My best two years of youth were truly a nightmare.

I've been reading 69 for over ten days now, and today, on a whim, I decided to write down my own sexual history! Not for any other reason than to vent!
I'm 30 today, and married for over three years. Thinking back on the past ten years since I started dating, it could easily fill a book: When
I was nineteen, I was a sophomore in college. I met Wei, a fellow art student. He wasn't particularly handsome, but he was very sunny, talkative, and humorous. We started dating that year, my first real relationship. We kissed, made love, and were always together. I was very clingy, so we moved out of the school and rented an apartment. Since both our families were of modest means, we quickly realized that our living expenses were far from enough. So, we started tutoring piano on weekends, one-on-one. The real story began at those tutoring sessions; it was my second tutoring session, with his daughter... I forget which piano lesson I had. It rained the next day. After my lesson, my father, a student's father, drove me home. He looked older than me but was very handsome. He chatted with me a lot on the way, and when he learned that we were struggling financially, he insisted on giving me 5,000 yuan, saying it was an advance on my tutoring fees. To be honest, I was torn between accepting the offer and feeling it wasn't appropriate, because even if I taught two lessons a week, it would take me more than half a year to make up for it. Maybe I thought he was a nice person and developed some feelings for him. One day, I impulsively had a one-night stand with him. Afterwards, I felt very confused. It wasn't that I didn't love my boyfriend anymore, but I don't know why I acted that way with the student's father. I don't know what I was thinking at the time. I felt so guilty towards Wei. I had confessed everything to my boyfriend without his consent. He broke up with me that very day, and no matter how much I begged, he wouldn't give me another chance.
After the breakup, I was devastated and took almost two weeks off work before moving back to school. He seemed to be doing poorly after the breakup. Not long after, he and his classmates were eating and drinking outside the school when they got into an argument at a restaurant. He pulled over a table, smashed the bar counter, and injured a waiter, causing a big scene. The police took him away, but later, considering he was a student, they didn't detain him. He paid the restaurant 45,000 yuan in damages and the waiter's medical expenses. I didn't dare tell my family. My classmates chipped in 12,000 yuan, and I borrowed the remaining 30,000 yuan. At the time, I felt guilty because I thought it was because he was upset about our breakup. I borrowed 30,000 yuan from a friend of the student's parent who supposedly owned a bathhouse. Calling it a loan was a lie now; it was like selling myself. That's when my fate completely changed…
The money I borrowed from that so-called friend was supposedly at 10% interest per month, payable by the end of the year. During that time, I felt like dying. I wanted to tell my family the truth, but then I thought about our family situation, and the scolding I would face. Unable to repay by the end of the year, I became the lender's "employee"...
To be continued…

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My best two years of youth were truly a nightmare.

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