Swapping couples: Deeper love, more intense pleasure

"Co-op (Partner Swapping): A Study of Intimate Relationships," a book of 300,000 words, this is the first section of Chapter Fifteen.

Chapter Fifteen: The Impact of Co-op on Intimate Relationships Between Couples.
Section 1: After Co-op: Deeper Love, More Enjoyable Sexual

Encounters. Almost all respondents in this study indicated that co-op had a positive effect on both their relationship and sex life. Moreover, only couples with strong relationships engaged in co-op. "Veteran" co-op user Bengzi, with over ten years of experience, stated that all the couples he encountered were deeply in love before engaging in co-op; "it's impossible for them to be having disagreements and engaging in partner swapping."

I. Transcending Taboos, Deepening Relationships
. One of the biggest taboos between couples is sexual infidelity. Sexual infidelity can deal a fatal blow to a traditional marital relationship. In co-op practice, both partners challenge and transcend this biggest taboo together, breaking down the biggest obstacle affecting their relationship. The alliance built in the process of jointly breaking the taboo further elevates their feelings for each other.
Da Wei said that after practicing partner swapping, "I feel that my relationship with my husband is better. Our feelings for each other are more stable. Our kinship and sense of responsibility are stronger. Because I don't have to worry about infidelity anymore, I've overcome that hurdle, and I've come to terms with it. Sex is just that."
After practicing partner swapping, Xiao Liu and his wife's relationship is much better than before. Xiao Liu said, "We used to argue a lot, but now we only argue once or twice a year." The trust between them has also increased incomparably. Xiao Liu said, "If my wife doesn't tell me something, she must have her reasons." Even sexual infidelity, which is usually considered the biggest secret between couples, has become public. There's really nothing to worry about anymore.
Wang, an interviewee from Xi'an, shared a similar experience: "After having multiple sexual relationships, my marital relationship and sex life improved. Emotionally, she became more dependent on me, wanting to be with me for everything, even taking evening walks together. She misses me a lot when I'm not home. Sexually, things are better when we're together than when we were just the two of us; there's more sexual fantasy involved. However, it's not as good as when we're together as a trio."
Mr. Su and his wife were still discussing consanguineous relationships when interviewed, but this discussion itself had deepened their relationship: "I feel that discussing consanguineous relationships, imagining how to have one, and even putting it into practice, is irreplaceable in maintaining our passion and managing negative emotions." This is understandable, as the discussion itself is a process of jointly overcoming taboos, and usually a process of expressing love and emotional fidelity. When
Bengzi first started consanguineous relationships, he was idle. He said, "Back then, my girlfriend and I were idle every day, with nothing to do outside of work. I used to have many hobbies, a very wide range of interests. But she didn't like any of them, and spent all her time watching TV. So I could only stay home and surf the internet every day. For a while, our lives were just so boring."
It's clear that although they didn't argue at that time, there were problems in their relationship. After cohabitation, Bengzi said, "There were gains and losses." The gain was a closer emotional bond; the loss was that other hobbies faded, and cohabitation became the main theme of their lives, which he regretted. But in any case, Bengzi no longer felt that boredom.
Bengzi also said that when they were dating, his girlfriend was very "reserved," unwilling to express her thoughts directly, which was very different from his personality. After cohabitation, "Now, my wife has changed a lot, for example, she's not so reserved anymore, and she expresses her thoughts."
Bengzi said that for the spouse who is reluctant to cohabitate, it's important to actively guide them. Cohabitation has many advantages, such as: a stable family, a high safety factor, and physical safety; while visiting prostitutes can easily lead to diseases, cohabitation is much safer.
Witnessing others' infatuation with one's partner during group sex can also enhance one's own passion for that partner.
Xing Ge said, "Although I know she's beautiful and cute, seeing others like her so much, seeing others fascinated by her, further fuels my passion and appreciation for her." He explained, "Because being together for a while can become routine, but seeing others' enthusiasm for her, including comparing her to others, revitalizes my appreciation for her beauty and charm."
Xing Ge also mentioned that his partner's love for him during group sex deepened his understanding of her love for him. "Her thoughtfulness and loving expressions made me love her even more after the activity, and thinking of her filled me with even more affection. The day after the group sex, lying in bed reminiscing, I was mostly thinking about all the ways she showed me her love—it was so warm and blissful that I couldn't bear to sleep, indulging in this blissful experience. I didn't think about whether I had sex with others or its significance. I eventually fell asleep with a smile..."
Xing Ge believes that the depth of his relationship with his girlfriend is largely due to her ability to "practice many things I fantasize about with me," including group sex.
To prove the depth of their relationship, Xing Ge even provided an email from his girlfriend: "

You've suffered so much in the past, and God sent me to comfort you. All the suffering you endured was for waiting for me.
I will love you for life, forever. I feel so happy, how fortunate I am to have you love me. They didn't cherish me when they were with me, but you cherish me so much, I will never leave you."

Xing Ge said he was so happy; her appearance had completely changed his life: "She brought me so many new experiences that no one else has ever given me. I truly believe we will never be apart."
Xing Ge introduced his girlfriend to his circle of friends, happily talking about her, even proudly telling them, "Our love is exceptionally profound; we will be together for life."
Xing Ge said, "I don't treat her as a lover, but as a life partner. 'Lover' is a stigmatized word in this era, implying affection, but more importantly, sex, and also something fleeting. Some say that a lover relationship usually lasts a year, at best two years. In my experience, the best it lasts is a year; usually, three months is a major hurdle, and six months is another. But this time, I believe we can be together for life. Therefore, to describe our relationship as a lover feels like an insult to our feelings."
This profound affection is directly related to his girlfriend and Xing Ge's shared life together.
Female interviewee Lingling also clearly felt that her relationship with her boyfriend deepened after their threesome experience: "

This was my first time, and although it felt a little awkward and the dominant wasn't very good, overall it felt good. During the process, I felt relaxed and happy. Through prior communication and the tacit understanding between the dominant and dominant, our relationship deepened. The last barrier between us magically disappeared. Even afterwards, he would text me about my romantic encounters and show concern for me, which I found very thoughtful and warm. I could truly feel his care for me."

Professor Ma from Nanjing repeatedly emphasized that this was a "game," a "fun," and that "people without this level of understanding shouldn't engage in this kind of exchange." He said, "This is for relaxation; it shouldn't destroy a family."
After discussing cohabitation, Mr. Miao and his wife began looking for a cohabiting partner: "Although the success rate is low, both of us have a more tolerant understanding of sexual behavior, so we are naturally more cautious in our sexual interactions. We will also promptly report our thoughts on sex to our partner. If we were to have sexual relations with single men or women, there would certainly be no conflict, because the other person has a mature view on sexual choices, which would lead to a higher starting point, higher quality, and greater safety. Since the couple is irreplaceable and their sexual views can be communicated, what else is incompatible? Harmony will naturally follow."
The Xingfu Village website conducted an online survey of couples practicing cohabitation, asking whether they preferred sleeping alone or cuddling together. The results showed that 60% of participants found cuddling comfortable, 29% found sleeping alone comfortable, and 11% found either method of sleeping comfortable. (Initiated: January 31, 2010; statistics as of April 21, 2010; 988 participants). Xingfu Village users are all couples who are already in a cohabitation relationship, or at least planning to. This survey result also shows that cohabiting couples greatly desire intimacy, which is a manifestation of their close relationship.

Secondly, promoting cohabitation in sexual
activity does not, as many people imagine, destroy a couple's sex life. On the contrary, our respondents generally said that after practicing cohabitation, the quality of their sex life improved, and they experienced more sexual passion.
Cook said, "After we had a satisfying session of co-op, the quality of our sex life improved significantly for a while. It felt like we were back in the madness of our courtship days. Sometimes we'd do it two or three times before we felt comfortable enough to rest. During the process, we'd recall our past experiences, especially the moments that excited us both. We'd confide in each other, breathless. This increased our excitement. As this process repeated itself, the memories of old moments gradually lost their exhilarating power. We started looking for partners again, but this time our direction was clearer."
One of the greatest pleasures of co-op for couples is the frank communication afterward. It's during this communication that the pleasure is highlighted, and it reveals the "unity" between the partners. Recalling each other's subtle emotional moments and analyzing each other's psychology afterward are significant sources of enjoyment for co-op participants. One
interviewee, Bengzi, said that when he and his girlfriend (later his wife) practiced co-op, they were still incredibly excited after everyone else left, reliving the experience with lingering excitement.
Xiao Liu said that his wife became much more open after experiencing co-op, which made him very happy. After co-op, there were also some changes in the way Xiao Liu and his wife made love. Previously, Xiao Liu's wife's moans during sex were very soft, but now they are very loud. Xiao Liu says his wife is very different in bed and out of bed. Out of bed, she is quiet and traditional, making people hesitant to approach her. But in bed, Xiao Liu says, "She's a wanton woman who's available to everyone."
His wife says to him, "Isn't this exactly what you wanted?" Xiao Liu's view is to enjoy life to the fullest when it's possible.
Xiao Liu says, "This woman is a more real woman now. She stands honestly in front of me, a woman who doesn't need to hide any desires or secrets." Xiao Liu says he hates insincere women.
His assessment of his wife is: "She's a perfect wife."
Sexual pleasure between husband and wife can deepen their relationship. It's not something one person directly brings to the other, but rather the indirect pleasure brought to the other through shared experiences, which can lead to stronger sexual pleasure and thus deepen their relationship.
Lao Mu explains that after he and his wife had sex with another man, "they would both get carried away and have passionate encounters with him a few times, and the wife would also have several passionate dates with him alone."
Xiao Bo, one of the interviewees, told me: "

Every time we play together, our relationship and sex life become more interesting. I don't know what it will feel like if we play together for a long time, but at least for now, every time we play together, we can have a very enjoyable sex life. While we're doing it, we talk about how we felt when we played together before, and fantasize about having sex with someone else right now.
I think we'll continue playing together unless we can't find a suitable couple. Now, I have a special number in my QQ friends list to add couples with the same interests.

" Xiao Bo's "playing together" refers to his experiences having sex with couples and other people.
Bengzi also once dated a single man, a college student. The student was nervous and not very satisfied. After he left, his wife was still very excited, and the couple made love very intensely. "That's right, that's what I wanted," Bengzi said. "That's what I wanted" refers to the positive effect of conjugal practices on the sex life of couples.

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