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My Wife's Sexuality (Continued) 

A few days later, I had dinner with colleagues and drank a lot of alcohol. I called my wife to come with me. At that time, we weren't officially dating, just in a flirtatious relationship. That night, I finally forced myself on her. It was her first time. Although there was no blood, I knew it was her first time. Later, she told me that she had been injured before and her underwear and pants were stained red. I was on top of her, and she wouldn't let me touch her. I forcibly unbuttoned her pants, and she pulled hard on them with both hands, repeatedly saying, "Hey...hey...no...no...I'm scared...I'm scared." (It's been too long, so I don't remember clearly, but that's roughly it.) But eventually, she gave up resisting. Because I had masturbated frequently since childhood, I finished quickly. Later, I sobered up a bit, put on my clothes, said goodbye, and went home, leaving her alone. We didn't contact each other for about half a month. The main problem was that I didn't know how to face her. Maybe she felt that I hadn't taken responsibility for her. During this time, her colleague introduced her to a boyfriend.

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