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Blogger:Xu Yanqing 2019-12-11

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Online dating and meeting girls: personal experience sharing (5) 

    page views:1  Publication date:2019-12-11  
Brothers, it's me again, your good friend, Lao Xu from next door!

First, in the last post, I introduced an idea for building a profile, but that was written impromptu and incomplete, causing some difficulties for some readers. I apologize for that; Lao Xu didn't organize the information well. This time, I'm seriously telling you that if you want to hook up online, the most important thing is your profile, then your conversation. If your profile isn't well-established, it's difficult to attract people. So, this time, I'll seriously explain how to build one. There's a lot of content, so I'll post it in multiple parts (I don't know how many, it depends on my mood) to make it easier for you to read.
First, remember this: there are many ways to add girls—joining social groups, QQ groups, social media apps, etc. But no matter how you add a girl, you must eventually transfer her to WeChat. Remember this! However, you also need to build a good profile on your own social media apps; otherwise, why would anyone add you on WeChat? Just sync with WeChat (send the exact same message), using WeChat as your primary platform and other apps as secondary. It's 2019, folks! It's hard to have anything interesting to say on social media, and girls don't use apps every day; they mostly use WeChat. Adding her on WeChat increases her trust in you (what? You're married with a wife? What if she checks your phone? I'm not married, so I don't know either. Figure it out yourself).
As I said before, pretty girls online (good selfies, maybe they're pretty, haha) will definitely have countless guys asking to add them on WeChat. Whether she'll add you or not depends mainly on your profile on the app. You greet her first, then she clicks on your circle and sees a few photos of your life (and they're usually ugly), but the rest is just random stuff, all sorts of fake artsy, fake melancholic stuff, and especially those lines from "A Chinese Odyssey" or similar movies (don't run away, I'm talking about you!). Sounds artsy? But isn't that just blatantly admitting you're a loser starving for love? Girls will think your life is boring; who are you crying to? If you talk to her with this kind of social circle, she won't have any motivation to reply. Why? Because there are too many people like that. Then it's the following scenario:

"Um, oh, I'm going to take a shower."

So this is why many people can't have a good conversation with girls on dating apps. But what if you build a good profile? A girl's initial reaction to a guy is completely different. I used to chat casually with girls (actually, I don't chat much anymore), but the difference between having a well-developed social circle and not is huge.
For example, after you say hello, the other person looks at your social circle (my profile, which I'll call "social circle" for short). They find that this guy has a high quality of life, likes fitness, can cook Western food, has traveled to many places, dresses impeccably, and frequently attends fashion events. If you then send her a "hello," even if she's busy, she'll feel she should respectfully reply. She has a vague feeling that this guy might offer her something, even if she doesn't know exactly what, but she doesn't want to miss such an opportunity. This is called attraction. Simply put, your social circle determines the quality of your conversations.
From the other person's perspective, your social circle reflects your reality. The kind of life you lead in your circle determines the kind of girls you attract (as mentioned before, if you're rich, then do whatever you want). If you can't even present a good image of your social circle, how can you present yourself as an attractive person in real life?
Okay, now someone might say, "I'm not handsome or rich, so I don't have any good photos to post on social media. But I've won awards in competitions with photos I took with my phone." Fine, you say you're not a photographer, but you can learn. The quality of your photos depends on how much effort you put in.
First of all, when girls observe your social circle, they don't just want to know what you look like or how rich you are; they want to observe your quality of life. As mentioned above, most women are ordinary people, so quality is the key to your social circle, not flaunting wealth. So what kind of content should you post? Take notes below. Ideally, even a tattoo would be good.
1. Post photos that highlight your uniqueness. For example, high-quality selfies, food photos, travel photos, fitness photos, road trip photos, etc. If you have talent, then be smart and show off your skills. For example, I'm a photographer, so I'll post my work. Remember, being unique is what makes you attractive.
2. Post photos of yourself focused at work. A focused man is most attractive, subtly giving women a sense of reliability and trust. Post photos of yourself drawing and thinking, in meetings with colleagues, or working overtime diligently. This at least tells others that you are a man with a career, not a loser who spends all his time chatting online. What about students? Then post photos of yourself studying diligently in the library or participating in club activities. Don't tell me you don't have any photos; is it so hard to ask a friend to take some?
3. If you want to show your caring side, post photos of yourself walking your dog or with children. If you don't have pets, buy a couple of hamsters, or even a rabbit. Cats and dogs are too much trouble, but of course, if you like them, that's fine too. Photos with children are self-explanatory; most families have kids, so take advantage of the New Year to take some. Here's the key point: these kinds of photos are a powerful weapon. Women will think, "This must be a caring man, and he must also be good at taking care of people." Therefore, photos with small animals or children will make you more attractive.
Your social circle is a way to showcase your personal value and charm, while also providing a sense of security. Just like when chatting online, you might worry about whether the other person is a burly man, if you want to continue chatting with a girl, not just chat, you need to use your social circle to build a basic sense of security for her. With this basic sense of security, she'll be more willing to meet you in person. Because for a girl you've never met, your impression of her is too shallow, and gaining trust solely through chatting is difficult. You can't chat with her frequently, and chatting is one-on-one, which can create a sense of pressure for her due to its strong, purposeful nature. Therefore, she'll have a defensive mindset and question the authenticity of what you say. Through your social circle, she can judge for herself whether you're a reliable person. For example, photos of you with friends show that you have a rich social life, while work photos show that you're a career-oriented and responsible person. If you post photos of your home, she can judge your quality of life and environment based on the furnishings and your clothing. You can also post photos of your pet going to the vet, family outings, cooking at home, and so on. These tangible things can help a girl lower her guard and engage in serious conversation. What you talk about isn't important; what matters is what the girl sees. Sometimes, a single photo on social media is more effective than a month of chatting. Furthermore, social
circles can build connections and expand topics of conversation. While a sense of security is fundamental, it doesn't guarantee a smooth progression in a relationship. However, building connections through social circles greatly helps in the initial stages of your conversations. Building connections, simply put, means establishing common ground and resonance through social media. If you've already established a sense of security with someone, and she's genuine, but you find that her work and life have no overlap with yours—you're a college student, she's an insurance company director, you like country music, she likes square dancing—then you're unlikely to find common ground. The more visually appealing the photos, the more opportunities you'll create connection, and the greater the likelihood that she'll become interested in you.
Here's a key point: once you've had your fill of social media apps or group chats, switch to WeChat. Don't be silly and keep chatting endlessly. After all, Moments (WeChat's social media feature) is more interactive. People can see a more comprehensive picture of you. And here's a little whisper: don't use a WeChat account linked to your own phone number. Otherwise, if you're having sex with another girl, and she sees you haven't replied to her messages in the middle of the night and calls you, you'll explode. Don't ask me how I know; it's all from painful experiences...
Okay, that's all for this article. Typing is tiring, brothers! Please leave comments to support me if you like it!

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