Love and Desire in the Sea [Complete] - 12

Chapter 80 of Love and Desire (82):
After Zhang Lei opened the door and left, Wu Min suddenly became nervous. She knew that she had to complete the next procedure for Zhang Lei, and she had to do it in a way that would leave Liu Yan without any suspicion.

Her biggest worry was that Liu Yan would be angry when she saw those scenes. If that were the case, she could make excuses, but she was afraid that she would not be able to complete Zhang Lei's carefully planned operation, and then Zhang Lei would definitely blame her.

She thought to herself that she and Liu Yan were both women, and she felt novelty and excitement when she saw those scenes, so Liu Yan could not possibly not be interested. However, since she had to do this herself and watch it with Liu Yan, she was worried that Liu Yan might feel embarrassed in front of her, and might even walk away.

Wu Min secretly glanced at Liu Yan a few times with trepidation. Seeing that Liu Yan's face was red and she was still drunk, she thought to herself that perhaps Liu Yan would be more interested while she was drunk. They were both women, and although they didn't talk about such topics when they were together, they couldn't help but think about these private matters between men and women. At that moment, she firmly believed that Liu Yan, like all women, would feel desire and curiosity.

Wu Min said, "Director Liu, in my opinion, if we really open such a video arcade, there will probably be more people than moviegoers, which will inevitably increase the club's workload." Liu Yan pondered for a moment and said, "That's not a problem. We can apply for two more soldiers. I'm just worried that such films might generate some negative comments among the officers and soldiers. We should report to the higher-ups first and then solicit opinions from various departments. It's better to be cautious about this kind of film." Wu Min said, "You're absolutely right. It's better to solicit opinions first to avoid any issues later." Liu Yan said, "Of course I understand Assistant Zhang's good intentions. Our club is meant to serve the leisure and entertainment of officers and soldiers, so adding more activities will certainly be welcomed by many people. I'm also worried about how some older officers will view this kind of film. If they really don't like it, then it's really a thankless task." Wu Min nodded and said, "Yes, you've thought it through very well."

Wu Min didn't want to discuss such issues with Liu Yan. She would be leaving the club in a few days, so there was no need to worry about these things, but on the surface, she still had to appear very concerned.

Thinking about Zhang Lei's instructions, she felt flustered. She stood up and squatted down in front of the VCR, looking at the flashing red and green lights on the screen. "Technology is getting more and more advanced these days," she said. "I'm wondering if people will go to the movies if they all watch these things." Liu Yan laughed and said, "I don't think it will get to the point where nobody watches movies in the next few years. How many people can afford something so expensive?" Wu Min said, "That's true. Only Assistant Zhang can afford something like this."

As she spoke, she reached for the tapes on the VCR and pretended to look at them casually. She saw the tape Zhang Lei had mentioned, picked it up, turned around, and held it out to Liu Yan, saying with a surprised look, "Director Liu, look at this one." Liu Yan took it and saw a label that read "Internal Film." She was also very surprised. She had heard of internal films before, but she didn't know the specific content. Muttering to herself, "An internal film. What kind of film is this?" Wu Min said, "I heard it's only for the leaders to watch, who knows what it is." Liu Yan was a little excited and said, "Let's watch it."

Wu Min responded, reaching out to take the tape Liu Yan handed her, her hand trembling slightly. At that moment, she was extremely flustered, but she knew she should try her best to control herself.

She asked Liu Yan, "Won't we make a mistake watching such an internal film?" Liu Yan laughed and said, "If Zhang Lei can watch it, why can't we? It's just the two of us now, so let's not tell anyone." Wu Min nodded.

After squatting down, Wu Min turned off the martial arts film that was playing, ejected the tape, inserted the videotape in her hand, and sat down next to Liu Yan. The television screen flickered a few times, then showed a group of foreign men and women dancing. Liu Yan laughed and said, "So this internal film is just for watching these foreigners dance?" Wu Min said, "Yes, I thought it was top-secret material for some high-ranking officials." Liu Yan said, "Zhang Lei likes to dance, maybe he's using it to learn." Her words were barely out of her mouth when her mouth froze. The image on the television screen flickered a few times, instantly showing a scene of a foreign couple having sex naked.

Liu Yan froze for a moment, her heart seemingly stopping. Wu Min cried out and hugged Liu Yan, saying, "How...how could this be..." Liu Yan didn't speak, but her eyes were fixed on the screen. Wu Min secretly watched Liu Yan, seeing her chest heaving violently, and secretly rejoiced. Her eyes then turned to the screen. After a while, Wu Min said, "These foreigners are really bold." Liu Yan seemed to sober up a bit and said in a trembling voice, "Turn it off." Wu Min was taken aback but didn't get up, saying softly, "Look, there's no one else here." Liu Yan stopped talking, her eyes never leaving the screen.

For a while, these two women, who both thought the other had never experienced sex but had actually had sex many times, watched the scene of passionate lovemaking on TV with their hearts pounding. Wu Min said, "Is doing this really that comfortable? Look at them."

Liu Yan thought of Ouyang Yiming and thought to herself, although it wasn't as exaggerated as on TV, the indescribable comfort was hard to describe. At this moment, she felt as if some fluid had started flowing from her lower body. Then she heard Wu Min say, "No, I'm already soaking wet, I'm going to change the toilet paper." Liu Yan hummed in agreement. As Wu Min got up, Liu said, "Where are you going to change?

Don't change in his bathroom." Wu Min said, "I didn't bring any toilet paper. I'll go outside and buy some to change in the public restroom." Liu Yan nodded and said, "Come back quickly." Wu Min responded and went out the door.

Liu Yan had felt a little uncomfortable when Wu Min was around, but now, alone watching such an exciting scene, she quickly lost control. She felt an uncontrollable desire surging through her body, and this unspoken, extreme excitement made her involuntarily raise her hand to touch her chest. After a while,

she couldn't help but touch her genitals. At this moment, under the influence of the scene and alcohol, her thoughts had become muddled. She felt as if countless ants were swarming all over her body.

Wu Min practically ran out of the gate. In fact, Zhang Lei hadn't even left the residential compound. He was sitting anxiously in his car by the roadside, waiting for news of Wu Min.

When he saw Wu Min rushing over, he quickly got out of the car. Wu Min said慌张地, "She's watching." Zhang Lei's heart pounded as he asked, "What's her reaction?" Wu Min said, "Just like we thought."

Zhang Lei nodded and was about to get into the car when Wu Min called out to him, "I... I'm worried something might happen." Zhang Lei said impatiently, "Go out now. Come back later." Wu Min nodded, her heart pounding, and walked away.

Zhang Lei shakily drove the car to the entrance to his yard and stopped. He walked to the gate, his hands trembling, took out his key, and gently opened the gate. He tiptoed upstairs silently, listened intently at his bedroom door, and then faintly heard moaning sounds from the video inside. He knew Liu Yan was watching. At this moment, his lower body was already erect. He steadied himself, took a deep breath, and pushed open the bedroom door. He saw Liu Yan lying crookedly on the bed, one hand touching her crotch.

Zhang Lei's sudden appearance terrified Liu Yan. She screamed "Ah!" and froze for a moment, like a statue, staring at Zhang Lei with horrified eyes and her mouth agape. Zhang Lei stared at her for two seconds, then suddenly pounced on her and pinned her down.

Liu Yan seemed stunned, staring blankly at Zhang Lei on top of her, speechless. Zhang Lei quickly pulled down his lower garment, his penis springing to life. He then frantically lifted Liu Yan's skirt, pulled down her panties, and his already eager member smoothly entered her wet body. Liu Yan understood what was happening, but was powerless to push away the man on top of her. This surge of desire had made her lose control. Though she cried out, "No, you, you get up, you, get up..." she felt a shocking satisfaction from Zhang Lei's penetration. With each rapid thrust, Liu Yan's body contracted, and that long-awaited orgasm arrived. At that moment, she involuntarily clung tightly to Zhang Lei's waist. In this excitement, Zhang Lei withdrew his member and ejaculated onto Liu Yan's lower abdomen.

Liu Yan shuddered. She shoved Zhang Lei, who was panting heavily on top of her, and sat up abruptly. She quickly pulled up her trousers, which were hanging at her ankles, and looked at Zhang Lei, who was smiling in front of her. A surge of anger rose within her. She raised her right hand and slapped Zhang Lei hard across the face. Zhang Lei raised his hand to cover his slapped face, staring blankly at Liu Yan. The smile on his face slowly faded. Liu Yan cursed fiercely, "Beast! Despicable man!!"

Zhang Lei dared not look her in the eye again. He bent down to pull up his pants, and as he was fastening his belt, he glanced at Liu Yan and saw two lines of tears streaming down her face. He timidly said, "Just now, you...you didn't...you also..." Liu Yan said sharply, "Take me home." Zhang Lei hugged her tightly and said, "Yanzi, I...I like you, I love you, I want...I want to marry you..." Liu Yan pushed him away abruptly, her face expressionless and calm, and said, "Take me home." Zhang Lei said, "Yanzi, I truly like you, I love you, I..." Liu Yan's voice was low, but it possessed immense power. She said fiercely, "Take me home!" After saying that, she turned around and walked over to open the door.

Zhang Lei hurriedly followed, saying, "Liu Yan, I...can we talk?" Liu Yan didn't speak, tears streaming down her face. Zhang Lei said, "Can't we talk?" Liu Yan quickly went downstairs.

Zhang Lei said, "Wait a minute, Wu Min. Where did Wu Min go? Let's wait for her to come back." Liu Yan suddenly remembered Wu Min, but she seemed to forget about Wu Min at this moment, and still said, "Take me home!" Zhang Lei said, "If we go like this, won't Wu Min be suspicious when she comes back?" Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat, and she stopped in the living room. Zhang Lei said, "Yanzi, to be honest, I've liked you for a long time.

I truly love you, and I want you to be my wife."

Liu Yan looked at him with tears in her eyes, and spat out three words through gritted teeth: "Don't even think about it!" Zhang Lei paused, an unnatural smile appearing on his face, and coughed dryly without saying anything more. At this moment, Wu Min pushed open the door and walked in. Zhang Lei deliberately whispered, "Wipe your tears, don't let Wu Min see. I'm going upstairs to turn off the video camera." He turned and went upstairs.

Wu Min entered the room. Looking up at Zhang Lei going upstairs, Wu Min leaned closer to Liu Yan and whispered, "He didn't see it, did he?" Liu Yan shook her head and said, "No. I closed it after you left." Wu Min said nervously, "Then, that's good." Liu Yan frowned and looked at her, asking, "Why did you take so long?" Wu Min composed herself and said, "I bought some paper, changed it, and came right away." Liu Yan looked at the bag in her hand but didn't say anything. Wu Min asked, "Going back now?" Liu Yan said, "I'm a little dizzy. I want to go back and rest." Wu Min said, "Me too. I drank too much."

Zhang Lei came downstairs, and the three of them went out the door, walked to the car, and got in. No one spoke a word the whole way. Liu Yan closed her eyes and lay on the seat, her heart trembling and wanting to cry. Wu Min was filled with fear and anxiety, glancing at Liu Yan and then at Zhang Lei from time to time, wondering if Zhang Lei had succeeded. Zhang Lei, on the other hand, was quite calm at this moment. From Liu Yan's expression, he felt that controlling her was no problem.

After the first time, it wouldn't be difficult to do it many more times. He firmly believed that after this one time, he would conquer Liu Yan and make her his wife.

Zhang Lei parked the car in front of Liu Yan's house. Liu Yan got out without a word, walked straight to the door without turning her head, and rang the doorbell. Zhang Lei and Wu Min stared at her back for a few moments. They started the car, drove a short distance, turned around, and came back. They both looked at the gate at the same time and saw that Liu Yan's door was closed, knowing that she had gone inside. Zhang Lei stepped on the gas and sped away.

Wu Min, unable to contain her wildly beating heart, leaned on the back of the passenger seat and looked at Zhang Lei, asking, "You and her, are you already...?" Zhang Lei nodded. Wu Min's heart leaped into her throat. "She seems off," she asked, "is she really angry?" Zhang Lei smiled and said, "It's nothing." Wu Min exclaimed in surprise, "You absolutely can't tell her I was involved in this!" Zhang Lei turned to look at her and said,
"Am I stupid?" Wu Min said, "Even after you get married, you can't tell her." Zhang Lei said, "Do you think I need to teach you this? Don't I know what I'm doing?" Wu Min was terrified. Her voice trembled as she said, "After this incident with her, I think you two will definitely be together. What am I to her? If she finds out about our past relationship and how I helped you set this trap, she'll hate me and make things very difficult for me. I'm so worried, so scared." Zhang Lei seemed a little impatient and said,

"Don't worry, no matter what, even after we get married, we'll never let her know anything."

Wu Min was truly terrified. Tears welled in her eyes, but she remained silent. She knew in her heart that regardless of whether Liu Yan and Zhang Lei would get married in the future, this incident was enough to make Liu Yan hate her to death. Given Liu Yan's family status, destroying her would be as easy as an elephant crushing an ant.

Zhang Lei turned to look at her again and said, "Anyway, you're leaving in a few days. You must remain calm these next few days and not let her see any flaws. I believe that although she may have suspicions, she won't directly ask you anything. She won't speak about this without evidence." Wu Min nodded and said, "That's true. When I came into your house just now, I asked her why she was in such a hurry to leave, and she said she was dizzy. I asked her if you saw her watching that video, and she said I turned it off as soon as I left, and you didn't see it." Zhang Lei smiled and said, "See? She's afraid people will find out. Just keep it to yourself. You must remain calm these next few days." After thinking for a moment, he added, "You can relax..." "No matter what, even if I can't marry her, don't tell anyone about this." Wu Min said, "How could I dare say anything? This matter will remain buried in my heart, and no one will ever know." Zhang Lei

didn't speak, and after a moment of silence, Wu Min said, "I think that after you two have had this, she will definitely marry you. She will definitely care about her chastity." Zhang Lei recalled Liu Yan's angry expression and the scene of her slapping him earlier, and sighed softly, saying, "How can we say for sure? I hope so." After thinking for a moment, he suddenly said, "After we finished just now, she quickly got up and pulled up her pants, and I didn't see if she bled. I didn't seem to feel any resistance." "She went in smoothly, and I didn't see her in any pain."

Wu Min thought of herself and said, "Are you really that concerned about virginity? I've read some information; many people don't have it, which is normal. In my opinion, Liu Yan would never have done that kind of thing. I believe that even if anyone did, she wouldn't." Zhang Lei asked, "Why?" Wu Min said, "Can't you see her true nature? She didn't even care about you, so who else would she care about? The information says that the hymen varies in thickness; some people don't feel it the first time, and some bleed very little. Besides, how could she bear watching such a long video? Even if it hurt a little, she wouldn't feel it." Zhang Lei nodded and said, " "Your analysis makes sense. I don't believe she's had sex with anyone either, just as I believe you haven't."

Wu Min said, "Women are sometimes wronged. I've been thinking, why do women need a hymen? Who knows when it will break from childhood to adulthood? It makes men suspicious. You men can have sex countless times without any marks. It seems a bit unfair."

Zhang Lei didn't want to talk about this with her and said, "Let's not talk about it. You must stay calm these next few days. No matter what she asks, just pretend you don't know." Wu Min felt flustered and nodded, "I know."

That night, Zhang Lei went back and carefully examined the place where he and Liu Yan had sex, but found no trace. He also carefully examined his genitals under the light and found no trace of blood. Although he had some doubts, he still believed that this was Liu Yan's first time.

After her mother opened the door for her, Liu Yan suddenly seemed unable to control herself, and tears streamed down her face. Fortunately, her mother was busy closing the door and didn't notice. Liu Yan went straight into her room, composed herself, and quietly wiped away her tears. Director Qin entered the room and, seeing Liu Yan's flushed face, asked, "Did you drink quite a bit?" Liu Yan nodded. Director Qin said strangely, "Why would a girl drink so much?" Liu Yan felt a pang of sadness and wanted to cry again, so she quickly avoided her mother's eyes, went to the table, poured herself a glass of cold water, and asked, "Hasn't Dad come back yet?" Director Qin sat down on the sofa, watching TV, and said, "Your dad went to a meeting at the General Logistics Department this afternoon."

Liu Yan finished the glass of water in one gulp. Director Qin asked, "You didn't explain clearly on the phone. Who invited you to dinner?" Liu Yan replied, "One of the class leaders from our club is about to go to the training team for training."

Director Qin asked, "Then how did Zhang Lei get involved?" Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat when she heard Zhang Lei's name. She said, "Didn't he help someone? I felt a little dizzy, so I went upstairs to sleep." Director Qin looked at her and said, "Go to sleep. Look at you, you can't drink, yet you drank so much. You can't drink so much next time." Liu Yan said, "There won't be a next time." Director Qin looked at her suspiciously, and Liu Yan quickly went upstairs. Director Qin watched her back and said, "Take a shower before you sleep." Liu Yan didn't say anything.

Once in her room, Liu Yan could no longer control her emotions. She threw herself onto the bed, grabbed the blanket, covered her head, and burst into tears. She called out Ouyang Yiming's name repeatedly in her heart, silently saying, "Yiming, I'm so sorry, so sorry, I did something wrong..." After a while, she slowly stopped crying, only then realizing that her underwear was damp on her lower abdomen. Touching it, she felt it was slippery and startled, quickly getting up and taking off the red underwear. She folded it and wiped her lower abdomen repeatedly. A surge of anger rose within her; she threw the underwear hard on the floor, stomping on it with both feet, constantly cursing Zhang Lei as a beast. After a while, her anger subsided somewhat, and she kicked the underwear under the bed. She plopped down on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought. Her mind was a mess, and she didn't know what she was thinking. After a while, she stood up, went to the closet, grabbed a pair of underwear and a bra, and went downstairs.

Liu Yan turned on the shower, washing herself while tears streamed down her face. She repeatedly lathered her body with soap, scrubbing vigorously. She repeatedly washed the areas where Zhang Lei had left his filth on her. She kept spraying the showerhead on her lower body... as if only in this way could she wash away Zhang Lei's filth left on her.

When she came out, she saw that her mother had already turned off the TV and gone to sleep. Liu Yan went into her room and sat blankly on the edge of the bed, unable to hold back her tears. Suddenly, she thought of taking out Ouyang Yiming's photo to look at it. She squatted down to pull the suitcase out from under the bed, but hesitated. She thought to herself, how could she still face Ouyang Yiming? She hurriedly pushed the suitcase under the bed, her heart suddenly filled with panic, as if Ouyang Yiming already knew about her shameful deeds. Large tears fell instantly again, and a surge of sorrow rose up once more. She lay on the bed and cried for a while. In her heart, she kept saying: Ouyang, please forgive me, forgive me this time, please forgive me this time... Suddenly, she realized that Ouyang Yiming must never know about this. She thought that if Ouyang Yiming knew, he would definitely despise her, and she would definitely lose him because of it. At this moment, she felt an overwhelming panic. Her heart pounded wildly, and she involuntarily stammered, "Ouyang, I didn't mean it. I didn't want to. He raped me." The thought of rape sent another shiver down her spine, and the scene of Zhang Lei penetrating her flashed through her mind. A chill ran down her spine. Hadn't she felt extreme pleasure then? Hadn't shen't struggled much? Hadn't she been yearning, willing, deep down? A wave of guilt and shame washed over her; her face flushed, and a chill ran through her body.

"How could I have acted like that? If I had resisted even slightly, he wouldn't have been able to penetrate me," she thought to herself. Then she remembered watching the video.

A question suddenly dawned on her, making her tremble: Was all of this deliberately arranged by Zhang Lei? Did he want to exploit her inability to control herself after watching that video to achieve his own ends? So, if that's the case, then Wu Min is his accomplice; the two of them conspired to lure her into this trap.

Thinking this, she felt a chill run down her spine. She stood up abruptly, muttering, "Could it really be like that?" Thinking of Wu Min, she thought it impossible. She had treated her well; there was no reason for her to treat her like this. If she hadn't pressed Zhang Lei about Wu Min's matter, Zhang Lei wouldn't have been so eager to process Wu Min's promotion. Wu Min should be grateful to her; she wouldn't have conspired with Zhang Lei to repay her like this. Suddenly, she wondered if Wu Min and Zhang Lei had already had this improper relationship. If so, they might have been in cahoots. She immediately shook her head, thinking, "No, that's impossible." Wu Min's expression and behavior showed no sign of such a thing.

She sat weakly on the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling dizzy, so she lay down and pulled the blanket over herself. After resting with her eyes closed for a while, her mind started racing again. She carefully recalled the events from the afternoon until lunchtime; Zhang Lei mentioning the video camera; Zhang Lei suddenly saying he was going to his brother's house; Wu Min taking out the yellow tape, watching it for a while, then saying she needed to exchange the paper; Zhang Lei returning without her hearing a sound; Wu Min returning after Zhang Lei finished venting. "Could all of this be a coincidence?" she wondered to herself. A sudden shock struck her – this wasn't a coincidence, it was clearly a meticulously planned conspiracy!

But then she thought, it doesn't make sense. Even if Zhang Lei liked her, he wouldn't need to use such despicable methods. He could have expressed it through normal courtship. If he and Wu Min had that kind of relationship, and he didn't care about forcing himself on her, Wu Min wouldn't be so shameless as to cooperate with Zhang Lei in this scheme. Besides, many beautiful women pursued Zhang Lei. Even if Zhang Lei genuinely liked her, he wouldn't need to use such ignorant methods to get her. Given her family background, even if Zhang Lei was stupid, he should have realized she wouldn't succumb to such methods. Even if Zhang Lei wanted to release his sexual desires, he had plenty of women willing to cooperate.

People are often like this; after something happens, they always overcomplicate things, unaware that the truth is actually quite simple. Zhang Lei's decision to do what he did to Liu Yan wasn't a spur-of-the-moment impulse, but his only thought was to get her body and make her submit, thereby achieving his goal of marriage. His idea was actually that simple; he only came up with this idea when he sensed that Liu Yan had no interest in him. Liu Yan, however, complicated things.

Since her sexual encounter with Ouyang Yiming, she couldn't help but think about having sex with him during her time back in the city. Every night, lying in bed thinking about it, she couldn't control herself, secretly calling out Ouyang Yiming's name in bed, touching her breasts and genitals, recalling the scenes of having sex with him, and masturbating many times. But she never thought of anyone else; during each masturbation, her mind was solely focused on Ouyang Yiming. Deep down, only Ouyang Yiming was worthy of doing such things with her. She looked down on anyone else besides Ouyang Yiming. Even though she sometimes struggled with her own instincts, her heart belonged only to Ouyang Yiming.

That night, Liu Yan pondered repeatedly for a long time without reaching a conclusion. One moment she believed it was Zhang Lei and Wu Min who planned it; the next she thought it was just a coincidence. She barely slept a wink, tormented by these thoughts. As dawn approached, she suddenly realized that she had indeed had a relationship with Zhang Lei, and that this once would inevitably lead him to consider doing it again.

Thinking of this, her heart trembled, and she resolutely vowed to herself, "I will never let him have a second chance." But then she wondered what if Zhang Lei used this to blackmail her? The thought made her panic. But she quickly thought that Zhang Lei wouldn't stoop to such a despicable act.

Then she thought, even if it was him who planned it, wouldn't that be despicable enough? Regardless of whether it was true or not, she couldn't let herself be defeated by him and be used against her. Even if he said it, she couldn't let it out. Later, when Ouyang Yiming came to work here, if he heard about this, it would affect their relationship. After that, she began to think of countermeasures. Finally, he made up his mind that, whether it was a coincidence or a plan, he had to strike first against Zhang Lei. ( Chapter 81 of

"Love and Desire" - Part 83)

The next morning, Liu Yan didn't leave her office. She didn't see Wu Min when she arrived at work either. Many times she considered going to Wu Min's office to check on her, but ultimately didn't. Near the end of the workday, Liu Yan couldn't resist calling Wu Min and asking her to come over.

Wu Min's heart started pounding after answering Liu Yan's call. After a moment's thought, she dialed Zhang Lei's number. Zhang Lei had called her early that morning, asking about Liu Yan's performance that day. Wu Min told him she hadn't seen Liu Yan come out and didn't dare go

to her office. Zhang Lei told her that Liu Yan might look for her later, and if she did, she should call him. Wu Min listened for a while, but was told no one answered. So, trembling, she went to Liu Yan's office, hesitated for a moment at the door, and then knocked. Entering, she saw Liu Yan sitting at her desk reading a magazine. Liu Yan didn't even look up when she came in. She was already terrified. She told herself: Stay calm. Sitting down on the sofa, Wu Min smiled at Liu Yan and asked, "Director Liu, did you need something?" Liu Yan looked up, staring at her expressionlessly. Wu Min trembled under her gaze, glancing at her briefly before avoiding her eyes. She lowered her head, thinking to herself, "I must stay calm; this is a test of my patience."

So she looked up at Liu Yan and smiled, saying, "Director Liu, what's wrong? The way you're looking at me is really scary." Liu Yan looked at her with a half-smile and asked, "What are you afraid of?

You haven't done anything wrong, so what's there to be afraid of?" Wu Min's heart skipped a beat, her face flushed red,

and she stammered, "Director Liu, I...I...I don't understand what you mean." Liu Yan stared at her for a while longer, seeing that Wu Min's flustered expression didn't explain anything, and regretted her own lack of composure. She smiled and said, "It's nothing, just a joke." Wu Min said, "Director Liu, I...I was really frightened by your gaze." Her eyes reddened as she spoke, tears welling up. After reading it, Liu Yan said, "It's okay, don't be nervous. I just said it offhand, I didn't mean anything by it." Wu Min's tears streamed down her face. She lowered her head and said, "Director Liu, you've never treated me like this before." She wiped away her tears, looked up at Liu Yan, and asked, "Director Liu, did I do something wrong?"

Seeing her frightened and sad appearance, Liu Yan's heart softened. She thought to herself that what happened last night probably really had nothing to do with her. Liu Yan said, "Look at you, I didn't say anything, why are you so nervous and sad? Do I look scary today?" Wu Min said, "No, it's just that your gaze and what you said just now..." Liu Yan said, "Don't overthink it, I didn't mean anything by it." Wu Min said, "Director Liu, if I've made any mistakes, please tell me. I respect you from the bottom of my heart. You're my benefactor, and I'll remember everything you say.

I'm just afraid of upsetting you." Liu Yan said, "Don't take what I said earlier to heart, I just said it casually, I didn't mean anything by it."

Wu Min wiped away her tears, feeling a little more at ease, and asked, "Director Liu, I was able to get into the training team this time thanks to you speaking up for me in front of Assistant Zhang, otherwise I wouldn't have had this opportunity. I will never forget your and Assistant Zhang's great kindness in my life. Now I'm just afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting you. If I've done anything wrong, please tell me, and I will definitely correct it."

After hearing Wu Min's words, Liu Yan's doubts about her completely disappeared. She laughed and said, "Alright, let's not talk about that anymore. I was just saying it offhand, don't make wild guesses. I called you here to ask if you've seen or heard of the movie we watched last night before." Wu Min was startled and blushed, quickly saying, "Oh dear, Director Liu, I'm always in this club, and I've only gone out twice with you and Assistant Zhang. I've never seen or even heard of a movie like that. Director Liu, have you heard of it?" Liu Yan shook her head and said, "I haven't heard of it either. I've only ever heard of internal films before. How could I have imagined it was like this?" Wu Min said, "I've also heard of internal films. I saw it in a magazine when Chi Zhiqiang was arrested. I originally thought it was a program for high-ranking officials." "Who would have thought there would be a film like this?" Liu Yan asked, "What are your thoughts after watching it?"

Wu Min had regained her composure by now. Hearing Liu Yan's question, she thought for a moment and said, "Director Liu, to be honest, I was really excited. I don't want to lie to you. I had thought about this kind of thing before, but it felt like a very mysterious and embarrassing thing. I didn't expect foreigners to be so open. Is it really like what's shown in the film when men and women do this kind of thing..." Liu Yan blushed and said, "I don't know. But for us women, I think we can only do this kind of thing with the person we love. What about the actions in this film? How are they any different from those of animals?" Wu Min's face flushed red instantly. She lowered her head, feeling ashamed as she thought about what she had done with Zhang Lei. After a moment, she looked up and asked, "Director Liu, have you ever loved anyone?" Liu Yan thought for a moment and shook her head, saying, "I haven't met anyone yet."

Wu Min tentatively asked, "I see that Assistant Zhang is interested in you..." Liu Yan's expression changed instantly, and she looked directly at her, saying, "Wu Min, I remember telling you once that it's impossible for him and me. I don't want to hear such words again." Wu Min looked at her awkwardly, her face flushed, and said, "I'm sorry, Director Liu, I won't say it again."

Liu Yan felt extremely annoyed at this moment, raised her wrist to check her watch, and said, "You're about to have dinner, go back." Wu Min stood up and said, "Director Liu, please don't be angry, I was just saying it casually." Liu Yan nodded and said, "I won't say it again, you won't have the chance to say it again." Wu Min was startled and looked at Liu Yan timidly, asking: "Director Liu, what do you mean?" Liu Yan said, "Aren't you leaving soon? You might not even come back to this club after graduation." Wu Min breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, saying, "As long as you want me, I still want to come back and be with you."

Liu Yan said, "I'd be happy to. We'll talk about it later."

As soon as Wu Min got to work that afternoon, she called Zhang Lei and briefly told him about the questions Liu Yan had asked her that morning. She concluded by saying, "There are some things I really can't figure out. It seems she suspects me. You absolutely mustn't mention me." Zhang Lei said, "Don't overthink it. Stay calm. With me here, everything will be fine."

After hanging up, Zhang Lei thought for a while and decided that he still needed to confront Liu Yan directly. This matter couldn't be avoided, and it would be better to find out Liu Yan's thoughts sooner so he could devise a strategy.

Zhang Lei's heart pounded as he knocked on Liu Yan's office door. With Liu Yan's invitation, Zhang Lei entered with an unnatural smile. Liu Yan looked up and saw it was him. An uncontrollable rage surged within her. She jumped to her feet, her face flushed, her body trembling. Pointing at Zhang Lei, she snapped in a trembling voice, "Get out!"

Zhang Lei hesitated. He had come prepared. He glanced timidly at Liu Yan, forcing a smile, and said, "Liu Yan, don't get so worked up. It's not good if others hear." Liu Yan's face turned from red to purple, then to green with anger. Her lips trembled, unable to speak. Zhang Lei said, "Sit down, talk slowly. I came here today to hear you yell at me. I hope you can vent your anger." He then sat down on the sofa.
Liu Yan glared at him, tears welling in her eyes, and said, "How dare you come into my office! Do you know who you are? You're a beast!" Zhang Lei sat there, his face still red, saying nothing.

Liu Yan said, "Are you even human? I treated you like a brother, I've always respected you. After what you've done, you still have the nerve to come here? Get out! I never want to see you again." Zhang Lei looked up at her and said, "Sit down first, calm down. I know I deserve to die, I'm just here to apologize. Don't be like this, don't let anyone hear." Liu Yan's tears streamed down her face, and she plopped down on the table, sobbing.

Zhang Lei quickly stood up and went to the table, saying, "Liu Yan, don't be like this, it'll be hard to explain if someone hears." Liu Yan's sobs subsided a little. Zhang Lei retreated to the sofa, his hands trembling as he lit a cigarette, saying, "I originally wanted to ask you to talk outside, but I knew you wouldn't agree, so I forced myself to come here. I was just afraid you'd get emotional, and it wouldn't be good for you if someone heard."

Liu Yan looked up and said, "I really didn't expect you to use such despicable means to do such a thing." Zhang Lei said, "At that time, I really acted on impulse..." Liu Yan sneered and said, "You acted on impulse? Don't treat me like a fool. I know I'm not as smart as you, but I can still figure this out. All of this is your conspiracy, your carefully planned conspiracy." Zhang Lei's heart pounded, and his face flushed red as he said, "Liu Yan, I've never had any ill will towards you. Yesterday I saw you..."

Liu Yan's heart skipped a beat and she said, "This is exactly the result of your careful planning. You intentionally showed me that kind of thing before carrying out your plan. You are truly despicable." Although Zhang Lei felt guilty, he had to put on a brave face and said, "Liu Yan..." "Think what you want. But what I want to say is that I didn't plot anything. I've always respected and admired you. To be honest, I like you, but I didn't want to have you so soon. Last night, maybe it was because I had a few drinks, when I came in to see you... I couldn't control myself."

Liu Yan decided to strike first as she had planned last night, so she said, "Don't say these things, you can't make it all up. Could everything that happened last night be such a coincidence? Nobody would believe that!

You know best what happened. I know it too. I just don't understand why you and Wu Min, that scoundrel, would do this to me?!"

Zhang Lei's heart pounded with shock, but at this moment he knew that although what Liu Yan said was true, it was all speculation. He told himself he had to stay calm. Zhang Lei said, "Liu Yan, I just don't understand why you think like this. If you say I want to do something to you, that's somewhat reasonable, but why drag Wu Min into it? I'll take responsibility for my own actions; I don't need to drag someone down with me. It makes no sense that I'm conspiring with Wu Min to harm you. Wu Min didn't do anything to you, so why would you suspect her?" Liu Yan said, "Don't try to cover for her. I know what's going on. I'm telling you today, once I confirm a connection with Wu Min, believe me, I can tear her to shreds."

Zhang Lei's heart trembled. He thought that Liu Yan's anger over this matter meant she had no feelings for him whatsoever. He couldn't help but feel disappointed. He lowered his head and thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know how to explain this to you. But I want to say for sure that this has nothing to do with Wu Min. It's not that I'm protecting her; she simply doesn't know anything about the inside story. Why are you dragging her into this? She's just a junior soldier. Think about it, even if you gave her the guts, would she dare to do this to you?"

Liu Yan had originally been bluffing Zhang Lei, but now, after hearing his words, she realized they made sense. But she still said, "Isn't she backed up by you, Zhang Lei? You know best whether she is or not. But let me make this clear to you today. Zhang Lei, I'm not afraid of you, and I'm not afraid of you. Now I'm no longer grateful for what you did for me before; I think you did it all to achieve your own goals. Now I'm making it clear that this isn't over. I've kept the evidence from last night. If I get pregnant because of this, I will definitely sue you."

Zhang Lei's face turned from red to green. At this moment, he was truly afraid and stammered, "I won't get pregnant, will I? Yesterday I was..." Liu Yan said, "Don't forget, I have a medical background. I know more than you. This isn't impossible. If nothing's wrong, I'll just consider last night as a dog bite and let it go. But if this gets out of your mouth, believe me, I will do what I should do, regardless of the feelings of both families' elders. I want to emphasize one last time: if I really get pregnant, I will still sue you without hesitation."

Zhang Lei stared blankly at Liu Yan, his heart pounding with panic, unable to speak. Seeing his expression, Liu Yan knew he was scared. She said, "Go back. That's all we have to say. I don't want to see you again." Zhang Lei didn't move, a pained expression on his face. He said, "Liu Yan, it's my fault. I'm sorry. But I really like you. I wanted to..." Liu Yan interrupted him, saying, "You want to marry me into your high-class family, right? Let me tell you, others may like me, but I don't." Zhang Lei said, "I know you won't, but I'm telling the truth. I really like you." Liu Yan sneered, "That's how you like me. I know it better than anyone. Let me tell you the truth too. Before this, I had feelings for you, and even thought about being with you. But since last night, I've considered you a morally corrupt scoundrel. Do you understand?" Liu Yan said this deliberately, believing it would make Zhang Lei feel even worse.

Zhang Lei's facial muscles trembled as he said, "Liu Yan, can't you forgive me this once? I acted on impulse..." Liu Yan looked directly at him and asked, "Do you think your actions are forgivable?" Zhang Lei said, "I know I deserve to die. But what's done is done, and it's too late for regrets. Liu Yan, I beg you, forgive me this time. For the sake of our two families' elders, don't do anything outrageous. Otherwise, not only will we both be disgraced, but our elders will also be ashamed to face everyone." Liu Yan said, "Now you're thinking about the elders. Why didn't you consider them when you planned this scheme?" Zhang Lei said with a bitter face, "I've already explained it to you, it really is..." "It was just a moment of impulse, how could I possibly plot against you?" Liu Yan said. "No matter what you say, I won't believe you.

Okay, let's just assume you're telling the truth. I'll know if I'm pregnant in a month, and we'll talk about it then." Zhang Lei said, "If I really am pregnant, I beg you not to do anything rash. I'll handle things perfectly. Think about it, it'll be embarrassing for me, embarrassing for you, and embarrassing for both our parents." Liu Yan waved her hand and said, "I won't say anymore. I'll consider this carefully. But I will never forgive you for this."

Zhang Lei shook his head painfully, secretly regretting his actions. He wanted Liu Yan as a person, not just her body. He genuinely liked Liu Yan and hoped to have her as his wife. He thought, this truly proves the saying, "Trying to steal a chicken but losing the rice instead." Otherwise, he might have been able to win Liu Yan's love by slowly winning her over with genuine feelings. He regretted: this must be his biggest failure.

But then he thought, is this how it ends? Give up? No, he must fight for even the slightest hope. He thought this might intimidate her. So he cautiously asked,

"Liu Yan, have you ever..." Liu Yan was startled and asked, "Had what?" Zhang Lei mustered his courage and said, "Last night, I noticed you didn't bleed." Liu Yan was shocked, and instantly trembled with anger, saying, "You, you, are you even human? You wanted to know? Fine, I'll tell you, I've been with countless men. Haven't you seen me going out to find men every night? I change every day, I like it, I'm happy, what can you do about it? I just don't want you to touch me, you're not worthy! Do you understand now? You can go around spreading this, I said it myself." She paused, then added fiercely, "You're truly shameless." Zhang Lei blushed and stammered, "I, I, that's all, just saying, I'm sorry."

Liu Yan... Tears streamed down her face as she said, "I never thought you were so shameless, get out!"

Zhang Lei felt defeated once again. He was somewhat desperate, his face flushed as he said, "Yes, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I should have absolutely faith in your character." Liu Yan sneered and said, "There's no need for that. What do I need you to believe? Everyone can see clearly that I'm upright and honest. What do I have to fear from what others say? Only a petty person like you would ask such a question."

Zhang Lei said, "I'm really sorry." After saying that, he stood up dejectedly and looked up at Liu Yan, pleading, "Liu Yan, I beg you to forgive me again. For the sake of our families' elders, and for the sake of my sincere feelings for you, please forgive me this time. I won't make you angry here. Try to think positively." Liu Yan didn't say anything. Zhang Lei, like a defeated rooster, stepped out the door.

Love and Desire (84)

Chapter 82

After Zhang Lei left, Liu Yan couldn't help but shed tears again. She thought that no matter what, she had vented her anger today, and she had said what needed to be said. Zhang Lei wouldn't dare to do anything to her anymore.

This time, she can only swallow her anger and suffer in silence. What else can she do? As long as it doesn't get out and Ouyang Yiming doesn't find out later, she'll be lucky. What worries her most right now is that she feels sorry for Ouyang Yiming.

A while later, she got up and went to the bathroom. When she came out, she washed her hands and looked in the mirror. She was startled to see her eyes were red and swollen, with dark circles. She realized it was because she hadn't slept well last night and had just cried. She washed her face for a bit and was about to leave when Wu Min rushed in. She was startled to see Liu Yan, but after a moment, she composed herself and called out, "Director Liu." Liu Yan hummed in response, and Wu Min went into the bathroom.

While in the bathroom, Wu Min kept thinking about Liu Yan's expression, still feeling uneasy. She had seen Zhang Lei's car arrive and had been anxious, wondering how Liu Yan would treat him. She had considered eavesdropping at Liu Yan's door but hadn't dared. She had heard Zhang Lei start the car and drive away and was thinking of calling him later, but then she saw Liu Yan here. She thought to herself that even though she felt guilty, the more confused she acted, the more Liu Yan would believe her. After leaving the bathroom, she went straight to Liu Yan's office.

Entering the room, Wu Min greeted Liu Yan with a broad smile, saying, "I saw Assistant Zhang's car arrive earlier. Was it about opening a video rental shop?" Liu Yan replied, "No." Wu Min sat down on the sofa and said,

"I think this is definitely feasible. Should I draft a report first? If it gets approved, I think it's best to get it started sooner rather than later."

Liu Yan looked at Wu Min's composed demeanor and noticed that she didn't shy away from Zhang Lei at all, wondering if what happened last night had nothing to do with her. "Why are you worrying about this when you're about to leave?" Liu Yan said. Wu Min smiled and said, "I haven't received the notification yet. Even if I did receive the notification but didn't report for duty, I would still do my job as required." Liu Yan smiled and said, "I haven't thought about this matter yet. Let's talk about it later." Wu Min said, "I think it's a good idea. A martial arts film like this will definitely be popular with the officers and soldiers. Besides, with Assistant Zhang's support, I think it's better to get it done sooner rather than later." Liu Yan said, "We haven't done any investigation, so how do we know it will definitely be popular? I'm still worried about what the older cadres will think." Wu Min said, "It's obvious what the officers and soldiers will think.

It's hard to say about the older cadres. What young people like might not be what they like. Do you think we should have Assistant Zhang sound out those older cadres first? Maybe they'll like it." (The text abruptly ends here, likely due to an incomplete sentence or a missing section.) "Those old cadres also like it," Liu Yan said. "Let's talk about it in a few days. I'm afraid you won't be able to wait that long." Wu Min said, "I really hope I can stay a few more days and get this done for you." Liu Yan said, "Thank you for your kindness." Wu Min said, "Oh, Director Liu, look at you saying that again. I don't know how to repay your great kindness. I just want to do more for you." Liu Yan said, "Then come back after graduation." She paused and said, "I'm not feeling well today and want to go back early. If there's anything here, discuss it with Wang Jingjing. If

anyone looks for me, just say I'm out on business." Wu Min asked with concern, "Do you need to see a doctor?" Liu Yan said, "No, I probably drank too much last night." Wu Min quickly got up and said, "

Then you should go back and rest. Don't worry about things here." Liu Yan nodded and went out with Wu Min.

After watching Liu Yan leave, Wu Min secretly rejoiced, thinking to herself, "It seems Liu Yan no longer doubts me." There was no need to rush to ask Zhang Lei. They were leaving in a few days; who had the heart to care about the screening room? As long as Zhang Lei kept quiet, everything would be fine. As for whether Zhang Lei and Liu Yan could get married, that was up to them; she wouldn't get involved in their affairs anymore. She couldn't afford to offend them!

After returning home, Liu Yan took a shower and went to bed. She slept soundly until Director Qin returned home from work. Director Qin prepared dinner and waited for a while, but Liu Yan didn't come home. He then called the club. Wu Min and Wang Jingjing had just returned from the cafeteria and heard the phone ringing as they passed Liu Yan's office. Wang Jingjing muttered, "Who's calling at this hour?" Wu Min didn't pay much attention. Just as the phone in Liu Yan's office stopped ringing, her own office phone rang. She quickly opened the door, picked up the phone, and heard it was Liu Yan's mother calling. So he told Director Qin, "Director Liu wasn't feeling well today and went home early."

Director Qin hung up the phone, went upstairs, and opened Liu Yan's door. Sure enough, he saw Liu Yan fast asleep in bed. He went over, bent down, and touched Liu Yan's forehead, but didn't feel any fever. At this moment, Liu Yan woke up. She opened her eyes, saw her mother, and called out "Mom" but didn't get up. Director Qin asked, "Where do you feel unwell?" Liu Yan lazily replied, "I feel unwell everywhere." Director Qin said, "Get up and go to the clinic." Liu Yan said, "It's nothing, I'll be fine after resting for a while." Director Qin said sarcastically, "Did you drink last night? Why would a young girl like you drink?"

Liu Yan didn't say anything, but her mind started to wander back to what had happened last night. Director Qin said, "Dinner's ready. Get up and eat something before you go back to sleep. I thought you weren't back yet. I called your office just now and found out you were back early." Liu Yan said, "I don't want to eat. You go eat." Director Qin slapped Liu Yan's bottom and said, "Get up. I think you're just being lazy." Liu Yan said,

"I really don't want to eat." Hearing her listless voice, Director Qin sat down on the edge of the bed and asked, "Are you really not feeling well?" Liu Yan nodded. Director Qin said, "Sleeping like this won't do. Get up and eat something. I'll go with you to see a doctor." As she spoke, she stood up, pulled Liu Yan's arm, and Liu Yan sat up, head down, and said, "I really don't want to eat at all." Director Qin said, "I made red date and lotus seed porridge. Get up and have a bowl." Liu Yan nodded, got out of bed, put on a skirt and slippers, and went downstairs with her mother.

After washing her face, Liu Yan went into the dining room and saw that her mother had already served the rice. She sat down at the table and silently began to eat her porridge. Director Qin looked at her and asked, "Why are your eyes so swollen?" Liu Yan was startled and subconsciously raised her hand to touch her eyes, saying, "I think it's from sleeping." Director Qin was skeptical. Seeing that Liu Yan was only drinking porridge, he said, "Why don't you eat any of the fried dough?" Liu Yan shook her head and said, "I don't want to eat." Director Qin said, "If you're really not feeling well, you should go see a doctor later." Liu Yan seemed a little impatient and said, "Oh, I've told you several times that I'm fine." Director Qin looked at her suspiciously, shook his head, and didn't say anything more, but he felt that Liu Yan was acting quite strangely. While eating, he would occasionally glance at his daughter and see that Liu Yan looked preoccupied, so he didn't dare to ask anything more. "Look," she said, "your dad's always away on business trips. When he's gone, I'm all alone in this big house. It's a good thing you were transferred back. Don't you think I'm lonely all alone at home?" Liu Yan sighed and said, "I really shouldn't have transferred back." Director Qin looked at her in surprise, and after a long pause asked, "What's wrong with you today? Is there something you're hiding from me?" Liu Yan's mind was still preoccupied with last night's events, and then she thought of Ouyang Yiming. Hearing her mother's words, she blurted out, "I really shouldn't have transferred back." Seeing her mother glaring at her, she knew she'd slipped up, so she smiled and said, "It's nothing, nothing at all." Director Qin asked, "Why did you suddenly say you shouldn't have transferred back?" Liu Yan said, "It just slipped out. I miss my comrades." As the saying goes, no one knows a daughter better than her mother. How could Liu Yan's flimsy explanation possibly fool her mother? Director Qin watched as Liu Yan lowered her head to drink a sip of porridge, then looked up and asked, "Is there a problem at work?" Liu Yan replied, "No, everything's fine." As she spoke, a pang of sadness struck her, and tears welled in her eyes. She quickly finished the remaining porridge, stood up, and said, "Mom, you can get ready, I'm going upstairs." Director Qin felt a heavy weight in his heart and remained silent. He stared blankly at his daughter as she went upstairs without looking back for a moment. After finishing his meal, he hurriedly tidied up and sat on the sofa for a while. He thought to himself that Liu Yan must have encountered something difficult to talk about. He then decided to go upstairs. Pushing open the door, he saw Liu Yan sitting blankly in a chair at the table. He walked to the bedside, sat down on the edge of the bed, and stared intently at Liu Yan. Liu Yan had just gone upstairs and couldn't help but shed a few more tears; her eyes were still red. Director Qin, noticing this, asked closely, "Yanzi, what happened?" Liu Yan shook her head and forced a smile, saying, "Really, nothing's wrong." Director Qin said, "Yanzi, I'm your mother. How could you hide anything from me? You were crying just now." Liu Yan felt a pang of sadness; daughters always couldn't hide their grievances from their mothers, and now her eyes were red again. She turned her head away, and tears streamed down her face. Director Qin's heart trembled. She stood up and walked to Liu Yan, placing her hand on Liu Yan's shoulder, saying, "Yanzi, what can't you tell your mother? I'm your mother. Why should you hide things from your own mother?" Liu Yan could no longer control herself. She turned and hugged her mother's waist, crying out "Mom!" in a heart-wrenching voice before bursting into tears. Director Qin trembled all over. She knew that Liu Yan, who had always been strong, wouldn't cry like this unless she had experienced a great injustice. She was anxious but knew it wasn't appropriate to rush to ask questions while Liu Yan was crying. She gently patted her daughter's head and said, "Child, cry, it'll make you feel better." Liu Yan cried, "Mom, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have been transferred back, I..." Director Qin didn't speak, but cried along with Liu Yan. After a while, Liu Yan slowly stopped crying. Director Qin raised her hand to wipe her daughter's tears, sat back on the bed, and looked at Liu Yan, saying, "Tell me, what exactly happened?" Liu Yan looked at her mother with teary eyes, lowered her head, and said, "Zhang Lei, Zhang Lei raped me." These very soft words were like a bolt from the blue for Director Qin. After a moment of stunned silence, she stood up abruptly and asked, "You mean, you mean Zhang Lei, the son of Political Commissar Zhang?" Liu Yan nodded and began to cry softly again. Director Qin said sternly, "Don't cry." Liu Yan trembled, immediately stopped crying, and looked at her mother in panic. Director Qin glared at her and asked, "When? Was it last night?" Liu Yan timidly replied, "Yes." Director Qin asked, "Didn't you go with Wu Min yesterday? How did he have the opportunity?" Liu Yan opened her mouth but couldn't speak. Director Qin asked, "Are you dating Zhang Lei?" Liu Yan hurriedly said, "No, I've never had any such feelings for him." Director Qin asked, "Then how dare he have such thoughts? Where did he rape you?" Liu Yan looked blankly at her mother, tears streaming down her face. Director Qin looked at her daughter's pained expression and her heart softened again. She sat down helplessly, took a breath, and said, "Tell me slowly, don't cry anymore. What's the use of crying now that it's out?" Liu Yan wiped away her tears and told her mother what had happened last night. But Liu Yan didn't mention watching the pornographic video; she only said that she was watching a martial arts movie at Zhang Lei's house, Wu Min went out to buy toilet paper, and when Zhang Lei came back and saw her alone, he raped her. Director Qin, his eyes blazing with anger, said indignantly, "That beast! Isn't this bullying? Just because he's a father, he thinks he can bully people? Our family isn't going to be trifled with!" Liu Yan, seeing her mother's furious expression, was somewhat frightened and said, "Mom, Zhang Lei came to my office this afternoon to apologize, and I scolded him." Director Qin said, "An apology and that's it? This isn't over. Are you just going to let this go? He really doesn't respect our family at all. He should know who he's bullying!" Liu Yan said, "He said he was drunk." Director Qin said, "That's nonsense!" Then he asked, "Does Wu Min know about this?" Liu Yan said, "She doesn't know." Director Qin said, "That's alright. But I won't let this go like this." Liu Yan said, "Mom, I've thought about it too. If this gets out, do you think I'll ever be able to face anyone? I warned Zhang Lei this afternoon." Director Qin said, "If he dares to tell anyone, I'll eat him alive." He paused and said, "No, his family has to know about this, otherwise..." Liu Yan panicked and said, "Mom, isn't this making this public? I was worried you'd go to his parents, that's why I didn't tell you." Director Qin thought for a moment and said, "Don't tell his parents." "What if he takes advantage of us later?" Liu Yan said, "He wouldn't dare. I warned him. I told him I would report him if anything happened to him. He's scared now." Hearing this, Director Qin became worried again, saying, "I'm also worried that you might be pregnant." Liu Yan lowered her head and whispered, "No, he didn't... he didn't do it inside, he did it outside." Director Qin breathed a sigh of relief, thought for a moment, and said, "This really can't be let your father and Political Commissar Zhang know. I know Political Commissar Zhang well. If either your father or Political Commissar Zhang finds out, they might shoot that beast. Then things will get really big, and our two families will also..." It's such a shame. Both their family and ours have status, so how will your father and I have the dignity to meet people at that time? He stood up and took two steps, and said irritably: "Oh, why did this happen? What should I do?" Liu Yan said: "Zhang Lei will not dare again." Director Qin said, "I'm just afraid that guy will tell me." "Liu Yan said: "He wouldn't even dare to think about it. Director Qin thought for a while and said, "That's all I have to do now. I'll think about it again and don't say anything now." "After a pause, he said: "Don't think too much. Since this has happened, you must treat it correctly. What's the point of crying all the time? ! "Liu Yan nodded. Director Qin went downstairs and sat in the living room for a while. She still couldn't get rid of the anger in her heart. What she was thinking was, Zhang Lei is so domineering. He plays with power and insults women and he even bullies our family. He clearly doesn't take our family seriously. How can we say that our family is also a family of senior cadres, which is one level younger than yours. How dare you be so arrogant? Don't even mention you, even your father would have to consider the consequences and exercise restraint when dealing with our family. How dare you, you beast, be so domineering? How can you just swallow this insult?! This woman, who usually commands respect and influence, is now furious at the unexpected humiliation her family has suffered. This uncontrollable anger stems from the imbalance that arises from her prominent family being bullied, from a deep-seated resentment that she believes she should never have encountered such a shameful and humiliating situation. She believes her family, which is always flattered, envied, and even revered, should not have suffered such humiliation. It is the intense resentment that arises from the defilement of the powerful and wealthy.

Minister Jiang gasped, his mouth agape. He leaned forward, holding his breath, and asked urgently, "You mean my Zhang Lei... Zhang Lei raped your Yanzi?" Director Qin nodded, tears streaming down his face. Minister Jiang was stunned for a moment, then shook his head, saying, "This... how could this be? This... how could this be?" Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang, don't get agitated. This isn't something I made up. I've noticed something's wrong with my Yanzi these past two days. Even last night, if I hadn't forced her to tell me, she would still be keeping it from me. You tell me about this..." Minister Jiang stared wide-eyed at Director Qin, asking, "Was it the night before last?" Director Qin said, "It was the night before last. I would never have believed Zhang Lei would do such a thing to Yanzi if she hadn't told me. Yanzi has always treated Zhang Lei like a brother, and I've always treated him like my own child. How could Zhang Lei be so foolish?" Minister Jiang slammed his fist on the table, his eyes blazing with rage.

"That beast, I'll have Lao Zhang deal with him when we get home,"

Director Qin said hurriedly. "Minister Jiang, please don't tell Political Commissar Zhang. I'm afraid the two men from our families will find out. It's a coincidence that Lao Liu went to a meeting at the General Logistics Department yesterday, otherwise he would have made a huge fuss if he knew. The reason I didn't come to your house to talk about this is because I was afraid Political Commissar Zhang would find out; his temper is similar to my Lao Liu's. I didn't come here for any real reason.

Minister Jiang, our families have a long-standing relationship. I'm not here to tell you what to do about Zhang Lei, nor am I here to interrogate you. I'm worried that Zhang Lei will spread this around. I came to you so you can quietly ask Zhang Lei when you get back and tell him not to tell anyone about this. If it gets out and my Lao Liu finds out, he'll be furious! How will my Yanzi face anyone? Young people make mistakes in a moment of impulse, and we old folks can't do anything about it. I don't blame Zhang Lei now; blaming him won't do any good. I'm just worried about it getting out." "Go away. Young people think too simply. If we, the elders, don't get involved, he might act like nothing happened, but he might even tell others, and then both our families would be in trouble. It's only because he bullied Yanzi that I've managed to suppress this, given our family relationship. If it were someone else, would they be willing to help? What if something serious happened? Where would we, as elders, put our faces? I treat Zhang Lei like my own child, I've watched him grow up. We won't make a fuss about our own family matters; as long as no one knows, everything will be fine. Family scandals shouldn't be aired in public, right? Yanzi has suffered, so what can we do? Last night, Yanzi cried her heart out, saying she couldn't live anymore, saying she wanted to sue Zhang Lei. Do you think I would let her do such a thing? What kind of relationship do our families have? We'll just have to swallow our pride. What can we say now? Both our families are influential; if this gets out, we'll lose face big time. Don't you think so, Minister Jiang?" Director Qin said, tears streaming down his face.

Minister Jiang had been listening quietly, and now he was genuinely moved by Liu Yan's mother's words. He said, "Director Qin, please don't be angry. Anyone would be furious in this situation.

It's rare that you've thought of everything so thoroughly. It's exactly like this; if word gets out, both our families will be utterly disgraced. Your daughter, Yanzi, won't be able to stay in the military compound anymore. That beast, how could he do such a heinous thing? Isn't he immoral? Yanzi is such a good child, and this thing has ruined her! Heaven and earth cannot tolerate this! No, if his father doesn't cure him this time, he'll be in big trouble!" "Heavens! How can we face Yanzi again!"

Director Qin wiped away his tears and said, "Minister Jiang, don't be angry. We can't let Political Commissar Zhang know. I'll say it again: just tell Zhang Lei not to tell anyone, and give him a few words of criticism.

What's done is done." Minister Jiang said, "Isn't that too unfair to our Yanzi? We can't keep that beast from finding out." Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang, don't say anything more. I'll try to talk to Yanzi. Luckily, she's around every day, so she knows what's going on." Minister Jiang said, "Then I'll go see Yanzi tonight." He paused and said:

"No, we have to take Zhang Lei over and make him kneel down before Yanzi, so he can slap his own inhuman face," said Director Qin. "You shouldn't go either, and don't let Zhang Lei apologize again.

Yanzi won't be in a good mood if she sees Zhang Lei. I'll handle things over there; you just need to take care of Zhang Lei."

Minister Jiang thought for a moment and said, "Director Qin, I don't know what to say right now. It's rare for you to be so magnanimous, so I'll apologize to you and Yanzi first. I don't know what to say right now, I just feel sorry for you, sorry for Minister Liu, and even more sorry for Yanzi." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, and she sobbed, "How could I have given birth to such a beast?" Liu Yan's mother said, "Minister Jiang, don't be angry anymore. We sisters will just leave it at that. When you go back tonight, talk to Zhang Lei, but don't make things too difficult for him. Just talk to him nicely, as long as it doesn't get out.

Avoid Political Commissar Zhang, and absolutely don't let him know."

Minister Jiang wiped away her tears and nodded, saying, "Do you think I can see him tonight?" Smash his face. Director Qin, please persuade Yanzi to think things through. I'll go see her again in a while. Director Qin stood up and said, "Then that's settled, I'm going back."

Minister Jiang hurriedly walked to her side and grabbed her hand, saying, "Director Qin, for the sake of our two families, for the sake of my and Old Zhang's reputation, you and Yanzi should forgive that scoundrel this once." Director Qin said, "Why say such things? Aren't they our own children? We sisters shouldn't say anything more." Minister Jiang sighed and said, "Alright, I won't say anything more. Go back and tell Yanzi what I said, that her Uncle Zhang and I are asking her for forgiveness." Director Qin sighed and said, "I'll go back and tell her. Don't you also treat Yanzi as your own child? Let's not say anything else, don't see her off."

Love and Desire (85)

Chapter Eighty-Three

In the days after Xu Hui left, Ouyang Yiming began to seriously consider his relationship with her, and when he thought about it, he felt extremely uneasy. He was tormented by Xu Hui's arrival and the genuine affection she had shown him and his family. He repeatedly berated himself for being selfish and shameless. He wondered how he was any different from Zhu Haitao, who had toyed with an innocent girl.

He knew that in the days to come, he would feel even more guilty towards Xu Hui and even less able to face her. He didn't know what to do; the situation was becoming increasingly passive. He regretted his previous plan to reveal his relationship with Liu Yan to Xu Hui before graduation, a foolish idea that had led both him and Xu Hui deeper into the mess.

He knew that from now on, he would not only be facing Xu Hui, but also his family, relatives, classmates, and Xu Hui's family. Thinking about the future—no, facing all of this in less than a year—filled him with panic. How would he face everyone's questions? How would he explain himself to them? Most importantly, how would he deal with Xu Hui's feelings?

He repeatedly tried to justify himself in his mind, saying that he had never mentioned love to Xu Hui. But he would soon blush at his own weak excuse. Even though he hadn't mentioned love to Xu Hui, and Xu Hui hadn't explicitly said "I love you" to him, could he deny the undeniable affection? Even though he kept expressing it in his heart, could he deny that some of his unconscious actions and caring words weren't expressions of his feelings for Xu Hui? Could he deny that he didn't know Xu Hui loved him, even cherished him as if he were her life? Although he had considered that revealing his affair with Liu Yan would hurt Xu Hui, he knew that dragging it out would only hurt her more deeply.

Deep down, he didn't want to hurt Xu Hui; he couldn't deny that he liked her, and even considered her a part of his life. But he hadn't given his love to Xu Hui; he had given it to another woman. Subconsciously, he considered Xu Hui a member of his family, even though he thought of her as a younger sister. He couldn't deny that he only saw her as a sister, and that his feelings for Xu Hui were mixed with love. But he never harbored any improper thoughts towards Xu Hui as he did towards Liu Yan.

He never had any impure intentions towards Xu Hui. So, to what category should his feelings for Xu Hui be categorized as love?

In his heart, Xu Hui was pure and innocent; sacred and inviolable; a mortal's devotion to a goddess. Yet, deep down, he also didn't want Xu Hui to love another man besides him; he didn't want her to be possessed by another. Thinking of these things, he felt ashamed of his thoughts, selfish, and a shameful, unspeakable embarrassment. But he couldn't stop himself from thinking this way. If Xu Hui left him to love another man, he thought he would be devastated. But the reality was that he had already given his love to Liu Yan; his love for Liu Yan was the true, unspoken love between a man and a woman. So, was it shameless of him to still have such thoughts about Xu Hui? He knew love was indivisible; love between a man and a woman could only be given to one person. Having given this love to Liu Yan, he couldn't give it to Xu Hui, yet he couldn't withdraw the love in his heart from Xu Hui.

Even though he could silently wish Xu Hui would marry another man she loved, he knew it was just a wish. Xu Hui had already given him her love unconditionally, even though they had never talked about love, never dated, never made vows like he had with Liu Yan. The fact remained undeniable. His

biggest worry wasn't how he would face everyone's questions later. It was the thought of Xu Hui finding out he loved Liu Yan, that he had given his love to Liu Yan instead of her. What would Xu Hui's reaction be? This cruel blow could be fatal for her. The thought made his heart tremble and his body grow cold. He didn't want Xu Hui to suffer because of this, didn't want anything unpredictable or terrifying to happen to her. He didn't even want Xu Hui to be unhappy in the slightest. Any pain she experienced was unbearable. But all that was likely to happen was inevitable. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't avoid facing it.

Ouyang Yiming felt exhausted by these daily, agonizing thoughts. He wanted to confide in someone; he wanted to get a solution from others; he wanted someone to give him a perfect solution. But he knew that neither he nor anyone else could give him a perfect answer. There could never be a perfect answer to this matter. Once, he had a very strong urge to tell his mother everything, but in the end, he didn't have the courage to speak. He didn't seem to have the courage to face his mother either; he also knew that Xu Hui already held a very important place in his mother's heart.

He also thought about talking to Fan Xurui about this, but he knew that Fan Xurui couldn't give him any perfect solution either. He even thought about telling Liu Yan about his current situation with Xu Hui, but he dismissed the idea the moment it crossed his mind. He could fully imagine how Liu Yan would feel when she found out that Xu Hui had come to her house twice. She would be sad, she would be in pain, she would have countless thoughts. It would affect her current work, and even something unexpected might happen. He blushed at having such foolish thoughts.

At lunchtime that day, Mao Yuqin looked at Ouyang Yiming's difficulty swallowing and noticed how much thinner his face had become in recent days. She sighed, assuming he was still immersed in grief over losing his grandmother. Her eyes reddened, and she said, "Yiming, don't stay home all day. It will only make you feel worse. Go out and play with your classmates Xu Rui and the others."

Ouyang Yiming replied, "I'm not interested in playing." Mao Yuqin felt a pang of sadness, tears welling in her eyes. She said, "Even if you keep acting like this, your grandmother won't come back."

At this, everyone stopped eating, and Ouyang Mei's tears fell into her bowl. The old man sighed and said, "You three children are filial, your grandmother and I both know that. But once someone is gone, they're gone. No one can live forever. In a few years, I'll be gone too. Does that mean you can't live your lives? From now on, no one can be like this. Eat when you should eat, do what you should do. If you keep acting like this, will your grandmother be at peace? You all need to listen to me." As he spoke, his own eyes also reddened.

Ouyang Anping said, "Your grandfather is right. You all need to try to be more open-minded. Losing a loved one is painful for everyone." Ouyang Mei burst into tears, saying, "But...but Grandma did it all for me..." The old man said, "Your thinking is wrong. What do you mean 'it was all for you'? Everyone has a predetermined lifespan, and how old you are when you pass away is all arranged by God. Can you argue with God?! Don't think so much." Mao Yuqin said, "Your grandmother loves you all unconditionally, but if you keep acting like this, she won't be happy." Ouyang Yiming tugged at his sister's sleeve and whispered, "Don't cry, they won't be able to eat if you keep crying like this." Ouyang Mei wiped away her tears and started eating. After that, no one spoke during the rest of the meal.

After lunch, Ouyang Yiming couldn't fall asleep for a while. He got up, washed his face, and saw that his family was all napping. He left a note on the table saying that he had gone out to see a classmate. Then he pushed his bicycle out the door.

He rode his bicycle slowly and aimlessly on the road. In the sweltering heat, despite the dense shade of the roadside trees, waves of heat still enveloped him. The asphalt in the middle of the road had melted under the sun, and cars screeched as they drove over it.

Ouyang Yiming didn't know where he was going, nor did he have any particular intention. His eyes scanned the hurried pedestrians and shops on the street. In this weather, at this midday hour, his seemingly leisurely cycling and admiring of the street scene stood out. But no one paid him any attention.

Nearly an hour passed in this mindless wandering when he suddenly realized he had reached the outskirts of the city. And the direction he was heading was precisely the road to Maoshan Temple. So, his spirits lifted, and he sped up. The air in the suburbs seemed cooler, and the temperature wasn't as sweltering as in the city. His mood seemed much more relaxed.

He thought about the temple he had visited with Xu Hui, and the mysterious monk inside. He had no particular intention about going to the temple, yet a strong desire to reach it quickly arose within him.

He arrived at the temple almost unconsciously, surprised that this time it seemed much faster than before, as if the journey had shortened. The temple gate remained the same, but the tall trees surrounding it were now laden with lush green leaves, enhancing the tranquility of the dilapidated temple. The thick locust tree in the courtyard, its branches and leaves abundant, shaded half the courtyard,

appearing much more vibrant and lively than when he last visited.

Ouyang Yiming parked his bicycle under the shade of the trees in the courtyard, standing there looking around, and suddenly realized that this was a wonderful place to escape the summer heat. A gentle breeze blew through the courtyard, making it cool and pleasant. The chirping of countless birds in the locust tree and the trees behind the house brought joy to his heart. The bluestone slabs in the courtyard were still smooth and shiny, and everything was spotlessly clean. For a moment, he felt as if he were in a fairyland, bathing in a blissful paradise.
Listening intently, he heard no sound of the monk striking the wooden fish. Looking up, he saw the door to the room where the Buddha statue was located was open. Approaching, he climbed the steps and entered. The spot where the monk had sat was empty; the wooden fish rested on the stone bench in front of him. Beside him was the same woven basket, neatly filled with bundles of incense. In a corner lay a few loose bills, probably a dozen or so yuan. Ouyang Yiming took a five-yuan note from his pocket and placed it among the money. He then took four bundles of incense and lit them in order, kneeling and praying before the four-faced Buddha.

After rising, he looked at the Buddha statue with piety, thinking, "Buddha, you are said to grant all requests. How should I handle my current relationship with Xu Hui? Please help me." I don't want Xu Hui to suffer any pain. I hope her life will be filled with happiness. I hope she won't hate me after learning about my relationship with Liu Yan. I hope to always have such a woman who understands me, cares about me, and is my friend—the closest kind of friend of the opposite sex, without any ulterior motives. I hope she will always consider me her most trustworthy confidante, someone she can confide in completely. I promise you I will take care of her and love her, like I love my family and relatives… At this moment, Ouyang Yiming heard a "Amitabha," and turned around in surprise. He saw the monk had already entered and was standing in front of him. Ouyang Yiming
hurriedly bowed and called out, "Master."

The monk smiled, clasped his hands in a bow to Ouyang Yiming, turned around, and sat on the stone bench behind the wooden fish table. Without striking the wooden fish, he spoke: "Did you come alone, benefactor?" Ouyang Yiming replied, "Yes."

He asked again, "Master, do you still remember me?" The monk said, "Yes."

Ouyang Yiming felt flattered and said, "Master has such a good memory." He squatted down in front of him as he spoke. The monk smiled but remained silent. Ouyang Yiming said, "Master, I didn't see you when I came in." The monk said, "I was resting." Ouyang Yiming pointed to the basket of incense and said, "You haven't taken the incense money here." The monk smiled slightly and said,

"This incense money is an offering from benefactors to Buddha. Whoever Buddha wants to take it can take it; whoever Buddha doesn't want to take it, no one can take it away."

Ouyang Yiming nodded, and after a moment said, "Master, I've encountered some sad and troubling things recently, and I'd like to ask you for guidance." The monk said, "The old woman passed away at the right time; her lifespan had ended. Life and death are predetermined." Ouyang Yiming was startled and asked, "You know my grandmother passed away?" The monk said, "You were wearing a black armband."

Ouyang Yiming then remembered the black armband he was wearing and said, "My grandmother was always in good health, but I never thought she would fall down the mountain and leave so early." His eyes reddened as he spoke.

The monk said, "Everyone's fate is predetermined. Years ago, there was a major earthquake in Northeast China, and many stones fell from the sky, including three large ones. Think about what happened that year?" Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment, then was startled and said, "That was 1976, wasn't it? I know. That year, a large number of small meteorites scattered on the ground in the suburbs of Jilin City, including three large ones that fell one after another. The largest one weighed over 3,000 kilograms. That year, there was a major earthquake in Tangshan, and countless people died." The monk said, "Those small stones represent the insignificant people in the earthquake zone, and those three large stones represent three important people. Everything is predetermined."

Ouyang Yiming thought to himself, "Indeed, that was the year three leaders passed away one after another. Was all of this arranged by Heaven?" So he asked, "So everyone's death is predetermined, then are there signs before everyone's death?" The monk said, "Everyone will, but you might not notice some of them." Ouyang Yiming nodded and then asked, "So all the pain and joy a person experiences in their life are predetermined?" The monk said, "Honor, disgrace, life, and death are all predetermined. Even if you have desires, there are no desires to have."

Ouyang Yiming understood the first two sentences perfectly, but the last two were confusing, so he asked, "How should 'Even if you have desires, there are no desires to have' be explained?" The monk chanted "Amitabha" and said, "A person cannot be without destiny, as long as you have desires. If you have no desires, you transcend destiny. Although you can change destiny, you can only change it, not transcend it." Ouyang Yiming seemed to understand, but he didn't press for further explanation.

Ouyang Yiming thought for a moment and said, "Master, I've been troubled by love for many days now. I wonder if you could give me some guidance?" The monk said, "Love and marriage are all predetermined. What is meant to be experienced will be experienced, what is meant to be lost will be lost, and what is meant to be possessed will be possessed. It's all predetermined. There's no need to force it. The troubles and pains that are meant to be experienced are also predetermined. They are the Buddha's punishment for one's sins, and there's no escaping them." Ouyang Yiming pondered for a moment and said, "So, I shouldn't try to change or improve things?" The monk said, "You can't change them. Trying to change them will only create more sins, and these sins will diminish one's blessings." Ouyang Yiming seemed to understand, and his mind suddenly cleared. He thought, "So that's how it is. Since everything is predetermined, what is meant to come will come, and what is meant to go will go. Why create trouble for myself?" After a moment, he thought again, "Who can reach such a broad state of mind and not care?"

The monk picked up a wooden stick, closed his eyes, and began to strike the wooden fish, clearly not wanting to talk to Ouyang Yiming anymore. Ouyang Yiming tactfully stood up and thanked the monk. The monk chanted, "Amitabha."

Ouyang Yiming went out.

Feeling much lighter, he stood in the courtyard, enjoying the rare coolness in the sweltering heat. He sighed, thinking how truly unique this Buddhist sanctuary was, an ideal place to escape the heat. Turning his head, he saw the well in the corner and walked over.

The well was located in the very center of the corner, its circumference about a meter around the edge enclosed by four finely carved semi-circular bluestones. The gaps between the stones were so small that a knife blade could barely be inserted. The stones were carved with patterns of coiled dragons and colorful clouds. The wellhead was carved from a single piece of bluestone, about half a meter thick, over a meter in diameter, and more than forty centimeters high. The grooves worn into the inner side by the well rope were about ten centimeters deep, showing its age. After carefully examining it, Ouyang Yiming couldn't help but marvel at the ingenuity of the well, imagining the prosperity of the temple in its heyday. Peeking inside, he saw that the well was much larger than its opening, at least two meters in diameter. The water was deep, and he could vaguely see the shimmering surface. Around the

well, various vegetables were planted, two or three of each: eggplant, peppers, green beans, tomatoes, etc. Vines of loofah and pumpkin climbed the stone wall, which was taller than a person, bearing some fruit. Ouyang Yiming thought that for an old man, these vegetables were enough to eat.

Ouyang Yiming couldn't explain why he was so interested in this well, which his grandfather had only mentioned once. Every time he thought of the temple, he thought of this well. It was as if something was subconsciously hinting at something.

Leaving the temple, he slung his leg over the bicycle, gripped the brakes, and glided down the ramp. He kept thinking about the monk's words. According to the monk, love and marriage were predetermined, so his relationship with Xu Hui was also predestined. What was meant to be experienced could not be avoided. What was meant to be resolved would be resolved naturally in time. So he comforted himself, thinking, "Since that's how it is, I'll just let it be and not force it." He felt a sense of relief.

Just then, he felt a sudden coolness, and a dark cloud drifted in, instantly turning the ground into a layer of grayish-black ink. Just as he was enjoying the refreshing coolness, a torrential downpour began. Ouyang Yiming had nowhere to hide on the mountain path and was left to be soaked. In an instant, he was completely drenched. In just two or three minutes, the cloud drifted away, and the blazing sun reappeared. Ouyang Yiming touched his face and head, looked at his soaked clothes, and shook his head with a wry smile, thinking, "If I had left the temple a few minutes later, I wouldn't be soaked like a drowned rat now." He suddenly thought, "Perhaps this is fate!" He considered going back to dry his clothes before returning, but then thought that drying them under the scorching sun wouldn't take long. So he rode his bike down the mountain again.

Halfway through the journey, my thin clothes had dried completely. Entering the city, I saw it was still early and slowly continued riding. Looking down the street, I suddenly saw a post office branch with signs for telegrams and long-distance calls, and I immediately thought of Liu Yan. I stopped, pushed my bicycle up the steps, locked it at the door, reached into my pocket, pulled out two damp ten-yuan bills, chuckled to myself, and went inside.

I paid the twenty-yuan deposit at the counter and, as instructed by the clerk, went into long-distance call booth number two.

My heart started pounding after I dialed the number, and a moment later, Liu Yan's voice came through. As soon as Ouyang Yiming said "Hello," Liu Yan's urgent voice came through the receiver: "Ouyang, is that you?" Ouyang Yiming had intended to make a joke, but hearing Liu Yan's anxious voice, he said, "Liu Yan, it's me." There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. Ouyang Yiming said "Hello" twice but didn't hear a response. A little anxious, he asked, "Liu Yan, why aren't you saying anything?"

At this moment, Liu Yan's sobbing voice came through the receiver. Ouyang Yiming's heart clenched instantly, and he asked in a panic, "Liu Yan, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" The sound of Liu Yan sobbing continued to come through the receiver.

Ouyang Yiming suddenly felt a sense of foreboding. His heart pounded in his throat, and he anxiously asked, "Liu Yan, why are you crying? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Liu Yan's sobs subsided a little on the other end of the line. She said, "No, nothing's wrong. I just... I just miss you so much." Ouyang Yiming's heart eased, but it was still pounding. He asked, "Really nothing's wrong?" Liu Yan said, "No, I just miss you. Why haven't you called me for so many days? I... I thought... I thought you didn't want me anymore."

Ouyang Yiming chuckled and said, "Your crying is enough to scare anyone to death. I thought something had happened to you." Liu Yan said, "These past few days I've almost lost control of myself. I... I really regret transferring back now." Ouyang Yiming asked, "How could you have such thoughts? Wasn't it better to transfer back? You were already a director." Liu Yan said, "But I... but I can't see you. Without you, I feel like nothing is meaningful. I really regret transferring back now, I regret..." Liu Yan's sobs came through the receiver again. Ouyang Yiming said, "Look at you, you said I was like a child, look at you now." Liu Yan asked, "Why haven't you called me?" Ouyang Yiming said, "Something happened at home these past few days." Instantly, Liu Yan's anxious question came through the receiver: "What happened?" Ouyang Yiming's eyes reddened, and he said sorrowfully, "My grandmother passed away. So, so I haven't been able to call you." Liu Yan asked, "How could this happen? Did she get some kind of sudden illness?" Ouyang Yiming said, "No." Then he recounted the events that led to his grandmother's fall from the mountain and subsequent death. She broke down in tears at the end.

Liu Yan listened quietly and then said, "Ouyang, I misunderstood you, I'm sorry. It's very sad that an elderly person has passed away, you must take care of yourself." Ouyang Yiming controlled his emotions and said, "It's okay, I'm fine. I'm much better these past two days. My grandmother also passed away so suddenly, so..." Liu Yan said, "I understand. You didn't tell me about Grandma's passing, otherwise, I should have gone too." Ouyang Yiming was startled again, suddenly thinking of Xu Hui. A great sense of guilt towards Liu Yan welled up in his heart. He said, "It's not good to tell you when you're so far away. Besides, we're not married yet..." Liu Yan said, "Silly girl, what's the difference between us now and we're married? Okay, let's not talk about this, it'll only make you sad." Ouyang Yiming

hummed in agreement and then asked, "How have you been lately?"

Liu Yan's mind went blank on the other end of the phone, thinking about being raped by Zhang Lei, and she instantly felt as guilty as if she were facing Ouyang Yiming, unable to speak. Ouyang Yiming said something else, but Liu Yan didn't pay attention and just said, "I'm fine. I just miss you." Ouyang Yiming said, "I miss you too." Liu Yan couldn't help but shed tears again, saying, "Ouyang, to be honest, I really regret transferring back. There's nothing I can do now. If I had another chance, I definitely wouldn't transfer back." Ouyang Yiming said, "I'm starting to get used to it now, and you're still thinking like this. Less than a year will pass quickly." Liu Yan said, "I just hope you graduate soon and come to my side. I was so happy a few days ago..." "I wanted your phone number, but I couldn't call you. Those few days I really wanted you to come to my place. I wanted to see you." Ouyang Yiming hesitated before saying, "Isn't it less than a year? Then we'll be together every day." Liu Yan paused and said, "Hearing your voice now is much better. It's just that the past few days I was so eager to see you. I almost broke down." Ouyang Yiming said, "I'll call you often from now on." Liu Yan said, "You don't need to call often. Phone calls are expensive. Just think of me. I... I'm afraid, I'm afraid you won't want me anymore." She cried again as she spoke.

At this moment, she was in a state of extreme anxiety because of losing her virginity to Zhang Lei. She felt she had let Ouyang Yiming down terribly. She worried that if he found out, he would despise her and really leave her, abandoning her.

Ouyang Yiming said, "You must not think nonsense anymore. How could I not want you? You are my dearest, do you know how important you are in my heart? I don't want to hear you say such things again. Listen to me, don't think about it anymore." Liu Yan cried and said, "I won't say that again. I will listen to you." Ouyang Yiming smiled and said, "That's good." Liu Yan said, "I feel at ease when I hear you say that. Okay, hang up. Remember to think of me." Ouyang Yiming said, "Thinking of you is involuntary." Liu Yan said, "Take care of yourself, remember to take good care of your body." Ouyang Yiming said, "You too." After saying goodbye, the two hung up the phone. Love and Desire

(86)

Chapter 84

Ouyang Yiming and Liu Yan were on the phone at the time when Liu Yan's mother was talking to Zhang Lei's mother about Zhang Lei raping Liu Yan. After Director Qin left, Minister Jiang paced back and forth in his office with his hands behind his back. This high-ranking official's wife, and herself a prominent municipal cadre, was furious that her good-for-nothing son had committed such a despicable act. She also felt ashamed of her subservience in front of Director Qin, even though he hadn't said anything to her. This woman, who was always so privileged and respected, still felt deeply humiliated.

However, she was impressed by Director Qin's magnanimity and thoughtfulness. She doubted she could have remained so calm in his shoes.

Several times, she considered calling Zhang Lei's parents, but ultimately refrained. She wasn't worried about how Zhang Lei would be punished by his father, but rather about what Zhang Lei's father might do to his son that would damage her daughter's reputation. She also worried about the possible outbursts her husband, who doted on Liu Yan, might have when he returned from a meeting and found out. She believed both her husband and Zhang Lei's father might do something rash to Zhang Lei, and she feared this would become the subject of gossip. At that time, her once-prosperous family would be greatly diminished.

She pondered how to handle the situation. She was extremely unwilling to suffer in silence; yet, she feared the consequences of confronting Zhang Lei. Should she just let it go? This humiliation, if left unaddressed, would fester in her heart for a lifetime.

The wealthy lady paced back and forth in the living room, her brow furrowed in these complex thoughts. As her emotions gradually calmed, she thought to herself, no matter what, the fact remained that Zhang Lei and Liu Yan had done this. What could she do, no matter how angry she was? Could she sue Zhang Lei? As Liu Yan said, if this got out, how could she ever face anyone? How could she maintain her position in the military compound? How could she and her husband, working in logistics, face anyone? This incident truly put this lady in a difficult position. Her husband and Zhang Lei's father were old comrades-in-arms, having gone through thick and thin together for many years, and their relationship had always been very good. What kind of terrifying reaction would the two old men have if they found out? While there's nothing that can be done to Zhang Lei right now (and after thinking it over, there's nothing I can do anyway), it's still important for his family to know. Although I know I can't let his two fathers know, it's essential to talk to his mother. Otherwise, if Zhang Lei continues to act as if nothing happened, and people find out, Liu Yan and our family's reputation will be ruined. What prestige will we have left if people start gossiping behind our backs? It doesn't matter much that Zhang Lei is a boy, but if Liu Yan is talked about because of this, it will affect her entire life. Finally, I decided to go see Zhang Lei's mother tomorrow, not to confront her, but to talk to her gently about it, as long as Zhang Lei doesn't tell anyone.

The following afternoon, Liu Yan's mother went to Zhang Lei's mother's office. Minister Jiang was quite surprised by Liu Yan's mother's arrival and hurriedly stood up to greet her, saying, "Director Qin, what brings you here this time?" He then went to pour her some water. Director Qin said, "Don't bother, I need to tell you something before I leave." Minister Jiang still poured the water and handed it to her, asking, "Did you just happen to be passing by or did you come specifically?" Director Qin said, "I came specifically. I was planning to visit you tonight, but I thought it wouldn't be appropriate to discuss it at your place, so I came here instead. I hope it doesn't interfere with your work." Minister Jiang said, "Little Qin, why are you being so polite all of a sudden? Is there something you need to discuss?" Director Qin took a sip of water, put down the cup, sighed, and said, "Minister Jiang, I didn't originally intend to come to you about this, but..." Minister Jiang asked, "What?" "What's wrong? Why is it so hard to talk about?" Director Qin's eyes reddened. "Minister Jiang, please don't be angry after I tell you. I didn't come here for any other reason. But I can't keep this from you." Minister Jiang's face darkened, looking somewhat nervous. "What is it?" he asked. Director Qin said, "It's about our two families' children." Minister Jiang frowned. "The children? You mean…" Director Qin said, "It's about Zhang Lei. The night before last, Zhang Lei raped Yanzi." Yes, this was something that absolutely could not be known to the fathers of either family. She understood Liu Yan's father, and she understood her husband even better. She believed that after learning that his daughter had been raped by Zhang Lei, Liu Yan's father would do something that terrified her. Before her demobilization, this woman had worked with Liu Yan's father in logistics for many years. She knew his temperament well; like her husband, he was a man who had come from the battlefield, and his character was extremely strong. Even if her husband was only one rank higher, or even a higher-ranking officer, he would stand by his opinion without fear, as long as he believed it was right. It was precisely this character that her husband admired. Her husband also shared a similar personality with Liu Yan's father, and the two men had maintained a good relationship over the years. She could imagine that when her husband learned that Zhang Lei had raped her friend's daughter, he would also punish his own son without hesitation. Thinking of this, she felt a chill and lingering fear.

Minister Jiang, still angry and agitated, pondered for a long time before gradually calming down and dialing Zhang Lei's office. Although his tone was calm when speaking to his son, the authority in his voice was enough to intimidate Zhang Lei. She told her son to go home immediately, saying that no matter how important the matter, he had to put it aside and return right away.

After being driven home by his driver, Minister Jiang found Zhang Lei already there. She handed her briefcase to her orderly and calmly said to her son, who looked confused and fearful, "Go to your room, I have something to tell you." Zhang Lei stood up from the sofa and followed his mother upstairs. Standing still in the room, Zhang Lei looked timidly at his mother, only to see her angry face. He called out "Mom," but before he could ask what was wrong, his mother's eyes widened in fury, and she slapped him hard across the face. Zhang Lei raised his hand to touch his burning cheek, staring at his mother in shock, speechless.

Minister Jiang said sternly, "What a mess you've made!" Zhang Lei mumbled "I...I..." Minister Jiang, her finger trembling, pointed at him and said, "Are you courting death?"

Tears streamed down her face as she took two steps to sit down in the chair in front of the table. Wiping her tears, she looked up at her son and asked, "Tell me, why did you do this?" Zhang Lei already understood that his mother's actions today stemmed from Liu Yan. But he wasn't sure, so he stammered, "Mom...wh...what happened?" Minister Jiang sneered, "You don't know what you did? Are you playing dumb? Tell me everything else!" Although Zhang Lei knew the truth, he still wasn't certain and stammered softly, "I...I..."

Minister Jiang glared angrily and slammed her hand on the table. Zhang Lei trembled in fear.

Minister Jiang pointed at Zhang Lei indignantly and said, "Their mother has already come to my office, and you're still pretending! What a glorious thing! This is because they've considered everything carefully; otherwise, if they came to your house and your father found out, he might just pull out a gun and shoot you."

Zhang Lei was completely certain it was about Liu Yan. His heart trembled, and he stammered, "Mom, this...you absolutely mustn't let Dad know about this." Minister Jiang snorted and said:

"Now you're scared? Let me tell you, if your dad finds out, even if he doesn't execute you, he'll send you to the field army. You believe your dad will do that." Zhang Lei looked at Minister Jiang with pleading eyes, trembling, and said, "Mom, I believe you. I don't want to go to the field army. Mom, please, please don't let Dad find out." Minister Jiang said, "Right now, neither Minister Liu nor your father knows. But if Minister Liu knew, would he let you off the hook?!" Zhang Lei asked in alarm, "Was it... was it Liu Yan's mother who went to find you?" Minister Jiang said, "You still want her father to come to me? With Minister Liu's temper, if he knew, he wouldn't come to me; he'd come to you with a gun."

Zhang Lei felt a chill run down his spine.

Minister Jiang sighed heavily and said, "You're really reckless! How could you bully Liu Yan? Didn't you think about the consequences? It's Liu Yan's mother who thought things through. If it were any other woman, would she have handled this so calmly? Minister Liu happened to be at a meeting at the General Logistics Department and wasn't home. Liu Yan's mother was thinking of you, afraid your father would find out and not let you off the hook. Otherwise, why wouldn't she come to our house to talk to your father and me about this? What would your father do to you if he knew? She's only doing this because of your father and me. Otherwise, you would have been arrested by the Military Affairs Department by now. They're not planning to do anything to you because of your father and me, but..." Where do you think your father and I are now? You know your father's temper. You know about your father's private relationship with Minister Liu. Just imagine what your father would do if he found out—the consequences would be unimaginable! Just now, Liu Yan's mother came to my office to talk about this, and I wanted to disappear into the ground. It's so embarrassing! I've really lost face this time. When have I ever been so shameful? I had to grovel and apologize in front of her, all because of you, you good-for-nothing. You've made me lose face too; how am I supposed to face people now? You…you…” She couldn't stop sobbing.

Zhang Lei glanced at his mother, not daring to utter a sound, feeling waves of guilt.

After a moment, Minister Jiang stopped crying and said, “Tell me, how could you possibly have feelings for Liu Yan?” Zhang Lei thought to himself, he couldn't reveal that this was a carefully planned scheme, and he certainly couldn't mention the pornographic video. So he said, “I genuinely like Liu Yan.” Minister Jiang was taken aback, suddenly realizing the question. Since Liu Yan's mother came to see her, she had been furious about her son's foolish act and hadn't considered whether he liked Liu Yan. But now, hearing what her son said, a thought struck her. Liu Yan was beautiful and perfectly suited to her son. She hadn't seen Liu Yan since she enlisted while she was serving in another province, and had always thought of her as a child. She'd only met her once before when she visited, and had never considered the possibility of a marriage between the two families. The two families were of similar social standing, a perfect match. It would be the best outcome if Zhang Lei could marry Liu Yan into the family.

Even disregarding Zhang Lei's feelings, just considering Liu Yan herself was a perfect ending. Even if the two old men from both families knew what had happened, they wouldn't say anything.

But still, she said irritably, "If you like her, you can tell her, propose to her, why would you think of using such despicable means?" Zhang Lei blushed and said, "I, I just acted on impulse at the time." Minister Jiang said, "But do you know what the consequences of your impulse will be? Do you know that it will damage your image in Liu Yan and her mother's eyes?" She pointed at him and said, "You're really stupid!" She withdrew her arm, thought for a moment, and asked, "Did Liu Yan ever have any feelings for you before?" Zhang Lei frowned and said, "I can't tell, she seemed to treat me quite well on the surface." Suddenly remembering what Liu Yan had said yesterday about "wanting to be with you," he quickly added, "Maybe she did have feelings for me."

Minister Jiang pointed at Zhang Lei again and said, "Foolish!" She shook her head and said, "Think about it, is Liu Yan from an ordinary family? She's a well-mannered person."

"So, she has some feelings for you, but she wouldn't express them to you without fully understanding you? You can imagine, in a family like ours, how could we let a girl into our home without thoroughly understanding her family background and character? Besides, Liu Yan is a girl. With her family's status, who could she easily confess her feelings to? Girls aren't like you boys. Liu Yan has her own thoughts; she wouldn't easily confess to anyone. I know many girls want to marry into our family, but Liu Yan doesn't care much. Her family's status isn't much different from ours. You've really put yourself in a passive position. Now, Liu Yan probably won't have any feelings for you anymore."

Zhang Lei said with a pained expression, "I really regret it. I drank a little that day. But, Mom, I really like her. I've never cared about any girl like this in all these years." It's not just that she's beautiful, nor is it because of her family status. She's unlike any other girl I've ever met. She's upright, virtuous, generous, capable, and without any affectation or airs of superiority. She's good in every way. I've inquired about her, and she's never talked about anything inappropriate with any man. I genuinely want to marry her. But after all this time, I still can't figure out her true feelings for me."

Minister Jiang said, "That's just a girl's reserve. She's thoughtful. You shouldn't care so much about her easily revealing anything to you. Although I haven't met Liu Yan much, I can tell from her parents what kind of person she is. Why don't you talk to me about your thoughts? Perhaps a discussion between us elders would be helpful. I never thought about your problem with her before." Zhang Lei said, "I always thought I could handle it. In fact, if I had been more patient, maybe I could have. Now I really regret it."

Minister Jiang thought for a moment and said, "In that case, it seems only I can handle it." Zhang Lei asked doubtfully, "You? You're going to find Liu Yan?" "Minister Jiang said, 'I'm considering talking to Liu Yan's mother. Since this happened between you two, marriage would be the best outcome. I think Director Qin will also care about this issue. What I'm worried about now is how Liu Yan will view you. The way you treated her this time, I think your image in her eyes will plummet, and she might not accept you anymore. You've acted so stupidly, now everything is very passive. Originally, if you had told me about this, Director Qin could have worked on Liu Yan, and Liu Yan still wouldn't have any bad feelings towards you, maybe this would have worked out. Now it's Director Qin who needs to consider Liu Yan's feelings more and work on her, but if Liu Yan loses her goodwill towards you, there's nothing you can do. It's all your own fault for being so thoughtless.' Zhang Lei shook his head and said, 'It's too late for me to regret it now, Mom, you have to help me.'

Minister Jiang suddenly seemed to remember something and asked, 'Can you confirm that Liu Yan doesn't have a boyfriend?' Zhang Lei said, 'I can confirm that, I've inquired and paid attention. Liu Yan has never had any contact with men.'" Minister Jiang asked, "How old is Liu Yan?" Zhang Lei replied, "I'm five years older than her; she's twenty-three this year. Mom, she won't mind that I'm too old, will she?" Minister Jiang said, "Such an age difference shouldn't be a problem."

Minister Jiang thought for a moment, then sighed and said, "Well, I'll swallow my pride and talk to Director Qin tomorrow, but I doubt the chances are very high." Zhang Lei said, "I have to try, no matter what.

I really like Liu Yan."

Minister Jiang lowered his head and pondered for a long time before raising his head and saying, "I've considered this: tomorrow you'll come with me to Liu Yan's mother's office." Zhang Lei jumped in surprise and asked, "Me? I'm going to see Liu Yan's mother?" Minister Jiang glared at him and said, "What's wrong with that? Are you afraid to see her after doing something like this? Can you avoid her for the rest of your life? Whether it works out or not, you have to face it. Just admit your mistake to Director Qin; with my reputation, she won't say anything." "If you say something sincere, like you lost your temper because you were drunk, maybe people will forgive you. It'll also make you seem sensible, and it'll make me seem like I acted appropriately. If Liu Yan's mother doesn't dislike you too much, she might be willing to talk to her daughter. If even she dislikes you, then there's no hope for you and Liu Yan. Isn't that why you care so much about Liu Yan? Even so, you have to bite the bullet and go see Director Qin."

Zhang Lei's brows slowly relaxed as he listened to his mother's words. But he was still timid and guilty about meeting Liu Yan's mother. He said, "Mom, I don't really know what to do right now. Just do as you say." Minister Jiang said, "That's the only way now, otherwise we don't have any better ideas. Even if you don't go to see Director Qin with me, this matter can't just end like this. We can't just let her mother say something and then act like nothing happened. Wouldn't she think I'm unreasonable? Whether you and Liu Yan get together or not, you have to go see Liu Yan's mother. That way, you'll sincerely apologize. It will make her feel better." Besides, it's conceivable that Liu Yan's mother will be very concerned about her daughter's situation. She might try to persuade Liu Yan to befriend you; I think that's possible. After you come with me, apologize, I'll scold you a bit, and then you can come back. I'll talk to Director Qin about the rest later.” Zhang Lei nodded and said, “Mom, I'll listen to you.”

Minister Jiang stood up, pointed to his forehead, and said sarcastically, “You really can drive people crazy.” After thinking for a moment, he said, “I have a meeting tomorrow morning, I'll go in the afternoon. I'll contact Director Qin after the meeting.” Zhang Lei nodded in agreement.

The following afternoon, Zhang Lei and his mother went to Liu Yan's house. Director Qin was somewhat surprised by Zhang Lei's arrival. When Minister Jiang called her that morning, he didn't mention Zhang Lei, only saying that he needed to talk to her about something that afternoon. Director Qin had said on the phone that as long as Zhang Lei was properly informed, there was no need to say anything more. The relationship between the two families was there, and as long as it didn't get out, it would be fine. Minister Jiang said he had some other things to discuss with her. Director Qin thought it wouldn't be convenient to discuss these things in the office, as Liu Yan was at work, her husband was away on a business trip, and there was no one else at home, so she arranged to meet Minister Jiang at his house.

Director Qin was still angry when she saw Zhang Lei, but she didn't show it on her face. Minister Jiang said, "Director Qin, today I've brought this beast to apologize to you."

After saying that, he glared at his son and said sternly, "Kneel down before your Aunt Qin!" Zhang Lei tried to kneel down, but Director Qin hurriedly helped him up, saying, "There's no need." Turning to Minister Jiang, she said, "Minister Jiang, this... there's no need! It's enough that he knows he's wrong." "Minister Jiang said, 'I'm so angry at this beast. Only your Aunt Qin can be so magnanimous, treating you like her own child. No one else would treat you like this. Do you even have a human being? Yanzi is such a good child…' His eyes reddened as he spoke.

Zhang Lei, his face flushed, said, 'Aunt Qin, I'm not human. I did this on impulse after a couple of drinks. I'll let you and Uncle Liu deal with me as you see fit.' Director Qin said, 'Alright, that's enough.

Hurry up and get some water.' Minister Jiang said, 'Don't rush, just sit and talk. You're not thirsty.'

Zhang Lei and his mother sat down on the sofa. Director Qin poured two glasses of cold water and handed them to them. After sitting down, she said with tears in her eyes, 'Minister Jiang, please don't be angry anymore. Things are already like this, what's the point of saying anything? Leizi, your Uncle Liu and I treat you like our own child. How could you be so foolish? I dare not let your Uncle Liu and your father know about this, otherwise, how could things turn out well? Drink less alcohol in the future. What good does drinking too much do?'" " That's the end of it. Remember, you absolutely mustn't tell anyone, otherwise Liu Yan will be in a bad position, and your father and Uncle Liu won't let you off the hook either.

Remember, never do anything foolish again." Zhang Lei nodded and said, "Aunt Qin, I remember. I'm really regretting it now, and I feel so sorry for Yanzi. I don't know how I could have been so foolish. Please ask Yanzi to forgive me." Director Qin said, "I don't dare say anything to Liu Yan right now. You can talk to her about it later. You really hurt her badly this time. Okay, that's enough. What can we do when our two families have this kind of relationship?" Minister Jiang said, "You're not a child anymore. You need to think twice before you act. You need to be more mindful in the future." Zhang Lei nodded repeatedly. Minister Jiang said, "Get out of here. I'll talk to your Aunt Qin for a bit. It's making your Aunt Qin and me angry to see you here."

Zhang Lei stood up, blushing, and glanced at Director Qin, saying, "Aunt Qin, I'm leaving now." "Director Qin said, 'Alright, don't feel too guilty when you go back. Remember, you absolutely mustn't tell anyone. It would be terrible if your father and Uncle Liu found out.' Zhang Lei said, 'Thank you, Aunt Qin.' Director Qin was about to see Zhang Lei off when Minister Jiang stopped her, saying, 'Don't see him off. Let him leave on his own.'"

After Zhang Lei left, Minister Jiang sighed and said, "I'm so angry about this." Director Qin said, "Don't be angry anymore. Let's consider this matter closed for today." Minister Jiang said, "I just feel so sorry for Yanzi from our family." Director Qin sighed and said, "Yanzi's emotions have been unstable these past two days; she hasn't eaten much. Try to comfort her slowly.

Yanzi isn't like other children; she takes this matter very seriously." Minister Jiang said, "Yanzi is a good girl. Many girls these days don't care about their chastity anymore, unlike us when we were young. It's thanks to your good upbringing." Director Qin said, "This girl joined the army at fifteen and hasn't had the chance to experience many things in society. It's good that she has this attitude; otherwise, her indifference to such matters would be even more worrying." Minister Jiang said, "Yes, she's a good girl. Meeting that beast Lei is her misfortune." Director Qin said, "Now that it's happened, let's not talk about it anymore." "It's no use saying anything more. Zhang Lei did this in a drunken stupor, and he seems quite regretful. My concern is how these two girls will face each other after this relationship."

Minister Jiang said, "I brought Zhang Lei here today, firstly to apologize, and secondly to ask you for a favor." Director Qin said, "Let's not use the word 'ask,' it sounds too formal." Minister Jiang said, "Yesterday I hit and scolded Zhang Lei. Later, I thought that since these two girls have done such a thing, there will be a rift between them in the future.

I asked Zhang Lei why he would do such a thing to Yanzi, and Zhang Lei said he truly loves Yanzi. I think that if something like this happens to Zhang Lei and Yanzi, it would be best if they could get together; that would be the perfect ending. I just don't know if what Zhang Lei did will affect your opinion of him." Director

Qin's heart brightened upon hearing this, and she thought to herself, why didn't I think of this yesterday? Thinking it over carefully, she still thought Liu Yan was just a child, while Zhang Lei was about the same age as Liu Yan's brother, though Zhang Lei always seemed much older than Liu Yan, and she had never considered that possibility. Now that Zhang Lei's mother brought it up, she thought to herself that given the relationship and status of the two families, it was a good match. If the two children could marry, there would be no more worries about Liu Yan being exposed for losing her virginity to Zhang Lei.

This thought filled her with excitement, but then she thought, judging from her daughter's expression, Liu Yan probably had no feelings for Zhang Lei; otherwise, she wouldn't have been so heartbroken after being raped by him.

Perhaps her daughter simply didn't like Zhang Lei. She knew her daughter was incredibly beautiful and had a very high standard, so she might not find Zhang Lei attractive. So she thought about Zhang Lei's appearance.

Although Zhang Lei wasn't tall and handsome, he was still considered above average in appearance, and his manners were quite proper. Although he had done something disgraceful, it might have just been a momentary impulse. Sometimes, such impulses are uncontrollable for young people. Perhaps Zhang Lei had long harbored feelings for Liu Yan. She believed her daughter would attract many men. But would Liu Yan accept Zhang Lei?

Director Qin said, "Minister Jiang, your idea is excellent; I hadn't considered these things. If it could be like this, it would be the best outcome. If Liu Yan and Zhang Lei could be together, she wouldn't be haunted by this situation, and they would be living together in the future. Otherwise, no matter who Liu Yan marries, Zhang Lei will always have a grudge." Minister Jiang said, "That's exactly what I was thinking. Besides, considering the relationship between our two families, their marriage would be a double blessing."

Director Qin frowned and said, "That's certainly good. But I don't know if Liu Yan will agree. This time, Zhang Lei has deeply hurt Yanzi. I'm worried about whether Liu Yan can still accept Zhang Lei."

Minister Jiang said, "I heard from Zhang Lei that the two girls had frequent contact before this incident, and their feelings for each other were quite good. Zhang Lei is sincere." He likes Yanzi, and he can sense that Yanzi treats him well, but the two have never talked about it, so he doesn't know what Yanzi thinks. Zhang Lei is also worried that Liu Yan might mind that he's five years older than her, but I think that's probably not a big problem. Yanzi definitely has some negative feelings towards Zhang Lei now. If you can accept Leizi, could you try to talk to Yanzi about it?"

Director Qin said, "Actually, I've always had a good impression of Zhang Lei. He's a smart and ambitious kid, quite good. I don't have any objections, the key is Yanzi. Think about it, these days, which grandparent can handle everything for their grandchildren? I can try to talk to Yanzi, but it's hard to say whether it will work out." Minister Jiang said, "Just don't hold a grudge against Zhang Lei. As for whether Yanzi will resent Zhang Lei, that depends on your guidance and explaining things to her." "Chu, if Yanzi truly has no feelings for Zhang Lei, this matter can't be forced. Even if Zhang Lei and I were to propose to your Liu family today, whether it succeeds or not depends entirely on the fate of these two children." Director Qin said, "Alright, I'll give it a try. I can talk to them, I can do the work, but whether it succeeds or not depends entirely on their fate."

Minister Jiang said, "Only you can talk to Yanzi; no one else can help you. You'll have to put in a lot of effort. To be honest, I also really like Yanzi. It would be a blessing for me and Old Zhang to marry into our Zhang family." Director Qin said, "Actually, I also quite like Leizi. I've watched him grow up since he was little, and I know him well. It's just that he handled things terribly this time." Minister Jiang said, "That's right. Aunt Qin, you have no idea how angry I was. I was so angry when I saw him yesterday..." I wish I could eat him alive. I feel so sorry for Yanzi. Sigh, as long as Yanzi agrees to marry Zhang Lei, I'll feel a little better. Otherwise, this will be a lifelong worry for me.

Director Qin nodded and said, "This is the best outcome. I need to find a suitable opportunity to talk to Liu Yan. She's been in a bad mood these past few days, and I'm afraid that if I rush into it now, it will backfire." Minister Jiang said, "Don't rush this matter. Just wait for the right time to talk to Yanzi. Explain some things to Yanzi, and I think she will understand. I heard from Zhang Lei that they were very good together before this happened. This time, Zhang Lei was confused and did this stupid thing. Maybe Yanzi will forgive him." Director Qin said, "I hope so."

Love and Desire (87)

Chapter 85

Wu Min was to invite Liu Yan to dinner on the day she received the notice to go to the training team. Liu Yan felt annoyed at the mention of dinner. She glanced at Wu Min, smiled, and said, "No need. I haven't been feeling well these past few days, and I don't want to go anywhere."

Wu Min had noticed that Liu Yan was indeed listless and had lost a lot of weight, and felt guilty towards her. She said, "Director Liu, I've also noticed you haven't been looking well these past few days. Are you sick? You should go to the hospital for a checkup." Liu Yan said, "I'll go get checked when I have time." Wu Min said, "You'll be busy while I'm gone. You need to take care of yourself."

Her eyes even reddened as she spoke, still feeling guilty towards Liu Yan.

Liu Yan was touched by her expression and said, "Wang Jingjing is already doing a great job with your previous work, and I can't be that busy. I don't have much to say about you joining the training team. Actually, we're about the same age. I just hope you develop well and everything goes smoothly."

Hearing this, Wu Min burst into tears. She felt ashamed for having acted as Zhang Lei's accomplice, and these tears were for Liu Yan's concern and for her own guilt towards Liu Yan.

She said, "Without your help, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'll still have to rely on you in the future. After graduation, you'd better be able to get me here so I can be with you." Liu Yan then thought of Zhang Lei again, thinking, "Isn't all of this thanks to Zhang Lei's abilities?" Thinking of Zhang Lei, she felt a surge of anger. But her face remained calm as she said, "We'll see then. I also hope we can work together in the future."

That evening, Wu Min ate dinner with Zhang Lei, and afterwards went to his place. After a passionate encounter, Wu Min thought of Liu Yan and couldn't help but feel guilty, saying, "I've noticed Liu Yan has lost a lot of weight these past few days. I really feel sorry for her." Zhang Lei also felt guilty and said, "I regret it now too. I didn't expect Liu Yan to care so much."

Wu Min thought, "How could Liu Yan be like me? In your eyes, I'm just a dog. I'll do anything for a bite to eat, but without that food, I might starve to death." Thinking this, her heart ached, and tears welled up in her eyes.

Zhang Lei assumed Wu Min was upset because she felt guilty towards Liu Yan, and said, "Since it's already done, it's too late to regret it now. It all depends on whether Liu Yan's mother can persuade Liu Yan. If you can really marry Liu Yan, everything will be fine." Wu Min had heard about this from Zhang Lei the day before yesterday, and said, "If you two can really get married, I'll feel less guilty. Otherwise, I really don't know how to face Liu Yan in the future. But no matter what happens between you two, you absolutely mustn't tell anyone about me. I only felt these past two days that Liu Yan no longer suspected me." Zhang Lei said, "I don't have that kind of brain. If she finds out, it won't be as good as it is for me. Don't worry, she'll never know."

A few days later, Director Qin saw that Liu Yan's spirits had improved somewhat. Thinking that her husband would soon return from the meeting, and fearing he might find out if Liu Yan showed any signs of change, she decided to talk to Liu Yan about it before her husband arrived to see her attitude.

That evening, after dinner, the mother and daughter showered and sat in the living room watching TV. Director Qin said, "Yanzi, there are some things I still want to talk to you about." Liu Yan knew her mother definitely wanted to bring up Zhang Lei again

, and her heart sank. She said, "Mom, I don't want to mention this again." Director Qin sighed and said, "I don't want to mention it either, but can you really forget it?" Liu Yan's heart sank even further, and she couldn't help but feel sad. She said, "I'll never forget it, but what can I do now?" Director Qin looked at Liu Yan for a moment and said, "Yanzi, tell me the truth, did you ever have feelings for a boy before?"

Liu Yan was startled. She thought of Ouyang Yiming and wanted to tell her mother. But then she thought, given her current feelings, how could she possibly explain her thoughts clearly? She said, "Mom, even if I had a boyfriend, he wouldn't be like Zhang Lei." Director Qin asked, "Then what kind of boy do you have in mind?" Liu Yan said, "Definitely not a beast like Zhang Lei." Director Qin sighed and said, "I've thought about it too. Maybe Zhang Lei didn't do it on purpose. Young people make mistakes in a moment of impulse, and he'll regret it." Liu Yan said, "He regrets it? Maybe he's smug about it right now." Director Qin said, "To be honest, Zhang Lei came to our house to apologize on the third day after your incident. I think Zhang Lei is also very regretful; he's quite pitiful."

Liu Yan stared at her mother. "How come I've never heard you mention this?" Liu Yan asked. Director Qin said, "Seeing you like this these past few days, how could I dare tell you? His mother came the other day, and she apologized to me all afternoon. She was very sincere. Given the relationship between our two families, what can we do to them? If it were anyone else, would I have let them off so easily?" Liu Yan said, "What sincere attitude? If it weren't for your and Dad's relationship with their family, I would have reported them long ago." Director Qin said, "Isn't that right? Both our families are respectable; if this gets out, it will be incredibly embarrassing." Liu Yan then burst into tears.

Director Qin said, "Zhang Lei told me the other day that he truly loves you." Liu Yan trembled and said, "I would never marry that beast, not even if it meant my entire life." Director Qin said, "Let me finish. Zhang Lei's mother also likes you very much. The point we made is that since this has already happened between you and Zhang Lei, marriage would be the best outcome. Otherwise, no matter who you marry in the future, you'll always have a knot in your heart." Liu Yan stood up abruptly and said, "Mom, I understand what you mean. I've made myself clear today; no matter what happens in the future, I will not marry Zhang Lei."

Director Qin pulled her back down to sit and said, "Don't be so agitated. I didn't say you absolutely had to marry Zhang Lei. Now we need to think about this calmly." Liu Yan sat down and said, "No matter how I think about it, I can't accept him." Director Qin said, "Have you considered that you can hide something like this for a lifetime? Men sometimes..." "A few drinks later, and who knows, it might get out. It might not be a year or two, but I can say for sure, it will definitely get out eventually. If you marry someone else then, and it gets back to your husband, have you thought about what will happen? With a family like ours and your character, you wouldn't marry a good-for-nothing. What man with even a little ability wouldn't care about this? Men can forgive women for everything, but not this. Even if the relationship is good and they don't mind now, they'll hold a grudge for life, and the woman will feel indebted to her husband forever. I've seen too much of this in my life; very few women are happy about this. I was thinking, Zhang Lei's family and our family are a good match, and Zhang Lei isn't much older than you. If you two..." Liu Yan felt a chill run down her spine, her whole body trembling. She jumped up again and said, "Mom, don't say anything more." Then, tears streaming down her face, she ran upstairs.

Director Qin sat on the sofa for a moment, thinking that since this matter had been brought up, it needed to be made clear. Liu Yan's unusual emotions were understandable. Tell her what happened and let her weigh it herself; maybe she'll slowly change her mind. So she went upstairs.
Pushing open Liu Yan's door, she saw Liu Yan lying on the bed crying. Her heart ached, and she stood there blankly for a moment, then sighed, walked to the chair at the table, and sat down. Looking at her daughter, whose crying had subsided, she said, "What I just said is the truth. These are things we have to consider. You're emotional right now, so think about it slowly later. As your mother, I only want what's best for you. Zhang Lei's family isn't ordinary; many people would envy you for marrying into their family. Zhang Lei was just confused for a moment, he lost control after drinking, but he's not a bad person at heart. Besides, he genuinely cares about you. If you don't even want to marry into a family like that, what kind of family would you want?" "You can come in," Liu Yan sobbed. "I've never cared about his family. I want to marry someone I love. I don't like him, I have no feelings for him. You want me to live with him like that? I'd rather not marry him at all." Director Qin said, "Feelings can be cultivated. When I married your father, I didn't know him either; it was an introduction from the organization. Zhang Lei's mother was the same. Haven't we been very happy all these years? Haven't your father and I been very loving?

Besides, you haven't been in a relationship yet, haven't you met someone you have feelings for?"
Liu Yan thought to herself, now is the time to tell everyone about her relationship with Ouyang Yiming. She sat up abruptly, looked at her mother, and said, "Mom, I was thinking of telling you about this later, but I'll tell you everything now." Director Qin was surprised and asked, "You mean you're in a relationship?" Liu Yan nodded and said, "I originally planned to tell you and Dad after I came back, but Ouyang said to wait until he's about to graduate, so I listened to him." Director Qin stared at Liu Yan and asked, "Ouyang? Where is he from? Is he still in school? In university?" Liu Yan said, "Mom, listen to me. Ouyang is still in university and will graduate next year. He's a very outstanding young man. I've never been attracted to anyone else in my life, only him. Now I really regret not telling you sooner. If I had made my relationship with Ouyang public earlier, perhaps Zhang Lei wouldn't have happened. To be honest, Ouyang and I were worried that you wouldn't approve of our relationship. I was also feeling guilty, and so was Ouyang."

Director Qin widened her eyes and looked at Liu Yan, saying, "Then tell me more about Ouyang. Where is he from? What are his specific details? " "What is it about him that you admire so much? And why are you worried that your father and I won't approve of you two?" Liu Yan said, "Ouyang Yiming is worried that you'll consider social status when choosing a partner. He's never been in contact with families like ours, and he imagines our family to be unattainable. To be honest, I pursued him. He didn't know our family's social standing at first. It was only after we'd been dating for a long time that I told him about our family situation, and he was very worried then. He's a very refined and knowledgeable young man. I trust my eyes; the person I admire is never wrong." As she spoke, she stood up and said, "I'll show you his picture." She squatted down, pulled out a suitcase from under the bed, opened it, and took out a stack of photos of Ouyang Yiming alone and himself with her, handing them to her mother, saying, "This is him."

Director Qin looked at his daughter, took the photos, and looked at Ouyang Yiming in the pictures, secretly admiring him. He was indeed a very handsome and refined young man, and in terms of appearance, he was certainly a perfect match for Liu Yan.

Such a handsome son-in-law would certainly be admired by his future mother-in-law. However, aside from seeing this person in a photograph, she knew nothing about her.

Such a woman with rich experience certainly wouldn't make any judgments based solely on a photo. Looking at the group photo, she raised her head, frowned, and asked Liu Yan, "You've all taken a group photo?"

When Liu Yan handed the photos to her mother, she felt both excited and apprehensive. She thought that when her mother saw Ouyang Yiming's picture, she would definitely be pleased with his appearance first.

But her anxiety stemmed from the family situation she had worried about countless times before.

Liu Yan said, "I asked Ouyang Yiming to take this photo with me before I came."

Director Qin flipped through the photos one by one, then placed them on the table, her face expressionless. Looking at Liu Yan, she asked, "How long have you been dating?" Liu Yan said, "It's been about a year now, not long after I went home for a visit last year." Director Qin said, "Tell me about him." So Liu Yan recounted how Ouyang Yiming studied at a prestigious university in Jinling, his situation at school, and how he had been hospitalized in her ward.

Director Qin remained silent, watching her daughter narrate her story, sometimes looking down, sometimes up. "Why didn't you tell me about his family situation?" asked Director Qin. Liu Yan replied, "His family is very ordinary. Both his parents are middle school teachers." Director Qin said, "Oh," and then asked, "Have you considered what will happen in the future, given how far apart you are?" Liu Yan said, "That's exactly what I'm asking you and Dad for. I want you to help him come here after he graduates from university." Director Qin frowned and said, "His future placement is determined by the university. We're so far from Jinling, how can we possibly get him here?" Liu Yan said, "I've thought about that. I also asked Ouyang Yiming, and nowadays, university graduates can choose their placement based on their own wishes. If he requests to come here after graduation, the university will consider his options. What I mean is, can you help him find a good job here?"

Director Qin thought for a moment and said, "Do his parents know? Are they willing for him to come here?" Liu Yan said, "We haven't planned to tell our families about this yet. If it weren't for Zhang Lei... I was planning to tell you and Dad later, because I was afraid it would affect his studies." "I'm worried that his parents, being intellectuals, might look down on my education, and that they might also value our family too much, just like him."

Director Qin shook his head and said softly, "What intellectuals? He's just a middle school teacher, not a university professor." Liu Yan was startled and looked up at her mother, saying, "But his parents are both university graduates." Director Qin said impatiently, "Let's not talk about that. Can you be sure that Ouyang isn't doing this for our family?"

Liu Yan said, "I know Ouyang. He would never be greedy for our family. He has said this many times, and even considered that you and Dad might have such thoughts. He is academically excellent, he has his own abilities, and he said he doesn't want to rely on anyone." Director Qin said, "If he comes here, shouldn't we arrange a good job for him?"

Liu Yan's heart was heavy. Of course, she hoped that her mother would accept and appreciate Ouyang Yiming after seeing his photo and hearing her introduction, but seeing her mother's expression and hearing her words, she was worried. She said, "The reason I wanted to transfer back was because I consulted him several times. You know, I told you before that I was considering transferring back, and I was actually working on Ouyang. Later, I said that my brother wasn't around to be with you, and I wanted to transfer back to be with you, which he understood. He was just worried that you and Dad wouldn't approve of his family. I told him that you and Dad are very open-minded people, and you both came from ordinary families, and he believed me. Actually, I told him that I was also worried about whether you and Dad could accept him, so I didn't tell you. I wanted to wait until he was about to graduate before telling you about me and him. I never expected this to happen. After

this happened, I... I just feel so sorry for Ouyang Yiming."

Director Qin had been listening quietly, his face expressionless. He then said, "Then tell me, after Ouyang Yiming found out about you and Zhang Lei, can he forgive you? Can he accept this reality?"

Liu Yan thought for a moment, then covered her face and sobbed. She cried and said, "I don't know, I don't know, I'm so angry with Zhang Lei now." Suddenly she stopped crying, raised her tearful eyes and looked at her mother and said, "No, Ouyang won't know, he won't know." Director Qin shook his head and stared into Liu Yan's eyes and said, "Do you think he will never know about this? If one day he finds out and can't forgive this, or even if you get married and have children and he finds out about this, won't he have feelings for you? Won't this affect your relationship? I just said downstairs that men can forgive women for everything, but they can't forgive this. Even if you didn't do this willingly, he won't blame you, but the knot in his heart will never be removed. Aren't you worried that this will affect your future life? Aren't you worried that she will despise you because of this?"

Liu Yan's heart was pounding, trembling, and filled with fear... Love and Desire (88) Chapter 86 Liu Yan looked at her mother blankly, somewhat desperate. She looked at her mother with pleading eyes and said, "Mom, what should I do? What should I do? I can't let Ouyang know about this. I know he won't blame me if he finds out, but it will be a fatal blow to him. I'm so afraid he..." She couldn't finish her sentence. Her panic was at its peak. She worried that Ouyang Yiming would silently despise her if he found out, and she couldn't bring herself to say the words she feared most.

After hearing Liu Yan's introduction, Director Qin hadn't liked Ouyang Yiming's family. In her mind, she was comparing Ouyang Yiming's family to Zhang Lei's. Actually, there was no need to think too much about this. Ouyang Yiming's family and Zhang Lei's family were clearly worlds apart. If, after Zhang Lei's mother talked to her about Liu Yan and Zhang Lei's marriage, she was still considering Liu Yan's reputation and trying to persuade her daughter to marry Zhang Lei, then... So, upon learning that Liu Yan was in love with a boy from a family far removed from her own, and that she was rejecting Zhang Lei for what she perceived as a naive and innocent love, her immediate thought was to stop it by any means necessary. She couldn't possibly let her daughter give up a high-ranking cadre's family like Zhang Lei's to marry into an ordinary middle school teacher's family. She now thought the events between Zhang Lei and Liu Yan were timely. She wanted to use this to make Liu Yan unknowingly, willingly, and helplessly submit.

Although Liu Yan repeatedly said that Ouyang Yiming didn't covet her family, this woman believed in her heart that Ouyang Yiming was largely doing it for her family. She thought, how many people wouldn't be tempted by a family like hers? Otherwise, why would Ouyang Yiming be willing to come here with Liu Yan and have this family arrange a good job for him? She knew in her heart that she couldn't say these things to Liu Yan. Liu Yan now completely believes that Ouyang Yiming has no designs on her family. She thinks the only way to deal with this is to strike at Liu Yan's weakness, which is her fear that Ouyang Yiming will find out about Zhang Lei and her affair. Therefore, this is the best strategy.

Seeing her daughter's worried and fearful expression, Director Qin felt much more at ease. He said, “Liu Yan, this is something you need to seriously consider, otherwise it could affect your entire life. This Ouyang Yiming is a good man. Although I haven't met him, I've only heard about him from your introduction, so I know a little about him. Ouyang Yiming is quite a character; I can tell just by the fact that he doesn't care about our family. But have you thought about it? The more a man like that is, the more he cares about this kind of thing. If he were doing it for our family, that would be fine; he wouldn't care about your mistakes because he has other motives. But now it's the opposite. Ouyang Yiming doesn't care about our family; he likes you, so he'll value you as a person, and he'll definitely care about this. As you said, this kind of blow would be fatal for a man like that. I don't know what to do right now; this is very difficult to handle. I'm terrified just thinking about it. What if he finds out about this later, when you have children and your family is living happily? How will your lives continue?”

Liu Yan was panicked and confused. She was completely at a loss, her mind a jumbled mess. Looking at her mother, she said, "He won't know, he won't..." Director Qin said, "I told you downstairs, this kind of thing can't be hidden forever. Thinking like that is just deceiving yourself." Liu Yan thought for a moment, then looked up and asked her mother, "Mom, what do you think we should do?" Director Qin shook her head and said, "I don't know what to do." Liu Yan felt a sense of despair. A moment later, anger rose within her, and she gritted her teeth and said, "Then I'll report Zhang Lei, I won't let him get away with it."

Director Qin was startled and asked, "Do you think that will solve the problem? Do you think you can do anything to Zhang Lei? His family isn't an ordinary family. And, without considering his family, do you think your father and I can afford to be disgraced like that? Our family isn't ordinary either, and your father isn't an ordinary person. Don't you consider how your father and I will face people if you do this?" Suddenly, the woman thought of another problem... This was an even more fatal problem for Liu Yan, so she said, "You say Zhang Lei raped you, but who can prove he did? And how can you prove you weren't willing? Of course, no one can prove such things. But what puzzles me is, if a man didn't use force against you, how could you let him succeed? I'm going to say everything now; I'm your mother, and I'm saying this for your sake. I dare say you might have been willing at the time, half-heartedly resisting." Although Director Qin's words were a threat and warning to Liu Yan, they were also true. She stared intently at Liu Yan's face.

Liu Yan's face flushed red, she felt a chill, her whole body began to tremble, and she lowered her head, remaining silent. The scene with Zhang Lei flashed through her mind, and she thought, "Wasn't I willing at the time?" She immediately tried to deny it, but that was only a reaction triggered by watching those videos. How was she going to explain this to her mother now? After a while, Liu Yan finally spoke, "What did Zhang Lei say to you when he came to our house?"

Director Qin now vaguely knew that Liu Yan had probably only half-heartedly complied at the time, and that her sadness and unease stemmed from feeling guilty towards Ouyang Yiming afterwards. Director Qin continued, "Zhang Lei didn't say anything. But his expression seemed off; I couldn't quite decipher it. Now that I think about it, he probably told Minister Jiang about the details of what happened.

Liu Yan, now that things have come to this, I hope you can tell me the details of what happened so we can analyze it and come up with some solutions. I'm your mother; you don't need to hide anything from me."

Liu Yan thought for a moment, then lowered her head and recounted the details of that day. She spoke forcefully, but her heart was heavy, saying, "But it was all because I saw the video. I didn't want to. He... he... he forced me." Director Qin now had a clear understanding of the situation. Although she hadn't seen that kind of video, she had heard of pornography. She understood how a woman would react after seeing such footage. Sighing, she deliberately lied, saying, "Now I understand why Minister Jiang and Zhang Lei's expressions were a bit strange back then. They knew what was going on. You said you acted that way after watching the video, but did Zhang Lei force you to watch it? They could have easily said that. You watched it yourself."

Liu Yan said, "But now I still suspect it was Zhang Lei's conspiracy." Director Qin said, "Can you be sure? Suspicion is useless. I'm getting more and more worried about this. What if Zhang Lei or Minister Jiang spreads these facts? How will we shut them up? They can say anything. Ignoring the impact on our family, just for this reason alone, we absolutely cannot even think about suing Zhang Lei. You need to think this through. Their family isn't an ordinary family, and besides, your actual situation at the time was like this. You must think this through seriously and not act impulsively."

Liu Yan was now somewhat desperate. She sat on the edge of the bed like a clay statue, her eyes blank. After a while, as if remembering something, she looked up at her mother with a glimmer of hope in her eyes and said, "Mom, if you and Dad don't mind Ouyang Yiming's family, can I go with him to another city to live? That way, no one will know about this."

Director Qin was startled. She stared at Liu Yan for a while, then sighed and said, "You need to think this through. Even if we don't consider your father and me after we retire, just for you, to be honest, we're not comfortable with you. Another crucial issue is that Zhang Lei likes you; he told me himself. Who can guarantee that even if you move to another city, Zhang Lei won't let Ouyang know? You probably know better than I do that young people are capable of anything for so-called love. Minister Jiang told me that Zhang Lei has only ever been interested in you all these years; he won't marry anyone but you. With such intentions, can you guarantee he won't do anything rash?" She paused and said, "Just because of that, I'm not comfortable with you leaving us to live elsewhere. We certainly aren't comfortable with you either." "We can get Ouyang to come here and marry you. Yanzi, think about it. I'm saying this not only for you, but also for Ouyang. If you two get married, what if Ouyang finds out about you someday? He's living here far from his family. How painful will it be for him? Will he have a good life with you? Wouldn't that be putting Ouyang in a difficult position? We're even more worried about you two living alone in another city. Even if you go to live with him, what if Ouyang finds out about you and starts to dislike you? You'll be alone in another city, without his warmth. How can we feel at ease with you? Besides, what will his parents think of you if they find out about you and Zhang Lei? Will they have a good opinion of you? He's a very outstanding young man. What kind of girl can't he find? He shouldn't have to suffer the pain you've caused him, right? So, considering all aspects, you must break off your relationship with Ouyang now. It's better for both of you."

Liu Yan was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Staring blankly at her mother, she said desperately, "So, I have no way out. I only have death as my only option?" Thinking of death, Liu Yan truly contemplated suicide. She thought that only in this way could she and Ouyang Yiming avoid suffering. Only in this way could she be free from all pain.

Director Qin's heart trembled. She felt flustered but still said, "Yanzi, we need to consider practical matters now. Don't think about extreme ideas. I'm your mother, and I only want what's best for you.

Yanzi, saying there's only death as your only option is wrong. You also need to consider that a person doesn't live just for themselves. Even if you're heartbroken, have you considered your father, your brother, and me? If you're gone, even if you're free, what will happen to us? Will your father and I live? Our family will collapse. Besides, even if we all die, won't people talk about you later?" Liu Yan shook her head, then suddenly shouted hoarsely, "Then tell me what I should do? What should I do? I…" She suddenly raised her hand and slapped herself across the face. Director Qin was startled and hurriedly stood up, hugging her daughter tightly. "Yanzi, what are you doing? We're analyzing this, aren't we?" Liu Yan sobbed in her mother's arms, "Mom, I have nowhere to go, nowhere, nowhere to go! I don't know why I... I was shameless, a shameless woman, a shameless bad woman... Now, now all the paths are blocked for me, I want to die, I really want to die."

Director Qin felt a pang of sorrow. For a moment, she couldn't bear to deceive and advise her daughter like this, to hurt her with such words. However, she couldn't let her daughter abandon a family like Zhang Lei's and marry into a family like Ouyang Yiming's, a family with no status. She thought to herself, she was doing this for her daughter, for her daughter's lifelong happiness. But seeing her daughter like this, her heart was bleeding. She stroked Liu Yan's head with trembling hands and said, "Yanzi, it's okay to cry. Crying for a while will make you feel better." Liu Yan looked up at her mother with a pitiful expression, her face contorted with tears, and asked, "Mom, is there...is there really no way?" Director Qin shook her head and said, "I can't think of any way. Yanzi, cry now, we'll talk about it when you've calmed down." Liu Yan stopped crying instantly, tears streaming down her face, and said, "What...what else is there to say?"

Now I understand. I only have one path to take, and that is to willingly marry Zhang Lei. Minister Qin remained silent, knowing in her heart that her words tonight had had a good effect. But she also understood that it was impossible to get Liu Yan to quickly give up Ouyang Yiming and accept Zhang Lei. She said, "Yanzi, you need to seriously consider these things yourself. Although I am your mother, I can only offer my advice on marriage." Seeing that Liu Yan had stopped crying, she released her and sat back down in her chair, saying, "We need to face reality. You also need to understand that Zhang Lei is not a bad kid; he is excellent in many ways. He has things that Ouyang may not have. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Not considering Zhang Lei's family background, just looking at Zhang Lei as an individual, my personal opinion is that he is a good match for you. The key is that you have already had a relationship. Considering his family, your life will be worlds apart from living with Ouyang, so..."

Liu Yan interrupted her mother, saying, "Mom, don't say anymore. I would rather never marry than marry Zhang Lei." Director Qin

completely understood Liu Yan's feelings when she said those words. She knew that getting Liu Yan to accept Zhang Lei would require a slow process and meticulous ideological work. She said,

"Yanzi, I'm just sharing my opinion for your consideration." Liu Yan, tears streaming down her face, said, "Don't say anymore. I don't want to hear anything more now." Director Qin paused for a moment, then said, "Alright, I won't say anything more. You're in your twenties now, and you have your own way of thinking. However, you should still consider some of the older generation's perspectives." Liu Yan

stared blankly at the ground. At that moment, Ouyang Yiming's image was so clear in her mind. She seemed to suddenly see Ouyang Yiming's reproachful eyes, his disdainful eyes, and it seemed to confirm everything her mother had just said. She collapsed, her spirit completely broken. Suddenly, she trembled as if struck by lightning, or startled by something. Her lifeless eyes looked at the photos on the table. She reached out with trembling hands and took them, tears streaming down her face. Silently, slowly, with trembling hands, she turned the pages one by one, examining each one so carefully… Director Qin felt a chill at that moment. Just now, if… She had just tried to provoke her daughter into submission, and now she regretted her harsh words. Liu Yan's abnormal behavior terrified her. She wanted Liu Yan to cry, not to weep silently like this. Such silent tears only occur in helplessness and despair.

The room was utterly silent, save for the faint sounds of Liu Yan turning the photos, and every time Director Qin heard these sounds, it felt like a knife stabbing her heart. Finally, she couldn't bear it any longer. She wanted to say something, but her trembling lips remained silent. After a moment, she stood up, snatched the photos from Liu Yan's hand, put them back on the table, and stared at Liu Yan with frightened eyes, saying, "Yanzi, what are you doing? If you want to cry, just cry. You're scaring your mother." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. Liu Yan stared blankly at her mother, her eyes unmoving. Director Qin couldn't bear Liu Yan's gaze; she felt a chill run through her body. She stood up and pulled her daughter into her arms, crying, "Yanzi, cry, just cry it out." A hand gently patted Liu Yan's back... Soothed by her mother, Liu Yan finally cried out, "Ouyang Yiming, I'm so sorry!" A burst of heart-wrenching sobs erupted, tears streaming down her face... After what seemed like an eternity, Liu Yan buried her face in her mother's arms, weeping. Her voice was hoarse, and her tears gradually thinned. Her wailing turned into sobs. She finally stopped crying, stopped weeping, and released her mother. She felt a little better; the heavy weight that had been pressing on her heart was released, and her mind slowly cleared. She pondered every word her mother had said, and she couldn't help but agree with her mother's words. Was she really going to lose Ouyang Yiming and accept Zhang Lei? No, she couldn't accept it, not even in death!

Liu Yan looked up at her mother, who was deep in thought, and asked with a frown, "Mom, is there really no way?" "

Director Qin, having already calmed down after Liu Yan's tears, sensed that she had largely regained her composure. Hearing Liu Yan's question, he looked up and said, 'Yanzi, let's not think about this anymore. Let's talk about it later, okay?' Liu Yan shook her head and said, 'Mom, how can I not think about it? How can I not think about it?' Director Qin sighed and said, 'Yanzi, to be honest, one must believe in fate. Although I'm a high-ranking officer in the military, and I shouldn't say such things, I can't remain silent in front of you. How one lives, what kind of life one enjoys, and who one lives with are all things that cannot be changed. You must believe! When I was your age, I didn't believe in fate, but in these decades of life, what I've experienced, seen, and heard has made it impossible for you not to believe. Some things happen that you can't imagine, but when they do, there must be a reason. Think about it, everything seems preordained; otherwise, how could things happen so naturally? I believe it's all arranged by Heaven. Think about your situation with Zhang Lei; isn't that exactly what happened?'" " You were watching that video alone, and Wu Min happened to be going out to change the paper, and Zhang Lei came back at that time. It's not a coincidence, it's fate."

Liu Yan lowered her head and said suspiciously, "I've thought about this repeatedly, and I still suspect that Zhang Lei and Wu Min set this up together."

Director Qin was startled, thinking that it wasn't impossible. But she couldn't follow Liu Yan's line of thought. She said, "These are all your guesses. I believe Zhang Lei wouldn't be that stupid. Since he likes you and wants to marry you, he should know that he only wants your heart, not just your body once. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked his mother to propose to you after what happened. He genuinely wants to marry you. Think about it, he's not young anymore, wouldn't he have considered this? Even if he were stupid, he wouldn't want to get you this way. Doesn't he know that this would hurt a woman's heart? In my opinion, he saw you watching the video, and because he had been drinking that night, he acted impulsively in a moment of excitement." She paused and said, "Liu Yan, we can't avoid any questions now. Can you say you didn't have any impulses at the time?" "Didn't you think that way? I'm a woman too, and I've been your age. I know what's going on. Liu Yan, I can say with certainty that you were willing at the time, you can't deny that."

Liu Yan blushed, her head bowed, her heart pounding. She felt incredibly ashamed.

Director Qin said, "That's precisely why Zhang Lei must have felt sorry for you. I believe Zhang Lei will tell his mother what you did. Now, you say he raped you, but you were willing at the time. How can you convince people? Of course, I understand your actions at the time; I'm a woman too. You're not young anymore, and having these needs is perfectly normal. But how will people understand? If you don't marry Zhang Lei in the future, and these details get out, what will people think of you? If you really marry Ouyang, Zhang Lei might retaliate because he likes you, telling Ouyang these details of what happened that day. Would Ouyang accept that?" "I dare say even if Zhang Lei had actually raped you, Ouyang wouldn't forgive you. Given the circumstances, Ouyang certainly wouldn't have accepted it."

"As for how Zhang Lei treats you, and whether he's worthy of your affection, I don't think you'd completely categorize him as a bad person. There's no doubt he genuinely likes you.

And one last thing, if you marry into his family, you can imagine what kind of life you'll have. Of course, this is just casual conversation. As a mother, of course, I want my child to have a very good life. You know your sister-in-law's parents are both high-ranking officials. In a family like ours, if you married into an ordinary family, some people would laugh at your lowly fate. Of course, I'd have those thoughts too, but I will absolutely respect your choice. But the situation is what it is now; you can't ignore it."

"Of course, I know Zhang Lei isn't as handsome as Ouyang. I might say something you don't like to hear, but can good looks put food on the table? Can good looks bring you everything the Zhang Lei family has? You and Ouyang could never achieve even with a lifetime of hard work, but you'll get it immediately after marrying into the Zhang Lei family. You can't ignore this. Zhang Lei isn't ugly, you could say he's quite good-looking. As a woman, it's already great to marry a man who loves you, has some ability, and comes from a good family. Besides, their family's circumstances are something many girls aspire to. I believe Zhang Lei will love you very much. You two together can be quite presentable. I believe Zhang Lei can find girls prettier than you. Aren't all the girls in the dance troupe like fairies? Zhang Lei isn't just attracted to your looks; perhaps you're destined for each other, that's undeniable."

Liu Yan said, "But can I accept Zhang Lei? " "It's simply impossible," Director Qin said. "That's perfectly reasonable. No one can immediately accept breaking up with someone they love to start a relationship with another man. Take your time to consider it." Liu Yan said, "Then I'll just have to not get married." Director Qin shook her head and said, "Yanzi, you're saying this now, but you'll know later that it's absolutely unworkable. Do you think not getting married will stop people from talking? And another thing, just from a physiological perspective, women also have strong needs. You can't overcome that hurdle alone. I won't say much more. Think carefully about what I'm saying. I'm only doing this for your own good. Just try to understand how I feel."

As she spoke, she hugged Liu Yan and gently patted her head, saying, "Think about it seriously. Be realistic. Think about whether what I'm saying makes sense. I believe you'll be very thoughtful." After saying this, she released Liu Yan, glanced at her a few times, and turned to leave. She knew that now it was up to Liu Yan to consider these issues herself. Saying anything more was pointless.

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