Jun, you gave me a memory of a cycle of reincarnation (Part Two)

[2681 words in total, a bit long, no sex content. For those not interested, I don't want to waste your time, so I'll just give a general overview of the word count and content. The close button is in the upper right corner on Windows and in the upper left corner on Mac, it's red!]
The fourth night of the team building trip.
"Daqi, wanna come to the bar for a drink? I'm here by myself!" The caller was Xiao Ye, the sales manager, a highly intelligent sales expert. Perhaps because we were of similar age and experience, we always had an unspoken understanding and endless topics to discuss, which of course always included women.
"Okay, I'll take a shower and change, I'm all sweaty!" After hanging up, I started showering and changing.
The hotel bar was a quiet, uncrowded place. Xiao Ye waved to me from the bar counter. I quickened my pace to the bar, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
"Vodka on the rocks." He gestured to the bartender. I never drink beer, Xiao Ye knew that.
"You must have something to say to me, right? And it's probably not about the company. Two men drinking at a bar, fuck, there's definitely something fishy going on." I like to joke around, everyone in the company knows that, and I even use my catchphrase "fuck" during managerial meetings. The company's vice president even talked to me about it at the company bar, but I just can't change it. To be precise, I'm unwilling to change myself for anyone or anything. Is that selfish? I don't know.
"You're really wrong, it's about the company." Xiao Ye took a small sip of her drink. "Didn't your sister want to change jobs? Come work in my department as an office clerk, replace Sister Jun. She told me she wanted to resign before she left. If your sister doesn't mind, she can come anytime. Sister Jun works until the end of this month."
"Didn't you ask why?" I downed half my drink in one gulp, that's my drinking habit, big gulps, fast.
"Her husband isn't well, you should know that, he goes to the hospital every few days, always taking leave, she's embarrassed herself." Xiao Ye looked at me, taking out two cigarettes as she spoke.
After three drinks, we had talked a lot, from Jun's resignation to his wife's constant phone use. This was the topic I least wanted to discuss. I respect other people's privacy, and I don't want to expose my own. The sudden breakdown of close friendships often stems from the loss of privacy and the resulting openness. I deliberately avoided the topic, and I think Xiao Ye could tell, so he simply stopped talking about it. Although I knew he needed someone to confide in to feel better, that person wasn't me. I made an
excuse to go to sleep and asked Xiao Ye if he wanted to go back to his room to rest. Xiao Ye decided to stay a little longer, and I left the bar alone.
As I walked, I texted Jun
: "Why didn't you tell me about your resignation?"
A while later, I received a reply from
Jun: "Some things are going on at home. I feel it's better not to tell you. You'll find out when I leave.
" Me: "Okay. If you need any help, I hope you can tell me immediately. I'll do my best."
Jun: "Okay, Da Qi, thank you!"
Suddenly, it felt like a final farewell between lovers...
I brewed a cup of raw Pu'er tea, sat quietly on the balcony, and sipped it, a strange sadness washing over me. They say a woman who's slept with a man once can't leave him, and I've started to feel a little attached to Jun. I feel a mixture of disdain and worry about this attachment, after all, Jun is a married woman with a family and a husband.
Looking at the dark sea, I couldn't swallow the tea. I decided to go for a walk on the beach. I love the sound of the waves crashing; it makes me feel incredibly small, and what does a little sadness matter then? I put on a T-shirt, a baseball cap, grabbed my room key, and headed straight for the elevator.
As the elevator doors closed, I received a text message from Jun.
Jun: I want to come to your place, is that okay?
Me: Sure, I just brewed some tea.
Back in my room, I didn't close the door. I didn't want Jun to ring the doorbell; I understood the anxiety of waiting outside. I wanted her to come in directly, at least that would be more relaxed. Jun, as always, skipped and hopped into the room, closing the door behind her. Her sky-blue dress with yellow floral prints revealed her shapely ankles, and her white flip-flops looked refreshingly cool in the sweltering September heat.
"Why does your tea always taste different?" Jun asked, taking a sip and holding up her cup.
"You're quick to learn! That's the charm of raw Pu'er tea. Different production areas, different mountains—the tea tastes different."
"And what do you think I taste like?" Jun grinned mischievously, her eyes practically slits.
"Milk!" I teased, knowing she understood what I meant.
"Thank God, even this little milk station can give off such a fragrance!" she said, then laughed to herself.
"Why did you resign? Why didn't you tell me?" After asking, I felt ridiculous. What was I to Jun? Why did she have to tell me everything?
"His kidney disease has been getting worse lately. He needs to do dialysis constantly. I can't keep taking leave, or my boss and colleagues will look down on me. I don't want people always talking about me. I'm an adult now, don't you think?" Jun's smile was gone, but there was no trace of sadness on her face. "You make your own mistakes. When things are good, friends and women surround you, but when you have problems, nobody wants to lend a hand."
"What are your plans for the future?" I continued to ask Jun.
“Let’s leave it at that for now. Who knows what the future holds!” Jun lit a cigarette. “I chose this life, so I have to live it. To be honest, I have no plans, and I can’t even see what I’m facing.” Taking a deep drag, Jun continued, “We met through an introduction when we were 23, got married at 25, and only found out the following year that he had chronic nephritis and wasn’t cooperating with his treatment. Even in that condition, he still had the energy to go out and have fun. I found a small blue pill in his wallet. You should know what it is. I wrote down the Chinese and English names and went to the pharmacy to find out what it was.”
“Maybe this little pill was prepared for you.” This sentence was laced with probing and guidance.
"For me? I never asked him to do anything in bed, and I didn't find out he was impotent after we got married. Don't laugh at me, but my first time was with two fingers. That's fine, at least it didn't hurt like other women's. It was my first time before marriage. I always thought we were so young, there wouldn't be any problems with our bodies, just that we were inexperienced and nervous. The second time, I barely managed to stand up, and he ejaculated before even putting the head inside. Back then, we were young, who cared about that? I kept thinking I'd get used to it, and that I could accept it once I wasn't nervous anymore. After we got married, I..." He has other women outside, and I just don't understand where he gets the confidence to still see other women after what he's done. Daqi, don't say women's intuition is wrong; let me tell you, it's not intuition. I once found women's underwear and thongs in his bag. Gradually, I realized he was very abnormal in this regard, not in the way of impotence or premature ejaculation, but in his sexual psychology. He would buy me open-crotch underwear and stockings, all black; even if he could just change the color, I would feel a little interested. He would buy me dildos, and they were all the thick, big kind, and he would use them endlessly. Anyway, later I slowly... Slowly, I started to like him, after all, he could bring me to orgasm; he would eat all my vaginal fluids clean, he would lick my anus endlessly, I could even feel his tongue going inside, and I could tolerate all of that; but he made me watch porn and imitate the moans of the women in porn for him, and I still haven't satisfied him with that. For the past year, he's always been saying that he wants other men to fuck me so he can watch, I really don't know what kind of person he is, I always feel like he has some kind of psychological problem," He took another deep drag on his cigarette, and I noticed that Jun, like a man, insisted on smoking until the very end, and looked very greedy, "You "You might ask why I don't divorce him. It's not like I haven't tried. The first time I said it, he cut his wrists with a razor blade, and I bled so much I couldn't even cry. We had to call 120 and he took me to the hospital before I was alright. The second time, he took sleeping pills, and we had to have his stomach pumped at the hospital before he was out of danger. The third time, he turned on the gas, saying he'd burn us to death if we divorced. I felt so helpless, Daqi."
As she spoke, I kept looking at her. I felt a disdain in her expression as she told all this. I knew it wasn't disdain for the things that happened, but rather disdain for her own fate—the kind of disdain that comes after experiencing helplessness. Similarly, I didn't know what kind of man he was, a man who used death to preserve a marriage. Should I praise his courage or condemn him for his incompetence? I didn't know.
"The tea's gone cold, can you still drink it?" Her expression had returned to a smile.
"No, I don't want to drink it. I'll pour it out and go boil some water." Saying this, I picked up the electric kettle and headed into the house.
"I'm not drinking anymore. I'm going downstairs. Yao Yao's still here. I'm afraid if she falls asleep, I
won't be able to get in. You should go to sleep early!" Jun stood up, straightened her skirt, and walked straight to the door. "You should go to sleep early too. Don't think too much. We'll deal with whatever comes." I held the water bottle, watching her go, and unconsciously said something pointless. She
just turned back and smiled at me, then casually closed the door and disappeared from my sight. My mind, which had been filled with fantasies of slim waists and curvy hips, suddenly returned to reality.
I told myself not to think about anything, to go to sleep quickly, to sleep one last night tomorrow, and to go back to our familiar city the day after tomorrow. Everything would be over, it would all be over.
Jun: Da Qi, if I leave this company, will you still remember me? Will you still remember that night?
Looking at the text message Jun sent me on my phone, I didn't know how to reply to her. I'm sure I didn't reply to her, but I couldn't sleep that night until dawn.

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Jun, you gave me a memory of a cycle of reincarnation (Part Two)

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