Live up to your youth

Note: This account is shared by my husband and me. My posts will be marked "(Wife's Original)," and I will also reply to the comments below the posts. My husband's posts will be marked "(Husband's Original)."

Actually, this incident happened some time ago, and my husband knows about it. There was no volcanic eruption as I had imagined, nor was it the end of our marriage. Instead, we reflected on ourselves because of this incident. Thank you, husband, for the trust and freedom you gave me in this matter. You taught me a lot through this experience. You told me that feelings are like wine; the more you suppress them, the stronger they become. You told me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy!

You understand very well that although it wasn't a long-term relationship, I was deeply involved. People are always greedy and never satisfied; that's human nature, and you understand human nature better than I do. Yes, you understand human nature too well, you understand the confusion and chaos of the world too well, and you understand me too well. You know that even if you force me to suppress the fire in my heart, one day it will erupt like a volcano, and perhaps then it will be even harder to handle.

You always see through everything about me, just like you know our madness without even asking. You always told me that as long as I don't waste my youth, that's enough! It seems I haven't disappointed you this time!

Yes, youth is wonderful. Do you know how vibrant and energetic that boy riding on my back was? Do you know how much younger I felt when he poured all his energy into me? That's why I always wanted to absorb his vitality, his energy, not wanting to waste a single drop, as if it would give me a second chance at life.

In fact, I did feel young and energetic. I would voluntarily "work overtime" several days a week—in the car, in restaurants, hotels, outdoors, even in the office—where wasn't there our youthful sweat and vibrant energy? How many times were we almost shared with others in these passionate moments? How many times did his rudeness make me forget my surroundings? How many times did his vulgarity and insults allow me to experience primal indulgence? Have I succeeded?

And you? Were you ever young? Did you ever live up to my expectations? You said men live for responsibility, and without me, where would your responsibility lie?

I know that once, beautiful women invited you to candlelight dinners, and alluring ladies stirred your heart. I know that you longed to drink heartily and fight them to the bitter end! Once, like a general, you vanquished your enemies, embraced me, and laughed with abandon! But now, have you truly seen through the illusions of the world? Have you lost all fighting spirit?

Go forth and gallop, go forth and fight! I prefer the chivalrous spirit of a knight-errant, to the wise and shrewd.

I look forward to the day you rediscover yourself, to the day you sever my ties of affection and vanquish those who have humiliated me!

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Live up to your youth

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