Thoughts and confusions on page 69

I've been on 69 for almost two years now, mostly reading other people's posts. I believe most people's experiences on 69 are real. From imagination, longing, rejection, to success. Although the time it takes for each friend on 69 to go through this process varies, seeing everyone take each step forward fills me with indescribable envy, excitement, and yearning. I often wonder when I'll be able to reach that point myself? Maybe soon, maybe not! I really don't know! I
've never posted anything before, so let me introduce myself first. We're a married couple, married for six years. However, my wife and I met quite early, before we were even 20, and we were basically together from then on. We were each other's first time, and I love my wife very much, even now. I remember about five or six years ago, one night after she went to sleep, I opened her QQ on the computer and casually looked at her chat history. I found that a stranger had been chatting with my wife for about half a month. The content wasn't much, but it was all very ambiguous. I was furious! I ignored her for two days, and later I took screenshots of their chat history and made a large desktop wallpaper. That's when my wife found out why I'd been ignoring her for days. Although there wasn't much actual content, at that time I hadn't experienced 69 yet; I'd only heard of swapping, so I couldn't accept it. Looking back now, it seems ridiculous. I don't know when I started wanting my wife to try it too. I wanted to see how she would react to other, strange men seeing her naked body,
touching her, or even penetrating her, whether she would experience something different from mine, perhaps even a higher level of excitement.
From the first time until now, she's gone from not refusing to actively cooperating, from not watching porn to watching it every time we have sex, from refusing oral sex to actively doing it, to now showing her face on the balcony. Every breakthrough surprises and excites me! There was also a video leak, but it happened during a business trip. Since I started experiencing 69, when we have sex, I sometimes say, "How about I find someone else to have sex with you?" She doesn't answer, I don't know if she's agreeing or refusing. We often watch 3P and 4P videos. I feel like getting to this point wasn't difficult, but the next step is a real hurdle, and I don't know what to do. I usually read articles by friends on 69 (a Chinese social networking site), and they have a lot of solutions, but when it comes to my own situation, I'm completely lost! I hope experienced friends can give me some advice! Thank you. I hope to communicate with you all.
Oh, and another thing. She doesn't know I use 69, even though I've saved it in my browser; she can see the shortcut whenever she goes online. Also, I haven't formally talked to her about 3P or swapping. However, around April or May of this year, one time she came home from work and asked me what 3P was. I asked if I knew what 3P was, so I explained it to her in detail and asked where she learned about it from conversations with colleagues. She said she learned it from colleagues. I was still thinking about what topic could lead to 3P. Another time, one weekend morning, just after I got up, she asked me, "If we had a group of married friends, who would you be willing to swap with?" I was completely baffled when I heard this. Why did I suddenly think of asking this question? I felt a little guilty and didn't dare to answer directly, so I just said, "I wouldn't trade her for anyone. I don't want to let other people play with my wife." But honestly, among our mutual friends who are married, there really isn't anyone who can meet my requirements.
This is my first post on 69.com. I hope some friends can leave me a message or add me on QQ. I'll also upload a few photos. Thank you!

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Thoughts and confusions on page 69

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