10 embarrassing stories

page views:1 Publication date:2022-07-17

1. Color-fading sacred cow
Let me tell you about something that happened when I went back to my hometown with my dad.
A few days ago, on our way back to our hometown with my dad, we passed a market. A kind-hearted farmer leading a cow passed by our car and accidentally brushed against our rearview mirror, making it crooked. So my dad went to adjust it.
When we touched the back of the mirror, we found our hands covered in a black, unidentified powdery substance. Just as we were wondering what was going on, we glanced back at the cow and saw a white streak appear on its black spots... It seemed its color had faded... faded... in the black line...
What kind of cow is this...?
2. Invincible nearsighted woman
Let me tell you my own story. I'm a woman with severe myopia. One evening, I went out with my mom to get new glasses. I suddenly exclaimed excitedly, "Mom, look! What's that person crawling on the ground looking for?" My mom was immediately dumbfounded: "Who's that? It's a large black dog..."
3. A Tragic Man
Back then, I was in a flirtatious relationship with a certain girl, but it remained just that—flirtatious; I didn't dare to confess my feelings.
Once, when we went out to eat together, the uncle at the next table spilled beer on my jeans.
I took the opportunity to ask the girl to wash my pants.
mm said "okay" without hesitation.
So I'm very happy, very happy!
And then, in a rather suggestive manner, he took off his jeans and underwear and handed them to his girlfriend to wash.
I thought to myself, if she's willing to wash my underwear, then it means our relationship is really on point.
Then what
A few days later
Without saying a word, mm washed my pants and returned them to me.
I held the pants that smelled of laundry detergent.
He thought to himself with a smug satisfaction: It's time to confess my feelings.
So everything for that night was planned quickly and meticulously.
Flowers, candles, fireworks, etc.
Suddenly thought of it before leaving
In such a beautiful, picturesque place
And a day worth commemorating for a lifetime
Of course~~~~~
Of course, it would be even more meaningful to wear the pants that my sister washed for me herself!
Oh hahaha
I put my hands on my hips and laughed triumphantly.
then
I quickly changed into the pants that my girlfriend had given me.
I just realized...
I just realized...
...
...
...
The underwear that mm returned was not mine.
It's not my underwear.
no.
Considering that mm's family members all live in other places,
I sadly understand now.
4. China's most powerful baijiu... (see image above)
5. Invincible Drunk Man
In 2003, everything went wrong. At the end of the year, I moved to my current city. The new environment and new life felt much more relaxed. It happened to be New Year's Day, and we had a great time at a company dinner. I even won a rice cooker in a company raffle, so I drank quite a bit. After the dinner, I went back to my place with a friend. My friend forgot his keys and went back to get them. I waited outside, holding my bicycle. A while later, the alcohol hit me, and I collapsed to the ground, bike and all. There were many people on the street. I tried to get up but couldn't. Lying on the ground felt quite comfortable. Thinking I couldn't lose the rice cooker, I held onto it with my hands. Thinking I couldn't lose the bicycle, I hooked it with my feet until my friend returned… Apparently, a group of people surrounded a drunk man who was lying on the ground, holding the rice cooker, his feet tangled in his bicycle, looking completely satisfied, ignoring the onlookers…
6. Dislikes using condoms
Recently, my company has been receiving payments frequently, and I've been going to the rural credit cooperative to deposit money. Over time, I've become familiar with the bank teller. They use manual money bundling, while other banks usually use automatic heat-sealing. So, she has some money bundling sheets from other banks on hand. Since I bring a lot of money, she gave me some to make bundling easier. Today, I went there again and saw her unpack the ready-made money bundling sheets, count them, and then manually bundle them again. I said to her, "Why don't you just use those? Wouldn't that be much more convenient?" (You know what I mean when you're counting money). She quickly replied, "I don't like using covers..." Immediately, I saw everyone in the lobby looking at her, and several employees at the other counters couldn't help but laugh. This girl is very innocent, and I've always hoped something would happen between us. Please, everyone, don't have any impure thoughts!
7. The Sequel to Li Gang's Story
Yesterday I saw a post on Renren (a Chinese social networking site) that mentioned "hate that my dad isn't as good as Gang" as one of the popular phrases of 2010. I thought it was funny, so I posted it on Weibo.
As a result, my mother, whom I forced to register for Weibo and who almost never posts on Weibo but only reads my Weibo, replied to me with "What do you mean?".
I replied to her, "Gang is the Gang from Li Gang."
I guess she probably told my dad when she got back, because my dad left me a message on QQ this afternoon:
"How's your postgraduate entrance exam preparation going? Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just let me know if you need anything from your dad!"
My dearest Mom and Dad, I'm so touched!
8. This must be supported.
This happened yesterday. A female classmate in our class had just washed her hair, and with her hair slightly tousled, another classmate, let's call her A, said, "Hey, you look Japanese!" Then another classmate, let's call her B, quietly added, "Japanese is a derogatory term..."
"Japanese" is a derogatory term...
9. It's all because of trouble.
In composition class, the teacher was guiding students on an essay about diligence. The teacher asked, "How can one become diligent?" A student who was sleeping mumbled, "You need Ge You!" The teacher's lips twitched, and pretending not to hear, the teacher asked again, "How can one unleash their potential for diligence?" The same student replied, "You need Shu Qi!" And then? That was it. The student was asked to leave the classroom to stand in the cold wind...

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