Beijing Stories (Repost) 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Since that spring, I'd had a premonition of impending disaster; nothing had gone smoothly.
My mother had another long talk with me, urging me to get married immediately.
She repeatedly warned me of the dangers of not marrying, talking about her life, my father, and how difficult life could be. She advised me not to be impulsive
and reckless, but to take responsibility for my own life. I listened in astonishment, never knowing that my mother, a graduate of a prestigious university,
was actually a philosopher.

One day, I noticed my younger sister looking at me with disdain. Later, my mother said that Lin Jingping had already
told them about my situation. I was no longer the authoritative older brother.

Business was also going poorly; the manager of "Zhi Xing" had been arrested, and he was my biggest source of income.
I was even more afraid of getting involved in the case, so I dared not act rashly and observed how things would develop.

I began to calmly consider my relationship with Lan Yu. No matter what, I was ten years older than him and past
thirty . I couldn't continue to wallow in the quagmire of emotions like a teenager. I didn't know
what Lan Yu needed from me; I only wanted to give him everything I could. I no longer cared what he did or who he associated with. I
only cherished every minute we spent together.

One day in March, Lan Yu summoned me. We made love and chatted.

We talked about some abstract things, about the soul, the afterlife...

"Would you want to meet me again in your next life?" I asked him again the question that had been bothering me.

"No!" he answered simply.

"So you regret it?" I laughed.

"I don't regret this life, and I would never live like this in the next life either," he said. I couldn't understand...

"

Beep, beep..." His pager rang again. He glanced at it but still ignored it. He was
looking at a school's brochure.

"Sigh! I definitely won't be able to go to 'MIT' in this life!" he said. He had told me it
was a famous engineering school.

"I'll let your son go there in the future."

"What son do I have?" he said, smiling at me.

His pager rang again. I handed him my phone.

“I’ll go downstairs and go back.” He looked a little embarrassed and turned to leave.

When he came back, he was beaming with excitement.

“What’s the good news? Why are you so happy?” I didn’t want to ask, but I couldn’t help myself.

“He got his acceptance letter! It’s 24,000 a year! That’s amazing!” I could tell he was very happy for him
.

“What 24,000?” I didn’t understand.

“A full scholarship! That’s enough! He’ll definitely go this year!” He sounded like a young
kid .

I finally understood that he was talking about his friend going abroad to study: “Why go abroad at such an old age?
” I said sarcastically.

“He’s only twenty-eight! Not as old as you!” He laughed, looking smug, which I found annoying.

“Then you’d better work harder and get it done so we can go together this year.” I didn’t argue with him.

“Easier said than done. Architecture is so hard to get into. A ton of acceptance letters, but none of them have money.” He said,
his expression darkening.

He thought for a moment and then said, “Maybe I should take the GRE again? I was so close to 2,000…
” He seemed to be talking to himself.

That night, he became taciturn again; he must have been saddened by the temporary separation from his friends
.

In April, I received a notice that my company's accounts would be subject to
a full investigation due to the "Zhixing" case. I was plunged into an unprecedented crisis.

I rarely went home, afraid to face my mother's eyes; she had rarely smiled lately, and she had probably
given up on me.

Lan Yu would visit me twice a week, and I began to avoid or refuse him. Meanwhile, I was busy with something else.

That day, after making love with Lan Yu, I asked him,

"Where's your old passport?"

"It's with me." He looked at me strangely.

"It's probably expired. Give me your passport, and I'll get you a new one within a week, and a different reason for
leaving the country ." I said, getting out of bed and opening the envelope I had brought:

"This is a guarantee from banks in China and the US. Don't you have an acceptance letter? You can use this for the visa
." Lan Yu listened in surprise, but I spoke calmly.

"These kinds of visas are very difficult to obtain." He seemed quite knowledgeable about this.

“Don’t worry, I have a friend who specializes in official visas for the Ministry of Economic Affairs. She’s very
familiar and has a good relationship with two visa officers. Once your passport is ready, she’ll take you there.”

“Will that work?” He was skeptical.

“No problem. You can figure it out once you get to the US. I’ve deposited $50,000 for you. If you
ever run into trouble, just borrow it and pay me back later,” I said.

“…” He didn’t say anything.

I think he must have been quite touched.

After a while, he looked at me and smiled, relaxed but with a hint of sarcasm:

“Actually, you really don’t need to do this. I already knew you were tired of me and avoiding me. You’re trying to
send .” He laughed even harder: “You should keep that money for yourself. I’ll be able
to get through sooner or later.” After he finished speaking, he started to get up and put on his clothes.

I didn't say anything, just got dressed and, after getting ready, took my things and handed
him a business card:

"Lan Yu, this is that person's business card. Once your passport comes through, call her. I've
already spoken to her, she'll definitely help you. This is an opportunity, don't you want to reunite with your lover in America? If you do
n't want to do it, just burn all these documents and throw them in the trash." I looked at him mockingly.

He looked at me quietly.

"Don't bother me anymore, there are plenty of women better than me in bed," I said.

His face was grim, and melancholy resurfaced.

"From the first day we met, you thought I was just a money-grubber. Our first argument
was about this, and you feel ashamed? But I feel even more humiliated... All I gave you was
a few stinking coins ?! Humph!" I laughed self-deprecatingly.

He lowered his head, silent.

"I'm not staying here tonight, it's too cold here. I'm fed up!" I said, walking to the door.
"Aren't you going to see me off?!" I asked, opening the door.

He stood there, saying, "Can't you walk by yourself?"

He was right; I should walk by myself...

This

time, it was a complete breakup. I wasn't in great pain, just numb from the hurt.
I think Lan Yu felt the same way back then. Later, Lan Yu called me twice, saying he wanted to treat me
to drinks. I said I was busy and wanted to quit drinking. Fortunately, I didn't have much time to experience the pain of this love
; a month later, I was arrested.

I don't want to talk too much about that case. I only remember the day of my arrest: several plainclothes officers came into my
office , showed me the arrest warrant, and asked me to sign it. I stretched out my hands, and they handcuffed me. I'm a
timid person, but that day I was unusually calm. Before this, I had a premonition of the seriousness of the situation
. I made many efforts, but I found that at this point, all my friends were no longer friends. I could
understand .

I was charged with many crimes: bribery, involvement in smuggling, illegal fundraising... It's easy to find a pretext for a crime;
everyone does it, but my connections aren't strong enough, and I'm not ruthless enough. After
so many years in the business world, this is the first time I've realized how naive and bookish I am.

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