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Blogger:shalu.1 2014-11-14

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A Past Journey—The Transformation of Sex and Love—Exposure 5 

That summer, I went to the only mental hospital in the province. I told the doctor, a woman around forty, about my most embarrassing secret. Even during my treatment, I still exposed myself, and even thought about exposing myself to my attending physician. With the combination of psychological counseling and medication, I gradually learned to control myself.
One day, I ran into Sister A as I was leaving the company to go to the hospital. "Where are you going, my little pervert?" Sister A teased me. I was about to go to the hospital. "What's wrong? Are you sick?" I replied, "I'm sick." "Wait a minute, I have some errands to run, I'll take you to the hospital later." "Don't go, wait for me." Sister A went into my cousin's office. I had no intention of waiting for her. I went out, hailed a taxi, and went to the mental hospital. "How have you been these past few days? Any changes?" "I have indeed changed. First, I'm showing less skin. Second, I feel like I can control myself. The most obvious change is that I don't want to go out anymore." "Doctor, I feel like the medication I'm taking might be affecting my libido." The doctor chuckled. "You're just being paranoid. The medication is just a sedative; it's nothing. It will disappear automatically after you stop taking it."
I was about to leave with a dirty thought in my mind when I stood at the desk, muttering to myself, "Is there anything else? Exercise more when you get home; exercise makes you happy." The doctor had one more thing to say. I asked, "These past few days, when I masturbate, I always fantasize that you are my sexual partner." Seeing that my doctor didn't know what to say, I quickly said, "I'm sorry, I won't think about you anymore. Please don't be angry." "You are my patient; I won't be angry with you," the doctor said in a very soft voice. "Your sexual fantasies can be about anyone, including me. This is a matter of personal privacy; you should keep it to yourself, understand?" "I understand, but I feel sorry for you." "You haven't wronged me, at least you haven't hurt me, there's no need to hold a grudge." I thought about those dirty scenes every time I masturbated.

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