Husband and wife jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-06-19

A couple is talking. Wife
: "Honey, Lucy had a baby!"
Husband: "That's her business."
Wife: "Honey, she said the baby is yours!"
Husband: "That's my business."
Wife: "But what should I do now?" Husband: "That's your business." A man and a woman are having sex. The man is about to enter the woman's body without moving, saying: "We're connected now.
" The woman is unhappy. The man thrusts violently, and the woman shouts: "Mobile is better than Unicom!" The husband comes home from work, and his wife has prepared dinner. "Honey, you can choose what to eat tonight," the wife says. "What kind of dishes are there?" "Asparagus," the wife replies. "What's the choice?" "Eat or not eat?" A playboy married a country girl on their wedding night . Shortly after the bride and groom entered their bridal chamber, the playboy was carried out to the emergency room... Mother-in-law: What happened?? Bride: ...I don't know! He told me to eat him... I thought it would be impolite to eat with my hands, so I went to the kitchen to get chopsticks... But I was worried he would laugh at me for using chopsticks, thinking it was vulgar and undignified , so I switched to a knife and fork ... A couple went on a tandem bicycle trip. Riding up a steep hill, the husband, panting, said, "This hill is really hard to climb, I'm exhausted." "The slope is too steep. If I hadn't been holding the brakes the whole time, I probably would have slid down," the wife said, wiping her sweat. Have my sister and brother-in-law gotten up yet? One day, Ah-Xi's sister and husband went back to her parents' house and slept there that night... The next morning, Ah-Xi got up to prepare for school and asked her mother before leaving: Have my sister and brother-in-law gotten up yet? Mom said: No. So Ah-Xi went to school... At noon, Ah-Xi came home for lunch and asked again: Have my sister and brother-in-law gotten up yet? Mom said: Not yet. In the afternoon, Ah-Xi came home from school and asked her mother: Have my sister and brother-in-law gotten up yet? Mom said again: Not yet, why have you been asking your sister and brother-in-law if they're up yet all day?... Ah-Xi replied: Last night before I went to sleep, I heard my sister ask my brother-in-law to get lubricant from the bathroom, but when I got up this morning, I saw that a tube of AA super glue that I put in the bathroom was gone. The newspaper and the woman The owner of a newspaper put out a question in his paper. If you answered correctly, the newspaper would provide you with a trip to Bermuda. The question was: "Why do some people compare newspapers to women?" A lady won the prize. Her answer was: "Because every man has his own newspaper, but he still can't help but steal a few glances at someone else's newspaper." The reason for harmony A couple celebrated their wedding anniversary. Their harmonious relationship has long been talked about. A local reporter then interviewed them about the secret to their happy marriage. The husband explained, "Well, it all started with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon, and we were supposed to ride donkeys to the bottom of the canyon, but we hadn't gone far when my wife's donkey fell over. My wife quietly said, 'The first time.' We continued on our way, and soon the donkey fell over again. My wife quietly said, 'The second time.' We hadn't even gone half a mile before the donkey fell over again. This time, my wife pulled out her revolver and shot the donkey. I couldn't agree with her behavior, so I started arguing with her. Then, my newlywed wife quietly said to me, 'The first time...'"

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