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Blogger:monoipp 2018-08-10

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I'm tired. 

When the pressures of life reach a breaking point, people make choices: should the marriage end or continue its deterioration?

Infidelity was the trigger for the breakdown of the marriage, and frequent infidelity numbed me. As I recounted her stories of infidelity, I knew I had been cheated on… I don't know where to begin with the story I'm telling. To be realistic,

let's start with our current situation. We are practically in a sexless marriage. Although we share a bed, we never touch each other. We have sex about twice a month. Before each time, I'm excited, but afterwards, I feel incredibly remorseful. This kind of love is distorted; the humiliation of entering someone else's recently played vagina is inescapable. Simply put, my wife only has sex with me after she comes home cheating. Of course, I'm not the kind of man who enjoys smelling and licking someone else's semen, but my wife believes she can get away with it, enjoying the thrill of cheating on her husband. She oscillates between rage and excitement, unable to make a decision.

I tried so hard to save my marriage that I came here hoping to find answers. Through countless stories, I learned obscene language and even learned about my wife's infidelity. I promised I wouldn't mind if she went out and had affairs. But now, my wife is still secretly seeking pleasure, and afterwards she never admits it. At this point, onlookers might ask how I know so much. With technology so advanced, a phone plugged into a computer and an app can access all chat logs, or a dashcam can record every navigation location—if you have money, what can't you check? Every time I have irrefutable evidence, my wife still chooses to remain silent. After a long period of cold war, she compromises, but her words become evasive! She lies, saying it was just once and she even used a condom.

With this attitude towards life, I'm thinking of giving up.

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