Online dating and meeting girls: personal experience sharing (2)

page views:1 Publication date:2019-12-08

Okay, first of all, thank you for your support, so I'm writing another post, mainly about how to chat.

First of all, I don't take on apprentices. If you think I'm okay, add me as a friend to get to know each other, and maybe we can organize a group or event sometime so we can all have fun together
. (I initially said I've slept with hundreds of girls, but that's a bit of an exaggeration; I really don't have that many. This is just sharing, so don't treat me like an expert.)

Many people fail because of their lack of conversation skills. Actually, being good at communication is a skill and a talent. If you're naturally talkative and good at communicating, then chatting won't be a problem. There are many online tutorials on chatting techniques, but they all have one problem: they assume everyone is naturally good at communicating. But if you're introverted and don't dare to talk much, then reading those communication techniques will only lead to one result: either awkwardly using templates or foolishly rambling (unnecessary concern, interrogation, cheesy pickup lines, forced artistic flirting). Why? Because you don't understand the mindset and personality of the person speaking. This is called imitating others poorly; you only learn the surface.

So before we get to the tips, I want to emphasize that mindset is crucial before you start chatting. If you're really hesitant, that's okay. Just chat a few times to practice. Don't be stubborn and keep trying. If you fail, you fail; it's okay, try again next time.

Now for the tips. For those who are really bad at chatting, don't worry, just read what I've written and remember it.
1. Don't talk about personal things like height, weight, or phone numbers in the early stages of chatting. So, is it okay to talk about personal things? Once you're more comfortable, you can do whatever you want. Of course, asking for a nickname is fine, for example: "Can you give me a nickname? I'll save it in my notes." It's okay, you don't need my real name.

2. Learn to filter. If you initiate conversation three times and the other person is still indifferent, basically ignore them. It's simple, they're not interested in you. Also, ignore those who start like it's a blind date, with all sorts of demands clearly stated (height requirement, being considerate, etc.). We're here to have fun, not to find a partner.

3. If you run out of topics, remember to talk about your present—past—future, or her present—past—future. Remember not to be pretentious; be humble. For example, if you used to be in the military, and someone starts to admire you, you should say, "It's just a profession" (or something similar; just improvise, you know how traditional Chinese people are). What you talk about isn't important; what's important is the empathy and resonance that arises from the conversation. That's what

brings you closer. Basically, it's like saying—if you're sad, let's hug each other for warmth. 4. If you still don't have anything to talk about, here are a few topics that can bring you closer: First, pets; second, food; third, travel. Then, if you have pets, talk about them. If not, go buy some—hamsters are cheap. If you don't have food, go buy some. Grilling steak is easy; there are tons on Taobao. Pair it with some red wine for a sophisticated touch. There's also pasta, etc. If you don't know how, learn. I'm not a chef, so don't ask me. Don't bother taking pictures of what you eat at restaurants; she's probably eaten just as much as you. Never traveled before? Okay, if you're a complete homebody who's never been anywhere, my friend, I suggest you travel first before trying to pick her up. Remember to take pictures!
Okay, now the problem is, can we use other people's pictures? I don't know how to take pictures and don't have any resources! No problem, feel free to use it, but your skill level and expertise are limited. For example, if you haven't been to that place, and someone asks what kind of food they have or what it's like, you won't be able to answer. If you don't have pets, and someone wants to visit your home, wouldn't it be easier to just invite them over? Okay, you don't have those, so goodbye to that. And if you can't cook, the same logic applies. So, it's definitely better if you have the skills yourself; if you don't, figure it out yourself.

Okay, I've missed some practical tips this time. Next time we'll talk about self-promotion. Remember to leave a comment if you like!

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