Husband says he's lonely...empty...cold...wife says...

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1. Husband says: Lonely...empty...cold... Wife says: Put on...clothes...and get out...
2. I just asked my sister out of curiosity why she always kneels on one knee when proposing, and she calmly replied, "Kneeling on both knees is for visiting a grave!"
3. The environmental slogans we used to see were "Green grass, please don't trample on it!" Now the slogans are "If you step on my head today, I'll grow on your grave tomorrow."
4. The fear of single women: dying without a man.
5. The cold water you poured on me, I'll boil it and pour it back on you.
6. Don't poop in front of flies; they'll think you're showing off your wealth.
7. I was chatting with my boyfriend, and in the excitement of the conversation, I accidentally spit all over his face. He instinctively wiped it away with his hand. I was angry: "What? Are you disgusted with me?" He smiled like a gentleman: "No, just spreading it out!"
8. "Dad, our school has formed a band, and I want to join. The school said we have to bring our own instruments." The father stared at his son for a long time, then handed him a chopstick: "Son, we're poor. Can you try to be the conductor?"
9. A female colleague in the office had just returned from the restroom and casually touched the head of the male colleague sitting next to her, complimenting his hairstyle. The male colleague angrily retorted, "Don't touch my head with your hands that just came from the restroom!" The female colleague paused for two seconds and then said, "Do you think I need to hold my hands like you when I go to the restroom?" Everyone burst into laughter!
10. A man was riding a motorcycle with a four- or five-year-old child on the back. The man was a terrible rider, and the child wobbled around. Finally, the motorcycle lurched, and the child fell off. The man was completely unaware. I stopped, picked up the child, and sped up to catch up with him. I complained, "How can you ride a motorcycle like that? You didn't even notice your child fell off?" The man stared at the child and yelled, "Where's your mother?"

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