si with my own dark thoughts. Every time I wanted to reach out and hold her in my arms, comfort her, apologize, and beg for her forgiveness, I always backed down at the last moment. I was afraid. I could hardly bear to imagine how Si would feel about me after that night. My ugly face had been laid bare before her. Would she hate me? Would she still love me? Would she leave me?
Although she never showed it in daily life, still taking meticulous care of me, every time she stared blankly into space with a blank expression, I felt a sense of dread. Her smiles became fewer and fewer. This once warm family began to grow increasingly cold. And the culprit behind all of this was me.
My depression and daily melancholy gradually began to affect my work. My manager called me into his office several times, asking if something had happened at home and offering me some time off to sort things out. I refused each time. What could I do? What should I do? It's all my own fault.
Back home, Si and I found ourselves awkwardly polite to each other, each trying to force a smile. The harmony of the home was gone.
I sat alone in the living room watching TV. I seemed a bit distracted today, and almost broke the dishes several times. The rice was also a little burnt.
Dinner proceeded in silence. Si picked at the rice in her bowl, not picking at any other food. Unable to bear the oppressive atmosphere, I also quickly finished my meal, put down my chopsticks, and went into the study. I didn't notice Si watching my retreating figure, silently shedding tears.
The number of times I've thought about you and cried this past month is more than all the time we've spent together in total. But it's all been when I can't see you.
They remained silent, each going about their own business. Slowly, it was time for bed.
I don't know when it started, but we began sleeping back to back on opposite sides of each other. We haven't made love in ages.
In the awkward silence, I felt a rustling behind me. Then, Si gently wrapped her arms around my waist from behind.
"Honey, I'm so sorry..."
I knew what was coming would eventually come. I remained silent, my heart aching, as I waited patiently for what was to come.
"I'm sorry, it's my fault. If... if you really want to change... then I agree." The rest of the voice was barely audible.
Wait, something's not right!
Who the hell wrote this rubbish script? What on earth happened? I was bewildered, unable to believe what I was hearing.
"Husband, please, don't abandon me, don't leave me. I'm scared, I don't know what to do!"
I slowly turned around and stared blankly at Si.
Si looked at me with teary eyes, her hands tightening around my waist.
"I agree, I really agree. Honey, I'm scared. Every time you sigh and smoke in the study, it scares me so much. I'm afraid that one day you'll leave and never come back. I'm afraid you won't want me anymore. I can only feel at ease when you come home. But when you're home, you feel so far away from me."
Si misunderstood me. She misunderstood that I was angry with her because she didn't agree to wife swapping, and that I didn't want her anymore.
A mix of emotions welled up inside me. I was relieved that Si didn't actually dislike me, and I was also amazed by the depth of her love for me. But most of all, I was overjoyed by Si's agreement.
The thought that I had given up on seemed to come back to life, filling every corner of my heart once again.
"You...really...agree?"
"Yes, I agree. As long as you're happy, I agree... Will you leave me, honey?"
Si looked at me timidly, her eyes filled with fear, as if she was about to hear my rejection.
"How could this be? How could this be? I love you so much, my wife, how could I ever leave you!"
How despicable I am! Compared to pure thoughts, I appear so insignificant.
"Love me, husband, love me, I want you, I'm yours."
Because my inner knot was untied, and because my previously hopeless dream of wife-swapping suddenly took a turn for the better, an unprecedentedly strong desire erupted within me.
I swiftly stripped off Si's thin nightgown, along with all my own clothes. I passionately kissed every inch of Si's skin, teasing her sensitive spots. Once Si's opening began to moisten, I impatiently thrust inside.
"ah……"
Amidst the long-lost soft moans, we once again became one.
I thrust wildly, and Si responded to me without reservation. At that moment, we felt so harmonious. The feeling of being needed by each other was so wonderful. This time, our lovemaking was more exhilarating than ever before.
I can't remember how many times I took Si's body before we fell asleep in each other's arms.

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Wife swapping, and then what? - Chapter Ten: I'm Yours

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