Chapter 46 of "A Wife's Heart is Like a Knife"

Author: Yao
Published: November 18, 2017
Original: Yes
First Published: No
Later that afternoon, the front desk customer service suddenly told me that Ai Momo had called me.
Every afternoon before I leave work, I have a short break where I'm almost done with my work, a
relatively quiet time of day. Her call happened to come at that time.
When I answered, Ai Momo was very polite. We talked about a project involving company cooperation. I maintained a polite
and friendly demeanor and offered her some enthusiastic personal advice. This woman is very shrewd in business; she immediately
understood what I meant and, pleased, said she wanted to treat me to dinner that evening.
I politely declined.
Too much has happened lately. She is Lin Qian's boss and friend. Some things I always feel
are too sensitive to. I don't want to make things too complicated in my personal life.
Actually, I'm in a pretty good mood.
After work, I stood in the corridor looking out the window at the distant scenery. My eyes felt comfortable; the sky was blue and clean
—like a clean bed sheet.
Xiao Gong left work ten minutes later than me. I stood there for a short while when I heard him and a few former colleagues
talking as they came out together.
These guys were actually still planning to go to that street to wait for their goddess.
And following them was Old Cai, that seemingly respectable married older man.
They greeted me as they passed by.
Xiao Gong then gestured to the people next to him, "Today is Thursday, my lucky day! I have a feeling I
'll definitely meet my goddess!"
I interjected, "Let's not go waiting like fools tonight. I'll treat you all to dinner.
It's time to keep my promise from a few days ago."
They all turned to look at me. To my surprise, this group disagreed. "We've been waiting for
days. It might happen today."
"Persistence is the mother of success,"
Old Cai said awkwardly, remaining silent.
"Alright," I smiled, "I'll go with you guys. Join the brothers' activity; if she
doesn't come, we'll eat later."
This decision made them cheer.
I then turned around and called Lin Qian at the corner, telling her I wouldn't be waiting for me for dinner.
I rarely have social engagements, so she naturally had no objections.
In short, that evening, I waited alone on the long street with my bunch of idiotic colleagues, watching
the wind scatter white plastic bags from one side of the street to the other.
Then we'd go out for dinner together.
When I got home, it was already past 9:40, and Lin Qian was already asleep.
The house was quiet. The city lights outside the window spilled into the house, making everything seem like it was floating in clear water.
I drank quite a bit, but I seemed too sober to sleep. I went to the study and went online for a while, but it
was boring; there wasn't anything interesting. I showered and went to bed. In the darkness, I could hear Lin Qian's healthy, steady breathing and 　　the chirping of insects outside
the curtains. I tossed and 　　turned in bed, unable to sleep. 　　I don't know how much time had passed when her other phone suddenly lit up. Because she had gotten up early that morning, it was to make 　　it easier for her to get out of bed. I usually sleep on the inside of the bed. 　　My phone is on the bedside table on the outside. 　　I reached over and picked it up; it was a timed alarm. I turned it on and saw it said, "Wake your husband to sleep 　　." 　　I was a little speechless. I checked the time; it was 10:30. Lin Qian probably does come to 　　the study around this time every night to ask me to go to sleep. I just hadn't noticed. 　　I rarely look at her phone. In all these years of marriage, she's really rarely given me any trouble. She rarely uses 　　chat apps either; she's only added a few family and relatives to WeChat. I scrolled through it, but there wasn't anything interesting. 　　QQ was still automatically running on her phone. 　　She'd been using QQ since it first became popular, but she just left it running and rarely 　　chatted with anyone. Online, she was actually quite aloof. She never had the habit of online chatting. 　　I couldn't sleep, so I sat there bored and scrolled through it for a while. Her QQ account was locked. I tried a few 　　passwords; they were the first letters of both our names plus my birthday. I hadn't really thought about what she would write. 　　But there was something there, and judging by the date, it was written a few days ago. 　　The content: 　　From *Gone with the Wind*: "I've never been the kind of person who can patiently pick up the pieces, put them back together 　　, and tell myself that the repaired thing is exactly the same as new. Something broken is 　　broken. I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than repair it and spend my life looking at the 　　cracks." 　　I accidentally flipped through my diary and found a passage from *Gone with the Wind* that I had copied when I was nineteen. 　　Back then, I had copied it onto the first page of my diary. 　　But now, that passage makes me feel like the whole world is full of wounds. 　　Regarding love, I am guilty… 　　Sometimes, I think, if time could go back, and my younger self could judge my present 　　self, 　　she would sentence me to death without hesitation… 　　But 　　what if my future self judged my present self? What would the answer be? 　　I might hesitate, and I might say, "She's guilty, but she didn't mean it; she just lost control for a moment 　　..." 　　But how can I defend myself between my past self and my future self? 　　There are many things I can't explain myself. Why did it come to this...? 　　What's gone from my heart is my former rationality; I've become irrational, driven only by desire. 　　It's like seeing news reports of women having relations with dogs. I've seen such news before and found it particularly disgusting 　　. But how am I any different now... 　　? ... 　　When I was a child, my family had a white cat. That big cat was very beautiful, with long fur. I loved it very much 　　.

Later, we adopted a puppy. Then the big cat would often go into the doghouse, grab the
puppy, hug it, and slowly prick it with its teeth. The puppy would yelp in pain.
It was too small to escape. The cat wouldn't actually hurt it, but it deliberately made it
cry out in agony.
I hated this cat, so I always asked my mother to keep it on a leash. But as soon as it was let go, it would
do those bad things again. The adults weren't always in the mood to deal with these things. So I really hated it.
That cowardly, weak man, who trembled at the slightest threat and couldn't refuse any threats… he stole
my photo, I caught him red-handed, and
I watched him tremble like a frog. I've never met such a timid and cowardly person. I don't know why,
but suddenly I had this crazy urge to bully him, to torment him...
I never thought I'd have such a strong desire for this kind of thing, and it's gotten out of control...
...
I've done the kind of thing I hate most...
...These past few days, I've been constantly worried that my husband has found out something. I'm
constantly worried...
I love him so much, and this feeling makes me feel utterly despicable...
...If this is discovered... it would be so cruel to him... I can't bear to think about the consequences...
I think I should stop.
...I must go back to my old life... No matter what, I should restrain myself and let life return to
normal...
(End of text).
I leaned against the headboard.
Lin Qian slept peacefully in the darkness, looking like a child.
"How should I face this?"
If she really wanted to escape the current situation and separate from Yang Taozi...
Sometimes, it's hard for men to forgive a cheating woman. But often, I think she
probably doesn't even understand why she's like this.
I reflected on this in the darkness. Did I reveal too much of my unapproachable side to her? Did I make her always try
to maintain her most perfect image in front of me? Or perhaps, because she loves me, she doesn't dare let me see anything wrong with her. But in
front of Yang Taozi, she doesn't care, so she doesn't need to hide herself…
I can't quite understand it…
…
The next morning at ten o'clock.
I was certain that Yang Taozi had arrived at the construction site in another city. Those who went with her had
card swipe records. I could check them on the intranet and even monitor the project's progress. Many technologies of the internet age
have made distance no longer a problem.
Of course, Yang was ultimately exceptionally hired as a foreman. This gives me more control over the
matter.
Regardless of the past
, I think I should try to bring Lin Qian back to her original state.
Around four o'clock in the afternoon, near the end of the workday,
Xiao Gong suddenly arrived. He put the report on the table but didn't leave. Instead, he mysteriously ran to my side with a
fawning expression.
I looked up at him, puzzled. "Is there anything else?"
he asked with a smile. "Boss, what did you do with the camera card after you came back from the meeting that day?"
I looked at him, confused. After coming back from the meeting that day, I had actually
deleted the few photos I'd taken from the camera. I'd taken them on impulse, but I was careful not to leave anything behind. I
didn't take the camera home; I left it at the company.
Xiao Gong and I had always gotten along well at the company.
However, he was the kind of person who was completely clueless. He didn't know how to flatter his superiors, and he lacked enthusiasm at work—he was
only active after work.
So his expression looked a bit strange to me. "What's up?"
He took out the card, inserted it into the card reader, and asked in a low voice, "Did you take the camera card
home the other day and copy something?"
"What?"
"Hey, stop pretending. There's an AV cover on that card. Luckily, when the boss asked for the camera this morning
, I opened the card and took a look. Otherwise, you would have been so embarrassed."
It was almost time to leave work. Some people were passing by outside. A few colleagues who were closer to me saw Xiao Gong in my
office and rushed in.
"What's going on?"
"Trying to treat us today?!" someone shamelessly asked.
Xiao Gong gestured for them to be quiet and went to close the door first. He opened the photo on the card on the computer,
but it opened very slowly.
The colleague next to him joked, "What's going on, so mysterious?"
As he spoke, the image on the computer slowly opened.
It was a high-definition photo.
It was a close-up—a woman's spread, white legs occupied the lower half of the image. Between her
legs, thick black pubic hair clung, and her pink labia were a contracting circle. You could even see
part of the scarlet inner wall.
White fluid was gushing out, a few drops even darting through the air.
At the edge of the frame, a man's enormous black glans was blurred because it wasn't on the same plane
. This only made the woman's genitals in the center of the frame appear even clearer and more terrifying.
Anyone could see this was the end of intercourse, a
scene of a man just pulling his penis out.
The flying white fluid,
the woman's full vulva still open, a large hole. The size of the hole seemed to say:
how big was what had been inserted?
This perspective and environment were what I saw at the meeting that day…
This was Lin Qian's…
Seeing this in public now, I suddenly felt a burning pain, as if I were being scalded by fire.
Those nearby shouted excitedly, "Holy crap!!!"
"Insemination! That's really extreme!!"
"A massacre! So much semen, is this for real?!"
What's going on?
This definitely wasn't taken by me…
Xiao Gong said to everyone, "This is why I came to see the boss. This card has this high-resolution picture on it
." He glanced furtively at the door as he spoke, then smiled at me.
I felt an indescribable burning pain in my heart, like a scabbed wound being reopened.
I clearly didn't take any of these pictures that day. Where did this come from?!
My brain seemed to slow down as I processed these thoughts. Judging from the timeline, this content must have been
taken after I left… because I clearly remember that Yang Taozi hadn't ejaculated before I left…
Could it be that after I left yesterday, someone secretly looked at the camera and took these pictures?!
I looked around at the people in the room: Is someone in the company trying to blackmail me with this?!
I felt more furious than worried!
The events of the past few days had already driven me a little crazy.
Who?
Who!
I slammed my hand on the table, my eyes red as I looked at Xiao Gong.
He didn't notice my change at all, and was still telling his colleague next to him, "Just looking at this picture today, I
masturbated three times in the bathroom. It was so awesome."
His appearance was lewd and unpleasant.
But he didn't seem to be plotting anything. Otherwise,
what would he mean by showing it to so many people if he wanted to threaten me? To threaten someone, you first need to prevent the matter from being exposed.
So who could it be?
I heard these people discussing, "This actress is pretty good, and she's got a pink pussy. Looks like she doesn't have many fans.
Her butt is round and white."
Xiao Gong said very seriously, "I've been liking women with this kind of figure lately. Don't you guys think this butt looks like
the goddess we're waiting for..."
Another said, "You know, this round butt looks a bit like the goddess we photographed on the street."
I can't describe my own feelings. My face didn't react, but my whole body felt like it was burning up, and my mind
was replaying the events of that day frame by frame.
That day, after I went on stage, I kept paying attention to my seat. Because I was already worried about this kind of
thing, I turned off the screen before leaving.
I was very careful.
I didn't see anyone sit in my seat after I left.
If I was distracted during that time, it was only for a very short period.
Besides, no one in the company knows Lin Qian. I never bring her to the company. That day she came to
see me; it was actually her first time here.
Does anyone know about our relationship?
I can't think of anything…
In the end, I decided to leave for now—
perhaps it wasn't someone plotting against me…
When I went on stage that day, I got up rather hastily, and to avoid being noticed, I reached
my hand into the curtains and turned off the screen. Could I have pressed the wrong button…?
That's also a possibility.
Whatever happened, I suspected the content was probably a video, not a picture, because of
the format issue; it wouldn't display on the camera. Otherwise, I would have discovered it by now…
As I pondered these questions, Xiao Gong shamelessly ran over and begged, “Big brother, what's this code? Can you
copy the original so I can see it? Good stuff, we should share it!”
The others chimed in, “Boss, this is a perk, we should share it.”
“Yeah. I’ve copied a lot for you before.”
“It’s Hara Saori’s film, I copied it for everyone. Boss, you can’t keep it to yourself.”
I sat there somewhat sullenly. I usually joked around with them and had indeed copied quite a few of those things. Back
then, I copied them behind Lin Qian’s back, always worried she would be angry if she saw them. I always thought she was too traditional to accept
these things, but now I just think it’s a huge joke.
This incident caught me off guard
… My biggest worry now is that someone will discover some clues about the content of the picture. After all, although
you can’t see faces in the photo… But the background of my bed and floor looked jarring… How could such a photo have been
in the camera for so long?!
While I was thinking this, those guys were discussing again, “Xiao Gong, didn’t you try searching for the image on Baidu
?”
Xiao Gong replied, “I tried, but nothing. Is this a new video, boss?”
Xiao Gong is the company’s veteran. He’s the one who posts torrents and such. If he can’t find it, then
no one else can.
Someone said, “Why don’t we post the image on some forums we frequent and ask? Maybe…”
By this time, I had calmed down.
This image is most likely a video. It’s just that the format is very rare. That’s why it’s displayed as an image on the computer
. I was worried that they would take it and play it carelessly, seeing things they shouldn’t, which would be
even more troublesome. Putting it online would be even more dangerous.
“Did you copy this to your hard drive?” I asked.
Xiao Gong turned around and said, "Of course I'll back up this good stuff to my external hard drive. Boss, do you want
my 3TB hard drive?"
Because the company computers are on an intranet, Xiao Gong wouldn't dare copy these things directly to the computer. He must have backed them up
on his external hard drive.
He suddenly excitedly pounced on the table and said, "Boss, we've been obsessed with goddesses with this kind of figure lately. Bring
this video over, how about I lend you my hard drive for three days? Boss, you wouldn't be that selfish, would you?"
Someone next to him added, "If it's hard to copy, upload it to the cloud. It's hard to download on the company intranet, but
you can watch it secretly online."
My mood turned sour.
I put my hand on the table, remained silent for a few seconds, and said with an indifferent expression, "Okay.
I'll bring it to you tomorrow. You can let me play with your hard drive for a few days."
At this point, I could only take it one step at a time.
"Great! This is my collection of many years. Boss, you definitely won't be disappointed."
I said calmly, "There's nothing to see. If you want to see it, I'll look for it." I added.
I glanced at it once. "Actually, there's really nothing to see."
Before leaving, Xiao Gong reminded me, "The boss said we need a camera for an event tomorrow morning. The camera and memory card
must be at HR tomorrow morning..."
"Got it."
I spent the entire afternoon in that oppressive atmosphere.
That German camera felt like a highly venomous cobra to me. I hid it away in a secret place under my desk
.
I left work exceptionally early. [To be continued]
...
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Chapter 46 of "A Wife's Heart is Like a Knife"

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