I don't know how to take that step.

I'm 30, and I had a brief marriage. We met at a bar; it was my first time going to a place like that. I was with classmates, and they encouraged me to approach the women. That's how we met, and we quickly had an inappropriate relationship. Later, we found we got along quite well (I later realized this was just an initial impression). After we got married, she remained the same, going to nightclubs several times a week and not doing any housework. Gradually, we started arguing, and things cooled down. Eventually, we divorced.

Our sex life was initially harmonious, but her constant visits to nightclubs gave her a certain air of heavy makeup. I'm more family-oriented and prefer a more respectable appearance, so over time, I lost interest in her. I've found myself drawn to pure, reserved young women now. I don't know why, but I find family-oriented women more attractive. There are a few newlyweds near my house. Sometimes I see them and we just exchange greetings. They all go home on time, and sometimes I bump into them in the elevator. Because I'm decent-looking, they always smile at me, but when they get home, it's always empty. Sometimes I imagine myself like them, but I know they have happy families, and I can't have that.

Coming to 69 was really by chance. But a lot of things here require a membership, which I don't understand at all. However, I've seen some members' blogs, and they're really well-written. Reading them makes me imagine things and feel something. I wonder if I might join. I guess I'm a single man, not exactly well-endowed or skilled in bed, just looking for emotional connection. I'll learn from everyone and take it slow.

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I don't know how to take that step.

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