Stories from my youth

This happened in 2008. I graduated from university in 2004, and my girlfriend graduated in 2005. She came to this northern coastal city for me. Life was ordinary, but because we were young, we felt we had a future, so we felt hopeful. In 2006, my girlfriend fell seriously ill. After paying all the medical bills, I cruelly left her. There were various reasons, which I won't go into, but ultimately, reason prevailed over love, and we broke up. Seven years of relationship left me heartbroken. But soon, my impulses took over, and I started looking for my next girlfriend.

The protagonist of this story is named H. We were classmates in the same department but different majors in university. Later in university, although I had a girlfriend, I secretly flirted with H a few times, pretending to want to date her. She took it seriously and agreed. I then realized she was a naive girl. Later, my conscience bothered me, and I felt I couldn't hurt her, so after graduation, we went our separate ways. She went to the south, and I stayed in the north. Not long after graduation, around 2005, I received text messages from her. Each message brought up random topics, like hearing I'd been promoted or changed jobs, leaving me completely confused. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Later, I realized she was actually testing me to see if my girlfriend had broken up with me and if there was a chance for us to be together. Girls can't be that direct, right? Around 2006, she told me she had a boyfriend and stopped contacting me. Let me tell you about H. She's about 165cm tall and weighs around 150-160kg, I haven't asked for details, and she wouldn't tell me anyway. She's average-looking, and while she's plump, she's not overweight, being young, and has fair skin. But what captivated me most were her large breasts; at least a G cup if not H. I'm naturally attracted to curvy figures, and those breasts were enough to cover up any perceived flaws in my figure. For a while after my girlfriend broke up with me, I thought, why not ask her too? She's not particularly pretty, but she's innocent, mature, and I know her well. Marrying her wouldn't be a bad idea, especially since she likes me so much. So I started contacting her by phone and QQ. After a period of persistent pleading, I felt she was about to say yes, just a little bit more. I couldn't figure out what her concern was. Finally, after an all-night phone call, I had just fallen asleep when I vaguely heard a text message. I picked up my phone and read: "I've already given my virginity to my boyfriend. Do you mind?" It dawned on me—that's what this silly girl cared about. I replied, "I'll give you a satisfactory answer tonight." Around 10 a.m., the phone rang. It was her. She cried anxiously, saying, "I can't wait any longer! Tell me now!" I said, "I've already told you. It's a satisfactory answer." She stopped crying and laughed, whining on the phone for a long time. Later, she asked me, "Can any man really not mind?" I said, "You and your boyfriend have been together for two years. We're both adults. Do you think I haven't thought about these things? I had already decided before I contacted you that I wouldn't mind. This isn't your fault; it's fate playing tricks on us." She cried happily for a long time, then composed herself: "XX, you'll be mine for life. Wait for me to come back to you. I want you to marry me."
So, the matter was settled. I told her to confront her boyfriend immediately, but she hesitated. Her boyfriend was incredibly good to her, and although she was already very determined, she didn't want to hurt him so suddenly. That night, she called her mother and told her about it. Her mother told her that she couldn't break up immediately; she needed to spend more time with me before making a final decision. The old fox really knew how to play it cool. Just then, I had a professional title exam in SY (Shanghai). She said she wanted to meet me in SY, and after some planning, we met. She was very shy when she saw me. We arrived a day early, and after wandering around the streets for a while, we found a hotel and booked two rooms. I remember they were 140 yuan each, and I took the two rooms next door. One of the receptionists, looking rather clueless, asked why we didn't share a room. Another nudged her and said they weren't a couple, covering her mouth and giggling. Upstairs, I think it was a room with two single beds. I was quite tired after wandering around all day. Lying in bed, I wondered if I should go to her room. Going there felt like being too hasty, but not going felt like being too much. Just then, she came over and said there was a hole under the radiator in her room. I went to check, and it seemed fine. Just as I was about to sit down, someone knocked on the door. It was the police checking rooms. We opened the door, and the officer was very polite, asking for some basic information before leaving. I felt awkward staying in her room in front of the officer, so I went back to my own room and lay down. Just as I was about to fall asleep, she called and asked what I was doing. I said I was almost asleep, and she said disappointedly, "Then you can sleep." Since things had come to this, it would be too much of a rude thing to do. I went to her bedside, sat down, and chatted with her for a while. Then we went downstairs to eat. After dinner, we went back to her room. She lay down, and I sat and watched TV. After a while, she pretended to accidentally touch my hand, and once she touched it, she didn't move it away. I saw she was looking at me, her expression very sad. I sat on the bed and asked her what was wrong, and then pulled her into my arms. She immediately pressed her face against mine, about to cry. I knew she was in a difficult situation, so I patted her. She said, "Are you comforting a child?" I smiled and didn't say anything, then pressed my lips to hers for a kiss. She responded passionately. After a while, I moved down onto the bed, and she lay in my arms, her face turned away from me. I whispered in her ear, "Turn your face, I want to kiss you." She immediately turned her head to my lips and gave me another long kiss. I was a little breathless and pulled away from her lips, but she wouldn't let me. She arched her body and blocked my mouth again, continuing the deep kiss. At that moment, I thought, "It's clear enough, let's fuck it." I roughly rolled over and pinned her down, my lips never leaving hers. My hand reached inside her clothes and touched the large breasts I had dreamed of for years. Unable to feel the flesh through her clothes, I laboriously reached behind her back to untie them. She cooperated by arching her body, and once they were undone, those large breasts were completely mine. I used every trick in the book: kneading, pressing, pinching, licking, sucking, and biting. After playing around for a while, my hand started to move downwards, touching her through the fabric. I pulled down her pants, revealing her dark skin. She was quite plump and voluptuous. As I took off my own pants, she pulled them up, saying, "No, we can't do this. I'm not ready." I laughed; that was typical symbolic resistance. I ignored her, pulled down my pants, and thrust into her. I turned her face towards me, saying, "Don't say anything more. From now on, you're mine. I want your body." I spread her legs, rubbed her a few times, and then thrust in with force. The moment I entered, she closed her eyes and fell silent. On a side note, I especially love the way a woman closes her eyes the moment she's penetrated. Some women will let out a soft "hmm" while closing their eyes, some will let out a long "ah" before closing their eyes, and some will bite their lip and tilt their head back while doing so. This reaction is my favorite; it means the man has entered me, and I feel good. Her reaction was to close her eyes and let out a "hmm," but she didn't bite her lip. I began to plow. I don't know if it's because she's overweight or what, but her vagina is so tight that it's rubbing against me and it doesn't feel very comfortable. I tried to spread her legs as wide as possible, but it still didn't feel the same. I don't know why, it just wasn't comfortable. Usually, women don't last more than ten minutes, but this time it's been twenty minutes, and I haven't felt like ejaculating at all. After another ten minutes or so, I got a little tired, but she didn't complain. I said, "Let's take a break." She said, "What's wrong? We're not finished yet." I said, "I don't know, why don't I feel like ejaculating?" She said, "Take it slow, whatever you want." I said, "Let's take a break," and she nodded. We lay down on our sides and chatted. I said, "Is your boyfriend like this when you're with you?" She said no, her boyfriend always ejaculates pretty quickly. Speak of the devil. Her boyfriend called. She looked at me and shushed me, then answered the phone, looking very embarrassed. They talked about when they were going back, which station to go to, and how to pick her up. A moment later, she hurriedly hung up. I suggested we go downstairs for a late-night snack, and she agreed. We went down to a small but nice restaurant next to the hotel. We ordered a few dishes, including something called "Sha Shen" (沙参), which I tried for the first time. After eating, we went back upstairs, lay on the bed, and I was determined to ejaculate at least once. I undressed her, and this time we lay on our sides, and I entered her from behind. She didn't react much, but I still didn't feel as good. It took me a while to ejaculate. When I did, I asked her if I could ejaculate inside, and she said she was afraid of getting pregnant. My mind raced: if she didn't leave today, I'd just go for it, ejaculate inside, and if she got pregnant, we'd get married. But she definitely had to go back this time, at least to make the breakup clear. Work issues can't be resolved in a day or two, and I wasn't sure if she'd live with her boyfriend if she went back. If she did, was it even possible? And if I ejaculated inside her and he ejaculated inside her, who would be responsible if she got pregnant? Oh well, I'd just ejaculate. I ended up ejaculating on her stomach. That night, we talked a lot, mostly about how she wanted to break up with me. She said she'd come to see me within six months, but we couldn't live separately immediately, though she promised not to let him sleep with her. I firmly disagreed. My wife couldn't possibly sleep in someone else's arms! She cried and made a fuss several times during that period, and I had to both scold and soothe her, barely sleeping that night. The next day I went to take an exam, and she waited for me at the hotel. That evening, after dinner, we returned to the hotel, and as soon as I entered the room, I stripped her naked, pushed her onto the bed, and entered her. This time she let out a loud moan. I asked, "Why isn't your reaction strong?" She said she did react, but not as intensely. I fucked her wildly, and she responded, her eyes glazed, saying, "Don't do this. From now on, I'm yours alone." I said, "If you dare let him touch you again, I'll kill you!" She said, "Even if I die, I'll be your ghost." This time I was determined; no matter what, I was going to ejaculate inside her, to assert my dominance, but for some reason, I still couldn't ejaculate. Later, I stopped, pulled out, and lay down. She asked me again, "What's wrong? You only did half of it again." I said I didn't know. She said, "Then calm down for a while, and we'll try again later." I dozed off for a while, then got up and continued having sex with her. She clung tightly to my waist, pressing her vulva against me. I understood her eyes: I'm yours, I want to give myself to you completely. She wanted me to know she would definitely break up with her boyfriend. But the more determined her eyes were, the more I felt we had no future. In the end, I still ejaculated on her stomach. The next morning, we had already booked our return tickets. She left first, and I would see her off before leaving—that was her request. She also demanded that I die after her in the future; if I died first, she would be very lonely, she said loneliness was worse than death. When I saw her off at the SY station, she asked me to buy her some food. I went out and bought her some water and snacks. When I came back, she was holding a newspaper. Seeing me, she looked up and said, "Honey, there was an earthquake in Sichuan." I didn't think much of it, but looking at the completely black newspaper in her hand, I saw her onto the train. When I got home, I realized how serious the earthquake in Sichuan really was. After we went home, I tacitly accepted that she and her boyfriend were living together, but I couldn't call her at night, and we couldn't talk for too long during the day. One time, while she was working late, her boyfriend caught us talking on the phone. I overheard their awkward conversation and vaguely sensed his anger. During this time, we discussed buying a house. I bought it according to her request, intending it to be our wedding home. A month later, I strongly urged her to break up with him immediately, but she couldn't bring herself to do it whenever she saw the sadness in his eyes. One time, just as she mustered the courage to speak, her boyfriend spoke first. He said, "xxx, just stay with me and live a good life. I'll treat you well for the rest of my life. I plan to live for you for the rest of my life." She cried, unable to say what she wanted to say. I understood the situation and realized that continuing like this would ruin them, and that we couldn't be together anymore. So I decided to give up. I gave up decisively. She repeatedly emphasized that she would break up immediately, but I still refused. I said into the phone, "You belong to him. Love him well." From then on, we had no contact for over a year. During that time, I met my current wife, D. She's a simple, kind, and very well-behaved girl. I was determined to win her over, and within six months, I took her virginity. Looking at the bloodstains on the sheets, I knew I had found my home. I told my wife about my previous girlfriends, including H. After struggling for a few days, she accepted it. From then on, we went our separate ways, with no contact whatsoever. In the winter of 2010, I returned to the city where my school was located, which was also H's hometown. I thought she should be home for the New Year. I tried to contact her, and she was surprised, demanding that I not leave and that I wait for her the next day. The next day, we met, and first...We went to Wanda Cinema to see a movie, Ning Hao's "Crazy Racer." The funny movie cheered us up, but when her fair arm grabbed my hand again, I was in utter turmoil. I knew I could still sleep with her tonight, but thinking of my beloved wife, I didn't want to. Caught in this dilemma, the movie ended, and as we walked out, we ran into my college roommate. She and I were in the same class and very close. We tried to hide from him, but he saw us anyway. A voice behind us said "xxx," and we turned around. My roommate looked at us mockingly and said, "So, you two are together now?" She tried to explain, but it sounded so weak. We chatted for a while, then walked back to take her home. It was about ten kilometers, and we walked the whole way. You can imagine the temperature in northern China during the Lunar New Year; I was shivering and my lips were turning purple, but she wouldn't let me take a taxi. I had to walk with her. Finally, when we reached her building, she stopped and told me there was a hotel behind the building, and I could decide for myself what to do. I jokingly said, "I'm afraid of you in bed, I can't quite handle you." She yelled, "Then why don't you try a different position?" She then burst into tears. I hugged her and comforted her for a long time before she finally agreed to go home. Watching her go upstairs, I quickly jumped into a taxi and told the driver to turn the heater on full blast. On the way, I received several text messages from her: 1. You deserve to freeze to death. 2. You don't want me anymore. 3. I belong to him now. I didn't reply to a single one. From then on, we were worlds apart.
Last year, during a break from work, I suddenly thought of her. I still clearly remember her phone number. I tried searching for it on WeChat, and an English name popped up. I sent a friend request, and the message read, "A northern man who's always thinking of you." She quickly accepted. I tried to reminisce with her about those two nights at yum, but I noticed she was deliberately avoiding the topic. Later, I understood: a man might boast about sleeping with another man's wife, but for that wife, it's a secret to be buried forever. How could she casually bring it up? Looking at her WeChat Moments, I know she's living a happy life now, and she has two children. As I looked, I smiled. I know she's doing well, striving every day to be a good mother and a good wife. Instantly, I felt at peace. Everyone has their own destiny. Once you find your destiny, all that's left is to wait for the end of life. Whatever happens in between is just passing scenery, and the goal in front of you will never change. I hope she's doing well!
[The End]

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Stories from my youth

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