Forced by classmates

I have a rather effeminate appearance, and my classmates have never really liked me. One weekend, a few classmates invited me to someone's house. I was happy and went with three or four of them. They ended up watching porn in the living room. They said it was too hot, so they took off their clothes, leaving only their underwear. I was embarrassed to take mine off, and they teased me about it, so I gritted my teeth and followed suit. It was my first time watching porn, and after only a short while, I started blushing and my heart was racing; I felt like I was having a physical reaction. I peeked at the others, and they seemed to have erections too. After watching one scene of intercourse, the second scene shocked everyone because it showed two boys performing oral sex. Some classmates said it was disgusting and wanted to turn off the TV, but the others said, "Let's see how homosexuals have sex." Later, the people in the video were doing anal sex, which I found disgusting. I said I wanted to go home, but they dragged me into the bedroom and pinned me to the bed. They said, "Since you're almost like a woman, we'll just use you to see what it feels like to be performed on." Several men held my shoulders and head down. One of my classmates pulled down his underwear and shoved his penis into my mouth. A disgusting fishy smell filled my mouth. I wanted to vomit and try to escape, but they punched and kicked me. I had no choice but to obey and take turns sucking their penises. Then one of them ejaculated in my mouth. I wanted to spit it out, but they forced me to swallow it like in porn movies. I was afraid they would beat me again, so I had to swallow it. The others who hadn't ejaculated yet suggested trying anal sex. I screamed and tried to run away, but they slapped me several times. They held me down, saying they were going to penetrate me, but they pushed and shoved each other, and no one dared to go first. Then one of them pounced on my back and forcefully thrust his penis into my anus. It hurt so much, but he told the others that he never expected anal sex to be so pleasurable! He held my waist and kept thrusting into my anus. Then I felt a warm rush, and I realized he had ejaculated. But as soon as he pulled out, a second man thrust in. After he ejaculated, a third man, and a fourth man, followed suit. After all four of them finished, they forced me to masturbate in front of them. I had no choice but to masturbate in front of them. Because I was so nervous, it took me a long time to ejaculate. Then they made me eat all the semen, so I had to swallow it all. After I finished, they pinned me down and each of them fucked me hard again. When I got home, my buttocks were so sore that I couldn't walk, but I didn't dare tell my parents, so I just endured it. It took about two weeks to recover. However, because my gait was strange, they were afraid that someone would find out. They weren't relieved until I was completely healed, so they didn't dare to anally fuck me anymore, but they still often made me give them oral sex. At first, it was just going to someone's house after school for oral sex. Later, sometimes they would take me to the boys' restroom and make me perform oral sex on them in the toilet stalls. I did this for over a year. Then, one boy offered to perform oral sex on me, saying he wanted to know what it felt like to suck someone else's penis. We often performed oral sex on each other, and he became my first gay boyfriend. We didn't break up until high school.
Actually, I was only in my second year of junior high at the time. Although I had been gang-raped by my classmates and had a steady boyfriend, I wasn't sure if I was gay. My boyfriend wasn't actually gay; he was just not good-looking, and no girls wanted him, so he used me as a sex object. With him protecting me, I was rarely taken advantage of by others afterward, although they would still occasionally take turns having sex with me. My boyfriend, out of some bullshit sense of loyalty, would treat me like a gift to share with his friends. Later, in high school, because we went to different high schools, I separated from that group of people. In my first year of high school, my boyfriend would occasionally come to see me, but then I lost contact with him. In high school, I tried to date, but I was still interested in boys. There was a very handsome senior in the guitar club, and I joined because of him. However, he never paid any attention to me. Although I tried every means to get close to him, he seemed to dislike effeminate guys like me. But unexpectedly, in order to get closer to him, I met his friend, Senior A-Mao. Senior A-Mao was very handsome, but his only flaw was that he was very fat, as fat as a pig. At first, I didn't want to talk to him, but he often took care of me and was very nice to me. Although I didn't say anything, it seems that after a while, we got together. Unlike the guys in junior high, Senior A-Mao didn't do anything to me until the second semester of my first year of high school. He just liked to hug and kiss me. Sometimes, if he went a little too far, he would touch my genitals through my pants. Sometimes I would touch him too, but he didn't like me touching him. That was because he was too fat, and his genitals had become a little small, so he felt a little inferior. He told me this himself before we had sex for the first time. Actually, I think we're somewhat in the same boat. It seems like both overweight and over-weight guys have a hard time finding someone who likes them. I remember the first time we did it, he originally wanted me to lie down so he could penetrate me from behind, but Ah Mao couldn't get in after a long time. Then he wanted me to lie face down and press himself against me to try and penetrate me, but he would only manage to get in once before slipping out. Later I realized it was because Ah Mao was too fat; his thighs were very thick and his belly was very large, so his penis was somewhat sunken into the flesh, and even when erect, it was very short. So I had Ah Mao lie down, and I sat on top of him, holding his penis with my hands, and sat down so he could penetrate me. This position felt great for him, but it was tiring for me because afterwards, every time we had sex, he would lie down while I rode on top of him. We stayed together until I graduated from high school. Later, I got into Tunghai University, while Ah-Mao failed the entrance exam and stayed in Taipei to retake it. We gradually saw each other less and less. Later, I met the third man in my life, whose name was Shen Xi-Yi. Meeting Ah-Yi was a very interesting story. I remember on my first day in the department, all four classes were in the same classroom. The seats were long and narrow, and I sat in the corner of the last row. Near the end of the first get out of class, a boy came into the classroom and sat next to me. He ignored me for all four classes that morning, but at noon, he actually invited me to lunch. He said his name was Shen Xi-Yi, and I could just call him Ah-Yi. Then he rode his bike and gave me a ride to eat off-campus. While we were eating, he asked me where I lived. I said I rented a place nearby. Unexpectedly, he said he wanted to visit, and I couldn't refuse, so I took him there. Who knew that as soon as he arrived at my place, he said he wanted to sleep for a bit, so he took off his clothes, leaving only his underwear, and lay down on my bed. Only then did he ask if I minded him sleeping there for the afternoon, and of course I had to say no. I guessed A-Yi was an indigenous person because his face was deep-set and his skin was darker than average, and later it turned out I was right. A-Yi lay on the bed chatting with me. I noticed he had a great physique, large pectoral muscles, and even six-pack abs. Best of all, he had a huge bulge in his underwear, which made me a little excited… Suddenly, A-Yi said, “Are you gay?” I was startled and instinctively denied it. He said, “Don’t pretend, I can tell at a glance. If you weren’t gay, why would you keep staring at my penis?” I said, “I’m not gay!” A-Yi said he didn’t actually mind being friends with gay people. In fact, he had a high school classmate who got into Tunghai University this year, but in a different department, named Luo Mingx, who was gay, and they had been friends for many years. Ah Yi also said that he and Xiao Mingming (Luo Mingx's nickname) had done "that kind of thing" before. I thought he was serious, but I also felt he was talking nonsense. I said, "Bullshit! Are you trying to trick me?" Ah Yi said, "If you don't believe me, fine. Do you want to sleep together? I don't mind you holding me while we sleep!" Actually, I was a little tempted, but I didn't dare, so I said I didn't want to sleep. Ah Yi then told me to keep an eye on the time and wake him up before class. ...
Later, he really fell asleep, and I kept staring at his body until it was time to get ready for class. ... That night, I was thinking about Ah Yi while masturbating. The next day, we had different classes, so we agreed to meet at the bulletin board in front of the department. He brought a very refined-looking guy, who was actually a bit effeminate and a bit like me. Ah Yi introduced him as Xiao Mingming. When A-Yi called Xiao-Ming-Ming, he deliberately made his voice sound disgusting, but Xiao-Ming-Ming seemed very happy. My gay intuition told me that Xiao-Ming-Ming really liked A-Yi. Conversely, Xiao-Ming-Ming was full of hostility towards me at the time. Later, when we had a chance to chat privately, I learned that Xiao-Ming-Ming had heard A-Yi say I was also gay, and instinctively saw me as a rival. I laughed and said, "Your A-Yi is indeed very attractive, but I'm not interested in him!" Of course, that was a lie, but later, things got out of control...
Xiao Mingming told me his guess: he thought A Yi wanted to pair me up with him, but the truth was that it was just A Yi's wishful thinking. Xiao Mingming and I were actually the same kind of people; we both longed for a strong embrace. To put it crudely, we both wanted to be slept with; we were both bottoms. To put it more humorously, if Xiao Mingming and I were together, wouldn't we be "lesbians"? However, neither of us intended to hurt A Yi. During our freshman year, nothing really happened. Sometimes we'd go drinking by Donghai Lake, stroll along the paths in the back mountains, and sometimes A Yi and Xiao Mingming would sleep at my place. A Yi often said he didn't mind us touching him, but we knew perfectly well he wasn't gay; at most, we'd just hug him while we slept. In our sophomore year, something we didn't want to happen happened. A Yi got a girlfriend majoring in Chinese literature, and the time he spent with us gradually decreased. After his girlfriend found out we were gay, she became very sensitive, restricting A Yi's actions in every way. A Yi, in turn, became indifferent to women, keeping a proper distance from us. Later, in the second semester of our sophomore year, A-Yi broke up with his girlfriend. The reason was unclear, and A-Yi wouldn't say. However, his girlfriend thought we had led him astray, and she went to the department to make a scene, even spreading rumors that Xiao-Ming and I were gay. Actually, the department had heard rumors about us, but apart from a few close friends, no one had ever asked us directly. But that time, it escalated to the point that even the department head got involved; it was a huge uproar. Xiao-Ming couldn't take it anymore and took the transfer exam during the summer break of our sophomore year, leaving Tunghai University. Until our senior year, the atmosphere in the whole class was off. Everyone seemed nice on the surface, but I was isolated. The saddest part was that even A-Yi acted like a bystander. After graduation, through a friend of my father's, I returned to Taipei to work at a bank. A-Yi, Xiao-Ming, and I lost contact after that...

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