My once promiscuous wife is now celibate, but I can't break my old habits and only crave a cuckold's horns.

After years of relentless effort (literally years!), I finally satisfied my cuckoldry complex (actually, I'm somewhat close to a cuckold, craving humiliation when sexually aroused). The process was bittersweet; I wanted to give up countless times, missed opportunities repeatedly, only to try again, ultimately still wanting to be cuckolded.

After finally succeeding: there was passion, impulse, regret, emptiness, then passion and impulse again… There were also injuries (physically), and a marital crisis (my wife thought I was too depraved), which I resolved (I feel: actually, my wife also enjoys me playing the cuckold; she gets genuinely excited).

Later, we had a child (mine)

, but!! From pregnancy until now, my wife has rejected other men. I can understand her low libido and need for safe and hygienic practices during pregnancy and breastfeeding, but it's still like this now!

When I asked my wife, she said, "I won't do those kinds of games anymore, you promised." At the time, she was about six months pregnant. She said, "A classmate of mine contracted an STD and might not be able to have children. Luckily, I'm lucky. Thinking back to what you made me do, it's really scary. Sometimes we didn't use protection, and we didn't really know the people involved. Thankfully, nothing bad happened. Let's not play those kinds of games anymore." I replied, "Okay, whatever you say." I didn't think much of it at the time; it was an impulsive answer.

But I still crave it. Basically, I can only get aroused and erect when I think about cuckoldry or wife-cuckolding. Recalling those things is my main source of sexual pleasure. I've tried getting my wife to have sex with me while drunk, and I've invited Q (basically, a single man at the time) over for dinner, etc., but nothing worked.

Do I have to start all over again, spending years slowly convincing my wife? In short, I won't give up—not that I won't give up, but that I can't.

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My once promiscuous wife is now celibate, but I can't break my old habits and only crave a cuckold's horns.

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