My experience of being raped twice

My Two Experiences of Being Raped

I thought about it for a long, long time before deciding to try writing down these two experiences. I think it will make me feel better
, and also to warn other women not to trust people too much! My two acts of trust resulted
in this outcome!

First Time: 2000, Sophomore Year

I was a sophomore in college, 22 years old, not exactly young, but before that I had never been in a relationship, and didn't even
know what love was.

I remember that year, during the October 1st holiday, I planned to go to Qingdao to visit a classmate. One of my roommates
was very close to me; her family was in Jinan. She said it was on her way and invited me to go back to her hometown with her to visit and maybe even meet
her boyfriend. I was very naive then, thinking that girls with boyfriends were so lucky and wonderful, and I really wanted to see
how other people got together. It
's online

video 　　in China < 　　/aspiemax.com ... Well, A said after hearing this, "Going to Grandma's house isn't convenient, and the conditions aren't good either. My house is big, you can come to my house. I have many guest rooms." I looked at my roommate, and my roommate looked at me, saying that his house was better, without a big dog, so you could sleep comfortably by yourself. "Do you want to come?" I think she meant go ahead, go ahead," so I didn't say anything, just smiled and said, "It's nothing, I'll go." The reason I thought I could go was: First, they've been classmates since childhood, and if he were a bad person, my roommate wouldn't agree to me going. 　　Second, I didn't really want to stay at her grandma's house (that was also my thought at the time of dinner; if there were better options...). Firstly , I was thinking of avoiding her grandmother's house. 　　Secondly, he was tall and had a sunny disposition (this is the truth; if he looked sleazy, I probably wouldn't have gone—that was my thought at the time). Besides, aren't Shandong people generally honest and kind? In my mind, people like that wouldn't be bad, and he was only saying that to help his classmate. ( I don't know why my roommate didn't go with me; I really forgot. In the end, it was just the two of us.) 　　Hearing me say this, my roommate's mother nudged her daughter, glanced at me, and didn't say anything. (I only remembered this later.) 　　After dinner... He took me back on his motorcycle, but we didn't go straight home. He took me to see many . Finally, we sat for a while on a grassy area near his house. He was smoking and didn't say much. Then he told me he really liked an online friend who lived far away and wanted to meet her. I said, "If you like her, go for it." This made me think he was a kind and loyal person, and I lowered my guard even further. Finally, he took me to his house. His parents opened the door (at that point, I had no guard up at all; his parents were home—who would have thought something like this would happen?). Then he went back to sleep. He took me upstairs to his bedroom. I stood there with my bag and asked him to take me to the guest room. He said, "You can stay in my room; I'll go to the guest room. My room is bigger." I didn't say anything. After he left, I changed into my pajamas and took a shower. When I came back, I saw him looking for something in the room. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said he wanted to show me his photo album. We sat on the bed and started looking at it. But I was really tired; I'd been on the train , and I had no interest in looking at it. I flipped through it a couple of times and said I wanted to sleep. 　　He didn't say anything and just left. I lay down and drifted off to sleep. Unexpectedly, he came back in an hour later. I remember locking the door (I really remember locking it; when I saw him out, I closed the door and pressed the button on the back). He brought two bottles of Coke with straws. He said he couldn't sleep and asked if I could chat with him. 　　I reluctantly sat up and asked what we should talk about. He told me some things about his relationships, then gave me a Coke and said, "Are you thirsty?" I naturally took it, drank a few sips, and leaned against the bed. He sat opposite me, talking incessantly, but I couldn't seem to hear him. I became increasingly confused, and my head spun. To this day, I still wonder if there's a drug that, once ingested, doesn't cause loss of consciousness but does cause loss strength. 　　The moment he sat down, I knew what was happening. Although I'd never been in a relationship and never knew what sex was, I knew what was going to happen. He came over and started to undress me. It was very gentle, or rather, very tender—if that word could be used to describe a rapist. I was so anxious. I said, "No , no, no! Don't!" But my voice was too soft, and I tried to push him away, but I was too weak. Even now, as I write this, I can still feel that powerlessness. It was like having a nightmare. The feeling of wanting to wake up but not being able to. 　　By the way: I was on my period at the time, I think it lasted three or two days, more than two years ago, I don't quite remember. He knew when he took off his underwear. He didn't take it off completely, and I was really glad. 　　He saw I was on my period and didn't take off my underwear, but he took off his own clothes and hugged me. 　　I was conscious, but weak, though I could still move and speak. I shouted at the top of my lungs and pushed him with all my might, but to him it just seemed to excite him more (I only realized ). I don't know if his parents heard me, but later I heard from my roommate's mother that he often changed girlfriends and often brought girls home for the night, which explains why his parents seemed so indifferent when they saw me. Even if they heard me, they just thought we were flirting.

I said, "Please don't do this. I'm on my period, didn't you see? People say even rabbits don't eat
the grass near their burrows. I'm your classmate's good friend, how can you be worse than an animal?"

He didn't seem to listen, just kept touching and kissing my breasts. It felt like a million spiders
crawling all over me. I really can't describe how I felt at that moment—ashamed, angry, and anxious all at once. One moment I was cursing him with every word
I could think , the next I was begging him. I said, "Please don't do this. I've never been in a relationship before.
How can I face anyone after this?" Unexpectedly, upon hearing this, he pulled down my underwear.

He forced himself on me despite my period. You probably will never imagine what that feeling is like, but
I really can't describe it. My stomach hurt a lot, and my lower body hurt even more… About ten minutes later, or maybe less, I
fainted and didn't know anything.

When I woke up, I found myself lying there, the sheets covered in blood. This blood makes me dizzy and nauseous whenever I
see anything red. I was only wearing my underwear, just my underwear, and I was still very
weak. Even the slightest movement was painful. I didn't know if this would leave any lasting effects. Later, I looked it up in a book
and read menstruation and intercourse are also bad for men. But why would he be like this?

It wasn't until dawn that I regained my strength. I got dressed and slowly walked out, not quickly, my legs were very sore.
His family was having breakfast. They looked at me with indifference, which made me feel even more heartbroken. I
opened the door . I didn't go to my roommate's place. I went straight to the station, bought a ticket, and waited for the train back to school.

Back at school, I spent two or three hours in the public bathhouse, crying as I washed. I
didn't dare cry in the dorm; I was afraid people would ask me what was wrong. Only in the public bathhouse, where no one knew me, could I shed a few tears!

For the next week or so, every time I closed my eyes, I would see a large red patch. I was in very poor spirits,
just spacing out in class. My roommate's boyfriend came all the way from Zhengzhou (he was studying at Zhengzhou University at the time) to see me, because A
told them. They went to look for me that morning but couldn't find me, so A told them. My roommate later told me that
she didn't expect A to have changed so much. Working at the Transportation Bureau, he had power and knew all sorts of people. He
even apologized to me, but an apology felt really insignificant to me. Before this, I was very healthy ; I never had menstrual cramps. But after that, I had painful periods every time. And I was terrified when my period came. It was probably psychological. 　　The second rape: After graduating from university, in Shenzhen. 　　After that, I didn't have a boyfriend until my senior year of college. A male classmate was very nice to me, so I tried dating him. We came to Shenzhen together after graduation. 　　I worked at a car company as an advertising designer , belonging to the marketing department. Friends in Shenzhen might remember the 7th China Hi-Tech Fair Auto Show last year. As a member of my company's marketing department, I naturally attended. There were many foreigners at that auto show. To be honest, my English is only at the CET-4 level, not very good, but I can manage daily conversations. There, I met mbx. I was at the booth as usual when he came over and asked me about the cars. I explained them to him enthusiastically, and he gave me his business card and then asked for my phone number. 　　About a week after the auto show, I received a call from him. He asked for my email address, which I gave him, and then asked for our company address. He visited us a few more times to look at cars after that. That's how we became acquainted . One Saturday, he called to ask if I wanted to visit him teaching (he's a teacher who sometimes teaches in Shenzhen and sometimes at a primary school). My thought at the time was: having a foreigner as a friend is actually quite nice. I can also learn more English, practice my courage, and maybe it will make it easier to change jobs in the future (because I had only graduated for half a year at that time). (I admit I was really vain at the time; I even bragged about meeting a foreigner to my college classmates on QQ for quite a while.) So I went and listened to his lecture at Shenzhen University . It was quite good, and it made me even more impressed with him… The students were all very kind to him, and they would surround him with questions after class. 　　Finally, he took me for coffee, and after that, I went home. Throughout the whole process, I felt he was a very nice person, and when we were together speaking English, people around us would look at me with envy. I believe everyone has seen American movies; his image is similar to that of the black characters in them. However, in my eyes, all black people look the . 　　In December, due to a job transfer, I left the car company. I was in a bad mood during that time and didn't really want to look for a job because it was almost Chinese New Year, and jobs weren't easy to find. So, under these circumstances, I would go out whenever mbx asked me out. He was always very kind; we would go to Sea World in Nanshan to listen to other people sing and see the sea view. I had a boyfriend at the time, and my boyfriend knew I had such a black friend. He didn't object to us going out together. He probably thought I'd be bored and in a bad mood if I stayed home alone, so he wanted me to go out and relax more (my boyfriend is really good to me; he rushes home to see me as soon as he gets off work, and I'm always home whenever he's home). They'd also met before and had coffee together; everyone seemed to get along well. 　　Once, we (and other friends) went to Shekou, and since his family lived there, we all went too . This time, nothing happened. 　　The second time, I was looking for a job. We didn't have a computer at home, but his family did. He knew I was submitting resumes and told me he had a computer at home so I could submit them for him. Looking back, it was just submitting a few resumes; there was no need to go to his house. But I did go. 　　He cooked for me, taught me some English, showed me some videos he filmed at his home in the US, and I submitted some resumes. Everything went smoothly; everyone was happy. When I left, he even gave me a hug and a kiss, saying, "You bre my best friend fever!" (You'll always be my best friend) Although I felt awkward at first, I thought that the differences between the two countries might not seem like much to others, so I didn't dwell on it. 　　I've been looking for a job for almost a month, but I'm clueless and not in a good mood. I haven't contacted mbx in a long time either. That day, I was having an interview in Shekou. Just after the interview was almost over, mbx called me, saying he made some kind of fried rice from his hometown and asked if I wanted to come over and try it. Since I'd never had anything like it at his house before, plus...

I hadn't seen him in a long time, so I went over. He was very welcoming. After dinner, we sat on the sofa chatting, looking up unfamiliar
words in the dictionary. Suddenly, he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. I stared at it for a long time,
unable to make out what it was, until finally realizing it was his penis. I felt incredibly awkward and my face burned. He said he'd
taken a picture of it that morning and even asked if it was big. My stomach started hurting again. I felt terrible and said I had to go home. He
said, "Why are you leaving so soon? We haven't seen each other in so long."

He asked me about work. I stood up, grabbed my shirt
, and was about to leave when he suddenly grabbed me and frantically pressed his lips to my face. My stomach was really
hurting at that moment, and I felt like vomiting. He was much taller than me, and holding me was as easy as holding a doll.

In my mind, if a woman resists and refuses to submit, the man rarely succeeds in rape
. So, that was my belief at the time, especially since I was wearing jeans.

I struggled desperately with my hands and feet, but he couldn't hurt me at all. He carried me to the bedroom,
or rather, threw me onto the bed. I immediately got up. Although I screamed for help,
no . This is probably a tragedy of Shenzhen; everyone is only concerned with self-preservation, and no one will
stand up for what's right.

Believing I would fight to the death and he couldn't do anything to me, I struggled desperately, but I was wrong.

Perhaps seeing how hard I struggled, he pressed my hands down on the bed. My legs were originally
tightly closed so he couldn't take off my pants. Unexpectedly, he forcibly spread my legs,
pressing one leg against the other with his knee!! You can imagine how much pain my legs were in. This
pain made me involuntarily open my legs. His knees were pressing on my calves, it hurt so much. I
didn't , just the pain in my legs and hands!

I kept shouting for him to stop, or I would call the police, but he seemed not to understand. After he
stripped me naked, I was covered in bruises, and my legs felt like they were about to break. He held me
and kissed me repeatedly. By then, I had no strength left to resist, and my voice was hoarse. At first, he couldn't
penetrate Maybe I was too dry and small, and his was too big, or maybe it was something else. Also, my stomach felt like
it was cramping, and I was in a lot of pain.

I tried to tell him not to press down on my hands and feet, and I said I wouldn't move. Only then did he slowly release me, and I noticed a large patch of bruises and red marks
on my hands .

Later, I was much more obedient because I didn't want to suffer any more harm, because I knew that no matter what, he
wouldn't let me go. I just let him do whatever he wanted while crying. When he couldn't penetrate me, he even licked me with his mouth
for a while, probably trying to wet it to make it easier to go in. I was fully conscious during the act; I
was very obedient and didn't move or resist, but in the end, it still resulted in vaginal tearing! After it was all over, I couldn't
get up and could only lie down. My hands were okay, but my legs were the main problem. You can try having someone gently press
down on your legs with their knees to see how badly my legs were injured in that situation. Although my legs, hands
, and lower body hurt, I still managed to get dressed. He was lying next to me with his eyes closed. After I
got dressed, he got up, carried me to the bathroom, and took off all my clothes.

I was already heartbroken and felt completely helpless, like a fish on a chopping board, so I just let him do as he pleased. He put my
clothes aside, washed me all over with water, and then carried me to the bed in the bedroom and started cleaning
the bed . I stared at him intently, only thinking about calling the police as soon as possible to arrest him and make him spend his life
in jail!

I don't know if he was a repeat offender or what, but he even washed my clothes
(probably put them in the washing machine). I couldn't find my phone (my bag was in the living room, and going out was impossible at that time
), and I couldn't leave, so I had to stay there. That period was incredibly difficult. Every minute
felt like an eternity. From morning (around 11 AM) until night, it must have been ten hours. He wouldn't let me
leave, nor did he care about my injuries. I told him several times I wanted to go home, but he wouldn't let me, telling me to rest first
. That evening (I don't remember what time), he came close again, but this time he didn't do anything. He
just kept saying he liked me, asking me to be his girlfriend, and saying that having sex with me was exciting. Then he
started assaulting me. When he tried to penetrate me again, he seemed to notice a lot of blood and stopped.
Then he helped me get dressed and carried me to the hospital; his house was very close to Nanshan Hospital.

I was covered in injuries. When the doctor asked me, I pointed at him and said he raped me! But the doctor
was very skeptical: would a rapist bring you to the hospital?

The doctor first examined my external injuries, then transferred me to the gynecology department. They told me I had a vaginal tear with
bleeding and minor uterine damage. I said I had to preserve the evidence; I wanted to accuse him of rape. The gynecologists
looked at me strangely, as if it were unbelievable that someone would accuse me of rape, especially in
Shenzhen. They looked at me like I was some heinous slut!

I called the police (110), and they came to see the scene, but I couldn't leave, so they went themselves
. They said there was nothing there, and then asked the doctor to provide a medical report as evidence. My
boyfriend already knew and came to the hospital with me. As soon as I was discharged, I broke up with him, even though he
disagreed. I was determined; I didn't want to, and couldn't, face him again. After the breakup, I focused entirely on
getting justice, but the police were completely ineffective. They took him to give a statement, and they claimed it
was consensual, that I willingly had sex with him, and that I hurt myself to blackmail him after he refused to help me get a visa ! I was speechless for a long, long time. At that moment, I understood clearly
what it meant to be completely distorted and unable to distinguish right from wrong !
Then I sued him in court (he paid
all my medical in one lump sum). I sued him in the Nanshan Court, and I presented evidence, including the hospital's test
results. I thought I would win; I thought I could finally bring him down and punish this monster.
But reality told me it was impossible!

He hired a lawyer (some people asked me why I didn't hire a lawyer? If I told you: I've only been out of school for less than six months...).
Moreover, I was unemployed and living alone in a small rented apartment, struggling to
afford . Would you still criticize me for not hiring a lawyer? He himself never even showed up! Everything
was between me and that lawyer! In the end, because there were no witnesses and no strong evidence, and because it was said I
was injured at his house, he was only ordered to pay medical expenses! I don't know if all cases like this
end so hastily. I know I couldn't afford a lawyer at the time, and when I recounted the events in court, I
was too emotional and ashamed to speak coherently, so I lost the case!

After the rape, I went home and stayed there for six months. During that time, I frantically researched and studied, trying to find
a way to escape, while simultaneously telling my family I was studying for graduate school and asking them not to disturb me. However ,
after six months, the feeling of being unable to speak out or appeal made me escape from home. I had to get back up where I fell,
so I came to Shenzhen again. I didn't see a therapist, but I read a lot of books on psychology.
Almost a year has passed, and if I still don't have the courage to face it, then I
'll never be able to. During my time in Shenzhen, I retraced my steps, but I
never confronted the people and events of the past. There was a period when my heart felt like it was about to explode. I knew I shouldn't
bury these feelings inside; only by speaking them out could I find some relief.

Now, it's all over.

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/181243.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=181243&aspx=1

Previous Page : 【The Divine Eagle Empire】(Unabridged Volume 3, Chapter 1)

Next Page : 【The Divine Eagle Empire】(Unabridged Volume 3, Chapter 5)

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

My experience of being raped twice

comment Open a new window to view comments