Lost and confused

How does an ordinary person end up on the path of ***? It seems abnormal, yet it feels somewhat natural. Everything seems impossible, but everything also seems so natural. Slowly, unintentionally, the idea arises, and then slowly, unintentionally, it succeeds. Perhaps at times you will feel guilty, or perhaps you will become uncontrollable.
Marital discord often arises due to family, career, and other reasons; it is often the man who tries to find a solution. A usually reserved person might seek stimulation through various DVDs and online movies; if that doesn't work, they might go further and look for various sex toys, or try to make their partner imagine they are having sex with someone else to increase the fun and excitement. Over time, the idea of turning that fantasy into reality develops. The idea of *** slowly forms.
My partner and I have been very disharmonious for the past two years. Her busy work schedule has caused her to lose interest in intimacy. After work, she just wants to rest, and she rarely has the urge to have sex, perhaps once a month. Every time, it takes me a lot of effort and persuasion to finally succeed, and halfway through, she'll often suddenly ask, "Are you done yet?" Ugh! I've tried to get her to think of me as someone else, but she doesn't seem very interested. Only once, the only time I made her cry, was when she was genuinely moved. That was the only time I succeeded. I've also mentioned switching partners a few times, but all I got was a scolding. At my age, I usually have to solve everything myself. Luckily, I have a pair of hardworking hands. I miss
the days when I was working, buying groceries and cooking after work, and spending sweet evenings together—every day was so harmonious and wonderful. Now, all those days are gone. Late at night, I often think, what is life for? More money, less happiness. Is it worth it?

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Lost and confused

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