That thing

Having nothing to do in my spare time, I unfortunately wandered in. Wandering around, I learned quite a bit about romance. Now past thirty, I thought I'd already finished planting my seeds and was ready to retire...! Some of the entries were quite refreshing. Surprisingly, some people like big penises! I, however, suffer greatly because mine is so big. I remember in junior high, a dozen or so classmates were having a penis-comparison contest, and I won first place—the smallest in the world but the biggest! From then on, I was labeled a pervert. The funny thing is, one time after school, I needed to pee. Looking around and seeing no one, I took it out to relieve myself. Because it was so swollen, I couldn't get it out. Just as I pulled down my pants, a female classmate came up behind me. She saw me, cried, and ran away. I thought it was nothing... but who knew... That female classmate was sick for three days. Her dad came to ask for leave, saying he'd been frightened by something. From then on, I knew I had a source of trouble, but it kept growing and expanding. I was still so short. There was nothing I could do but avoid looking, afraid of accidentally tearing my clothes and exposing myself. I lived in constant fear! Everyone else was getting married and having children, but I was worrying about this thing. Later, a girl actually took a liking to me—she's now my wife. She came to my house and wanted to sleep with me for the first time. I thought, "Oh no, I'm completely exposed!" Luckily, I have excellent self-control. I lay next to her, hands and feet together, not daring to breathe. She asked me if I was afraid of her, but I jumped out and said I wasn't. My wife touched it, and it... Head held high / Wow / So big / Are you scared? / Try it / How do I try? I don't know the way / Just as I was looking for the way / But I foamed at the mouth and went limp / Fortunately, it stood up again in a few minutes, with the heroic spirit of returning to the battlefield / Slow down, slower / She kept saying / But I don't understand / Rushing in headfirst, I squeezed in / Oh no / She didn't scream in anger / But cried tears of pain / Afterwards, she never dared to sleep with me again / When asked why / You're too big, I can't take it / It's so painful / It's so painful / Until our wedding, I did whatever she said and never dared to do it again / After marriage, I didn't worry about this / Struggling on the brink of death every day for the sake of life / Occasionally once or twice, although it's said to be long enough to pluck the heart / But Daring to speak loudly / Afraid of startling the person beneath me / Kicking her out of the small hill / Sometimes, when she's unhappy, she throws out several hundred yuan to find someone else / Let's see who can stand you / It's so bitter / So unbearable because this thing is so big, it torments my body and mind / Fortunately, as I get older / My body atrophies / But even a skinny camel is bigger than a horse / It's still brave but reckless / She still says it's big / Last night I found a big one online for her to see / She insisted it was just my boredom / But she turned completely red when she saw it...; As the poem says / Last night was a beautiful night / The room was filled with the fragrance of spring / A night of warbling / Joyful and comfortable / Comrades! Last night we were liberated / Never before have we been so indulgent / Here I thank 69 Paradise / That unbearable thing finally had a purpose!

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That thing

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