My illicit affair with my student and lover (Part 3)

I felt like I was back in the honeymoon phase. Every day at work, I'd find a spare moment to be intimate with Shan Shan. If I really wanted it, I'd lock the office door and have her kneel beside my chair and give me oral sex. Several times during oral sex, she'd receive calls from her boyfriend, and I'd signal her not to stop, continuing to lick while on the phone. At the time, I guessed her relationship with her boyfriend, Xiao Li, wouldn't last, but they actually did—but that's another story.
In the office, in the car, in hotels, I was indulging my desires, knowing they wouldn't last. I once asked Shan Shan how many men she'd been with, and she said four before me. She specifically emphasized that she never gave her current boyfriend oral sex, which I was skeptical of. Shan Shan's compliance fueled my desire. I demanded she not let her boyfriend ejaculate inside her, because I would lick her there. Actually, I didn't really mean it; I just felt uneasy not having her all to myself, so I was trying to find ways to add variety. Shan Shan readily agreed, even gradually becoming extremely cold towards her boyfriend. Shanshan didn't say it explicitly, but I knew she did it so that I could have her exclusively.
In a bloated, bureaucratic organization like any government agency, gossip about who's having an affair with a leader or who's dating whom is commonplace. Although Shanshan and I were unrestrained in the office, we were careful outside. I treated her no differently than any other subordinate, and she always addressed me respectfully as "Teacher Qi" in public and private. However, I saw a burden in Shanshan's eyes. An unmarried young woman entangled with a married leader—she must have been struggling internally. Sometimes Shanshan would suddenly say firmly, "You're not going to marry me anyway." It was both a rhetorical question and a warning. Yes, I couldn't marry Shanshan. What could she offer me besides her body? It was selfishness, but also reality. Faced with that beautiful face, I was speechless. Perhaps Shanshan truly loved me, at least for a time.
There was plenty of backstabbing and infighting in the workplace. I was a newly promoted mid-level manager, young yet in charge of the most important and largest department. There were plenty of rumors circulating, and it was impossible not to care. I was already considering changing jobs, just waiting for the right opportunity. The enthusiasm I had when I first entered the industry was now almost gone. Faced with an outdated system, low pay, and a bleak future, a sense of crisis often overwhelmed me in the middle of the night. That's when I realized that Shanshan couldn't offer me any emotional comfort. Na?ve and inexperienced, she wouldn't have the same understanding of the bleak world we were in. My wife was my only confidante then, and at the same time, I worried that one day she would find out about Shanshan's affair. And
what I feared most came to pass. One day, Shanshan and I had a passionate encounter at a hotel. Back home, still wanting more, we chatted on QQ, reminiscing about our embarrassing moments. My wife was looking at her iPad in the bedroom, and I hid in the bathroom. I completely forgot that QQ was still running on my phone and iPad, and my wife saw everything we had been chatting about. The wife who had been laughing and joking just moments before reappeared before me heartbroken. She forced me to tell her the truth about my affair with Shanshan, and finally, crying, she blurted out two words: "Divorce."
That night, my wife left home and went to a hotel. For the next ten days or so, she stayed at my best friend's house. I visited her a few times, but she was always cold and distant. My wife said she didn't resent Shanshan, but she hated me. My best friend's elderly father watched us and chuckled. Perhaps, to someone with experience, this wasn't a big deal.
My wife put immense pressure on me. Having grown up in a broken home, she didn't want my little family to go through the same thing again. I made up my mind to break up with Shanshan, though I was incredibly reluctant. That night in the car, we cried and kissed, tears streaming into our mouths, a mix of emotions. Shanshan wiped my tears, saying, "How can you cry? You can't cry." In Shanshan's mind, I was strong and powerful, incapable of even crying; she couldn't accept that image of me crumbling in front of her. In reality, I was fragile and sensitive, filled with insecurity and fear. Shanshan didn't understand me enough.
To make matters worse, just two days later, something even more dramatic happened. Shanshan's boyfriend, Xiao Li, found a chat history between Shanshan and me on her iPad at home. Although it wasn't explicit, it was enough to prove we had an intimate relationship. The young man caused a scene in front of Shanshan's parents and even hit Shanshan. When I heard this, my head was spinning; it would be a lie to say I wasn't worried. I knew my wife wouldn't cause a scene at her workplace, but who knew if Shanshan's boyfriend or her family would cause trouble? In a workplace like ours, where even trivial matters can be fabricated, it's unimaginable what the consequences would be if a family member really did cause a scene about a married employee's inappropriate relationship with a female subordinate.
Shanshan, on the other hand, remained much calmer. She told her parents that she had initiated the relationship with me. As for her boyfriend, Xiao Li, she said she had a way to deal with him. In the end, I don't know what methods she used, but everything calmed down. Xiao Li just kept a closer eye on her, calling her constantly, and Shanshan's attitude towards him changed. We all said we couldn't continue like this, but like an addiction, it's not so easy to quit.
My wife also found out about Shanshan's boyfriend. She believed that Shanshan's family would strictly control her, reducing our chances of continuing our lingering relationship. After my repeated apologies and my best friend's persuasion, my wife came home on the condition that I transfer Shanshan to another department and cut off all contact. I knew I didn't have that power, but I still readily agreed.
This ordeal made me re-evaluate my family. At that time, my wife and I had been married for almost five years, hadn't had children yet, and our careers were just starting. To outsiders, our life seemed respectable, but in reality, it was quite ordinary. My relationship with my wife was a coincidence, and our hasty marriage felt like a dream I'd accidentally had while dozing off. After marriage, I realized I didn't really love her that much; perhaps it was just that I was of marriageable age and had met someone who was just okay.
I truly discovered my wife's good qualities after going through several storms together. My wife is devoted to the family, understanding, and takes excellent care of me. Before marriage, she had no cooking skills, but after marriage, she developed excellent culinary skills. She also has a good appearance and stands out in a crowd. More importantly, my wife, a graduate of a prestigious 985 university, is very insightful in her work and career, and has given me a lot of guidance. So much so that after many years of living together, I increasingly feel that there is no woman more suitable to be my wife.
If I said that sex and love can be separated, I think most men wouldn't disagree. When heaven and earth created men and women as two higher animals, it predetermined the nature of men. The renowned scholar Ji Xianlin wrote in his diary when he was young: "I have no other hope in this life; I only hope to have many women and to have contact with women from all over the world." There are no saints in this world.

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My illicit affair with my student and lover (Part 3)

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