My Story with My Wife, Part 24

At this point, some might question: "Aren't you portraying yourself as too noble? It's understandable to always consider your wife's feelings, but to also consider her lover's feelings seems a bit far-fetched."
Hold on, let me explain. Regarding Xiao C, rather than saying I'm considering his feelings, it's ultimately for our own sake. I want to ensure I hold the upper hand in this game. However, if Xiao C becomes too deeply involved and can't extricate himself, it could ultimately harm my wife and even jeopardize our family, which I absolutely cannot allow.
The next morning, looking at the sunlight streaming through the window, I suddenly regretted it. To be honest, I haven't reached a state of complete selflessness yet; I need more time to consider this. Thinking about it now, it's frightening. Thankfully, I didn't let the ambiguous atmosphere of the previous night cloud my judgment and hastily agree to my wife's request.
In the following days, my wife didn't mention it again, and neither did I. However, a hidden impulse lingered within me, and many times I almost agreed to my wife's request. One evening, I casually asked my wife, "Do you really want to go to Mount Emei?"
Without hesitation, she replied readily, "I really don't want to anymore. I just mentioned it casually the other day, don't take it to heart."
I said, "Actually, I don't know what I'm thinking either. From your perspective, I really want you to go, but this matter makes me very uneasy. To be honest, I still can't bear to leave you."
My wife leaned in and hugged my arm, saying, "Honey, I understand. I went too far. Please don't take it to heart, or I'll feel terrible."
I kissed my wife, "Sweetie, don't blame me."
My wife playfully pinched my nose, "Alright, what's there to explain? I know it's because you care about me. I've said it many times, I went too far."
I stared blankly at the white wall opposite me, hesitant to speak. After a long while, my wife leaned on my shoulder and said softly, "Honey, was I too demanding?"
I hugged her, "Don't talk nonsense, it's not that serious."
That night, lying in bed, I couldn't sleep again. Re-examining my wife's desire to travel alone with her lover, I feel increasingly uneasy. I keep asking myself: Have I really spoiled my wife too much? The situation has unfolded as follows: First, my wife only had a crush on C, but with my encouragement and planning, they had a physical relationship. At this point, my wife was either refusing or half-heartedly accepting. Second, I voluntarily left home, leaving the house to my wife and her lover, which she readily accepted. Third, when I was home, I continued to provide her with opportunities to secretly engage in such behavior, even with my knowledge. By this time, she was overjoyed.
And now? My wife has actually suggested a trip alone with her lover, escalating the excitement step by step. How is this any different from drug addiction? What will be the outcome? Will there be a result or no result? After experiencing increasingly intense stimulation, will she be able to return to her previous peaceful life?
I believe that when a person loves their partner to a certain degree, they can enter a state of complete selflessness. That's how I feel about my wife. I think, at least in China today, there aren't many men who can spoil their wives so unconditionally. However, although I'm certain I won't lose my wife, and although I'm certain this family won't fall apart, if my actions result in her becoming increasingly addicted, like a drug addict, wouldn't that not only harm her but also myself? ...

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My Story with My Wife, Part 24

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