Love and Desire [Complete] - 13

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Love and Desire (89)

Chapter 87

After Director Qin left, Liu Yan shed tears again. Thinking about her mother's words, she felt a chill run through her body. She then thought about the transfer back. If she hadn't transferred back, her mother wouldn't have insisted that she come back. It was because she thought she could work near her parents, and after getting married, she could be with her father and mother. Another key issue was that she wanted her parents to get a very good job for Ouyang Yiming, which is why she transferred back.

She really regretted it now. If she hadn't transferred back, or waited until Ouyang Yiming graduated, or asked her aunt to find a way to arrange a job for Ouyang Yiming there... there were countless paths she could have taken. As long as she hadn't transferred back or hadn't been in such a hurry to transfer back, this wouldn't have happened.

But now, she had transferred back, and her work was much easier than before. Things she hadn't dared to think about before had been accomplished without her realizing it, but she might lose the person she loved most. This was a blow to her greater than anything else. Was there really a plan in the dark? Was she destined not to be with Ouyang Yiming in this life? So why arrange for her to meet and fall in love with Ouyang Yiming? Why subject herself to such emotional torment?

"No, I can't. Even if I have nothing, even if I lose everything, even if all the terrible things Mom said happen, I absolutely cannot lose Ouyang Yiming. No, I can't! I love him. I consider him my own life. I can lose anything but him."

"Yiming, now that you know what I did to you, can't you forgive me? I didn't do it willingly, I really didn't do it willingly. I love you, I love you! Even... even though I was treated like that by him, I... I thought of you. I considered him yours! Yiming, I was wrong. I can't live without you. I will never do such a mistake again, never! Please

forgive me this time, okay? I beg you, I beg you..." Liu Yan, her eyes brimming with tears, held Ouyang Yiming's photo in trembling hands, speaking these painful words in her heart.

In a fleeting moment, she seemed to see Ouyang Yiming looking at her with a pair of mournful eyes, eyes that clearly shone with a beam of resentment, and flickered with an inability to forgive herself… Liu Yan felt fear, and she closed her eyes. She dared not look at Ouyang Yiming's photo again, dared not look into Ouyang Yiming's eyes in the photo. With a sudden turn, Liu Yan collapsed onto the bed, weeping in despair… “Who can help me? Who can help me!” After a bout of sobbing, Liu Yan rolled onto her back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, silently praying in her heart… “Am I really going to lose Ouyang Yiming and end up with Zhang Lei? Is it destined that I will be forever separated from Ouyang Yiming? Am I going to lose the person I love most because of this? No, Ouyang Yiming is my love, my love for all eternity. In this life, no one else will be worthy of my love! Even if I don’t marry him or am forced to marry Zhang Lei, the love in my heart will only belong to Ouyang Yiming. Zhang Lei, even if you get my body, you will never get my heart!”

She silently pondered every word her mother had said, each reason her mother gave sending shivers down her spine; every hypothetical scenario seemed plausible. In the sweltering heat, Liu Yan felt a chill; her body trembled uncontrollably, yet sweat poured from her forehead. She contemplated death, finding the only escape from this despair. The thought of death brought a strange sense of peace; only then could she face Ouyang Yiming with gratitude, and end this torment. Suddenly, her mother's words came to mind. Yes, life isn't just about oneself. She could find eternal release in death, but what about her parents and brother? They would be devastated by her departure, their lives would lose their meaning. Just as her mother had said, even in death, wouldn't people talk about her? The gossip would be overwhelming. She would find release, but how could her family survive in such an atmosphere? Her parents were not ordinary people; should they bear this undeserved humiliation for her sake? Even death was so difficult! So there's only one path left, a path "paved with brocade," and that's marrying Zhang Lei. Only marrying him is the perfect ending. But what about Ouyang Yiming? What will his reaction be when he finds out I married another man? At that moment, she suddenly thought of Xu Hui. "What a beautiful, fairy-like woman she is! I can't compare to her; she's prettier than me. She likes Ouyang Yiming, and she loves him too." The scene of seeing Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui at the ward entrance flashed before Liu Yan's eyes. "They looked so well-matched," Liu Yan thought to herself. Suddenly, a surge of intense jealousy welled up inside her. "No, Ouyang Yiming is mine, she's only mine. He loves me, not you, Xu Hui!" These thoughts quickly turned Liu Yan's neck red with shame. "She's yours? Do you deserve her? You've already lost your virginity to another man; you haven't been fair to him. And now you want to say she's only yours!" Thinking this, a profound sorrow welled up within her. Then came another wave of guilt: "Since ancient times, the thing men care about most is being cuckolded, and I've so easily put that hat on Ouyang Yiming." She didn't know why the words "cuckolded" flashed into her mind. "Men all care, Ouyang Yiming definitely cares even more." "Then, if I married Zhang Lei, wouldn't Zhang Lei also be cuckolded even more times! I've been cuckolded with Ouyang Yiming many times. Serves him right, Zhang Lei deserves it, he deserves to be cuckolded many times." At this moment, Zhang Lei's image reappeared in her mind. "Do you deserve to marry me? Compared to Ouyang Yiming, what are you? Besides that kind of family, those kind of parents, what else do you have? Do you even feel worthy of me? How dare you say you like me!" A sudden tremor ran through her, thinking, "Didn't he also take my body? Didn't I also experience pleasure when he took my body?" Liu Yan felt ashamed of her actions once again. "I won't think about him, what is he anyway!" Liu Yan thought fiercely to herself. But she couldn't stop thinking about the man she didn't want to think about. "I've never loved him, never, not even the slightest thought of that." She paused, then thought, "But before this, you never felt any aversion towards him, did you? Even though you knew he might have feelings for you, you still laughed and joked with him, and you felt happy every time you talked and laughed with him, didn't you? Although you didn't really care about him, you still felt some kind of affection for him, even if it wasn't love, but at least you had a good feeling towards him." Thinking of this, Liu Yan's heart trembled, secretly shocked by her past thoughts. "Is it really true that all marriages are arranged by God? So I was transferred back for this man? Was it because I was destined to be his woman that I came back? So it's really because I'm destined to be his wife?" Liu Yan's thoughts were confused, chaotic, and muddled. She could no longer make sense of everything that had happened. Director Qin sat on the sofa downstairs, her heart filled with unease, worried that her daughter might do something. She had tiptoed upstairs more than once to listen for any sounds outside her daughter's bedroom door. Several times she faintly heard Liu Yan crying and felt a pang of sadness, but she knew it was too late to say anything to her daughter. She figured Liu Yan wouldn't have ignored her words. And it was only natural for Liu Yan to be upset. This time, she listened at the door for a while without hearing any movement, and a sense of unease crept in, so she pushed the door open. Seeing Liu Yan lying on the bed with her eyes open, she felt relieved. She walked to the bedside and looked at Liu Yan. Liu Yan didn't say anything, didn't look at her, and her face was expressionless. Director Qin's heart sank again, and she said, "Yanzi, I'll sleep with you." Liu Yan remained silent, not even blinking. Director Qin sighed, bent down to pick up the photos of Liu Yan's hand that had fallen off, placed them on the table, lay down next to Liu Yan, and silently lay there for a while before saying, "Yanzi, I know you're not feeling well, but you have to deal with this properly and think positively. Life is full of setbacks; you can't dwell on them. Think about it later. Go to sleep." Liu Yan said, "I can't sleep." Director Qin sighed and said, "I completely understand how you feel right now, but what's past is past. People can only move towards the light, not into a dead end. I'll tell you a true story. This story might not be directly related to your current situation, but it's connected to our family, so I still want to tell you." "A female classmate of mine from middle school, we were very close in school. In 1948, she and I secretly joined the martial arts school, hiding it from our families. We were both sixteen that year. She was beautiful. To be honest, I was pretty back then too, but I was still a bit less so than her." After that, we both worked in the army's cultural troupe. After liberation, we went to the Korean War together. When we returned to China, we were both in our early twenties. At that time, your father was unmarried and already a battalion-level officer. The organization tried to help him find a wife, so they introduced my classmate to

him. Your father wasn't particularly handsome when he was young, but he was tall and strong. My classmate didn't like your father and didn't agree. Later, the organization introduced me to your father. "Two years later, my classmate was discharged from the army and became a teacher. A year later, she married a teacher. Her husband was incredibly handsome. I went to their wedding, and I was extremely envious. You can imagine how a girl feels when she sees her best friend marry someone much more handsome than her own man—envy and jealousy. A few years later, her husband was labeled a rightist and sent to a mountain village. My classmate's hard life began. After that, I lost contact with her."

“It wasn’t until 1979, when I went back to Changchun to visit my uncle, that I learned she was still teaching at that school. I went to find her. Decades had passed, and she had changed so much. She looked like an old woman, the same age as me. She had suffered a lot in those years. We chatted, and I could see what she was thinking. Her eyes were full of envy for me. Although she joked, ‘If I had agreed to the organization back then, your position would be mine now,’ I could still see the regret in her eyes and expression.”

"Yanzi, what I'm saying isn't anything extraordinary, just a very ordinary matter. But what I want to say is that if a girl only cares about a boy's looks and acts on impulse, she might regret it for decades. What good is handsomeness? It's only for a short time. After a few years or a decade, when you're old, you have nothing left. For a girl, getting married is a very important thing. There's an old saying that a girl's marriage is like a second reincarnation, and that's very true. If you can find a capable and competent husband, you'll be happy for a lifetime. If you only act on impulse, you might regret it for a lifetime. When I was young, I also believed in the love stories in plays and books, but now I see that was just the wild imagination of intellectuals. You might disagree with my opinion now, but in ten or twenty years, you'll agree. Just like my classmate, otherwise, I would be in her position today."

"I was thinking, Zhang Lei might not be as handsome as Ouyang, but he's still quite good-looking. You can see his family background; marrying him would mean you'd have everything you could ever want, no problems at all. But if you marry Ouyang, you'd have nothing; you'd have to start everything from scratch. Besides, if you marry Ouyang now, you'll also have to deal with your past with Zhang Lei. Who can say your marriage won't be in crisis once Ouyang finds out? You'll lose Zhang Lei, and then Ouyang will look down on you because of it. Can you imagine your life then? Actually, I never intended to interfere in your marriage. There are some things I need to tell you, after all, you're my own flesh and blood; how could I not feel sorry for you?"

"You need to broaden your horizons now, not confine yourself to your small circle. This is a major event in your life." Liu Yan said, "But I just can't accept the idea of giving up Ouyang and living with Zhang Lei." Director Qin said, "It's perfectly normal that you can't accept it right now. You and Ouyang have always loved each other, and it's unacceptable for anyone to suddenly accept another man. But you need to think about it seriously." Liu Yan said plaintively, "What else can I think about? As you just said, all my paths are blocked. Now I only have one path, and that is to marry that beast Zhang Lei." Although Director Qin felt a little sad listening to Liu Yan's words, she was secretly pleased.

After all, Liu Yan had begun to accept this reality. But she knew that Liu Yan would not give up Ouyang Yiming so easily.

Director Qin said, "It's not that I'm saying this, but you need to consider it yourself. You have to be realistic. The facts are already like this, and it's just self-deception to keep fantasizing about unrealistic things. As your mother, I also don't want you to suffer such emotional torment." But if you don't do it this way, you might be tormented by this feeling for the rest of your life.

You like Ouyang, you love him. Let me ask you, regarding your relationship with Zhang Lei, will you feel at ease facing Ouyang? You might feel guilty towards Ouyang for the rest of your life. So, if you live with Ouyang with this feeling, will you have a good quality of life, will you feel at peace, will you live comfortably? I think you won't. That's because you love him. If you didn't care about him so much, if you didn't love him so much, you wouldn't have this unease. Just like your feelings for Zhang Lei now, you would feel much more at ease living with Zhang Lei than with Ouyang. You feel in your heart that Zhang Lei has wronged you, not that you feel sorry for Zhang Lei."

Liu Yan felt a chill run down her spine, but she couldn't help but think about her mother's analysis.

Director Qin said, "You said Ouyang is a very outstanding young man. I was thinking, if he really is as you say, wouldn't girls like him in college?" Liu Yan trembled violently, and the image of Xu Hui, whom she had seen at the ward entrance that day, flashed through her mind. She looked at her mother with blank eyes, her lips trembling as she tried to speak. Director Qin had been carefully observing Liu Yan's expression. At that moment, she seemed to understand something. Staring into Liu Yan's eyes, she asked, "Does Ouyang have a girl he likes at school? Or rather, does he have a girl who likes him?

Has he told you?" Liu Yan moved her lips and asked, "What do you mean by asking these questions?" Director Qin said, "Of course I have my reasons for asking these questions. Has Ouyang not told you?" Liu Yan lowered her head, wondering whether to tell her mother about Xu Hui. She was also secretly wondering why her mother was asking this question. Director Qin said, "If Ouyang hasn't told you, or if he says no girl has ever liked him, then I think Ouyang is lying to you, and he's not completely open with you. According to what you've said, he's so outstanding, having been in university for three years, there must be girls who like him."

Liu Yan said, "So what if someone likes him? He loves me now." "How could someone like him not have anyone who likes him? Ouyang told me, and I've met her, that there's a girl who really likes him, and that girl is prettier than me. But Ouyang likes me. Ouyang didn't hide anything from me; he told me all these things." Director Qin nodded and said, "So Ouyang is a very honest guy; he's sincere towards you." Liu Yan said, "Of course he's exceptionally outstanding." Director Qin said, "The reason I asked you these questions is that you might not be able to let go of Ouyang, and you think Ouyang wouldn't be able to bear losing you. But I don't think so. With someone as talented as him, he'll quickly find a good girl after breaking up with you. Just now you said there's a girl prettier than you who likes him very much, which makes me even more relieved. To be honest, I'm also worried about him. If you break up with him and he can quickly find a girl who loves him, he won't be so heartbroken.

That would be better for him too." Liu Yan's heart trembled, and tears kept flowing as her mother spoke. Now, seeing that her mother had finished speaking, she shook her head and said sadly, "Mom, I don't want to, I don't want to!" "Director Qin said, 'Since you care so much about Ouyang, you should think about him too. Aren't you in this situation now? Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. Think about it slowly. Listen to me, don't cry anymore. I understand how you feel, but this isn't about crying. You need to think about it carefully and comprehensively. You might not understand in a day or two. But you'll understand eventually.'

Liu Yan cried and said, 'I don't understand, how can I understand? He's the one who harmed me, but I have to marry him. How can I understand?' Director Qin sighed, and after thinking for a moment, decided to strike at Liu Yan's weak spot, saying, 'I've already said a lot. He's the one who harmed you, but you were half-hearted at the time. Okay, okay, stop talking. Perhaps you were destined to be a member of the Zhang family. Think about it slowly, child.'" Liu Yan's body trembled again.

For a long while, neither mother nor daughter spoke. Director Qin suddenly thought of a question and turned to Liu Yan, asking, "Yanzi, tell me the truth, did you and Ouyang do 'that'?"

Liu Yan was startled, and after thinking for a while, she blushed and said, "I won't hide it from you. Ouyang and I did." Although Director Qin had suspected it, he was still surprised. He felt angry and wanted to scold her, but after thinking for a moment, he said, "You must never let anyone know what happened between you and Ouyang, understand?"

Liu Yan thought to herself: Who would I tell this to! She remained silent. Director Qin said, "What I mean is, even if you and Zhang Lei are together in the future, you must never mention this. Men care a lot about this." He paused and then asked, "Didn't Zhang Lei suspect anything that day?" Liu Yan said, "He asked me the next day, and I scolded him." Director Qin asked, "What was his reaction at the time?" Liu Yan said, "He said he was just asking casually and didn't mean anything by it." "Director Qin thought for a moment and said, 'It seems he only suspected, but he didn't expect you to do such a thing. Otherwise, he and his mother wouldn't have said they liked you, and they wouldn't have said they genuinely liked you and wanted to marry you when they came to our house. Remember, you must keep it to yourself.'

Liu Yan was angry and said, 'Don't say I haven't thought about marrying him yet, even if I did, who knows how many women he's been with. Would he have suffered a loss?'

Director Qin said, 'Men and women are different. You are even more different from other girls. Our family has status. Understand?' Liu Yan was unconvinced, but she knew her mother was right. Director Qin said, 'Go to sleep. You have to go to work tomorrow. Think about what I said tonight when you have time. You can't figure it out in a short time. Think more about Ouyang, and you'll understand that leaving him is better for him. Think about yourself and us too. I've told you everything today. The key is still yourself. I don't want to say anything more. Your father will be back in a couple of days, and you absolutely mustn't let him know about this.'" Otherwise, no one can control your father's temper, and things will be completely out of control then. "He paused and said, "Speaking of your father, I have a few more words to say. If you don't marry Zhang Lei but marry Ouyang or someone else, and if Zhang Lei tells your father about your affair later, you can imagine how angry your father will be. And what uncontrollable things he might do. I'm really worried about this."

That night, Liu Yan and her daughter lay on the same bed for a long time without sleeping. The mother and daughter were each thinking about different things. Neither of them spoke, even though they knew the other was not asleep, they were unwilling to say anything more.

Love and Desire (90)

Chapter 88

Fan Xurui arrived at Ouyang Yiming's house at around 3 p.m. After Ouyang Yiming opened the door for him, Fan Xurui looked at Ouyang Yiming's ashen face and didn't say anything. Ouyang Yiming smiled at him and asked, "When did you get back?" Fan Xurui bent down, tied up his bicycle, and ignored him. He entered Ouyang Yiming's room, tears welling in his eyes, his face dark, and punched Ouyang Yiming in the chest. Ouyang Yiming staggered, staring at him in astonishment. He was startled by Fan Xurui's expression upon entering and his sudden action. Steadying himself, he stared blankly at Fan Xurui

, speechless. The two men, who had been like brothers since childhood, gazed at each other in silence. After a moment, Fan Xurui finally managed to utter a few mournful words from his trembling lips:

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ouyang Yiming was bewildered for a moment, then saw tears welling up in Fan Xurui's eyes. Hearing his words, he suddenly understood that Fan Xurui was acting this way because of his grandmother. His heart ached, and he said, "You went to such a faraway place..." Fan Xurui shouted through tears, "So I could just die out there? Is your grandmother not my grandmother?" Ouyang Yiming's tears streamed down his face, and he shook his head painfully, his head hanging low.

Fan Xurui had come back from visiting his own grandparents and heard from his mother about Ouyang Yiming's grandmother's death. He had thrown a tantrum at home, complaining that his mother hadn't told him by phone or telegram. After crying for a while, he came to Ouyang Yiming's house. His feelings for Ouyang Yiming's grandparents were arguably deeper than his own.

Fan Xurui's shouting startled the whole family. Ouyang Anping, Mao Yuqin, Ouyang Mei, and Ouyang Dongdong all rushed to Ouyang Yiming's room. Seeing Fan Xurui's tears, they instantly understood, and their hearts ached. Ouyang Anping walked to Fan Xurui's side and said, "You and your father went so far away, it's not good to ask you to come back." Fan Xurui looked at Ouyang Anping with tearful eyes and said, "But...but I'll never see Grandma again." Hearing this, Ouyang Anping's tears also streamed down her face. Fan Xurui then hugged Ouyang Anping's waist and cried. Then everyone cried again.

Ouyang Mei cried a few times, covered her mouth, and went back to her room crying. Mao Yuqin said with tears in her eyes, "Xiao Rui, your grandma knows you love her. Old people have to leave sooner or later, so don't cry." Ouyang Anping wiped away her tears, patted Fan Xurui's shoulder, and said, "Xiao Rui, don't cry." Fan Xurui continued to cry. Mao Yuqin said, "Listen to your child, it makes us all feel bad when you cry. Look how thin Yiming has become these days..." As she spoke, she sobbed again. After a while, everyone stopped crying. Fan Xurui stood there with his head down for a while, then wiped away his tears and said to Mao Yuqin, "Yiming and I will go see Grandma and burn some paper money for her." Mao Yuqin said, "That's fine." After thinking for a moment, she said, "There's a place selling paper money on the east side of Zhuangyuan Bridge; you'll be passing by there." As she spoke, she took out some money and said, "Take this money." Fan Xurui hurriedly pushed Mao Yuqin's hand away and said, "I brought it with me. How can I take your money to burn paper money for Grandma?" Mao Yuqin asked, "You really brought it?" Fan Xurui said, "Aunt Mao, I really brought it."

The group left the house, with Ouyang Yiming and Fan Xurui each pushing a bicycle out the door, and Mao Yuqin following behind, saying, "When you burn paper money for your grandma, draw a circle in front of the grave, leaving an opening facing the grave."

Neither of them asked why. Mao Yuqin said, "Don't come back too late. Come back for dinner tonight." Fan Xurui said, "We'll see. If you come back late, you can eat first. Yiming and I might not come back for dinner." After walking a few steps, he asked Ouyang Yiming, "After burning paper money for Grandma, I want to go see Grandpa." Ouyang Yiming said, "Grandpa eats here tonight." Fan Xurui turned back to Mao Yuqin, who was turning to go home, and said, "Aunt Mao, Yiming and I will come back for dinner tonight. I want to see Grandpa." Mao Yuqin agreed. Ouyang Yiming and Fan Xurui got into the car.

The two didn't talk much on the way. At a coffin shop not far from Zhuangyuan Bridge, Fan Xurui bought some paper money, paper ingots, and other joss paper, put them in a large black plastic bag, hung it on the front of the car, and rode out of the city. Only then did Fan Xurui intermittently ask about the old lady's fall off the cliff and her hospitalization. Ouyang Yiming told him in detail. Fan Xurui occasionally complained that he should have told him when Grandma was hospitalized, fearing Meizi would find out before her exams. He added, "How could I not keep it a secret? I didn't even get to see Grandma one last time. Spending a few days with her in the hospital was the least I could do to be filial." Both of them were heavy-hearted as they spoke, their eyes reddening.

Ouyang Yiming then asked how his grandparents in Taiyuan were doing. Fan Xurui said, "Grandpa just had a cold, nothing serious. He's getting old and missed us. He got better after we visited." Fan Xurui sighed, "You know how much I love my grandparents. I haven't seen my own grandparents much since I was little, but I consider your grandparents my own. My feelings for them are even stronger than for my own. I'm really heartbroken that you didn't tell me." Ouyang Yiming understood Fan Xurui's feelings for the elderly and regretted not telling him when Grandma was hospitalized.

Seeing the old woman's new grave on the hillside in the distance, both Ouyang Yiming and Fan Xurui felt heavy-hearted. They pushed the cart uphill in silence. Upon arriving at the old woman's grave, Fan Xurui, after parking his bike, stood before it, tears streaming down his face, gazing at it motionless. Ouyang Yiming stayed with him for a while, then turned to retrieve the plastic bag containing paper money for the dead, which was hanging on the front of the bike. Just then, he heard Fan Xurui call out mournfully from behind, "Grandma, Xiao Rui has come to see you." Ouyang Yiming turned back and saw Fan Xurui throwing himself onto his grandmother's grave, weeping bitterly. At that moment, Ouyang Yiming could no longer control himself. He put down the plastic bag, knelt down, buried his face in his hands, and sobbed uncontrollably.

The two men wept like this for a while, neither offering any comfort. After a long while, they gradually stopped crying, and Ouyang Yiming took the bag. Fan Xurui drew a circle on the ground in front of the grave, leaving an opening facing the grave. Ouyang Yiming took the contents of the bag out and placed them into the circle, saying, "Grandma, Xiao Rui has come to bring you money." Fan Xurui took out a match and lit it. After a while, the two men kowtowed three times towards the grave. After getting up, they turned and walked to their bicycles. Just as they were about to push them, they heard a whoosh of wind behind them. Turning around, they saw a whirlwind suddenly appear in front of the grave, where there had been no wind just moments before. The whirlwind spun rapidly in front of the grave, then swept up the pile of ashes they had just burned and shot it into the sky before disappearing.

Ouyang Yiming and Fan Xurui stared blankly for a while, then looked at each other, both feeling a sense of fear, and neither spoke. They turned around and silently pushed their bicycles over, glancing back at the old woman's grave one last time. They slowly rode their bicycles down the mountain.

Once on the main road, Ouyang Yiming wondered if he should tell Fan Xurui about Xu Hui's visit. Xu Hui's matter had been weighing heavily on his mind these past few days. After riding for a while, they reached a willow grove by the old course of the Yellow River. Ouyang Yiming said, "Xurui, let's sit by the river for a while and talk. I've been feeling really stifled these past few days." Fan Xurui nodded. The two got out of the car and pushed it into the woods. They

sat down under a lush willow tree. Ouyang Yiming picked up a branch and drew circles on the ground in front of him, sighing heavily as he thought about his relationship with Xu Hui. Fan Xurui looked at him and said, "Don't be sad. The elderly can't always be there for us. You've definitely lost a lot of weight lately." Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment before saying, "Xurui, I'm like this not just for Grandma." Fan Xurui looked at him, puzzled. Ouyang Yiming said, "There's something I've never told anyone, and it's driving me crazy." Fan Xurui asked, "What happened?" Ouyang Yiming said, "It's about my relationship. I can only tell you this. Can you give me some advice?" Fan Xurui nodded.

Ouyang Yiming said, "Do you remember last year when I was hospitalized at that military hospital? Jin Ling, the dimpled nurse you mentioned, the beautiful nurse she was talking about, right?" Fan Xurui thought for a moment and said, "I know. I've met her. She was the one who took me to your study room. That nurse was really pretty." Ouyang Yiming said, "I fell in love with her while I was hospitalized."

Fan Xurui's eyes widened as she looked at him, her face instantly lighting up with surprise. "Really? I said you two were a perfect match back then." She patted his shoulder and said, "I didn't expect that. You're really something, managing to snag that beauty in just a few days." Ouyang Yiming shook his head and said, "When I saw her, and she saw me, I don't know why we both had those strange feelings." Fan Xurui said excitedly, "That's love at first sight, isn't it? I say, you two really are a perfect match." Ouyang Yiming smiled.

Fan Xurui said, "If that's the case, you two have been in love for almost a year now. How come I've never heard you mention it?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I haven't told anyone." Fan Xurui said, "That's not right of you. If you didn't tell anyone else, you should at least tell me." After thinking for a moment, he said, "By the way, didn't she come to your house during winter break?" Ouyang Yiming said, "No." Fan Xurui said, "That can't be right. I heard that a female classmate of yours came over, and that she's quite pretty. Who else could it be but her?" Ouyang Yiming asked, "When did you hear that?" Fan Xurui said, "I really didn't know she came over during winter break. You know best. We came back together. I only heard about it from her when I was chatting with my mom during this holiday. She said she's very pretty. I was wondering why you didn't tell me."

Ouyang Yiming asked, "Didn't you hear anything when you came back from Shanxi?" Fan Xurui said, "I only got home at noon. After I got back, I heard that my grandmother had passed away. I had a fight with my mother, blaming her for not sending a telegram to tell me. I didn't hear my mother say anything either. Did she come because of my grandmother's passing?"

Ouyang Yiming sighed and lowered his head, saying, "Xurui, I was just about to tell you about this. Neither of those two people who came was Liu Yan; it was my classmate Xu Hui." Fan Xurui was stunned for a moment and asked doubtfully, "Not her? You and Xu Hui also..." Ouyang Yiming hurriedly interrupted him, saying, "Xurui, let me explain slowly. There's nothing between Xu Hui and me..." Fan Xurui interrupted him again, asking, "If there's nothing between you and her, why did she come twice?" Ouyang Yiming turned to look at the puzzled Fan Xurui and said, "Listen to me, I've been really troubled by this matter lately." Fan Xurui nodded.

So Ouyang Yiming recounted in detail his relationship with Liu Yan, how Liu Yan was the daughter of a high-ranking official, Xu Hui's feelings for him, his grandmother's dying wish to see Xu Hui, and how his grandmother entrusted the family heirloom bracelet to Xu Hui. Fan Xurui, somewhat angry after listening, said, "Yiming, I don't care what your reasons are, but the way you handled this was utterly foolish.

Yes, I'm more of a playboy than you, and I've had relationships with women. But let me tell you, I've never encountered anything like this. Xu Hui's feelings for you are the purest I've ever had. From what you've said about her, I can tell she's the kind of girl who's extremely devoted in relationships. How could you bear to hurt such a girl? You need to understand, hurting someone physically is nothing, but breaking a girl's heart is a lifelong pain. How could you do this! Why didn't you tell Xu Hui clearly after you started dating Liu Yan?!" Ouyang Yiming's face flushed red, as if every word Fan Xurui uttered was a slap across his face; he felt a burning sensation on his cheek.

After speaking, Fan Xurui turned away, clearly angry, staring straight ahead without saying a word. Ouyang Yiming waited a while before saying, "Xurui, let me explain in detail. I really had no choice." Fan Xurui turned to look at him without speaking. Ouyang Yiming then recounted in detail his conversation with Liu Yan and his fear of hurting Xu Hui.

Fan Xurui listened in silence. After a long pause, he said, "Yiming, I know you mean well, your intentions are kind, but now things are getting more and more out of control. This will hurt Xu Hui even more." Ouyang Yiming shook his head painfully and said, "I know, so I really don't know what to do now." Fan Xurui sighed and said, "There really isn't a good way."

Ouyang Yiming said, "I originally thought that telling Xu Hui about Liu Yan and me before graduation would lessen her pain. I thought that if I didn't talk to her about my feelings before graduation, nothing would happen. Who could have known she would come during winter break? Who could have known that Grandma would pass away this summer? Before Grandma passed away, she insisted that Xu Hui come? You know, Grandma was like that then, how could I bear to refuse her? I've thought about it countless times these past few days, it seems like everything is arranged in the dark. Things you never dream of happen."

Fan Xurui thought silently for a while, then sighed: “That’s true! Thinking back on your original thoughts, they made sense. You wanted to minimize Xu Hui’s pain, you didn’t want her to face your suffering every day at school, and you were afraid this would affect your studies. But things are getting more and more complicated now. It’s really unbelievable. I really don’t know what to do now. If you tell Xu Hui about you and Liu Yan after school starts, she might break down at school, and then you two might not be able to attend school for your final year. Not telling her is really unfair to Xu Hui. Sigh!”

Ouyang Yiming said, “I’ve thought about everything, and I’ve even considered intentionally distancing myself from her, but that would make Xu Hui suspicious, uncomfortable, and she might question me. I just want to continue as before, just try to have less contact with her. I thought about telling her about my fear with Liu Yan during school hours. But when I think about telling Xu Hui about this before graduation, I’m still afraid.” Fan Xurui said:

“It’s better to say it at graduation than now. That way, she’ll feel better if you don’t see her. In my opinion, the only way is as you said. Minimize contact this year and don’t talk about feelings. If she brings it up, just brush it off and say you’ll talk about it after graduation. There’s no other good way. I’m just worried about what might happen this year.”

Ouyang Yiming said anxiously, “Yes, I hope nothing else happens.” Fan Xurui said, “Don’t keep thinking like this all the time; it’ll only make things worse. I think a girl as beautiful and outstanding as Xu Hui will definitely find a very outstanding boyfriend.” "Perhaps it will be painful for a while, but it will get better. You don't need to blame yourself anymore. You two haven't discussed feelings yet, it's not like you and Xu Hui have already made your relationship public and then you got together with Liu Yan, and you're not two-timing. The only thing you feel sorry for her about now is

that you let her come when her grandmother passed away. But there was nothing you could do about it. Besides, it's directly related to her coming uninvited during winter break. Of course, Xu Hui is partly to blame, but I still admire a girl who is so devoted to you. I feel sorry for the emotional blow she will suffer." Ouyang Yiming said, "My heart trembles just thinking about it. Although Xu Hui and I didn't have any feelings for each other, I still feel..." She felt an indescribable familial affection. This feeling was the same as my feelings for Ouyang Mei and Ouyang Dongdong; I was genuinely afraid of hurting her in the end. Fan Xurui said, "Ultimately, you'll hurt her; there's no escaping it. Let's do it your way and talk about it before graduation. But I want to ask you, why didn't you tell your family about your relationship with Liu Yan?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "I was worried my parents wouldn't approve, after all, they're a high-ranking official's family. I was afraid they'd worry about their disapproval and try to stop us. I wanted to wait until Liu Yan and her family reached an agreement before telling our family. That was the original plan. But I never expected Xu Hui to come here..." "This is a matter," Fan Xurui said. "Do you think Liu Yan's family will approve of your relationship?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "To be honest, I'm worried. But Liu Yan said there's no problem, so how can we say for sure now? She also wants to talk to her parents about us before I graduate, because she's afraid that her parents' thinking might change over time. I think, given Liu Yan's attitude, they'll approve of our relationship." Fan Xurui said, "If Liu Yan is really determined, I don't think there will be any problems. But..." He didn't finish speaking before standing up and saying, "Let's go home, it's getting dark." Ouyang Yiming didn't ask about the half-sentence Fan Xurui was leaving unsaid.

Ouyang Yiming stood up and said, "Don't tell anyone about these things." Fan Xurui said, "I know. In the future, if anything happens, talk about it. Why keep it to yourself? It's better for both of us to give each other advice than for you to keep it to yourself. Just talking about it will make you feel better." Ouyang Yiming nodded.

Love and Desire (91)

Chapter 89

At midday that morning, Ouyang Anping strode in, his face beaming with joy, holding a bright red admission notice. He called out as he entered, "Yuqin, Xiaomei, the notice is here! Fudan University, Department of Electronic Engineering!" This shout drew the whole family to the courtyard. Ouyang Yiming happily took the notice, but before he could even glance at it, Ouyang Mei snatched it away. Mao Yuqin and Ouyang Mei then looked at it together, heads close together. Ouyang Dongdong squeezed in front of his mother and sister, craning his neck to see.

Mao Yuqin, her eyes brimming with tears of excitement, said, "I finally got in! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was so anxious these past few days until the acceptance letter arrived. Now I'm so relieved!" Ouyang Mei smiled and said, "I knew you'd pass."

Ouyang Anping patted Ouyang Dongdong's head and said, "Dongdong, your brother and sister are both university students now, it's all up to you." Ouyang Dongdong looked at his sister, tilted his head back, and said, "Look how happy you are! So what if I got into Fudan University? I won't go anywhere else but Peking University!" Everyone laughed. Mao Yuqin raised her hand and patted Ouyang Dongdong's cheek, saying, "Really? Don't exaggerate." Ouyang Dongdong said, "I'm not exaggerating! I even want to graduate from Peking University and go study at Harvard!" Everyone laughed again. Ouyang Anping smiled and said, "Good, that's the spirit! You'll surpass your brother and sister."

The whole family was immersed in an atmosphere of boundless joy. Once inside, when they started talking about Ouyang Mei's chosen major, Ouyang Anping said, "Electronic Engineering is a very popular major. Fudan University only established this department two years ago. As technology advances, its applications in various fields will become increasingly widespread. This major is quite good." Mao Yuqin nodded and said, "Yes, I hope to get a good job after graduation." Ouyang Mei said with a smile, "Some of my classmates are also very interested in this major."

After a few laughs and chats, Ouyang Mei, holding the bright red acceptance letter in her hands, suddenly burst into tears, followed by sobs. All eyes turned to her.

For a moment, everyone assumed she was overjoyed that her years of hard work had finally paid off, earning her admission to a prestigious university. Ouyang Yiming was about to say something to his sister when Ouyang Mei cried out "Grandma!"

and covered her face, sobbing uncontrollably. This single cry instantly turned everyone's joy into sorrow. They all wept.

After a while, Ouyang Anping said, "Don't be like this. Today is supposed to be a happy day. Your grandma will be happy to know, and she won't want us crying like this." Turning to Ouyang Yiming, he said, "Later, go to your grandpa's and tell him that Xiao Mei got into university. Bring him over, and we'll all go to a restaurant for lunch to celebrate." Mao Yuqin chimed in, "How about this: Xiaoming, go tell his grandfather about Xiaomei's acceptance into the university, and we'll all go to her grandmother's grave to burn some paper money. We should also tell her about this." Ouyang Anping nodded and said, "Okay, that's settled. Xiaoming, don't go to the grave. You can bring your grandfather over later and stay home with him. We'll go out for dinner together when we get back." Ouyang

Yiming agreed and got up, pushing his bicycle to his grandfather's house.

On the way, he thought about how happy his grandfather would be to hear that Ouyang Mei had been accepted. Then he remembered that Xu Hui had been so determined to get Ouyang Mei into Fudan University; she might be just as happy to hear that Ouyang Mei had been accepted. Suddenly, he thought of his relationship with Xu Hui and his heart sank. Then he thought of Liu Yan, and silently rode for a while, thinking that she should know such great news. This thought was so strong once it took hold. He realized he hadn't spoken to Liu Yan on the phone for many days, so he looked up at the roadside. He came across a public phone booth and pushed his bicycle over.

He dialed Liu Yan's number, and Ouyang Yiming couldn't contain his excitement, but he didn't speak when he heard the phone answer. After saying "hello" twice, Liu Yan asked, "Where is this?" Ouyang Yiming chuckled twice and said, "Yan, it's me. Who is this?" Liu Yan said, "Oh, it's you. I haven't heard from you for so many days." "How many days is that? It's only ten or so days," Ouyang Yiming said. "It felt like a month to me. How are you?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm alright." Liu Yan said, "You need to take care of yourself. Don't dwell on the passing of your elders."

Hearing Liu Yan mention his grandmother, Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness. Then, remembering that he had called Liu Yan mainly to share good news, he said, "I know. I have some good news for you." Liu Yan asked, "What good news?" Ouyang Yiming excitedly said, "My sister, hehe, also your sister, our sister, got into Fudan University!"

Liu Yan was clearly excited as well, saying, "Really? That's wonderful! Congratulations to her!" Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "I just received the acceptance letter a little while ago. I'm on my way to Grandpa's house, and I wanted to tell you first." Liu Yan said, "This is good news." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, it's good news for our family, so I wanted you to know." Liu Yan didn't speak immediately, but after a moment said, "Ouyang, you two siblings are really something. You, you're really something."

Ouyang Yiming didn't catch the tone in Liu Yan's voice and said, "Don't say that now. You're talking to me like that now too. With us siblings like this, you're proud of yourself, aren't you?"

Liu Yan paused for a moment and said, "That's right."

Ouyang Yiming sensed that Liu Yan sounded weak and asked, "Liu Yan, what's wrong with you today?" Liu Yan said, "Nothing, nothing at all." Ouyang Yiming said, "I hear you talking..." Liu Yan said, "I haven't been feeling well these past two days." Ouyang Yiming became anxious and said, "But you still have to go to work, why don't you go to the hospital?" Liu Yan said, "August 1st is in a few days, our club is quite busy these days, there's a party in the auditorium, so these past two days..." Ouyang Yiming interrupted before she finished, "But you can't neglect your health! You must go see a doctor if you're not feeling well." There was silence from Liu

Yan again. Just then, Ouyang Yiming heard two sobs from Liu Yan and his heart tightened. He asked, "Liu Yan, what's wrong?" Liu Yan said, "Nothing."

Ouyang Yiming said, "I think I heard you crying." Liu Yan said, "No, no, you must have misheard."

Ouyang Yiming was puzzled. Could he really have misheard? Liu Yan said, "Ouyang, you must take care of yourself." Ouyang Yiming was puzzled again and said, "Why are you talking incoherently? Didn't you just say that?" Liu Yan said, "Did I say that? Maybe I've been too busy these past few days; I'm almost out of it." Ouyang Yiming said, "That's what I should be saying. You said you were sick but didn't go to see a doctor. How can I be at ease? You can't work yourself to death!" Liu Yan said, "I'm fine, don't worry." Ouyang Yiming said, "How can I not worry?

I was relieved when you were transferred to live with your parents, but seeing you like this makes me even more worried." "Listen, go see a doctor right now."

Liu Yan remained silent on the other end. Ouyang Yiming seemed to faintly hear Liu Yan sobbing again, his heart pounding. He said, "Liu Yan, I clearly heard you crying, what's wrong?"

Liu Yan burst into tears on the phone, saying, "Yiming, I'm not sick at all, it's just... I miss you. Yiming, I really miss you so much!"

Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness, hearing Liu Yan sobbing softly, her eyes reddening uncontrollably. He said, "Liu Yan, I miss you too. How can I not worry about you when you're like this?" Liu Yan

cried, "Yiming, I think about you every day, I can't sleep, I just miss you. When I don't receive your call, it's... it's a little better, but as soon as I hear your voice, I... I can't control myself." Ouyang Yiming said, "Then how about this, I'll come see you in a couple of days." Liu Yan immediately said, "No, don't come." Ouyang Yiming frowned and said, "Didn't you say you missed me?" "I miss you too," Liu Yan said. "I've been busy lately. Besides, what are you doing here in this heat? I felt much better after hearing your voice on the phone."

Ouyang Yiming was just worried about Liu Yan. He didn't really have the courage to go to her house right now, so he said, "You must take care of yourself. You said you can't sleep every night. What will happen if this goes on for a long time? Won't your health collapse?!" Liu Yan said, "I'll be more careful in the future. What's wrong with you coming for two days? You'll still have to leave in a few days, and then I'll feel even worse. Besides, it's so hot and the road is so far." Ouyang Yiming said, "That's not a problem. I'm just worried that you'll feel even worse after I come back." Liu Yan quickly said, "That's right, that's exactly it." Ouyang Yiming said, "How about I call you more often?" Liu Yan said, "Making phone calls is expensive. And don't, don't call too often. Where would I get that much money for phone calls?

I can't call you either. " "Ouyang Yiming said, 'It's expensive, but as long as you're happy.'

Liu Yan said, 'I'm fine now. Just give me a call before you go back to school. We can still write letters.'

Ouyang Yiming said, 'I'll call you before school starts. Sigh, I can't wait to graduate. Liu Yan, there aren't many days left, less than a year, and soon we can be together.' Liu Yan paused for a moment, then said, 'I know. You should go tell Grandpa about your sister. This phone call will cost quite a bit.' Ouyang Yiming said, 'Okay, but you must take care of yourself.' Liu Yan said, 'I... I know.'" After saying that, he hung up the phone.

Ouyang Yiming felt that Liu Yan seemed strange today, and a sense of unease crept into his heart. He rode his bike for a while, thinking, but couldn't think of anything else. He figured it was probably because Liu Yan missed him so much that hearing his voice made her feel a pang of sadness. He thought back to when Liu Yan was transferred, their breakup, and their last phone call, during which she couldn't help but cry.

He thought to himself, even as a grown man, he sometimes felt a pang of sadness; how much more so for a girl? He then thought that if Liu Yan had waited until a while before his graduation to transfer back, things would have been much better. He pondered this for a while, his heart still heavy.

Riding into Xiucai Street, thinking about Ouyang Mei's university admission, Ouyang Yiming's excitement returned. The gate wasn't closed, and Ouyang Yiming saw his grandfather sitting on the porch, fiddling with a birdcage. Lifting his bicycle over the guardrail, Ouyang Yiming called out, "Grandpa!" The old man looked up and said, "Little Ming's here. I was just saying I'd go later."

Ouyang Yiming smiled broadly and said, "Grandpa, I've come to tell you the good news." The old man looked at him, his face instantly beaming, and said, "Is it true? Is it true that Little Mei got in?"

Ouyang Yiming fixed his bicycle and said, "Yes, Little Mei got in. The Department of Electronic Engineering at Fudan University." The old man stood up and said, "Really? My goodness!" "I can finally relax."

Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke, then he asked, "Where's Xiaomei?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "She went to Grandma's grave with my dad, mom, and Dongdong. Mom asked me to come and tell you."

Tears streamed down the old man's face as he wiped them away, saying, "That's good, that's good."

He led Ouyang Yiming into the house, to the eight-immortal table, and looked at the old lady's portrait hanging on the wall, saying, "Old woman, Xiaomei passed the exam. You should be happy now." Hearing his grandfather's words, a mixture of joy and sorrow, Ouyang Yiming's tears also flowed. He silently looked at the old lady's portrait without saying a word. After a while, the father and son sat down at the eight-immortal table. The old man said, "It's a pity your grandmother didn't get to see Xiaomei get into university. Of the three of you, she loved your sister the most. Our Ouyang family has had only one son for generations, and it's only with your generation that the family has flourished. It's also the first time in several generations that we have a girl like this. Your grandmother has cherished her dearly. Now that Xiaomei has gotten into university, your grandmother will be smiling over there."

Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "Dad told me to pick you up and take you home. We won't eat at home for lunch; Dad said he'd find a restaurant to celebrate for Xiaomei." The old man said, "Good, good, we should celebrate." Yang Yiming said, "Why don't you take a car to my house later?" The old man said, "I'll pack up and go right away." Ouyang Yiming said, "No rush, they'll be at Grandma's grave for a while." The old man nodded and said, "I'll pack up and take two bottles of wine with me." He looked down and thought for a moment, then turned to look at the front door and said, "Xiaoming, go and lock the front door." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Why lock the front door when we're leaving soon?" The old man said, "Go and lock it, I have something to do." Ouyang Yiming looked at the old man with a puzzled expression, then got up and went out of the main house. He closed and locked the front door. When he returned, he saw that Grandpa had already put away the birdcage on the corridor floor.

The old man stood in the corridor, a pile of bottles beside him. Looking at Ouyang Yiming, he said, "We're out of wine. I'll take you to the basement." Ouyang Yiming was startled and asked, "Basement? Our family has a basement?" The old man said, "Outsiders don't know about our basement. Right now, only your grandma, your dad, and I know. I'm telling you now that you're older. Remember, don't tell anyone—not your mom, your sister, your brother, and definitely not any outsiders." Seeing his grandfather's serious expression, Ouyang Yiming nodded solemnly.

The old man stood there without moving, saying, "Your late grandfather, the scholar, didn't leave behind our family's vinegar-making secret recipe before he died. Back then, when my grandfather's business was booming, without this secret recipe, we couldn't make the same vinegar as before, and the business gradually declined. My grandfather searched everywhere, but couldn't find it. The vinegar business collapsed in just a few years. I heard my father say that back then, our vinegar wasn't just famous in Pancheng, but in several surrounding provinces, all thanks to that secret recipe. Before my grandfather died, he made a rule: unless there was war or other unavoidable circumstances, the women in the family couldn't enter this basement. In peaceful years, only the men in the family could be told; not a single woman could be told. When the Japanese came, your grandmother and your father hid here." "Go to the basement. Only your grandmother knows about this place among the women in our family. Why? My grandfather always believed that the secret recipe for making vinegar was hidden in the basement, but he just couldn't find it. He wanted the next generation of men in the Ouyang family to find it and revive the vinegar business that he had lost. I told your father about it years ago, and your father and I searched the basement many times but couldn't find it. It's up to you and this vinegar to see if you have the right fate."

Ouyang Yiming said, "Even if I find it, I can't do this kind of business." The old man said, "I didn't say you have to do it. If you find it, you have to treasure it and pass it down from generation to generation. Maybe one generation will be able to use it. This is a family heirloom. You must never let others know about it." Ouyang Yiming nodded. The old man bent down and picked up four bottles, then let Ouyang Yiming pick up four more. He went into the easternmost room of the main house, took out the key, opened the door, turned on the light, and then closed and locked the door.

This was a storage room. Ouyang Yiming had been here twice before; the room was messy, with things scattered haphazardly. Usually, no one came in.

The old man led Ouyang Yiming to the inside, pointed to an old mahogany box, and said, "Push it to the west a bit." Ouyang Yiming went over and pushed the box, surprisingly without much effort. He then noticed a wooden plank where the box had been. The old man said, "Originally, this plank was covered with bricks, just like the four sides. Later, I found it troublesome and stopped putting the bricks on it. If anything changes in the future, we should put the bricks back on so no one can see them."

As he spoke, the old man squatted down and pushed the plank to the side; it was movable. At that moment, Ouyang Yiming saw a square hole about 1.5 meters wide, dark inside. The old man reached out and touched the bottom of the opening, and the cave instantly lit up. He said, "Your father installed this light years ago; we used to have to carry it in."

Ouyang Yiming saw a wooden ladder leading down from the opening, with a handrail on only one side. The old man went down first, saying, "This ladder is made of jujube wood; it's very sturdy. There are even several pillars at the bottom; it won't break for many years." Ouyang Yiming followed his grandfather down the ladder and saw a basement about the size of a room, with a domed ceiling and a 40-watt fluorescent light hanging in the center. What surprised Ouyang Yiming was that, despite being a basement, it wasn't damp at all, and the airflow was the same as above ground; it didn't feel stuffy. The walls and floor were all made of blue bricks, and the white plaster grooves were faintly visible in the cracks. The old man said, "These cracks in the wall are quite special. They're made of a mixture of white lime, a machete, glutinous rice juice, and pig's blood. They're sturdy and airtight." Ouyang Yiming nodded, and saw many identical wine jars neatly arranged against the wall. Ouyang Yiming asked, "Grandpa, is this the wine you've been hiding?" The old man said proudly, "I've hidden forty jars, and I've already drunk ten. I was reluctant to drink them before; I only started drinking this wine about ten years ago. Each jar weighs thirty jin, and without realizing it, I've drunk three hundred jin."

The old man laughed heartily as he spoke.

Ouyang Yiming looked around and asked his grandfather, "Why is this basement just as well-ventilated as the outside? There's nowhere for it to breathe." The old man walked to the wall and pointed to several recessed square holes, saying, "See these square openings? There's a passage here that leads directly from inside the wall to the top. Your father checked it carefully; the exit on the top of the wall is very well hidden, no one would notice it. This basement is well-ventilated, yet it's stuffy." Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but marvel at the ingenuity of the basement.

Ouyang Yiming said, "This basement has nothing but your wine. Look how empty it is, how could you possibly hide any secret recipe?" The old man said, "My grandfather said it's hidden here, but who would know? Maybe it's hidden somewhere inside. We'll take a look later. Who knows, we might find it right away." As he spoke, he opened a jar of wine, and instantly a rich aroma filled the basement. The old man took a bamboo wine vessel and a funnel made of tin from a jar, and handed the wine bottles he had brought in to Ouyang Yiming. Soon, eight bottles were filled. The old man sealed the jar. The father and son each took four bottles, and the old man said, "Now that your grandmother is gone, only your father, you, and I know about this. Don't tell outsiders how much wine we still have. This wine is enough for you to drink for the rest of your life." Ouyang Yiming smiled and nodded.

Ouyang Yiming rode his bike home with two bottles of wine and found that his parents and younger siblings were already there. Ouyang Yiming told his mother that his grandfather would be there soon by car. Ouyang Mei walked up to Ouyang Yiming, smiling broadly, and said, "I called Sister Xu Hui on my way back, and she was so happy." Ouyang Yiming frowned, lowered his head, and said, "Really?" Ouyang Mei said, "Sister Xu Hui wants us to come to her place." Ouyang Yiming was a little annoyed and said, "Why go there? Do you know how much trouble that will cause her?" Realizing his expression might not be very pleasant, he smiled and said, "We'll talk about it later. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future." Ouyang Mei said, "Going is only for your sake. You say later, so who dares to say anything? Now you're already worried about troubling your future in-laws, you know how to be considerate, but you're not like that now." Ouyang Yiming felt a little flustered and frowned, saying, "You talk too much."

Ouyang Mei noticed that her brother's expression was a little off, wondering what joke she had made wrong, and looked at him suspiciously. Seeing his younger sister's unnatural expression and the questioning look in her eyes, Ouyang Yiming inwardly blamed himself for speaking to her like that without her knowledge. He smiled at Ouyang Mei and said, "Why are you looking at me like that?" Seeing her brother smile, Ouyang Mei felt relieved and said with a straight face, "What nerve did I touch?" Ouyang Yiming glanced at her and said, "What father-in-law and mother-in-law? We don't even know what's going on there yet. I still have a year until graduation, and who knows when I'll get married? Who knows what might happen?" Ouyang Mei snorted and said, "If things change, it's your business. I think Sister Hui is completely devoted to you." Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat, and his face flushed instantly. He lowered his head and said, "What do you know at such a young age?" Ouyang Mei said, "Even a fool could see that." Ouyang Yiming was annoyed. He glanced at Ouyang Mei, wanting to say something but remaining silent.

Ouyang Mei smiled and leaned closer to her brother, asking, "Brother, is there another girl who likes you?" Ouyang Yiming was startled again, frowning as he looked at Ouyang Mei and said, "If you keep talking nonsense, I'll beat you up."

Ouyang Mei glared at him and said, "You dare! Let me tell you, no one treats you better than Sister Hui. If you find someone else to be my sister-in-law, I really won't accept her. Mom and Dad won't agree either." Hearing this, Ouyang Yiming felt even more gloomy, thinking that he couldn't talk to her anymore. "Okay," Ouyang Mei asked. "Where did Dad say we'd eat?" she asked. "He hasn't said yet," Ouyang Mei replied. "Mom said we'd discuss it when Grandpa comes. Tell Dad not to be so wasteful. Why should our family eat out?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Isn't today your big day, the day you passed the college entrance exam with flying colors? Are you being biased? When I got into university, we just celebrated at home." Ouyang Mei said, "You can't compare to me. I got into one of the top universities in the country. Your school is even a little worse than ours, right?" Ouyang Yiming laughed and said, "Yes, yes, you, Ouyang Mei, are amazing!" The siblings laughed.

Just then, Ouyang Mei's classmate came to find her, waving at her from the doorway. Ouyang Mei invited her in, but the classmate kept waving. Ouyang Yiming smiled at the girl as well. Ouyang Mei then went out.

After his sister left, Ouyang Yiming returned to his room and sat down. Thinking to myself, Xu Hui already holds a very important place among the adults and children in this family. If Liu Yan were to enter this family later, I'm afraid I wouldn't know how to explain it to my own family. Would they even accept Liu Yan?

I thought back to my phone call with Liu Yan earlier, and wondered why I always felt something was wrong during our last two phone calls. I'd never felt this way before. A heavy feeling settled in my heart. Could it be that, as Liu Yan said, she cried because she missed me? She said she didn't cry, but I clearly heard it.

Then I wondered if Liu Yan had told her family about us, and that's why they disapproved. My heart started to race. But then I thought, no, given Liu Yan's personality, she wouldn't cry over a little pressure. Even if her parents disapproved, Liu Yan would find a way to persuade them. Besides, we agreed not to tell our families now, and Liu Yan herself said she would only reveal our relationship to her parents before I graduated. There's still a whole year until graduation, and she probably wouldn't tell her family. So, was she really crying because she missed me?

Thinking it over, there couldn't be anything else. The only explanation was that she missed me. Then I remembered Liu Yan's heartbroken expression when we parted, and I thought to myself, women are different from men; they can't hide their feelings. Didn't she say she missed me on the phone just now? I shook my head and smiled to myself, thinking I was really overthinking things.

But whether Liu Yan's family would approve of them was always a worry for him!

A while later, the old man came home, beaming with joy, and said he wanted to go to "Deyuelou" for dinner. Ouyang Mei said, "How much will it cost to go there?" The old man said, "It doesn't matter how much it costs, as long as you're happy. Grandpa will pay for this meal." Mao Yuqin said, "Then you'll have to pay for it." The old man said, "When your mother was alive, I told her that when Meizi got into university, we would go to 'Deyuelou' to celebrate." Speaking of the old lady, everyone's hearts sank again, except for the old man who didn't notice her while he was talking.

Love and Desire (92)

Chapter 90

Ouyang Yiming arrived at school at around 4 pm two days before the start of the semester. When he entered, he saw Jiang Yuqi tidying up his bed. When she saw Ouyang Yiming enter, she stood up, her face full of smiles, and hugged him, saying, "I missed you so much." She then went to take Ouyang Yiming's luggage. After putting it down, she looked at Ouyang Yiming and asked, "Why have you lost so much weight?" Ouyang Yiming said, "It's hot, and I can't eat." Jiang Yuqi said, "I'm fine, I can eat and drink whether it's hot or cold."

The two talked for a while. Ouyang Yiming quickly tidied the bed, and the two went downstairs to talk about summer vacation. Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness thinking of his grandmother, but didn't tell Jiang Yuqi. He then brought up Ouyang Mei's admission to Fudan University. Jiang Yuqi was happy for Ouyang Yiming and exclaimed, "Your family is truly full of hidden talents! A girl is even more outstanding than us.

I used to be ambitious, wanting to get into Peking University, Tsinghua University, or Fudan University, but I didn't get in. My younger brother will be taking the college entrance exam next year; I wonder how it goes." Ouyang Yiming asked, "How were your grades?"

Jiang Yuqi said, "Not too ideal. I'd be happy if you could get into a junior college. The countryside is different from the city; getting into university is like escaping that rural trap, and that's enough."

Just then, they ran into their counselor. They greeted the counselor and exchanged a few pleasantries. The counselor said to Ouyang Yiming, "Ouyang, I want to say a few words to you." Jiang Yuqi tactfully moved a few steps to the side. The counselor looked at Ouyang Yiming with a grave expression and said, "Professor Cheng is hospitalized." Ouyang Yiming, seeing the counselor's expression and hearing this, felt a pang of anxiety and asked, "What happened to Professor Cheng?" The counselor shook his head and said, "You probably can't believe it, Professor Cheng has cancer." Ouyang Yiming gasped in shock, then hurriedly asked, "How is he now?" The counselor, his eyes reddening, said, "It's already in the late stage; he has at most about a month left." Ouyang Yiming's heart pounded, a wave of sorrow washing over him. His eyes reddened, and he anxiously asked, "Is there no treatment? Is there no other way? How could this happen?"

Seeing Ouyang Yiming's panicked expression and the tears welling in his eyes, the counselor sighed and said, "Don't get agitated. How could he not see a doctor? Several renowned experts from hospitals in Shanghai and Beijing have consulted with him and confirmed the diagnosis. He is now..." "Late stage." Ouyang Yiming's tears streamed down his face as he stared blankly at his counselor, his lips trembling as he said, "How could this happen? He seemed perfectly fine before the holiday." The counselor said, "He felt a little unwell before the holiday, and only went to the hospital for a checkup after the holiday started. Who knew it would be late-stage stomach cancer? It's already spread, and surgery is no longer an option. You're one of his star students. Yesterday, I went to the hospital to see him, and Professor Cheng asked about you, saying he wants you to come to the school when you return." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Which hospital is Professor Cheng in? I'll go right now." The counselor said, "He's in the oncology hospital now. Don't rush, go after dinner. He might have treatment this afternoon. Professor Cheng might want to talk to you about something. Yesterday, he told me not to bring you anything when I saw you. I think it wouldn't be good not to bring anything at all, just some fruit or something; there are vendors selling fruit near the hospital."

Ouyang Yiming nodded, still muttering to himself in disbelief, "How could this happen? How could this happen!" The counselor said, "There are too many unexpected things in life. Some things you just can't predict. Go tonight, but don't tell anyone about this. If your classmates find out, it will affect his rest. Professor Cheng also repeatedly told him to." The counselor then told him the specific ward and bed Professor Cheng was staying in. Ouyang Yiming nodded.

After the counselor left, Ouyang Yiming walked towards Jiang Yuqi. Seeing his sorrowful expression and tears still in his eyes, Jiang Yuqi asked, "What did the counselor say to you?" Ouyang Yiming looked at him and said, "Nothing." Jiang Yuqi frowned and said, "Look at you, what happened?" Ouyang Yiming turned to look at the departing counselor, pulled Jiang Yuqi along, stepped over the fence onto the lawn, and the two sat down. Ouyang Yiming said, "The counselor said not to tell anyone. I think it's okay to tell you, so please don't tell anyone else." Jiang Yuqi nodded.

So Ouyang Yiming told him about Professor Cheng's cancer diagnosis.

Jiang Yuqi sighed repeatedly, saying, "This is truly unbelievable. He seemed perfectly fine before the holiday, how could it suddenly be late-stage!" Ouyang Yiming said, "The counselor means that if too many classmates know, it will affect Professor Cheng's rest, so you shouldn't tell anyone." Jiang Yuqi said, "I won't tell. But now that I know, I can't just not go." Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "How about this, I'll go with you in a few days. Yesterday, the counselor went to see Professor Cheng, and Professor Cheng asked her to tell me he wanted to go, saying he had something to discuss. I'll go alone today, is that alright?"

Jiang Yuqi nodded and said, "That's fine too. Professor Cheng admires you the most. Your relationship with him is something we can't compare to." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness again and said, "Professor Cheng has always been good to me. My feelings for him are indeed very deep. To be honest, I consider him like my parents. This feeling is truly..." As she spoke, tears streamed down her face again.

Ouyang Yiming hurriedly ate dinner and left the restaurant intending to take someone to the Provincial Cancer Hospital. He had only walked a short distance when he encountered Xu Hui and Li Xuan. Xu Hui noticed Ouyang Yiming walking hurriedly with his head down and wondered what was on his mind. Li Xuan tugged at Xu Hui, saying, "Look at Ouyang, walking so fast, like he's going on a date." Xu Hui smiled, also wondering if something was wrong with Ouyang Yiming walking so quickly alone. As she approached, Xu Hui called out to him.

Ouyang Yiming stopped. Xu Hui saw his worried expression and asked, "Where are you going in such a hurry?" Ouyang Yiming looked at them both and said expressionlessly, "Nothing." Xu Hui and Li Xuan clearly didn't believe him. Xu Hui grew anxious and looked at him, saying, "If nothing's wrong, why are you in such a hurry?" Seeing Ouyang Yiming's strange expression, Li Xuan softly said to Xu Hui, "I'll walk a few steps first."

Xu Hui nodded. Li Xuan walked a few steps and waited for Xu Hui a short distance away. Xu Hui looked at Ouyang Yiming anxiously and asked, "What happened?" Ouyang Yiming sighed, his eyes reddening, and said,

"What could possibly happen to me?!" Xu Hui stared at him intently and said, "You're scaring people to death. What is it?" Ouyang Yiming's eyes reddened again, and he said, "Professor Cheng has cancer, and I'm going to the hospital." Xu Hui exclaimed in surprise, "How could that be? How did you know?"

Ouyang Yiming then told Xu Hui what his counselor had told him that afternoon. Finally, she said, "The counselor said not to tell anyone about this, afraid that many students would go and disturb Professor Cheng's rest. But you keep pressuring me to ask, and I can't refuse." Xu Hui said, "If you tell me, how could I tell anyone else! I thought something was wrong; you looked so scary just now.

What do you think Professor Cheng wants you to go about?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Professor Cheng is good to me. I was thinking about it just now, and it might be about the experiment. Now it seems we can't do it without him, so I guess he wants to talk to me about this." Xu Hui sighed and said, "I never expected this. I was hoping you could work with Professor Cheng on that experiment. But now..." She paused and said, "Go quickly."

After Ouyang Yiming left, Xu Hui frowned and walked up to Li Xuan. The two walked a few steps in silence. Li Xuan asked, "What's wrong with Ouyang?" Xu Hui thought for a moment and said, "It's about his family.

His grandmother passed away during the summer vacation." Li Xuan exclaimed in surprise, "Really? No wonder he looked so frightening. You could tell something was wrong just by looking at him. It's so unfortunate. What illness did he die from?"

Xu Hui said, "He fell while climbing the mountain." Li Xuan asked, "That's really unexpected." Xu Hui said, "Sigh, don't talk about it. I feel terrible too." She then recalled the scene of going to Ouyang Yiming's house to see his grandmother off, and her heart ached again.

Ouyang Yiming bought some fruit and some supplements at the hospital entrance, and after asking around, he found Professor Cheng's ward. Pushing open the door of the ward, he saw Professor Cheng lying on the bed, his eyes closed, receiving an IV drip. The environment and Professor Cheng's sickly appearance made Ouyang Yiming feel a pang of sadness, and his eyes filled with tears. He walked over a few steps, and Professor Cheng's wife looked at him and asked softly, "Who are you?"

Ouyang Yiming looked at Professor Cheng's wife and whispered, "I'm the professor's student." Professor Cheng's wife took the things from Ouyang Yiming's hands and said, "You just slept for a while, please sit down." Ouyang Yiming didn't sit down, standing there staring straight at Professor Cheng lying on the bed, his heart aching. He turned back, his eyes brimming with tears, and asked Professor Cheng's wife, "Auntie, how is Professor Cheng's condition now?" Professor

Cheng's wife again gestured for Ouyang Yiming to sit down, her eyes filled with tears, she shook her head, her lips trembling, unable to speak. Ouyang Yiming's tears streamed down his face, and he lowered his head. Professor Cheng's wife also shed tears, saying softly, "Who knew he would get so sick so suddenly? There were no warning signs before. He's had that old stomach ailment for over twenty years; we just thought it was that." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Does the professor know?" Professor Cheng's wife said, "He knows." Just then, Professor Cheng said, "Is that Ouyang?" Ouyang Yiming quickly wiped away his tears, stood up, and walked to the professor with a smile, asking, "Professor Cheng, are you feeling better?" Professor Cheng said, "I'm alright. When did you arrive at the school?" Ouyang Yiming said, "I just arrived this afternoon."

Professor Cheng nodded slightly and said, "Get a stool and sit here; I want to talk to you about something." Ouyang Yiming responded and went to get a stool, sitting down beside the professor's bed.

Professor Cheng tilted his head and looked at him, saying, "Ouyang, you are my most outstanding student. In the years since the resumption of the college entrance examination, you are the first student I've encountered who is so excellent in both character and academics."

Ouyang Yiming was somewhat excited, blushed slightly, lowered his head, and then raised it again. Professor Cheng said, "I had your advisor send a message asking you to come, and I think you know why."

Ouyang Yiming looked at the professor and nodded, saying, "Is it about the sugar syrup experiment?" Professor Cheng said, "I feel very sorry, but there's nothing I can do now. I can no longer guide you; I no longer have the ability." His eyes were filled with tears as he spoke. Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sorrow, tears welling in his eyes. "Professor Cheng," he said, "as long as you recover, it doesn't matter if I lose everything."

Professor Cheng smiled slightly and said, "It's impossible. I suppose you know about my condition."

Ouyang Yiming's tears flowed, and he shook his head painfully, murmuring, "How could this be?" Professor Cheng closed his eyes, clearly agitated. After catching his breath, he opened his eyes and looked at Ouyang Yiming, saying, "Child, everyone has this day. I'm not afraid. I've experienced a lot in my life. During the Cultural Revolution, I didn't teach for many years and suffered a lot, but what pains me most is not being able to stand on the podium and teach." He took a breath and said, "I've only been back at school for a few years. I wanted to cultivate more students like you. Our country needs talents like you now."

Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but sob. Professor Cheng said, "Don't be like this, wipe your tears." Ouyang Yiming nodded, took off his glasses, and lowered his head to wipe his tears, but the tears still wouldn't stop.

Professor Cheng said, "I'm at peace with leaving this world, but I'm not resigned to it. But there's nothing I can do." Ouyang Yiming felt another pang of sorrow. He simply wiped away his tears with a handkerchief, not daring to utter a sound.

Professor Cheng said, “I have high hopes for our experiment, and I believe we can do very well. After you gave me your initial ideas, I wrote down many specific steps. I can't complete them with you, so I want to pass these on to you. From now on, you must conquer this project, do you understand what I mean?” Ouyang Yiming nodded. Professor Cheng said, “I have full confidence in you, and I believe you will.” Ouyang Yiming said, “I will definitely try my best.” Professor Cheng said, “Not just try your best, you must complete it.” Ouyang Yiming looked at the professor and nodded solemnly, saying, “I will definitely complete it.” A relieved smile

appeared on Professor Cheng's face. He turned to his wife and said, “Bring me a paper bag from my purse.” Professor Cheng's wife hurriedly picked up a black purse, opened it, and took out a thick paper bag, handing it to him. Professor Cheng took the document, glanced at it, and handed it to Ouyang Yiming, saying, "I've written a lot in here; please keep it safe." Ouyang Yiming replied,

"I will." Professor Cheng said, "These are just my insights. Your experiments may differ significantly, since I haven't conducted this experiment myself. This is just for your reference."

Ouyang Yiming nodded.

Professor Cheng sighed and said, "This experiment may only be possible after you graduate, but I believe you can do it quickly." Ouyang Yiming said, "I will try my best as soon as possible." Professor Cheng nodded and said, "I really want to see it, but I won't be able to. However, even if I can't see it, you must tell me after you succeed." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness and said, "I'll tell you first when I succeed." Professor Cheng smiled and said, "We are both materialists. Even though we know it's just a wish, we still want to know from the other side." Tears streamed down Ouyang Yiming's face again.

Professor Cheng closed his eyes and took a few breaths, then opened them and said, "There's something else I need to tell you, but don't tell anyone about it." Ouyang Yiming nodded. Professor Cheng said,

"A few days ago, the president, several school leaders, and some department leaders came to see me, and I mentioned you to them. I gave them a general overview of your situation. My suggestion was to stay at the university after you graduate." Ouyang Yiming's heart skipped a beat. Professor Cheng continued, "Originally, I wanted to try to get you a place when you graduated, but that won't happen, so I had to talk to the leaders. They said they would consider it. The reason I want you to stay is that someone as talented as you deserves a lot of development. There are many professors here who can mentor you. I also have a wish that you can become a very accomplished professor at this university. Originally, I wanted you to stay by my side so I could mentor you properly. To be honest, I was a little selfish, not wanting to lose such a good student. Now, although I can't mentor you anymore, you can still achieve great things in this environment. I think the university will consider my opinion when assigning you to a position."

Ouyang Yiming's heart was filled with... Grateful, he nodded with tears in his eyes and said, "Thank you, Professor." Professor Cheng said, "Don't thank me. If you can achieve something, I'll be more satisfied than anything else." Ouyang Yiming said, "Don't worry, I won't forget your words." Professor Cheng said, "I believe in you."

Professor Cheng gazed at Ouyang Yiming and said, "Ouyang, there are some things you must remember. A person will experience many things in life, but you must always remember that you are a scholar. You should think about achieving more, so that you won't have any regrets when you pass away. I've thought that way too, and I've tried that way, but I encountered a special era. I didn't achieve anything, and I regret it." As he spoke, two lines of tears welled up in the professor's eyes. Ouyang Yiming quickly got up to wipe them away for him. The professor looked at him, composed himself, and continued, "I hope that you can become a very accomplished person in the chemical industry in the future, and that you can become a very influential person in the chemical industry both domestically and internationally. This is my hope, and I hope you can strive to achieve it." Ouyang Yiming said, "I will definitely try. I will remember." Professor Cheng then told him many principles of being a scholar. It wasn't

until several of Professor Cheng's relatives came to visit him that Ouyang Yiming said goodbye to Professor Cheng. As he left with tears in his eyes, Ouyang Yiming said, "Professor, I will come to see you often." Professor Cheng said,

"There's no need for often. Studying is the most important thing. Come again when you have time. I also want to see you often." As Ouyang Yiming turned around, tears streamed down his face again. After leaving the ward, he stood by a tree and cried for a while.

On the way back, he felt depressed and thought about Professor Cheng and his grandmother. He thought to himself: Human life is really very fragile!

Love and Desire (93)

Chapter 91

It wasn't too late when he returned to the dormitory. Jiang Yuqi saw Ouyang Yiming come in with a gloomy face and looked up at him silently. Ouyang Yiming glanced at him but didn't say anything. He walked to his bedside, sat down, and stood there for a while. He got up and put the paper bag he had brought back into his suitcase. Jiang Yuqi walked to his side, patted him, and whispered in his ear, "Go out for a walk." Ouyang Yiming looked at him and nodded.

The two went downstairs. Jiang Yuqi asked, "How is Professor Cheng now?" Ouyang Yiming gently shook his head and said, "Not good." Jiang Yuqi looked at him without speaking, her heart heavy.

Ouyang Yiming sighed, "This is something I never expected. It's unbelievable." Jiang Yuqi said, "There are so many things you can't predict in life. Take Zhu Haitao, for example. When he first entered the school, he seemed so full of energy. Who would have known he'd end up in jail?"

Ouyang Yiming glanced at Jiang Yuqi, inwardly scolding him for connecting Zhu Haitao and Professor Cheng. Suddenly, Ouyang Yiming thought of Li Xuan, Wu Yingying, and Jin Ling. Who could have known what unexpected things would happen to them? Even they themselves wouldn't have imagined it. He suddenly remembered Bai Xue, whom he had met. This was something he could never have dreamed of. How could it happen so casually? How many more unexpected things would happen in the future? What unforeseen events would occur? Thinking about this, he felt a sense of panic.

Jiang Yuqi said, "When I saw Xu Hui after dinner, she told me that if you had come earlier, she wanted me to accompany you out for a walk to cheer you up. She said you've been too depressed lately.

You didn't mention your grandmother's passing when you saw me." Ouyang Yiming was startled, wondering why Xu Hui would tell him about his grandmother, and then he remembered Xu Hui's visit to his house. He thought to himself that Xu Hui wouldn't tell Jiang Yuqi about this, but he still asked, "What else did Xu Hui say?" Jiang Yuqi said, "She didn't say much. She just said that when she saw you, she noticed you had lost a lot of weight, and when she asked you, you told her about your grandmother. Actually, didn't I ask you when I first saw you? You just said you couldn't eat because of the heat, and I believed you. How could I have imagined your grandmother's passing! It was right for you to tell Xu Hui, otherwise Xu Hui wouldn't be able to let you go." Ouyang Yiming sighed and said, "Why say all this? My grandmother's passing was an accident. I came home for vacation..." She was fine then, but in just a few days, she was gone. I hadn't planned to tell Xu Hui, but after dinner, she and Li Xuan saw me and kept asking me questions. I told her about Professor Cheng, and then she asked why I was so thin after just hearing about Professor Cheng. So

I told her about Grandma. Jiang Yuqi said, "Xu Hui still cares about you. Others would only ask casual questions when they see you like this; who would ask you more detailed questions?" Ouyang Yiming felt even heavier thinking about Xu Hui's feelings for him. Jiang Yuqi said, "Xu Hui didn't mention Professor Cheng. Did you tell her?" Ouyang Yiming nodded and said,

"I did."

Jiang Yuqi said, "I knew it. I also knew you wouldn't hide Professor Cheng from her. She didn't say anything, and I didn't ask, but I knew perfectly well." Ouyang Yiming said, "Seeing the professor like that, I really couldn't bear to have so many people bothering him." Jiang Yuqi said, "Professor Cheng is also a professor I respect very much. You know, it would be hard not to go see him. I think many classmates would feel the same way." Ouyang Yiming nodded and said, "That's only natural. After all, he's been our teacher for several years."

Just then, Ouyang Yiming heard Wu Yingying calling him. Looking in the direction of the voice, he saw Xu Hui and Wu Yingying sitting on the lawn not far away. Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, what a coincidence. Jiang Yuqi

said, "See, Xu Hui probably still can't let you go. Maybe she knows we often walk on this road, so she's waiting for you here." Ouyang Yiming didn't say anything. I walked over with Jiang Yuqi.

Seeing the two of them approaching, Xu Hui stood up and said to Wu Yingying, "I need to speak with Ouyang for a few minutes. You and Jiang Yuqi wait here for a while." Wu Yingying agreed and went to greet Ouyang Yiming and Jiang Yuqi. Upon reaching them, she said to Ouyang Yiming, "Xu Hui wants to speak with you alone for a few minutes." Ouyang Yiming frowned and walked over.

Xu Hui walked a few steps to a tree, and Ouyang Yiming approached and asked, "What are you two doing here?" He was thinking about what Jiang Yuqi had said earlier about waiting for him on purpose. Xu Hui said, "I guessed you might take a walk on this road when you came back, so I waited for you here. How is Professor Cheng?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Not good. He looks like a completely different person now, he's lost a lot of weight."

Xu Hui sighed and said, "Some things are really unexpected. Did Professor Cheng call you over because of that experiment?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes, but he can't do it now because of his illness.

He's very regretful and hopes that I can solve this problem in the future." Xu Hui nodded and said, "Yes, I feel very regretful too. It seems like he can't do it while he's still in school." Ouyang Yiming said, "Yes." Xu Hui sighed again and said, "Don't think about it anymore, we'll do it in the future. I have something else I wanted to tell you while I was waiting for you." Ouyang Yiming looked at her and asked, "What is it?" Xu Hui said, "I wanted to tell you before dinner, but I didn't because you were rushing to the hospital. It's like this, after receiving Meizi's call a few days ago about getting into university, my mother and I went to Shanghai."

Ouyang Yiming's heart sank. He thought to himself, Xu Hui must be talking about his future work arrangements. Xu Hui said, "I specifically went to my uncle's house to talk about our future jobs. When Meizi called me after getting into university, she said she'd told you about it. But I hadn't gone to Shanghai yet, and my mother was very busy. I thought it would be better for my mother to talk to my uncle. I originally planned to tell you later, but now that you know, I'm afraid you'll be anxious, so I thought I'd tell you sooner rather than later." Ouyang Yiming asked, "Is it about future job arrangements?" Xu Hui said,

"Yes. This time, my mother and I stayed at my uncle's house for a week."

Ouyang Yiming said "Oh," but wondered if he should tell her about Professor Cheng's offer to stay at the university. Actually, Ouyang Yiming was conflicted about staying at the university. To be honest, he really wanted to stay, but Liu Yan had gone to Jianghan City. What would he do if he stayed here? Some things just happen by chance; he didn't know how it would turn out this way. If Professor Cheng had revealed this information to him before Liu Yan's transfer, Liu Yan probably wouldn't have been transferred back to Jianghan. Hearing Xu Hui talk about work arrangements again, he thought to himself, even if I don't go to Jianghan, I'll stay at the university, or I'll go to Liu Yan and give up staying at the university; I'll never go to Shanghai. But he was both moved and uneasy by Xu Hui's feelings. He wanted to hear what Xu Hui had to say before mentioning staying at the university.

Xu Hui said, "Mom went to Uncle's house and told him about us." Ouyang Yiming's heart trembled, his face flushed instantly, he glanced at her and lowered his head, his heart pounding wildly. Xu Hui looked at him and continued, "Mom introduced you, and Uncle was quite satisfied. To be honest, Dad, Uncle, and Grandma all want to meet you." Ouyang Yiming looked up at her, then quickly lowered his head again.

Xu Hui said, "I told Uncle we wanted to work in research departments, research institutes, or something like that. Uncle said he really doesn't have any connections in those kinds of organizations." Ouyang Yiming instantly felt a surge of joy. Xu Hui said, "But he said he'd try to find some connections. He originally said getting into a large state-owned enterprise wouldn't be a problem." Ouyang Yiming said, "If it's not easy, then forget it."

Xu Hui looked at him in surprise upon hearing this. Ouyang Yiming said, "It's very troublesome to find connections." Xu Hui said, "No matter how troublesome it is, we have to find them. It's a lifelong matter, don't you want to get into a research institution?"

Ouyang Yiming said, "Many students want to get into research institutions after graduation, which makes it even harder, let alone two at once. How about this, don't worry about me, just have your uncle handle it for you alone."

Xu Hui's heart skipped a beat, she stared at him, and asked in a trembling voice, "What... what do you mean?" Ouyang Yiming looked at her, even more flustered, and said, "It's very troublesome." Xu Hui stared straight at him. Ouyang Yiming said, "It's like this, I was just about to tell you." Xu Hui hurriedly interrupted, asking somewhat flusteredly, "T-what did you say?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Didn't you just go to Professor Cheng's? He told me he spoke to the school leaders about me and suggested I stay on as a faculty member, saying it wouldn't be a big problem. So..."

Xu Hui exclaimed in surprise, "Really? That's great!" Ouyang Yiming said, "That's why I was saying that getting connections through your uncle is quite troublesome, having to arrange two things at once, and not even knowing if it will work out. Isn't that putting your uncle in a difficult position? I really hope I can stay on as a faculty member." Xu Hui said, "Yes, staying on as a faculty member would certainly be great. But..." Ouyang Yiming understood her meaning and didn't know what to say. Xu Hui's heart sank, and she said softly, "What am I going to do in the future? Even if you stay here, I can't stay here either." Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "How about this, since there's still some time before graduation, you can let your uncle handle things for you, and we'll talk about me later."

Xu Hui thought for a while and said, "If my uncle can really get things done for both of us, I think you should come to Shanghai with me." Ouyang Yiming said, "It's not that easy." Xu Hui said,

"What if he really can?" Ouyang Yiming felt uneasy and only hoped that one of them would be successful. After thinking for a moment, he said, "I still hope to stay at the university. I really hope I can become a respected professor like Professor Cheng."

Xu Hui looked at him, lowered her head and thought for a while, then looked up with a troubled expression and said, "But we'll be separated in two different places in the future..." Ouyang Yiming felt very agitated. At this moment, he really wanted to tell Liu Yan about his relationship with him. Composing himself, he sighed and said, "It's too early to talk about these things now. My staying at the university and my job in Shanghai are still uncertain; it won't be confirmed until it's settled. Who knows what might happen? Don't tell anyone about my staying at the university or going to Shanghai." Xu Hui nodded and said, "I know." After thinking for a moment, she said, "How about this? My uncle still wants him to continue processing our applications. If only one can be processed, I'll go, and you can stay at the university. If both can be processed, I think we should go to Shanghai together."

Ouyang Yiming didn't know what to say, so he said, "Then let's do it this way. I don't think it'll be easy." Xu Hui said, "We'll try our best. If it really doesn't work out, we'll just have to live separately and try to transfer later." Ouyang Yiming sighed inwardly, thinking sadly, "What am I going to do?"

The two sat down next to Jiang Yuqi and Wu Yingying. Ouyang Yiming was troubled, his face dark and silent, his mind preoccupied with worry about himself and Xu Hui. Thinking back to hearing the news of Professor Cheng's critical illness as soon as he entered the school, and having just returned from his visit, he was now discussing this distressing matter with Xu Hui. What should he and Xu Hui do in the future? Should he really bring up his relationship with Liu Yan during the school term? What would Xu Hui's reaction be then? What if his uncle actually arranged for them to be together?

He thought about how this summer had been filled with so many troubles, his mood hadn't been good at all. First, his grandmother fell down the mountain; then, before she passed away, she kept asking Xu Hui to come home; his grandmother died the night Xu Hui arrived; upon returning to school, he heard the news of Professor Cheng's critical illness; and now Xu Hui was talking about going to Shanghai. Each of these things was enough to cause him great distress.

Now, he also faced the imminent departure of his mentor. And the problems he faced with Xu Hui were so thorny. Now, if he were to talk to Xu Hui about his relationship with Liu Yan again, what if Xu Hui did something? Or even if Xu Hui didn't do anything, just seeing her in pain would be unbearable. All these things weighing on him would cause him to collapse.

If Xu Hui did something else, he might not even have the courage to live, let alone study. What should he do? What should he do? Ouyang Yiming was already overwhelmed by these thoughts.

Suddenly, he remembered the phone call he had with Liu Yan before returning to school. He had called Liu Yan the day before returning to school. That afternoon, he was unusually excited to hear Liu Yan's voice, but he felt something was different from their previous conversations. He sensed a hint of sadness in Liu Yan's tone. Liu Yan said she missed him, that she longed for him, but Ouyang Yiming felt it was more than that. He suspected that Liu Yan had told her parents about their relationship, which had caused their opposition, and this thought made him even more uneasy.

During the phone call, Ouyang Yiming asked her again, "Liu Yan, did you tell your family about us?" Liu Yan paused for a moment on the other end of the line and said, "No, I didn't."

Ouyang Yiming felt a little relieved upon hearing this, but still asked, "I feel like you've been acting a bit strange lately. Is it because your parents object and you don't want to tell me? If that's the case, just tell them, and we can discuss it together. You shouldn't always keep it bottled up inside." Liu Yan paused before saying, "No, nothing like that. Didn't you say you'd wait until you graduated to..." "Should I tell them? I don't want to tell them right now." Ouyang Yiming felt a little relieved and asked, "Did you encounter any other problems?" Liu Yan said, "No, nothing happened. Don't overthink it. I'm just worried about you." Ouyang Yiming relaxed and smiled, saying, "You sounded like something had happened to you just now. Don't scare me like that again, okay?"

Liu Yan said, "I feel like I'm talking normally." Ouyang Yiming said, "I can't tell!" Liu Yan said, "Don't overthink it, nothing's wrong." Yang Yiming said, "That's good. Last time I called, I thought I heard you crying. You said no, were you crying?"

Liu Yan didn't answer immediately, paused for a moment, and said, "I did cry, it's because I missed you." Ouyang Yiming felt a pang of sadness and said, "Don't do that again. Didn't we already say we'd be together after graduation? It makes me feel bad too." Liu Yan said, "I won't do it again." Ouyang Yiming said, "It seems you girls aren't as strong as us men. Even though I missed you, it wasn't to the point of crying."

Liu Yan was silent for a while. After Ouyang Yiming said "Hello" twice, Liu Yan said, "Ouyang, I want to ask you something." Ouyang Yiming said, "What is it?" Liu Yan paused for a moment before saying, "Don't be angry when I tell you." Ouyang Yiming said, "What do you want to say?" Liu Yan said, "You have to tell me the truth, is Xu Hui still the same towards you as before?" Ouyang Yiming's heart sank instantly. He seemed to understand why Liu Yan had cried and why her tone sounded somewhat abnormal. His mind instantly flashed back to Xu Hui's visit to his house and his grandmother's story about giving Xu Hui the heirloom gold bracelets with extraordinary significance. He felt he couldn't face Liu Yan, and his face flushed red. But he knew that no matter how troubled he was by Xu Hui's situation, he couldn't say anything now. If Liu Yan was like this when she thought about his relationship with Xu Hui, what would happen if he told her about it? Wouldn't she break down?

So he forced himself to speak, saying, "It's vacation now. At school, aren't we the same as before? Didn't we agree to talk about us before graduation? Nothing's happened between us now, just like when you were here." But unexpectedly, Liu Yan said, "Ouyang, if Xu Hui is truly in love with you, and you also have feelings for her, if you like her, you... you should... you should..." As she spoke, Liu Yan cried again. This time, Ouyang Yiming heard it clearly. He thought Liu Yan was saying this on purpose, and couldn't help but get anxious, saying, "Aren't you doing this on purpose? You know how much I love you. Aren't you tired of constantly thinking about what she might do with me? It makes me feel even worse. Please stop crying." Liu Yan stopped crying and said, "I'm telling you the truth. If you also have feelings for her, I can't, I can't force you."

Ouyang Yiming was a little angry and said, "How can you be like this! Don't you know how I've treated you? If you really have any feelings for me, just say it. Don't keep saying things like this!" Liu Yan didn't say anything for a while. Ouyang Yiming felt that his words were too harsh, so he said, "Liu Yan, I love you, you know that. Please stop being like this. I really regret letting you leave me so soon." Liu Yan said, "I'm also filled with remorse now. Ouyang, I love you, I'll love you for life!" Ouyang Yiming said, "That's enough! Aren't I the same way?! Okay, listen to me, don't think like this anymore." Liu Yan hummed in agreement. Afterwards, the two exchanged some words of concern and care before hanging up.

Thinking about all this, and recalling what Xu Hui had just told him about work, Ouyang Yiming felt extremely troubled. Watching Xu Hui, Jiang Yuqi, and Wu Yingying chat about their vacation, he wanted to leave quickly and stood up, saying, "I'm going back to the dorm." Xu Hui and Jiang Yuqi assumed it was because of Professor Cheng, but Wu Yingying, noticing Ouyang Yiming's unusual behavior, was puzzled. The three of them also stood up and said they were going back. Xu Hui whispered to Jiang Yuqi, "Keep an eye on Ouyang; he's in a really bad mood right now." Jiang Yuqi nodded in agreement.

After Ouyang Yiming and Jiang Yuqi parted ways with Xu Hui and Wu Yingying... Wu Yingying asked Xu Hui, "I think Ouyang Yiming is in a bad mood. What's wrong with him?" Xu Hui sighed and said, "His grandmother passed away not long ago." Wu Yingying then realized and said, "No wonder he looks so strange. He seems to have something very heavy on his mind." Xu Hui thought to herself, "It's not just because of his grandmother's death. Professor Cheng's critical illness is enough to bother him." She sighed inwardly, "It's really hard on Ouyang Yiming."

Little did Xu Hui know that Ouyang Yiming was not only bothered by these two things, but also by her. Chapter 92 of

Love and Desire (94) : After receiving Ouyang Yiming's calls twice, Liu Yan couldn't help but feel flustered and sad. After hanging up the phone, she would lie on the table and cry for a while. After talking to her mother all night that night, almost two months had passed in the blink of an eye. During this period, Director Qin would often say some words of advice to his daughter, which were roughly the same as what he said that night. Liu Yan also had to consider it. According to Director Qin, you have to face reality. This is better for both you and Ouyang Yiming, especially since Ouyang Yiming already has a very beautiful woman with him. Although Liu Yan was extremely unwilling, her mind started to race. She thought her mother was right. If she married Ouyang Yiming while hiding what happened with Zhang Lei, and Ouyang Yiming found out she had only half-heartedly given in that night, he would never forgive her and would suffer for the rest of his life. The resentment in Ouyang Yiming's heart would also last a lifetime. What happiness could she possibly have living with Ouyang Yiming then? Could their marriage be of any quality? There would be no turning back then. She had already had a relationship with Zhang Lei; if she and Ouyang Yiming couldn't continue their relationship because of this, even if she married someone, people would still have a grudge against her for the rest of her life. Who could she possibly live happily with for the rest of her life? She imagined the gossip and humiliation her parents would feel knowing what she and Zhang Lei had done; she imagined how Ouyang Yiming would react if she married him against his will and found out about their night together. Even if he could forgive her, he would still suffer in silence. Did she want her beloved to live such a painful life? Ouyang Yiming loved her, but this indelible shadow would torment him. Since she loved him, why should she subject him to such suffering? And this pain couldn't be erased; it would stay with him forever. No, she couldn't! She couldn't let the man she loved suffer like this. Nor could she let her parents, who raised her without receiving any gratitude, suffer like this. She didn't care about herself; it was all her fault. But to make her family and the man she loved suffer the same pain was unbearable and unforgivable. Mother is right, men care about this kind of thing the most, and she certainly understands that. But what woman doesn't care too? If he knew about Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui's relationship, wouldn't he hold a grudge for life? Besides, men have always cared more about being cuckolded. So, only marrying Zhang Lei will bring peace. He believes Ouyang Yiming won't and can't bring himself to talk about what he did with her, especially since Xu Hui loves him now. He understands that if he breaks off this relationship with Ouyang Yiming, Ouyang Yiming will definitely fall for Xu Hui. Although he deeply loves Ouyang Yiming, deep down he feels that Ouyang Yiming and Xu Hui are the most suitable couple; they are perfectly matched in appearance and education.

Thinking about all this, her heart ached as if being cut by a knife.

She loved Ouyang Yiming; she couldn't let him go. She even envied Xu Hui for living with him. But everything now was her own fault, all because of Zhang Lei, forcing her into this situation. It all seemed preordained. Was she destined to be with Ouyang Yiming but not to be together? Why did she have to meet him? Why did she fall so deeply in love with him upon meeting him? Was fate playing a cruel joke on her, or did she owe him in a past life, and now she owed him again?

She couldn't understand; she believed it was all destiny.

Just take that trip home—if she hadn't had such a strong desire to return to the hospital, how would she have met Ouyang Yiming after her leave? If Ouyang Yiming hadn't had that illness, why would he be staying in their ward? What did fate mean by this arrangement? Why did they only have less than a year to know and love each other before her and Zhang Lei's affair had to happen? Was she destined to marry Zhang Lei in this life? She had thought she and Ouyang Yiming were fated, that fate had arranged for them to fall in love, but now it seemed like she was being tormented!

She thought carefully about Zhang Lei, trying to see things from the man who had driven her to this desperate situation. She tried to think of his good points.

Zhang Lei was completely incomparable to Ouyang Yiming, but he possessed qualities that Ouyang Yiming lacked. And he had none of the qualities that Ouyang Yiming possessed. She wondered if she could accept Zhang Lei in the future. After much thought, she could only helplessly accept that marrying Zhang Lei and making him her husband wouldn't be a bad thing for her. Although Zhang Lei lacked Ouyang Yiming's scholarly air, his competence was far superior. He wasn't as handsome as Ouyang Yiming, but to a certain extent, Ouyang Yiming lacked Zhang Lei's charisma. She understood that Zhang Lei's charisma was the so-called domineering presence of high-ranking officials' children, but this kind of domineering presence was something that couldn't be learned. He was capable, though much of his ability stemmed from his parents' connections, but he could do things that Ouyang Yiming could never accomplish. Just as her mother said, once she married Zhang Lei, she would have something that Ouyang Yiming and she might not achieve even after a lifetime of struggle.

However, she had never considered these things before; deep down, she didn't care about them. She only wanted a happy life together, loving each other. But reality forced her to have it all, as if it were destiny. Was she truly destined for greatness? Was she meant to be the daughter of a high-ranking official, the daughter-in-law of a high-ranking official? It all seemed predetermined.

Could she accept Zhang Lei? Would she develop feelings for him? Her mother said that spending a lot of time with anyone would develop feelings. She believed that—even colleagues develop feelings after a long time, right?

But could love be the same? Could she fall in love with him? The thought of this instantly shattered her resolve; she could never love Zhang Lei the way she loved Ouyang Yiming.

Absolutely not! There was no doubt about it!

She felt deeply guilty towards Ouyang Yiming, a guilt that tore at her heart. Although Ouyang Yiming liked Xu Hui, and although he knew Xu Hui loved him, he was undeniably devoted to her. She understood that Ouyang Yiming's love for her was no less than her love for him. But why couldn't two people who loved each other be together?! Was it fate, or Zhang Lei's doing?! Whenever she thought about this, she felt an overwhelming hatred for Zhang Lei, a hatred that made her grit her teeth.

A brief moment of clarity would bring a tremor to her heart. Didn't she bear some responsibility? Even though Zhang Lei had forced her, hadn't she only half-heartedly complied? At this point, she would hate herself again,

feeling that everything that had happened was caused by her own indiscretion.

She imagined what would happen if she told Ouyang Yiming about her relationship with Zhang Lei someday. How would he see her? He would surely see her as a promiscuous woman. If he thought of her that way, how could he possibly love her? What man would give his true love to a promiscuous woman? At this moment, she would blush, feel utterly ashamed, and her whole body would turn cold!

Then she would think that what had happened between her and Zhang Lei absolutely could not be told to Ouyang Yiming, she absolutely could not let him think of her as such a promiscuous woman! Even if she couldn't live with him, she deeply loved him, and she couldn't let the person she loved despise her, or let the person who once loved her look down on her. If even Ouyang Yiming looked down on her because of this, she would truly wish she were dead.

Suddenly, she thought that since she loved Ouyang Yiming, she couldn't do anything to betray him. She had already betrayed him, even if only once, by making him a cuckold. This cuckold shouldn't be worn by the person she loved; if anyone should wear it, it should be Zhang Lei. He was the one who deserved it most!

Suddenly, an idea she couldn't accept flashed through her mind, an idea that startled even herself. But afterward, this idea could never be erased from her heart.

She had to see Ouyang Yiming!! She absolutely had to see Ouyang Yiming!!! Zhang

Lei hadn't met with Liu Yan yet, as instructed by Director Qin. He wanted Zhang Lei to see her only after Liu Yan's emotions had stabilized. A few days after Ouyang Yiming's first phone call, Director Qin spoke with Minister Jiang, suggesting that Zhang Lei tentatively approach Liu Yan. Later, after some further thought, Director Qin decided to call Zhang Lei again. This mother was truly going to great lengths for her daughter's marriage!

That day, Zhang Lei arrived at Liu Yan's office. Upon seeing him, Liu Yan was startled, her face flushed, and a surge of anger rose within her. She frowned and asked, "How dare you come here?" Zhang Lei glanced at Liu Yan, avoiding her gaze, fumbled for a cigarette, lit it, and took a drag, asking, "Yanzi, do you really hate me that much?" At that moment, Liu Yan thought of Ouyang Yiming and the helplessness she had felt after these past few days of contemplation, and a bitter feeling welled up inside her. Hearing Zhang Lei's question, she couldn't help but burst into tears.

Zhang Lei glanced up and saw her crying, feeling very uneasy. He said, "Yanzi, I've come here to beg for your forgiveness. I acted impulsively, and I'm sorry, but from the bottom of my heart, I love you and truly want to marry you." Liu Yan didn't speak, burying her face in her hands and weeping. Zhang Lei said, "I've felt really guilty lately, and I've wanted to come and apologize to you again, but I didn't dare." Liu Yan said, "There's no need for that." Zhang Lei stared at

Liu Yan blankly for a while and said, "Yanzi, don't you really have any feelings for me at all?" Liu Yan didn't know what to say at this moment. She had thought too much these past few days, and in her heart, she already believed that she and Zhang Lei were destined to marry, even though she deeply loved Ouyang Yiming. How could she not accept the fact that she and Zhang Lei were together? At this moment, Liu Yan knew that she couldn't say anything too harsh, so she remained silent. Zhang Lei said, "I've never had a chance to tell you, but actually, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You're different from other girls; my feelings for you are truly sincere. I think I will cherish you very much."

Liu Yan's heart trembled upon hearing this. She thought to herself, Zhang Lei's words must be sincere, but she had never felt love for him. "I love Ouyang Yiming. I will only ever love him. Even if I marry you, Zhang Lei, and live with you, can you win my heart?" Then she remembered that all of this was caused by Zhang Lei. It was because of him that she was forced to leave Ouyang Yiming. Do you know how much pain she would feel for the rest of her life? So she looked up at Zhang Lei and coldly asked, "You've met many girls, of course each one is different. I understand."

Zhang Lei's face flushed red. He hadn't expected Liu Yan to say that. After thinking for a long time, he said, "I have met quite a few girls, but I've never cared about you as much as I have."

Liu Yan sneered and said, "I'm afraid all the girls you've met have had the same experience as me." Zhang Lei looked at her in astonishment and hurriedly said, "No, no." He felt very guilty.

Liu Yan stared intently at him and asked, "Do you think I'd believe that?" Zhang Lei panicked, and after a moment of unease, he lowered his head and stammered, "Well, if that's what you think, there's nothing I can do."

Liu Yan stared at him blankly for a while, then asked, "Zhang Lei, I want to ask you a question." Zhang Lei looked up at her and said, "Go ahead." Liu Yan lowered her head to think for a moment, then looked up at him again and asked, "What I want to ask you is, if I marry someone else, will you interfere in my life?" She paused and added, "Will you tell me about what happened that night?"

Zhang Lei's heart sank, and he instantly remembered what Liu Yan's mother had told him.

Two days ago, Liu Yan's mother had called him, telling him that Liu Yan was in a better mood now, and if he really liked Liu Yan, he should try to spend more time with her and say some nice things. She also said that if Liu Yan asked about marrying someone else, he should say that since he loved her, he would do anything for her. At the time, Zhang Lei didn't understand what Liu Yan's mother meant. But after hanging up the phone, he wondered if Liu Yan already had someone she liked. He wanted to ask, but didn't want to ask Liu Yan's mother directly. Hearing Liu Yan's words, he asked, "Liu Yan, have you fallen for someone else?"

Liu Yan was startled. She thought to herself, "I can't tell you about my relationship with Ouyang Yiming right now. I need to hear what he has to say first." She blushed

and said, "Can't you see whether I'm in love or not? I just want to ask you." Zhang Lei said, "Then I'll tell you the truth. All these years, I've only ever liked you. I care about you a lot. If you're with someone else, who knows what I might do?" Liu Yan felt as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over her head; she shivered. A chill ran through her from head to toe. After a moment of stunned silence, a surge of anger rose within her again. She pointed a finger at Zhang Lei, her lips trembling, tears welling in her eyes, and said, "Zhang Lei, would you really be so despicable?"

Zhang Lei's face flushed red, and he forced a smile, saying, "I...I love you. I...I can't let you be with someone else. For love...what wouldn't I do for love?" Liu Yan was so angry her face turned pale, unable to speak. Just now, when she had asked Zhang Lei those questions, she had held onto a great deal of hope. She hoped Zhang Lei would be magnanimous and say what she hoped for, so that she might still be able to live with Ouyang Yiming, and she would still be grateful to Zhang Lei. But after hearing Zhang Lei's words, she was utterly devastated.

At that moment, Liu Yan's resolve to see Ouyang Yiming only strengthened.

Zhang Lei looked at Liu Yan and asked, "Liu Yan, just tell the truth, do you already have someone you like?" Liu Yan glared at him and said, "I don't right now, and I've never loved you." Zhang Lei asked, "Then why are you asking me this?" Liu Yan asked, "Do you want me to be blunt?" Zhang Lei said, "Of course." Liu Yan said, "I can imagine that you've had relationships with many girls. Do you think someone like you can wholeheartedly love your wife? I wouldn't feel secure living with someone like you. Do you understand?"

Zhang Lei blushed and his heart pounded. He thought to himself, "So that's why Liu Yan is somewhat disgusted with me." But when he thought about what he had done with those girls and with Wu Min, he felt guilty and deflated like a balloon, saying, "That...that's just what you imagine." Liu Yan sneered and said, "Can you deny it? If you can do that to me, why can't you do it with others?"

Zhang Lei said, "I like you, don't I?" Liu Yan smiled, a smile that sent a chill down Zhang Lei's spine. Liu Yan stopped laughing instantly, looking at him with disdain and saying, "You like doing this kind of thing with women, don't you!" Although Zhang Lei felt guilty, he genuinely liked Liu Yan. Hearing Liu Yan's words, he felt wronged and said with a bitter face, "Liu Yan, since we met, you can see how I treat you. How can you doubt my sincerity?"

After hearing Zhang Lei's words, Liu Yan recalled the care he had shown her and had to admit that he was indeed attracted to her. However, she had always loved Ouyang Yiming, placing him above all other men. Therefore, she didn't see Zhang Lei's actions as affection; she had only felt gratitude towards him. Liu Yan lowered her

head and remained silent.

Zhang Lei said, "I've never treated any other girl like this. Everything I've done for you is from the bottom of my heart. Honestly, I'd give you my whole heart." As he spoke, his emotions surged, and his eyes reddened. Liu Yan looked up, her heart trembling. Zhang Lei said, "What I'm saying truly comes from the bottom of my heart. I hope you won't doubt my feelings for you."

Liu Yan thought to herself that Zhang Lei's feelings for her were undeniable. Thinking about everything he had done for her since she transferred here, it was clear he had poured his heart into it, and she had always been grateful to him. If that night hadn't happened, even after she and Ouyang Yiming got together, she would have treated him like a brother. She had never felt any aversion towards him before. But how could she so easily transfer her love to someone she loved?

Glancing at Zhang Lei, she thought, "While I'm grateful to you, I've never loved you. Now, the most important thing is that because of you, I'm being forced to separate from Ouyang Yiming. Can the few things you've done for me make up for this pain?"

Seeing her silent for a moment, Zhang Lei realized Liu Yan was also pondering his words. He believed his deep affection could move her heart. So he said, "Yanzi, I don't want to say anything more. I will wait for you, until you accept me. I apologize again for the stupid thing I did that day. If you can't forgive me, if you can't accept me because of this, I'm willing to accept any punishment you give me. I'll say it one last time, if I can't marry you, then I will never get married in my life." He then stood up.

Liu Yan looked up at him after hearing his last words. Zhang Lei said, "I'm leaving, but I will still come to see you often as before." Liu Yan moved her lips but didn't speak, her eyes blankly following Zhang Lei as he walked towards the door.

Love and Desire (95)

Chapter Ninety-Three

After dinner that day, the family sat in the living room watching TV. Director Qin turned to look at his daughter a few times, then leaned over and whispered to Liu Yan, "Yanzi, has Zhang Lei come to see you these days?"

Liu Yan turned to look at her mother, her brows furrowed, and lowered her head, saying, "He came this afternoon." Director Qin looked delighted and whispered to her, "What did he say?" Liu Yan whispered, "He didn't say anything." Director Qin said, "Actually, Zhang Lei is a very good kid. I think you'll gradually accept him." Liu Yan's heart trembled, and she said, "Things have come to this point, what can I do?"

Director Qin asked, "So you've accepted him?"

Liu Yan looked up at her mother but didn't speak. Director Qin was overjoyed. She looked at Liu Yan a few times, then turned to look at her husband sitting on the single sofa and said, "Old Liu, I have something to tell you." Deputy Minister Liu turned his head, and Liu Yan also turned to look at her mother. Director Qin said with a smile, "Old Liu, Zhang Lei, the son of Political Commissar Zhang, proposed to our Yanzi." Deputy Minister Liu was very excited and said, "Really?"

Liu Yan didn't expect her mother to talk to her father about this now, and hurriedly pulled her mother, saying, "Mom, look at you." Director Qin smiled and said, "What's wrong with telling your dad? He'll find out sooner or later." Liu Yan's heart pounded. Vice Minister Liu said, "This is a good thing. Yanzi is at the right age to find someone." Director Qin said, "You'd be most happy if we arranged a marriage between Political Commissar Zhang's family and yours. You're old comrades-in-arms, it'll be a double blessing." Vice Minister Liu laughed twice and said, "Old Zhang is getting a good deal. I raised such a grown girl, and now I'm sending her to his family. What a loss!"

Director Qin smiled, turned to look at Liu Yan who was bowing her head, and then said to her husband, "We've watched Zhang Lei grow up since he was little, so we trust him. We know Political Commissar Zhang and his wife very well, so we're at ease with Yanzi entering their family." Vice Minister Liu laughed and said, "Old Zhang and his wife are impeccable. As long as Yanzi is satisfied, I wholeheartedly approve!" Liu Yan blushed and looked at her mother and father, then said sarcastically, "Mom, look at you." She stood up. Director Qin glanced at her husband, then turned to Liu Yan and said, "You child, are you still shy in front of your father?

He's the leader of this family, he's the one who calls the shots." Liu Yan stood up, turned around, and went upstairs. Vice Minister Liu watched his daughter go upstairs and burst into a hearty, happy laugh.

The reason Director Qin brought up Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's affair with her husband at this time was exactly what Liu Yan wanted—to make things clear, to force Liu Yan to accept reality, and to force her to give up on Ouyang Yiming. Director Qin was excited that her efforts to persuade Liu Yan over the past few days had finally changed her mind. Now, she wanted to strike while the iron was hot and make it a fait accompli. Once the two elders of both families knew and approved of Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's relationship, it would be a done deal, and Liu Yan would have no chance of changing her mind. She knew that Liu Yan wouldn't be able to talk about Ouyang Yiming with her father at this time. She felt from the bottom of her heart that Ouyang Yiming's family was unworthy of her own.

She had been looking for such an opportunity these past few days. After talking to Zhang Lei about Liu Yan the day before yesterday, she had been planning to bring it up with her husband in front of Liu Yan, so that although Liu Yan would be unhappy, she wouldn't be able to say anything. This afternoon, after Zhang Lei returned to his office from Liu Yan's place, he called her. So, tonight, this scheming department head, a mother who believed it was all for her daughter's happiness, deliberately wanted to expose Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's relationship to her husband.

After Liu Yan went upstairs, Department Head Qin smiled at her husband and said, "I've always been worried about Yanzi's marriage. A daughter grows up and leaves home, but now it's all right. We can rest assured leaving her in the care of your old comrade." Deputy Minister Liu nodded. Turning to his wife, he asked, "Was it Liu Yan's own choice?" Director Qin was startled, but quickly replied, "If it wasn't her own choice, who would force your daughter? They've been together for several months. Minister Jiang mentioned it to me recently, saying that Zhang Lei has only ever had eyes for Yanzi. Zhang Lei even told his mother that he wouldn't marry anyone but Yanzi. They're quite destined for each other; if I hadn't taken Yanzi to Political Commissar Zhang's house, Zhang Lei wouldn't have met her. Who knew Zhang Lei would fall for her at first sight? Since then, he's been constantly visiting Yanzi, and the two have become close." Deputy Minister Liu smiled and nodded, saying, "It's good that the children are willing; we shouldn't interfere in their marriage."

Director Qin thought to himself, "I've considered this matter many times. If you had known earlier, who knows what the outcome would have been? Now Liu Yan can't possibly mention Ouyang Yiming to you. If she had, you and your son might have shared the same opinion, and there would have been no room for negotiation." He said, "Who in your Liu family can interfere? They got together on their own, and I don't want to interfere in the child's affairs." Vice Minister Liu nodded and said, "That's good, otherwise the child will blame us later." Director Qin said, "Who doesn't want their child to be happy? We're at ease knowing she and Zhang Lei are doing well." Vice Minister Liu asked, "Does Old Zhang know now?" Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang has known for a long time; I think Political Commissar Zhang couldn't possibly be unaware." Vice Minister Liu nodded and said, "That Zhang idiot, I was in a meeting with him yesterday, how come he never mentioned it?" Director Qin said: “Which of you brought it up first before things were settled?”

Vice Minister Liu chuckled and asked, “Zhang Lei and Jianjun are about the same age, right?” Director Qin said, “He’s a year younger than Jianjun, twenty-eight this year, and five years older than Yanzi. I think it’s just right; he’ll know how to cherish Yanzi when he’s older. Besides, they’re not that much older; I’m nine years younger than you, aren’t I?” Vice Minister Liu glanced at his wife and said, “Back then, things were different from now. It was all arranged by the organization.”

Director Qin laughed and said, “That’s why I’ve regretted it my whole life. With a girl as pretty as me back then, marrying you was a real waste.” Vice Minister Liu laughed a few times. Director Qin said,

“Yanzi and Zhang Lei’s decision was voluntary, unlike mine, which was forced.”

Vice Minister Liu waved his hand and said, “Alright, why bring up those old stories? Zhang Lei is twenty-eight this year. If that’s the case, once these two are settled, they’ll get married soon.” Director Qin said, “Yanzi is also past marriageable age. I think it’s good for them to get married sooner. Are you reluctant to let Yanzi go out?” Vice Minister Liu didn’t say anything. Director Qin said,

"Sooner or later, our daughter will leave; no family can keep her forever. Since they're all together, let the two children live with their respective families from now on. As for when they'll get married, that depends on the children themselves and also on Political Commissar Zhang's family's wishes." Deputy Minister Liu nodded and said, "Let them decide." Director Qin smiled and said, "Just wait to hold your grandson!"

Liu Yan felt a surge of anger. Going upstairs, she thought about it. She understood her mother's intention in bringing this up with her father at this time; it meant that her relationship with Zhang Lei was about to be made public to both families. She knew her mother desperately wanted her to marry Zhang Lei, and she also knew that no matter how much her mother said for her sake, she still didn't approve of Ouyang Yiming's family. But what had happened between her and Zhang Lei meant that there was no point in arguing about the vast difference in their families' social standing. All her previous plans regarding Ouyang Yiming were now useless.

It seemed she had no choice but to accept it, whether she wanted to or not, and she had to marry Zhang Lei. The thought of leaving Ouyang Yiming and spending the rest of her life with Zhang Lei, whom she couldn't love, filled her with a silent fear. A profound sorrow welled up within her, and she sat at the table, tears streaming down her face. Should she accept her fate? Now, she had no choice but to accept it!

Liu Yan had never really communicated with her father since childhood; she always felt he was very authoritative and impossible to confide in. Since the incident with Zhang Lei, she had become even more afraid to discuss her private affairs with her father. This was perhaps Liu Yan's mistake. If she had told her father about her relationship with Ouyang Yiming before that incident with Zhang Lei, he would surely have agreed, and even if her mother objected, she wouldn't have dared to interfere much in front of him. Of course, this also had a lot to do with her father. If he were a father his children could confide in, Liu Yan wouldn't have been afraid to confide in him. Although her father appeared authoritative but was kind-hearted, neither his son nor daughter communicated much with him.

After shedding tears for a while, Liu Yan began to feel restless. She was unwilling to leave Ouyang Yiming! Why did you let us love each other but not let us be together?! God, this is unfair to me and to Ouyang Yiming. What is the reason for this?! Suddenly, the thought of seeing Ouyang Yiming, which had been nagging at her for days, resurfaced in her mind. She could no longer control her own marriage, but she could still do what she wanted to do for Ouyang Yiming. Thinking of this, she felt both excited and panicked. Was she really going to do this?

In an instant, Liu Yan thought, "I should have married Ouyang Yiming in the first place. Wasn't it because of you, Zhang Lei, that we, two people in love, were separated? Didn't you say you would do anything for this? I can do anything for love. This is your retribution, Zhang Lei. There's nothing to feel guilty about. You can only have my body in this life; you can never have my heart. I must see Ouyang Yiming! I must go!!

" Once this decision was made, she began to plan how to do it. After thinking for a while, she had an idea. But when it came to deciding on the specifics, she still felt somewhat guilty. Was she really going to do this? This could be a life-altering decision. After a while, she thought to herself, "I'll just consider it for now and see if it's feasible later."

She wouldn't tell Ouyang Yiming anything about what had happened; everything would wait until she and Zhang Lei were officially together.

After that, Zhang Lei continued to visit Liu Yan's office frequently, just as before. Although Liu Yan often ignored him, Zhang Lei didn't mind. Sometimes he would bring her snacks. Soon, rumors of Zhang Lei and Liu Yan's relationship spread throughout the military compound. Many people said they were a perfect match, specifically that their families were well-matched. Some people even asked Liu Yan directly. Although Liu Yan felt very uncomfortable when asked, she didn't deny it. She couldn't deny it anymore. After

a while, Zhang Lei also frequently visited Liu Yan's home in the evenings and on his days off, sometimes eating there. Although Liu Yan and Zhang Lei rarely spoke, Liu Yan's mother and Zhang Lei had endless things to talk about. Zhang Lei would sometimes chat and play chess with Vice Minister Liu.

Another month or so passed. One day, Minister Jiang came to Director Qin's office and brought up Zhang Lei and Liu Yan's matter. Minister Jiang said, "Xiao Lei is already twenty-eight this year, and his marriage has always been a worry for me. I think since both of them are willing, we should just let them get married soon." Although Director Qin was eager to facilitate Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's marriage, she still felt it was a sudden surprise to hear that they should get married so soon. So she said, "Isn't that too fast? I'm afraid Liu Yan won't agree." Minister Jiang said, "I think Liu Yan's emotions are very stable now, and Zhang Lei is indeed at that age. We don't want any problems to arise later that would cause us more worry. The sooner they get

married, the less trouble we'll have." Director Qin thought about it and agreed. She was indeed afraid that Liu Yan might change her mind. Getting her married to Zhang Lei sooner would also allow her to completely give up on Ouyang Yiming. As long as Liu Yan didn't marry Zhang Lei, Ouyang Yiming would remain a worry for Director Qin. Once Liu Yan and Zhang Lei were married, Liu Yan would no longer have any feelings for Ouyang Yiming. She was worried that Liu Yan wouldn't accept such a hasty decision. So she said to Minister Jiang, "What you said makes sense. I'm just worried about whether Liu Yan will agree." Minister Jiang said, "You'll have to work on Liu Yan." Director Qin nodded and said, "I'll try." Minister Jiang said, "If you can persuade Liu Yan, I think we can get their matter settled by New Year's Day." Director Qin calculated that it was already October, so it would only take less than two months. Would Liu Yan accept such a rushed decision? But she hoped Liu Yan would agree.

After Minister Jiang left, Director Qin began to ponder whether Liu Yan would agree, whether to talk to Liu Yan's father first or try to persuade Liu Yan herself. After thinking for a while, she decided to try persuading Liu Yan first and then talk to her husband.

That evening, after dinner, the whole family was watching TV together. Director Qin whispered to Liu Yan, "Mom wants to talk to you about something." She stood up as she spoke. Liu Yan got up and followed her mother upstairs. She thought to herself, "Mom is definitely going to talk to me about Zhang Lei again." She sat down in Liu Yan's room. Director Qin smiled at his daughter and said, "Yanzi, it seems you and Zhang Lei are getting along quite well lately.

Zhang Lei is a good kid, isn't he?" Liu Yan glanced at her mother but didn't speak. She lowered her head, thinking, "What do I mean by getting along well with him? We've never even gone out alone together. How much have I actually talked to him when he comes to my office or home?" Thinking about how she was maintaining this distant relationship with Zhang Lei, she sometimes felt a pang of sadness and a sense of absurdity. Could this really be a marriage? What happiness could there be in the future? But could she even think about these things now? Reality was what it was.

Director Qin, seeing Liu Yan's silence, guessed that she was still comparing Zhang Lei to Ouyang Yiming. He thought that she couldn't mention Ouyang Yiming now. Once she married Zhang Lei, she would naturally forget Ouyang Yiming. With time, how could she not have feelings for Zhang Lei? Once they had a child, the matter of Ouyang Yiming would vanish. She wondered how Liu Yan would react if she told her about her marriage to Zhang Lei. Would she agree? Would rushing things and backfire? She hesitated again. But after a moment, she made up her mind and said, "Yanzi, Minister Jiang came to my office this afternoon." Liu Yan looked up at her. Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang means that Zhang Lei is not young anymore and wants to get you and Zhang Lei married as soon as possible."

Liu Yan trembled upon hearing this, stunned for a moment, staring blankly at her mother without speaking. Seeing Liu Yan's expression, Director Qin knew she was also having trouble accepting it, so she said, "Of course, it depends on your opinion. I also said this afternoon that it's a bit too hasty." Liu Yan felt a pang of sorrow. Looking at her mother, tears welled up in her eyes, and she asked in a trembling voice, "Mom, do you really want me to leave this house so soon?" As she spoke, tears streamed down her sorrowful face.

Director Qin felt a pang of sadness, and tears also welled up in her eyes. With a sigh, she said, "Yanzi, tell me the truth, are you still thinking about that Ouyang? Do you really not want to marry Zhang Lei?"

Liu Yan hesitated for a moment before replying, "Mom, what's the use of saying all this now? Even if I still think about Yiming, what can I do? Who in the military compound doesn't know about my relationship with Zhang Lei? Even if I disregard everything and still want to marry Yiming, can that cover up my relationship

with Zhang Lei? I can't hurt Yiming like that. I can't bear to see Yiming suffer for the rest of his life." She then began to sob. Director Qin paused for a moment, then said, "Yanzi, I understand your feelings, but all of this is also closely related to you. You and that Ouyang are not destined to be husband and wife." Hearing her mother's words, Liu Yan stopped crying, but a wave of helpless resentment washed over her. After thinking for a moment, Liu Yan looked up at her mother and said, "Mom, don't say anything more. When does Zhang Lei's family want to get married?" Director Qin said, "Their family wants to get married this New Year's Day. Of course, it depends on you..." Liu Yan looked at her mother and said, "I agree. You can tell them anytime."

Director Qin looked at her daughter, an unnatural smile appearing on her face. At that moment, she even felt guilty and dared not meet her daughter's eyes. In an instant, she thought, "I'm doing all this for your happiness, so that you can have a good life." But she also knew that Liu Yan must be feeling bad right now. So she said, "Yanzi, don't be stubborn. No one forced you to do this. If you really don't want to get married so early, then wait a while." Liu Yan said, "What's the point of waiting? I'll marry him sooner or later. Right now, I just feel sorry, sorry to Ouyang." She

cried again as she spoke. In her heart, she was thinking about the idea of seeing Ouyang Yiming, which she had thought about countless times these past few days.

Director Qin sighed and said, "I understand how you feel. I also feel this is unfair to Ouyang, but now..." Liu Yan had already made up her mind: she absolutely had to see Ouyang Yiming. Once she made up her mind, she felt much more at ease. Looking up at her mother, she said, "Don't say anything more. Go back to Zhang Lei's house tomorrow and tell him I have no objections, it's fine anytime. I even agree to go with Zhang Lei to get the marriage certificate tomorrow."

Hearing Liu Yan's words, Director Qin knew that Liu Yan was unwilling, but he was secretly overjoyed. He thought to himself, once they got the marriage certificate, it would be no different from being married. It would be best if they could get the marriage certificate soon. But he said, "Yanzi, you should think about it some more." Liu Yan thought to herself, what is there to think about? What is there to think about? My own mind has been made up, something none of you could have predicted. She said, "Don't think about it anymore. It's all the same whether it's sooner or later. Just go back to their house and talk to them." Director Qin said, "If that's really what you're thinking, then I'll tell Minister Jiang tomorrow." Liu Yan nodded.

After Director Qin finished speaking, she was about to stand up and go downstairs to tell her husband about it when Liu Yan called out to her, "Mom, I have something else to tell you." Director Qin looked at Liu Yan and sat back down in her chair.

Liu Yan said, "I've been with Yiming for so long, and now I'm marrying Zhang Lei. I should at least give him an explanation!" Director Qin said, "That's only right. Write him a letter and explain things clearly. I think the boy will understand." Liu Yan said, "What can I explain? Can I tell Ouyang that I broke up with him because I had a relationship with Zhang Lei? What will Ouyang think of me then?"

Director Qin said, "Of course you can't say that. So what do you plan to say?" Liu Yan said, "I want to go to see him before the wedding."

Director Qin was taken aback and stared at Liu Yan, asking, "You...you're going to see him?" Liu Yan said, "I can only explain things to him in person. Otherwise, given his personality, he might come looking for me here after receiving my letter." Liu Yan had thought about these words many times before; she thought only in this way would her mother agree. Sure enough, Director Qin said, "We can't let him come here. Zhang Lei doesn't know about your relationship with Ouyang. If he comes, what will he do to you..." Liu Yan said, "That's all I can think of, so I want to talk to him in person."

Director Qin thought for a moment and said, "But I feel it's not appropriate for you to go see him." Liu Yan said, "What's inappropriate? Zhang Lei and I got our marriage certificate before we got married. I wouldn't run off with Ouyang, would I?" Director Qin said, "I'm not worried about that. I believe you and Ouyang will both be very rational. Even if you write to Ouyang, I don't think he'll actually come."

Liu Yan said, "I know Ouyang. He cares about me a lot. I think if he finds out about my marriage to Zhang Lei, he might do something irrational. Didn't you say that young people sometimes do unexpected things?"

Director Qin looked embarrassed and nodded, saying, "That's true." Liu Yan said, "What I meant was to talk to Ouyang slowly when I met him. Isn't there a very pretty girl who likes him now? I want to try to persuade him. I've already wronged her, and I can't let her suffer for me for the rest of her life." Director Qin thought this made sense and nodded again.

Liu Yan said, "Everything needs to be resolved. As for what I should say to him, I've thought about it. Right now, I can only say that my family doesn't agree, and you don't want to bring him here after he graduates. It's not good for us to live apart in different places. What else can I say?" Director Qin said, "You're right to think that way. But..." Liu Yan said, "Are you worried that Ouyang will treat me badly after I go?" Director Qin said, "No, I'm just worried that after you meet him, he might... he might do..."

Liu Yan knew in her heart that she hadn't said the last part, but now she said, "I understand what you mean. Don't worry about these things. I have my own ideas." In her mind, no matter what you say, no one can change my mind. Director Qin said, "It's good that you're smart. Once you're sure you'll marry Zhang Lei, you absolutely cannot have that kind of relationship with Ouyang again." Liu Yan said, "I know."

Director Qin thought for a moment, still worried. He secretly thought that Liu Yan had had a relationship with Ouyang before, and this time she would definitely have to go. But not letting Liu Yan go was definitely not an option.

As long as Liu Yan could handle her relationship with Ouyang well, there wouldn't be any problems after she married Zhang Lei and they lived apart. So he asked, "When do you plan to go?"

Liu Yan said, "I'll talk about it before the wedding. I think I'll tell Zhang Lei that I'm going to my aunt's house, and also go to the hospital to talk to my comrades. I think he'll agree." Director Qin said,

"Okay, that's settled then. Don't mention this to Zhang Lei now. We'll talk about it before you go."

Liu Yan thought to herself, "That's exactly what I was thinking." She nodded without saying anything. Director Qin stood up and said, "Then I'll go downstairs and talk to your father about your marriage to Zhang Lei." Liu Yan nodded again without saying a word.

After Director Qin went downstairs, Liu Yan sat there blankly for a while, feeling another wave of sadness. She turned and lay down on the bed, crying.

Director Qin went downstairs and sat next to her husband. She glanced at the TV and turned to ask him, "Old Liu, what do you think of Zhang Lei?" Deputy Minister Liu said, "Not bad." Director Qin smiled and said, "As long as your father-in-law is satisfied, that's fine." Deputy Minister Liu glanced at her and said, "What father-in-law?" He paused and said, "My satisfaction is useless. The key is that Yanzi is satisfied. I'm not going to live with him anyway." Director Qin smiled and said, "Of course Yanzi is satisfied. I was just talking to her about this upstairs. It's like this, Minister Jiang came to my office this afternoon. She said that Zhang Lei is not young anymore, and they want to hold the wedding for Yanzi and Zhang Lei this year. What do you think..." Before Director Qin could finish, Deputy Minister Liu turned and glared at his wife, saying:

"It's only been a few days?

Why the rush!" Director Qin said, "I told Minister Jiang the same thing this afternoon, and I was worried Yanzi wouldn't agree. But then I thought, Zhang Lei is indeed of marriageable age, and since the two young people have no objections, they'll get married sooner or later." Deputy Minister Liu asked, "Did Yanzi agree?" Director Qin said, "I just talked to her about it, and she had no objections." Deputy Minister Liu gazed ahead, deep in thought. Director Qin said, "We should understand the feelings of Political Commissar Zhang and his wife. Their child is so grown up, and they are quite satisfied with Yanzi. Do you think they wouldn't want to hold their grandchildren soon? I also want to hold a grandchild. We haven't held Jianjun's child many times. When people get old, they want to hold their grandchildren." Vice Minister Liu said, "As long as Yanzi is willing, they can decide." Director Qin said, "That's for sure. We can't make such a decision. In terms of Yanzi's age, it's not too late to wait a few more years. The key is Zhang Lei's side." Vice Minister Liu said, "Okay, as long as Yanzi and Zhang Lei are willing. They are not children anymore. When exactly did Minister Jiang say?" Director Qin said, "She means New Year's Day this year." Vice Minister Liu said, "Oh," and said,

"That will be soon." Director Qin said, "I also think it's a bit soon. But I just asked Yanzi, and she has no objections. You see..." Vice Minister Liu said, "Yanzi has agreed, what can I say? Let's do it this way."

Director Qin was secretly pleased. She didn't expect that persuading these two tonight would go so smoothly. He said, "In that case, I'll relay your message to Minister Jiang tomorrow." Vice Minister Liu nodded without saying anything.

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