Xiaoqian's Self-Transformation Diary (1~3)

Chapter 1: Awakening My name is Ning Xiaoqian, 18 years old, female, 162cm, 46kg, fair-skinned and beautiful, seemingly quiet and cute.

I just started my freshman year of college, majoring in Clinical Medicine.

The story begins when I was twelve years old, in my first year of junior high school. I was just an ordinary, clueless little girl, nothing special, though my grades were among the top in the class.

Evening self-study was incredibly boring. Because of my good grades, the teachers would sometimes turn a blind eye if I skipped class.

Naturally, I would go to the nearby arcade.

My family was relatively well-off, and my allowance was much higher than my friends', so spending the entire evening self-study session at the arcade was no problem.

Perhaps I had an upset stomach, because I squatted in the arcade's toilet for more than ten minutes, but I didn't feel the urge to defecate at all.

Just as I was about to pull up my pants and leave, I heard a man's heavy breathing from next stall. Curious, I peeked through the crack under the toilet bowl and saw a pair of large leather shoes, probably as long as both of my feet. He seemed to be standing facing the toilet, which piqued my curiosity. He clearly wasn't using the toilet; what was he doing there? As I pondered this, the man pulled up his pants and left, without even washing his hands or flushing. It sounded like he just went straight out the door.

I cautiously peeked around; I was the only one in the toilet. Curiosity drove me to quickly enter the next stall and lock the door.

My thought was simple: this man must be hiding something from me. I examined the toilet bowl—it wasn't yellow at all—so he definitely wasn't using it.

After searching carefully for a while, I found a large puddle of white liquid on the wall.

What was this? As a junior high student, I had absolutely no knowledge of such things. I sniffed it carefully; it had a fishy smell.

I touched it; it was sticky.

I scraped the white liquid off with my hand and stirred it with my other hand, finding it increasingly viscous. I tried to pour it into the toilet, but it stuck to my hands. What to do?

I thought, "Just wash it off!" I went out of the bathroom and turned on the tap, only to find that it hadn't washed away; instead, it had turned into tiny, incredibly sticky balls stuck to my hands. What to do? I went back to the bathroom, thinking, "This stuff is sticky, like boogers. Maybe it's that man's boogers from earlier." I've had a habit since childhood that no one knows about—I like to eat boogers. They taste salty and delicious. After being told off a few times, I never dared to do it openly again.

Thinking this, I licked the white balls into my mouth. They did taste a bit like boogers, and more importantly, this method would free me from this predicament of sticky solids on my hands.

I licked each white object into my mouth. What to do with them in the end? Since they were small balls, the fishy smell was reduced. I thought it would be easier to just swallow them.

After doing all that, I don't know why, my face turned a little red, and I felt very ashamed, probably because I ate someone else's boogers.

This was just a small episode in my life; I didn't tell anyone, and I quickly forgot about it, but like a seed buried in the soil, it will one day take root, sprout, and break through the earth.

Today is my thirteenth birthday, and my birthday present is a smartphone, an iPhone 4s.

Before, I had always used a Nokia candybar phone, so getting such a work of art made me incredibly excited. I explored the phone, and it could access the internet, play music, and watch videos—it was simply amazing. After

a few days of figuring it out, I completely mastered how to use the phone, and at the same time, I encountered the internet for the first time. There were so many new things online, things I had never seen or heard of before.

Many people online would say things I didn't understand, and that's when Baidu became my good helper; I would look up anything I didn't understand.

One day, quite by chance, I entered a pornographic website. At the time, I didn't know what a pornographic website was. It was my first time encountering this kind of information, and I blushed furiously, hiding under the covers, too ashamed to peek out.

I realized that what I had eaten before was a man's semen. Oh my god, I had actually swallowed a stranger's semen! My face turned bright red, my whole body trembled, and a strange sensation spread from my lower abdomen. I rubbed the corner of the blanket between my legs, the more I rubbed, the more pleasurable it felt. Imagining myself swallowing semen, watching pretty women on websites eating men's genitals, I had my first orgasm.

From then on, there was no stopping me.

Instead of going out to play or to the library on weekends, I spent the whole day on my phone watching pornographic websites. Looking back now, it was truly fate. That pornographic website was incredibly extreme; there was very little normal sexual content, mostly exhibitionism, SM, swallowing semen, feces and urine, piercing, and the like. Young and completely lacking in related knowledge, I was exposed to a massive amount of extreme information. If I had received normal sex education from the beginning, I might have known that these actions were inappropriate, but because of my coincidental experience of swallowing semen, coupled with my first orgasm while watching related content, I quickly and unreservedly accepted this extreme content.

Even worse, I came across a book called "The Complete Manual of Transformation into a Perverted Woman's Body," which detailed how to physically and mentally modify normal women, ultimately turning them into complete perverts.

The book ended with a picture of the finished product: a very beautiful woman with snow-white skin, blonde hair, and black eyes, her entire body bound by ropes, hanging face down in the air. Her nipples wore cross-shaped ornaments, supported by structures to keep them erect. Her labia had numerous piercings and rings, her anus was stretched taut by a vaginal speculum, and a vibrator was inserted into her vagina. The rings on her labia were tied with ropes to prevent the vibrator from falling out.

She was truly beautiful, looking at me on the screen with a blissful expression. Looking into her eyes, I fell into deep thought. Why did she look so happy? Did I want to become like her?

This question deeply affected me. I put down my phone, ran to the window, and looked at the bustling crowd below, like ants. I didn't want that kind of life, did I? School was so boring, but these websites gave me a completely different experience, a joy I'd never felt before. Shouldn't I take it a step further? Didn't I want to become her? This woman I'd never interacted with before—what a special person she was!

I pondered for a long time on the balcony until the sun was almost setting. I looked up at the sunset and made a decision: I would follow this guide step by step to become her.

I wanted a life different from ordinary people, not just studying, exams, work, and life, not just living a life of routine like my parents. My life should be my own to control, and my first goal was to try some small things first.

After making this decision, I vaguely felt that this was a path from which there was no turning back.

Chapter Two: The First Test Next, I began to implement the first phase of the plan.

Phase One: Video Brainwashing, Psychological Transformation Overall Goals: 1. Always be naked, unless seen by others.

2. Never wear underwear in any situation.

3. Associating the smell of urine and feces with sexual pleasure, and only masturbating by holding urine in the mouth and smelling feces.

4. Watching various extreme videos for more than 8 hours per week.

5. Being naked outdoors at least once a month.

Daily Plan 1: Be naked whenever no one can see you.

The first thing to do is sleep naked. Since I can remember, I have always slept in clothes. I never thought I could sleep naked. From today onwards, I will say goodbye to sleeping in clothes.

At 10 pm, when it's time to go to bed, I secretly took off all my clothes in bed and put them under my pillow. The feeling of my skin directly contacting the blanket was quite novel. My nipples stood up because of the cold blanket, which made me feel ashamed. I felt my hands and feet getting cold because of nervousness, afraid that my parents would come in and find out.

Slowly, I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I felt completely refreshed. This was the right way to sleep, I thought to myself, I've taken a small step in overcoming myself. Sleeping naked is really comfortable.

For the next week, I didn't make any other plans. I would sneak out of bed in the morning to avoid being discovered by my parents.

On Saturday, I was home alone, and it was time to carry out my second plan.

The second thing to do was to engage in nude activities and develop the habit of not wearing clothes. My parents weren't home on weekends because of work, which gave me the opportunity to carry out my plan.

I woke up at eight o'clock in the morning. My parents had already left. I woke up from the covers. Today I didn't need to wear clothes. I simply threw off the covers. The room temperature was still a bit cold, and a row of goosebumps immediately appeared on my hands. But that didn't stop me. I found the air conditioner remote and turned the room temperature up to 30 degrees Celsius.

Washing up and eating naked felt quite novel. Without the constraints of clothes, I felt much more relaxed.

After dinner, I opened my phone to read an exhibitionist novel. Perhaps because I wasn't wearing any clothes, I found myself unconsciously immersing myself in the protagonist's world. My pubic area felt faintly itchy, and my limbs went weak. I imagined myself naked, hiding in the men's restroom, with men using the toilet next door. I imagined a beautiful, naked girl masturbating in the toilet, and as I imagined it, I closed my eyes, feeling truly in that environment. I touched my still-unsensitive clitoris and rubbed my nipples.

Gradually, my nipples became sensitive, tingling like an electric shock, and my clitoris became numb and tingling. With a sudden stiffness, I orgasmed.

After the orgasm, I felt weak and just wanted to close my eyes and sleep, but remembering I still had a task to complete, I forced myself to continue reading.

I felt I shouldn't have masturbated; I hadn't expected to feel so tired after an orgasm.

After a few minutes, I recovered and continued reading the exhibitionist novel, but I wouldn't masturbate anymore; completing the task was more important.

The more I read, the more restless I became. I longed to be a character in the novel, to actually expose myself. But today's plan didn't include practice, and according to the original plan, I still needed two more days of the same nude training and exposure novel brainwashing before I could actually do it.

At 5 PM, my parents were almost home. I adjusted the air conditioner temperature, turned it off, and opened the window. Since there were no other buildings across the street, I didn't need to worry about being seen.

Just then, I received a call from my mother saying they had an emergency at work and needed to go on a business trip for a week.

My parents going on business trips was nothing new to me. I told them I would be careful.

After hanging up, my first thought was that this was a perfect opportunity to put my monthly plan into action.

Chapter 3: Monthly Exposure Plan One: Outdoor Exposure Once.

For me, this was my first step outside the house. I understood the difference. Before, it was all small-scale. At home, no matter what I did, I always had a deep-rooted sense of security. But outside the house, it was different. I might be discovered, exposed, raped, or my parents and friends might find out, potentially ruining my life.

But I've made my decision to stick to the plan. To avoid the aforementioned situations, I need to be fully prepared.

First, there's the key. I have a spare key at home, and to ensure I can get in, I secretly put it in a flowerpot by the door instead of carrying it with me, since I'll be moving around naked, and it's easy to lose it if I'm carrying it.

Second, I've decided on a one-hour activity range within the residential complex. The floors and rooftops are in good condition. To avoid being discovered and triggering motion-activated lights, I've decided to wear my white dance shoes.

I've observed the complex's facilities on my way to and from school, and I've prepared for plan three. My route is: starting from home, I'll take the fire escape route—no one would use the fire escape route if there's an elevator.

After reaching the first floor, I'll exit through the underground parking garage, avoiding the security cameras at the front and back doors.

Then, I'll walk along the cobblestone path in the complex, shaded by trees so I won't be seen by people upstairs. I'll reach the side gate, climb over the low wall to the abandoned construction site next door. This site has been abandoned for several years, and it's pitch black at night. I'll walk around the site and return via the same route.

I left at 1 a.m., when there are few people around, and I

planned to return at 2 a.m. to go to sleep. At 1 a.m., I quietly opened the door. The hallway was pitch black. I stealthily slipped out, placed the key in the flowerpot by the door, and quietly closed the door. Unexpectedly, the door slammed shut with a surprisingly loud noise, triggering the motion-activated switch. Instantly, the hallway lights came on, and I was gripped by immense fear. A jolt of electricity shot from my tailbone to the top of my head—something I hadn't anticipated. Under the lights, a snow-white, naked body lay exposed in the hallway, completely exposed. If anyone stepped out of the elevator or a neighbor came out of their apartment, I would have nowhere to hide. If this happened, my life might be over. The overwhelming fear made my legs feel like lead; I couldn't move. My mind went blank. I felt my heart pounding in my throat, and I struggled to breathe. Slowly, unconsciously, I collapsed, kneeling on the floor.

After a while, the lights went out, and slowly, my consciousness returned. Feeling the cold air and my labia directly touching the ground, I shivered. I couldn't sit there; I had to be careful since I was already out. My hands and feet gradually regained feeling, and I slowly stood up and tiptoed into the fire escape. Once inside,

I felt a little more at ease. Most people don't use fire escapes during the day, let alone at night. I tried to walk as quietly as possible. My apartment is on the eighth floor. When I reached the third floor, I heard a "ding," and someone got out of the elevator on the second floor. I hadn't expected someone to actually come home in the middle of the night. I held my breath and waited half a minute after the person opened the door and went inside before continuing. I didn't know if it was a man or a woman coming home so late.

Reaching the parking lot went smoothly, but the next short stretch was a bit risky. I needed to run out of the underground parking lot entrance, and if a car drove in from there, I'd have nowhere to run. Thinking it was late, I figured I wouldn't be that unlucky. I took a few deep breaths and ran quickly towards the exit, not caring about the noise anymore.

In less than half a minute, I was on the path in the residential area. Stopping, I realized I was sweating profusely, but then I thought, I'm halfway there, and felt a little smug.

Walking on the cobblestone path, my thin cloth shoes felt quite uncomfortable, so I didn't dare walk fast. Luckily, I didn't encounter anyone. If I had, my plan was to hide in the small trees on either side, but that would have meant getting scratched.

I successfully reached the low wall. Climbing over it was easy for me; the wall wasn't very high. However, it was still a bit unexpected. My nipples and labia, bare of clothing, rubbed slightly against the concrete wall, but I was still in a rather excited state and didn't care.

Entering the construction site, I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. This site had been deserted for years; I'd heard the developer had absconded, leaving behind an unfinished building. There were only a few piles of sand and bricks on the site, surrounded by construction boards, and the air above was completely open, so I didn't have to worry about being seen.

Walking on the open ground, I felt incredibly free, without any constraints. Before, I had always been bound by various restrictions; now, I felt truly alive.

Looking at the half-built building, a strong urge welled up within me: I wanted to stand on the roof and overlook the city. I had played on this construction site as a child, so I knew the way well. I headed towards the stairs.

The construction site was dark and quiet at night, but thankfully the moonlight was bright. Under the moonlight, I walked through the abandoned building. I didn't go straight to the roof, but stopped and explored each floor. At that moment, I wasn't a thirteen-year-old girl, but a naked primitive, exploring the city's forgotten treasures.

I took off my shoes and left them at the bottom of the stairs. I didn't want to explore this wasteland in shoes. I went barefoot, and the pebbles made my feet hurt a little, but I didn't care. Primitive people didn't have shoes. Now we can't walk without shoes, which is actually a kind of regression.

I walked through the abandoned building and found a pile of excrement, black and hard, like stone. I tried to squeeze it, and it crumbled into powder like a clod of dirt.

I thought that excrement doesn't necessarily have to be discharged in a toilet. In nature, there are no toilets; people always relieve themselves wherever they want, eventually turning into dirt.

Thinking of this, I squatted down and defecated next to it. I thought that would be my mark, like saying "I was here."

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel happy.

At this moment, I no longer felt any tension, only relaxation. I went to the rooftop. It was empty. I could overlook the entire city at night, silent and vast.

I lay down, the unexpected warmth of the roof against my back. Looking at the stars, I felt how insignificant humanity is. Life is filled with rules, rules created by humans. So why should I abide by them? Is it for pleasure? I don't think so. Since implementing these plans, each step has brought immense pleasure, a feeling of breaking through another layer of constraints. Isn't this what it means to be human?

I thought of the older sister bound in her clothes. Her constraints were external, a choice she made, while the liberation was internal, fundamental. I

had only intended to try the easy things, but now I truly felt that I could choose to accept this transformation, and I was willing to accept it, from mind to body. I could transform myself into anything I desired.

I stood up, moonlight shining on my smooth skin. Looking at the city twinkling with lights, who would imagine that a beautiful young woman, naked, was watching them from a rooftop?

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Xiaoqian's Self-Transformation Diary (1~3)

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